AN: This popped in my head recently one day as ideas sometimes do and
wouldn't leave me alone until it was written. Please excuse any out-of-
characterness and any other less than stellar parts as I just wanted to get
this off of my mind and wrote this in a rush. At least it's just a one-
shot. =p
Rated R for mature sexual situations but nothing too explicit, I don't think, since I imagine it more to be about emotions than anything else. Still, I get embarrassed when I write stuff like this but, hey, I'm posting it anyway. The experience is good for the soul, or something like that. (^^;)
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He was in love with her.
He hadn't expected it, hadn't even noticed that he was falling in love until he was already there, too late to turn back. No doubt, it had been a gradual process that had snuck up on him, building up since the day they had first met with every smile and kind gesture she bestowed upon him, shifting his feelings for her over the course of time from liking to love. And he had remained completely unaware of it until, one day, she had turned to him with that look in her eyes and he had just suddenly known that she was the one, the one that he loved.
It was wrong.
He knew that. There were too many reasons in his mind why there could never be anything between them, the least of which was that she couldn't possibly return his feelings. Although the emotions within him were too strong for him to deny, that didn't mean he should unnecessarily burden her with them. So he concealed them, struggling unbearably at times with the effort, going about his days as he usually did as if nothing had changed, even though it had to him with that one little piece of knowledge nestled deep within his heart.
He was in love with her.
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She was in love with him.
She hadn't expected it, hadn't even noticed that she was falling in love until she was already there, too late to turn back. No doubt, it had been a gradual process that had snuck up on her, building up since the day they had first met with every smile and kind gesture he bestowed upon her, shifting her feelings for him over the course of time from liking to love. And she had remained completely unaware of it until, one day, he had turned to him with that look in his eyes and she had just suddenly known that he was the one, the one that she loved.
It was wrong.
She knew that. There were too many reasons in her mind why there could never be anything between them, the least of which was that he couldn't possibly return her feelings. Although the emotions within her were too strong for her to deny, that didn't mean she should unnecessarily burden him with them. So she concealed them, struggling unbearably at times with the effort, going about her days as she usually did as if nothing had changed, even though it had to her with that one little piece of knowledge nestled deep within her heart.
She was in love with him.
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"Hatori-san!"
At the cry of his name, he turned his contemplation away from the brick pattern of a building, blinking blearily as he watched his breath plume in the coolness of the late January night lit by the full moon visible in the clear sky above. Vision wavering, he tried to focus on the figure that was rushing towards him, stopping just in front of him when she reached him. A smile stretched his lips as he gazed into those features of that upturned face which he could see so clearly now.
"Ah, Honda-kun. What are you doing here?"
"Well, I just got off of work."
"Good," he nodded. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," she said cautiously, eyeing the swaying of his body. "How are you?"
"Good," he replied, nodding again.
When she had recognized his tall frame on the city streets, she had immediately called out and hurried towards him. But she had become concerned as she noticed how his body listed from side to side while his gaze seemed unfocused. This close up, she could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his breath and realized that he wasn't quite as sober as she was used to seeing him. The oddity of seeing the normally staid doctor like this only made her more concerned as she wondered what on earth could have made him this way. If Ayame or Shigure had been with him, she would have reasoned that one or both of them had managed to drag their friend off to get drunk but neither was in sight and Hatori appeared to be alone.
"Hatori-san, are you returning home?" she asked.
He made a wordless sound of assent, body swaying.
"I see." She frowned. "Why don't I walk you home?"
He gave a wobbly smile in response.
She wouldn't feel right just leaving him alone like this. A drunk person roaming about by himself was just asking for trouble from the hoodlums that came out at this time of night, not to mention the other possible dangers that could occur. Not only that, but she was sure that being inebriated weakened the body. That, combined with the cold weather, made it twice as likely that Hatori might unexpectedly transform as she clearly recalled how just chilly weather was enough to weaken Ayame into turning into his Jyunnishi form of the snake. She had terrible imaginings of what could happen to Hatori if such a thing were to occur. A tiny seahorse left alone on a busy sidewalk was a nightmare that she had no intentions of letting happen if she had anything to say about it.
So she found her original path diverted away from her home at Shigure's as she led the unsteady doctor to his own living quarters. It was way past midnight when they arrived at his door without mishap, pausing only enough to unlock and pass through the entry gate to the Souma compound. When his hand proved too unsteady to unlock his front door, she gently, but firmly, took the keys from him.
"Please let me," she said softly as she fit the key into the lock and pushed the door open.
They stumbled inside, pausing to remove their shoes before progressing down the hallway. Not really sure what else to do, she followed him silently. Growing warm from the heat inside that was such a contrast to the weather outside, she unbuttoned her coat and noticed that he was doing the same. As she trailed after him, it was only when she found herself at the threshold of his bedroom that she paused uncertainly.
"I should get going." She shifted uncomfortably. "Shigure-san and the others will be worried."
"No." Seated on the edge of his bed, slumped wearily, Hatori tiredly shook his head then grabbed it in his hands when the room started spinning. "No," he repeated again as his alcoholic haze faded a bit more and his vision settled. "It's too late for you to be wandering around by yourself and I'm not in any condition to drive you back." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You can sleep here tonight."
"Eh?!" She stared at him in shock.
"It's my fault. You're here because of me instead of where you should be." He grimaced as he recalled the way he'd let her walk him home without protest. "You can take the bed. I have a futon somewhere around here that I can use."
"Oh, no!" Tohru shook her head rapidly. "I don't want to impose."
"If anyone, I'm the one that imposed on you."
"But-"
Hatori held up a silencing hand. "Please. This way, I won't have to worry about you making it safely back to Shigure's."
"Oh!" Her eyes widened. "Shigure-san and the others! They must be worried!"
"Don't worry. I'll take care of it." He reached for the bedside phone and dialed the familiar number. "Shigure," he said to the voice on the other end, responding to his questions. "Yes, I know. Relax. She's here with me. No, there's nothing wrong. She was helping me with something. It's so late now that I thought she should stay over and I'll bring her back tomorrow. What? How can you ask me that? Of course I didn't. Stop being stupid. It's just too late and I'm not in a condition to drive her back right now. That's all. Yes. I'm fine. Yes. Alright, I will. You, too. Good-bye."
He hung up, feeling even more worn-out than he had before. Dealing with Shigure when inebriated was never a wise move and he made it a point to remember to never do it again. Feeling drained, he lifted his head to stare at Tohru who was looking at him with no small amount of concern.
"It's okay. You can stay here for the night." He heaved a sigh, eyes half- closing in weariness. "I'll just get the futon from the closet."
"Oh, please, stay there." She gazed at him with a tiny frown. "You're obviously exhausted. Just tell me where it is and I can get it myself."
Too tired to protest even when he knew he should, he merely told her, "In the closet across the hall."
She smiled at him. "I'll be right back."
She found it without any problems but wondered where she should lay the futon out. She returned to his room, futon in arms, and opened her mouth to ask but stopped when she saw him sprawled out on the bed. He had removed his coat and suit jacket but he still had on his socks and tie as he lay there in clothes rumpled by a hard day. He rested on the bed, head nestled against the pillow with one leg extended across the mattress and the other trailing over the edge onto the floor as if he'd meant only to lay down for a second but ended up falling asleep instead.
She deposited the futon and her own coat to the side and quietly approached the prone figure. He appeared to be sleeping deeply and she debated whether she should wake him. After all, it didn't seem comfortable to sleep like that, especially with his unloosened tie cinched as tight as it looked to her eyes. She decided against disturbing his slumber. Besides, if she woke him, then his sense of gentlemanly honor would no doubt make her take the bed while he took the futon on the less comfortable floor. Though it was such a little thing, she didn't want even that smallest bit of discomfort visited upon him if she could help it, not after all he'd done for her. But even so, she couldn't just leave him like that. The least she could do was take off his tie and socks for him so he could sleep more easily.
She pursed her lips, studying the situation for a moment before she acted. Carefully, she lifted his other leg onto the bed, hoping she didn't jar him into wakefulness. Then she removed his socks and laid them off to a side, pausing for a moment to stare at his feet. Long and strong looking, they were nicely shaped, the perfect proportion to complement his build.
They were sexy feet.
She shook her head as if she could dislodge the thought, blushing as she silently berated her fluttering heartbeat for being so silly over a pair of feet. To distract herself, she moved closer to the head of the bed and her next task, to remove his tie. Only she found herself sidetracked again when her gaze fell upon his still features. A tiny frown marred her lips as she noticed how, even in sleep, his face was drawn tight as if something was plaguing his thoughts. No doubt it was the same something that had led him to get so inebriated in the first place and she briefly wondered what it could be. But no answers were forthcoming and, resisting the urge to reach out and smooth those troubled features, she went to the task of removing his tie. Adept as she was with ties, it didn't take long before she was laying the swatch of material aside and reaching out to undo the first few buttons on his white-collar shirt so he could breath easier in sleep. But just as she was about to turn away and withdraw, she was forestalled as a warm hand suddenly clasped hers in a gentle grip.
Startled, she looked down, words of apology she might have spoken for waking him dying unsaid on her lips at the look in his eyes, a look she'd never seen on his face before. She wasn't sure exactly what it was she was seeing, but whatever it was had her eyes widening and her pulse racing wildly as she could only stare back, frozen in place for endless moments.
But then, gently but firmly, his grip tugged her closer and though it was in the back of her mind to resist, somehow she just couldn't bring herself to break free, captured as she was in his gaze and the solid warmth of his flesh on hers. She shouldn't, she knew, be letting this happen since he obviously wasn't thinking clearly, clouded as he mind was with alcohol and drowsiness, and would no doubt regret this when his mind was once more in full functioning mode. Just as she scrounged up the strength and clarity of mind to pull back, his other hand cupped the back of her head, drawing it down towards him, and she became lost in his kiss as it overpowered everything else.
It swept her up, rendering her incapable of thinking clearly even if she had wanted to as a foggy haze of longing descended upon her mind, flooding her body with sensations she had never dreamed of. All of her senses were focused trustingly on him and there was nothing else in this world but her and him as time held no meaning in this reality of their making. So absorbed was she in him and the way he made her feel that she barely even noticed when he sat up, dispensing sense-clouding kisses and touches intermittently as he divested them of the rest of their clothes and gently settled her back onto the rumpled bed.
Though she wasn't sure what to do, he obviously did and she trusted him implicitly with every fiber of her being as she felt that, at this moment, this was all so very right and she didn't want to turn back. And somehow, though she would be at a loss if asked to explain exactly how she knew, she was certain that he felt the same as she, the knowledge warming her heart. But then that briefest of thoughts splintered into tiny bits when he moved over her, within her, and there was no more thinking of anything, only experiencing the feelings that he aroused within her, sensations that were stoked higher with every movement that he lovingly made for however long he made them. Time seemed endless as the intense pitch of emotions that roiled within her increased more and more with his continued fervent ministrations, the powerful sensations that surrounded them and held them in its thrall building and building until it became too much and sought an outlet, finally exploding around them with shattering force that had them both crying out and gasping for air as their bodies were left trembling with their efforts.
Long, long afterwards, when the haze of pleasure faded and they lay there silently next to each other, covers drawn over them both to ward off the chill, she turned her head to regard his features. His eyes were closed and she gazed at him tenderly though she wondered what to do now. Guilt tugged at her now that her mind was clear enough again to think things through because she supposed she should have put a stop to this before it got out of hand. But it was too late now and, though she felt somewhat responsible for taking advantage of his inebriated state to fulfill the selfish longing in her heart, she didn't regret what happened even though it changed everything.
Or did it?
They could pretend none of it happened, go on as they usually did and not have to deal with any of the consequences she knew and knew he knew would arise. Though she was willing to risk the hardships, she didn't know for certain that he was and didn't want to push him into following onto that pain-laden path that awaited them were they to pursue a relationship. But perhaps the point was moot as her knowledge of inebriated men was limited although she had heard tales about the effects of consuming strong spirits. And it was troubling, those thoughts that had a tiny frown tugging her lips downwards as she gazed upon his reposing features.
"Will you even remember this?"
Her whispered words were sad and soft, voiced lowly so as not to disturb his slumber for they were more for her benefit then her own. Would it be best if he woke with no memories of this night? Though it might be best, the selfish part of her that she found herself ashamed of wanted him to remember so she wouldn't have to deal with this alone. But the unselfish part that cared more for him than herself wanted protect him as best she could, to spare him pain because she knew he'd already had enough of it and didn't wish to be the one to bring him anymore. No matter how much it may hurt her, she wanted to keep him safe as she possibly could to the best of her abilities and dubious strength. But could she bury the memory of this night that she so treasured deep within herself without saying a word about it to anyone? To him?
"Yes, I will."
For a moment, she thought she had spoken aloud until she realized that her voice had never been that deep bass of a sound. Startled, she found his eyes open and regarding her solemnly and clearly. She flushed under that gaze and gave him a tentative smile that curved the line of her lips.
"You heard?"
"Yes, I did." His lips curved upwards softly, too, gently amused. "How could I not? You're right next to me."
Though her blush darkened, her expression was serious. "Should we pretend this didn't happen?"
"Do you want to?" he countered.
She shook her head.
His look softened but still conveyed the gravity of the situation. "You know it won't be easy."
"Yes. I know."
And from the steady way she gazed at him, he could see that she did and her certainty relieved him as did the smile she aimed at him before moving to settle herself a little closer to him. She lay there, head nestled lightly on his shoulder, and sighed in happiness at the warm comfort of his solid presence.
"What should we do first?"
Her question was a valid one, he thought, but at the moment he didn't want to think about it. The time for them to deal with it would come all too soon and, for the present, he only wanted to enjoy this new shift in their relationship. With that presence of mind, he settled deeper into the bed, closing his eyes in contentment as he basked in the warmth of her so near to him, smiling slightly as he answered her query.
"Right now? Only stay together. Just like this."
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They were in love.
They hadn't expected it, hadn't even noticed that they were falling in love until they were already there, too late to turn back. No doubt, it had been a gradual process that had snuck up on them, building up since the day they had first met with every smile and kind gesture they bestowed upon each other, shifting their feelings for the other over the course of time from liking to love. And they had remained completely unaware of it until, one day, they had turned to the other with that look in their eyes and they had just suddenly known that the other was the one, the one that they loved.
It was wrong.
They knew that. There were too many reasons in their minds why there could never be anything between them, the least of which was that the other couldn't possibly return their feelings. Although the emotions within them were too strong for them to deny, that didn't mean they should unnecessarily burden the other with them. So they concealed them, struggling unbearably at times with the effort, going about their days as they usually did as if nothing had changed, even though it had to them with that one little piece of knowledge nestled deep within their hearts.
They were in love.
And now they can show each other that love.
Rated R for mature sexual situations but nothing too explicit, I don't think, since I imagine it more to be about emotions than anything else. Still, I get embarrassed when I write stuff like this but, hey, I'm posting it anyway. The experience is good for the soul, or something like that. (^^;)
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He was in love with her.
He hadn't expected it, hadn't even noticed that he was falling in love until he was already there, too late to turn back. No doubt, it had been a gradual process that had snuck up on him, building up since the day they had first met with every smile and kind gesture she bestowed upon him, shifting his feelings for her over the course of time from liking to love. And he had remained completely unaware of it until, one day, she had turned to him with that look in her eyes and he had just suddenly known that she was the one, the one that he loved.
It was wrong.
He knew that. There were too many reasons in his mind why there could never be anything between them, the least of which was that she couldn't possibly return his feelings. Although the emotions within him were too strong for him to deny, that didn't mean he should unnecessarily burden her with them. So he concealed them, struggling unbearably at times with the effort, going about his days as he usually did as if nothing had changed, even though it had to him with that one little piece of knowledge nestled deep within his heart.
He was in love with her.
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She was in love with him.
She hadn't expected it, hadn't even noticed that she was falling in love until she was already there, too late to turn back. No doubt, it had been a gradual process that had snuck up on her, building up since the day they had first met with every smile and kind gesture he bestowed upon her, shifting her feelings for him over the course of time from liking to love. And she had remained completely unaware of it until, one day, he had turned to him with that look in his eyes and she had just suddenly known that he was the one, the one that she loved.
It was wrong.
She knew that. There were too many reasons in her mind why there could never be anything between them, the least of which was that he couldn't possibly return her feelings. Although the emotions within her were too strong for her to deny, that didn't mean she should unnecessarily burden him with them. So she concealed them, struggling unbearably at times with the effort, going about her days as she usually did as if nothing had changed, even though it had to her with that one little piece of knowledge nestled deep within her heart.
She was in love with him.
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"Hatori-san!"
At the cry of his name, he turned his contemplation away from the brick pattern of a building, blinking blearily as he watched his breath plume in the coolness of the late January night lit by the full moon visible in the clear sky above. Vision wavering, he tried to focus on the figure that was rushing towards him, stopping just in front of him when she reached him. A smile stretched his lips as he gazed into those features of that upturned face which he could see so clearly now.
"Ah, Honda-kun. What are you doing here?"
"Well, I just got off of work."
"Good," he nodded. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," she said cautiously, eyeing the swaying of his body. "How are you?"
"Good," he replied, nodding again.
When she had recognized his tall frame on the city streets, she had immediately called out and hurried towards him. But she had become concerned as she noticed how his body listed from side to side while his gaze seemed unfocused. This close up, she could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his breath and realized that he wasn't quite as sober as she was used to seeing him. The oddity of seeing the normally staid doctor like this only made her more concerned as she wondered what on earth could have made him this way. If Ayame or Shigure had been with him, she would have reasoned that one or both of them had managed to drag their friend off to get drunk but neither was in sight and Hatori appeared to be alone.
"Hatori-san, are you returning home?" she asked.
He made a wordless sound of assent, body swaying.
"I see." She frowned. "Why don't I walk you home?"
He gave a wobbly smile in response.
She wouldn't feel right just leaving him alone like this. A drunk person roaming about by himself was just asking for trouble from the hoodlums that came out at this time of night, not to mention the other possible dangers that could occur. Not only that, but she was sure that being inebriated weakened the body. That, combined with the cold weather, made it twice as likely that Hatori might unexpectedly transform as she clearly recalled how just chilly weather was enough to weaken Ayame into turning into his Jyunnishi form of the snake. She had terrible imaginings of what could happen to Hatori if such a thing were to occur. A tiny seahorse left alone on a busy sidewalk was a nightmare that she had no intentions of letting happen if she had anything to say about it.
So she found her original path diverted away from her home at Shigure's as she led the unsteady doctor to his own living quarters. It was way past midnight when they arrived at his door without mishap, pausing only enough to unlock and pass through the entry gate to the Souma compound. When his hand proved too unsteady to unlock his front door, she gently, but firmly, took the keys from him.
"Please let me," she said softly as she fit the key into the lock and pushed the door open.
They stumbled inside, pausing to remove their shoes before progressing down the hallway. Not really sure what else to do, she followed him silently. Growing warm from the heat inside that was such a contrast to the weather outside, she unbuttoned her coat and noticed that he was doing the same. As she trailed after him, it was only when she found herself at the threshold of his bedroom that she paused uncertainly.
"I should get going." She shifted uncomfortably. "Shigure-san and the others will be worried."
"No." Seated on the edge of his bed, slumped wearily, Hatori tiredly shook his head then grabbed it in his hands when the room started spinning. "No," he repeated again as his alcoholic haze faded a bit more and his vision settled. "It's too late for you to be wandering around by yourself and I'm not in any condition to drive you back." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You can sleep here tonight."
"Eh?!" She stared at him in shock.
"It's my fault. You're here because of me instead of where you should be." He grimaced as he recalled the way he'd let her walk him home without protest. "You can take the bed. I have a futon somewhere around here that I can use."
"Oh, no!" Tohru shook her head rapidly. "I don't want to impose."
"If anyone, I'm the one that imposed on you."
"But-"
Hatori held up a silencing hand. "Please. This way, I won't have to worry about you making it safely back to Shigure's."
"Oh!" Her eyes widened. "Shigure-san and the others! They must be worried!"
"Don't worry. I'll take care of it." He reached for the bedside phone and dialed the familiar number. "Shigure," he said to the voice on the other end, responding to his questions. "Yes, I know. Relax. She's here with me. No, there's nothing wrong. She was helping me with something. It's so late now that I thought she should stay over and I'll bring her back tomorrow. What? How can you ask me that? Of course I didn't. Stop being stupid. It's just too late and I'm not in a condition to drive her back right now. That's all. Yes. I'm fine. Yes. Alright, I will. You, too. Good-bye."
He hung up, feeling even more worn-out than he had before. Dealing with Shigure when inebriated was never a wise move and he made it a point to remember to never do it again. Feeling drained, he lifted his head to stare at Tohru who was looking at him with no small amount of concern.
"It's okay. You can stay here for the night." He heaved a sigh, eyes half- closing in weariness. "I'll just get the futon from the closet."
"Oh, please, stay there." She gazed at him with a tiny frown. "You're obviously exhausted. Just tell me where it is and I can get it myself."
Too tired to protest even when he knew he should, he merely told her, "In the closet across the hall."
She smiled at him. "I'll be right back."
She found it without any problems but wondered where she should lay the futon out. She returned to his room, futon in arms, and opened her mouth to ask but stopped when she saw him sprawled out on the bed. He had removed his coat and suit jacket but he still had on his socks and tie as he lay there in clothes rumpled by a hard day. He rested on the bed, head nestled against the pillow with one leg extended across the mattress and the other trailing over the edge onto the floor as if he'd meant only to lay down for a second but ended up falling asleep instead.
She deposited the futon and her own coat to the side and quietly approached the prone figure. He appeared to be sleeping deeply and she debated whether she should wake him. After all, it didn't seem comfortable to sleep like that, especially with his unloosened tie cinched as tight as it looked to her eyes. She decided against disturbing his slumber. Besides, if she woke him, then his sense of gentlemanly honor would no doubt make her take the bed while he took the futon on the less comfortable floor. Though it was such a little thing, she didn't want even that smallest bit of discomfort visited upon him if she could help it, not after all he'd done for her. But even so, she couldn't just leave him like that. The least she could do was take off his tie and socks for him so he could sleep more easily.
She pursed her lips, studying the situation for a moment before she acted. Carefully, she lifted his other leg onto the bed, hoping she didn't jar him into wakefulness. Then she removed his socks and laid them off to a side, pausing for a moment to stare at his feet. Long and strong looking, they were nicely shaped, the perfect proportion to complement his build.
They were sexy feet.
She shook her head as if she could dislodge the thought, blushing as she silently berated her fluttering heartbeat for being so silly over a pair of feet. To distract herself, she moved closer to the head of the bed and her next task, to remove his tie. Only she found herself sidetracked again when her gaze fell upon his still features. A tiny frown marred her lips as she noticed how, even in sleep, his face was drawn tight as if something was plaguing his thoughts. No doubt it was the same something that had led him to get so inebriated in the first place and she briefly wondered what it could be. But no answers were forthcoming and, resisting the urge to reach out and smooth those troubled features, she went to the task of removing his tie. Adept as she was with ties, it didn't take long before she was laying the swatch of material aside and reaching out to undo the first few buttons on his white-collar shirt so he could breath easier in sleep. But just as she was about to turn away and withdraw, she was forestalled as a warm hand suddenly clasped hers in a gentle grip.
Startled, she looked down, words of apology she might have spoken for waking him dying unsaid on her lips at the look in his eyes, a look she'd never seen on his face before. She wasn't sure exactly what it was she was seeing, but whatever it was had her eyes widening and her pulse racing wildly as she could only stare back, frozen in place for endless moments.
But then, gently but firmly, his grip tugged her closer and though it was in the back of her mind to resist, somehow she just couldn't bring herself to break free, captured as she was in his gaze and the solid warmth of his flesh on hers. She shouldn't, she knew, be letting this happen since he obviously wasn't thinking clearly, clouded as he mind was with alcohol and drowsiness, and would no doubt regret this when his mind was once more in full functioning mode. Just as she scrounged up the strength and clarity of mind to pull back, his other hand cupped the back of her head, drawing it down towards him, and she became lost in his kiss as it overpowered everything else.
It swept her up, rendering her incapable of thinking clearly even if she had wanted to as a foggy haze of longing descended upon her mind, flooding her body with sensations she had never dreamed of. All of her senses were focused trustingly on him and there was nothing else in this world but her and him as time held no meaning in this reality of their making. So absorbed was she in him and the way he made her feel that she barely even noticed when he sat up, dispensing sense-clouding kisses and touches intermittently as he divested them of the rest of their clothes and gently settled her back onto the rumpled bed.
Though she wasn't sure what to do, he obviously did and she trusted him implicitly with every fiber of her being as she felt that, at this moment, this was all so very right and she didn't want to turn back. And somehow, though she would be at a loss if asked to explain exactly how she knew, she was certain that he felt the same as she, the knowledge warming her heart. But then that briefest of thoughts splintered into tiny bits when he moved over her, within her, and there was no more thinking of anything, only experiencing the feelings that he aroused within her, sensations that were stoked higher with every movement that he lovingly made for however long he made them. Time seemed endless as the intense pitch of emotions that roiled within her increased more and more with his continued fervent ministrations, the powerful sensations that surrounded them and held them in its thrall building and building until it became too much and sought an outlet, finally exploding around them with shattering force that had them both crying out and gasping for air as their bodies were left trembling with their efforts.
Long, long afterwards, when the haze of pleasure faded and they lay there silently next to each other, covers drawn over them both to ward off the chill, she turned her head to regard his features. His eyes were closed and she gazed at him tenderly though she wondered what to do now. Guilt tugged at her now that her mind was clear enough again to think things through because she supposed she should have put a stop to this before it got out of hand. But it was too late now and, though she felt somewhat responsible for taking advantage of his inebriated state to fulfill the selfish longing in her heart, she didn't regret what happened even though it changed everything.
Or did it?
They could pretend none of it happened, go on as they usually did and not have to deal with any of the consequences she knew and knew he knew would arise. Though she was willing to risk the hardships, she didn't know for certain that he was and didn't want to push him into following onto that pain-laden path that awaited them were they to pursue a relationship. But perhaps the point was moot as her knowledge of inebriated men was limited although she had heard tales about the effects of consuming strong spirits. And it was troubling, those thoughts that had a tiny frown tugging her lips downwards as she gazed upon his reposing features.
"Will you even remember this?"
Her whispered words were sad and soft, voiced lowly so as not to disturb his slumber for they were more for her benefit then her own. Would it be best if he woke with no memories of this night? Though it might be best, the selfish part of her that she found herself ashamed of wanted him to remember so she wouldn't have to deal with this alone. But the unselfish part that cared more for him than herself wanted protect him as best she could, to spare him pain because she knew he'd already had enough of it and didn't wish to be the one to bring him anymore. No matter how much it may hurt her, she wanted to keep him safe as she possibly could to the best of her abilities and dubious strength. But could she bury the memory of this night that she so treasured deep within herself without saying a word about it to anyone? To him?
"Yes, I will."
For a moment, she thought she had spoken aloud until she realized that her voice had never been that deep bass of a sound. Startled, she found his eyes open and regarding her solemnly and clearly. She flushed under that gaze and gave him a tentative smile that curved the line of her lips.
"You heard?"
"Yes, I did." His lips curved upwards softly, too, gently amused. "How could I not? You're right next to me."
Though her blush darkened, her expression was serious. "Should we pretend this didn't happen?"
"Do you want to?" he countered.
She shook her head.
His look softened but still conveyed the gravity of the situation. "You know it won't be easy."
"Yes. I know."
And from the steady way she gazed at him, he could see that she did and her certainty relieved him as did the smile she aimed at him before moving to settle herself a little closer to him. She lay there, head nestled lightly on his shoulder, and sighed in happiness at the warm comfort of his solid presence.
"What should we do first?"
Her question was a valid one, he thought, but at the moment he didn't want to think about it. The time for them to deal with it would come all too soon and, for the present, he only wanted to enjoy this new shift in their relationship. With that presence of mind, he settled deeper into the bed, closing his eyes in contentment as he basked in the warmth of her so near to him, smiling slightly as he answered her query.
"Right now? Only stay together. Just like this."
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They were in love.
They hadn't expected it, hadn't even noticed that they were falling in love until they were already there, too late to turn back. No doubt, it had been a gradual process that had snuck up on them, building up since the day they had first met with every smile and kind gesture they bestowed upon each other, shifting their feelings for the other over the course of time from liking to love. And they had remained completely unaware of it until, one day, they had turned to the other with that look in their eyes and they had just suddenly known that the other was the one, the one that they loved.
It was wrong.
They knew that. There were too many reasons in their minds why there could never be anything between them, the least of which was that the other couldn't possibly return their feelings. Although the emotions within them were too strong for them to deny, that didn't mean they should unnecessarily burden the other with them. So they concealed them, struggling unbearably at times with the effort, going about their days as they usually did as if nothing had changed, even though it had to them with that one little piece of knowledge nestled deep within their hearts.
They were in love.
And now they can show each other that love.