Priorities
Hey guys,
heartbroken-kitsune here! this is my first fanfiction, and I hope you guys like it, please review it, I do take anonymous reviews so if you don't have an account you can still review me, I'd REALLY appreciate it and i could so use some feedback seeing as I'm not confidant at all with my work! Oh and before I forget! DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA OR ANY OF its CHARACTERS (I merely do this for fun and because I love to write). Now that that's out of the way, enjoy the yaoi goodness! Warning this is a malexmale smut, with a minor plot that stretched on because I fail at endings so no likey, no ready! Thank you!
*Engwand! No! Don't go! Don't leave me! I'll hate you if you go!*
These memories still haunted England to this day. 'Maybe...Maybe I should have listened; maybe I should have stayed-no! I did what I did for his own good! I did what I did so he'd be safe, I can't regret that!' England thought to himself.
"Britain! Wassup bro?" America called as he glomped England from behind, breaking said nation's train of thought, "A-America? What the bloody hell?"
"Hey dude, you looked a little down, what's eatin' ya bro?"
"N-nothing! What are you doing here anyways?" England stuttered. "Japan wasn't home so I'd thought I'd come here." America said gleefully. England was taken aback.
"W-why? You hate my house, you constantly complain about my cooking, and you always talk about Russia this and Russia that, so why come here?" England stated, a blush coloring his pale face.
"Because Russia gives off a weird vibe and Japan uses chopsticks and i can't figure it out." England gave America a confused look. "What the bloody hell does that have to do with anything?" America smirked.
"Absolutely nothing!" America said, giving England his signature smile and thumbs up. England rolled his eyes and sighed.
"I swear with you it's just in one ear and out the other." England said, turning to walk away and make some tea.
"Aww come on bro! Lighten up! You like, so need to like, learn to take a joke dude!" America laughed.
"I CAN TAKE A JOKE YOU BLOODY IDJIT!" America just laughed.
"Dude i don't even know what that is!" England face-palmed.
"Of course you don't.*sigh* Anyways if you're staying you know where everything is. I'm going to have some tea." England walked away, so as to hide his blushing face from America. He could never tell America how he really felt. He acted spiteful towards the younger nation, but no one knew that he only did it to keep America from finding out the truth, finding out the sick, twisted truth that the man who raised him was actually in love with him. He'd tried for centuries to sort out or eradicate his feelings, but nothing ever worked out. He could never think of what he had done to deserve this twisted fate, nor could he rid himself of the perverted nature of the emotions he felt towards the centuries younger nation. Shaking his head to try and clear it he set himself to heating some water for his tea when he heard a crash. Thinking the worst, England automatically dropped what he was doing and ran to the site of the sound. But was completely unprepared for what he saw. Glass and blood was everywhere and amidst the debris was a bleeding America and a broken bayonet. Acting solely on impulse England immediately ran to America and fell to his knees, and grabbed America's wrist and checked for a pulse. Once he found one he ran to his phone and dialed 999, requesting an ambulance immediately. Between America's injuries and the broken bayonet which had meant so much to him he didn't know which was worse. The fact that his younger brother and long-time crush was badly wounded, and by the weapon used when they fought before America broke away from him, or that said weapon which had been his only defense against physical harm and showing his weakness at how much America's rebellion had actually hurt him, was now broken; wood shattered, and the old metal work unfastened and dented. England was still on his knees, when the ambulance arrived but quickly got to his feet as they put America on the gurney, demanding to go with them and refusing to leave America…HIS America.
America woke up to a bright light shining in his face. A hospital? How did he get here? And why was he here for that matter. He thought as he tried to sit up, but was stopped by a sharp pain in his left side… and then it all came back to him. He had been at England's house and was on his way to the stairs that lead to the guest room when he tripped and landed on a big glass case. He couldn't remember what was in the case but he remembered it was something important or England wouldn't have had it in its own case. Laying back down he looked around the room when he saw England sleeping in a chair next to the bed. This was the first time he had ever seen England asleep, since he was a little colony. England usually looked so peaceful while he slept, but this time he looked sad. It was then that America noticed the tear stains on his elder's face. Had England really been crying for him? Or was he crying for whatever he had broken? That couldn't be right. If it was for whatever he'd broken wouldn't he be at home tending to it? But then why would England cry for HIM? Didn't he hate America?
"A…America…" America snapped out of his train of thought and looked at England. The latter nation hadn't moved. 'Was he…was he dreaming about me? Dude! Where's a dream reader when you need one?' America thought.
"America…no…don't go… please…" America froze. He instantly knew what England was dreaming about. 'That's why he's crying! He'd dreaming about the night I won my freedom from him! He's reliving that night!' America was stunned that England was still affected by his breaking off from him, so many centuries later. 'This must be why he ignores everyone on my birthday! He's still living in the past!' as America returned to reality, he looked to see new tears falling down England's face, and 'being the hero that he is' he didn't want to see England cry over that night anymore. America reached out and lightly shook England's shoulder, waking England with a start. He quickly looked around the room in shock. 'It was just a dream… Just a bad dream. America was still alive…right?' England's neck snapped in America's direction, very nearly giving himself whip-lash. But seeing America looking at him, obviously alive and in no danger of dying, England completely forgot his now aching neck and embraced the boy nation, eyes wet with tears of joy.
"W-whaaa? Dude what're ya doing?" America stuttered, not at all hero-like. England just held on tighter, hoping he wasn't crushing America. "I'm sorry… it's my fault. I shouldn't have left you alone. I'm so sorry. America I" England was cut off when a nurse entered the room.
"I'm sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but it's time for" she looked at her clip board, "Mr. Jones to take his medication." The nurse said pleasantly as she walked over to the other side of the bed and injected a syringe into America's IV. "There we go, that should numb the pain for now." She looked at England. "And your name sir?" she asked with a pointed look. Her dark brown eyes piercing right through England.
"A-Arthur, Arthur Kirkland." He stuttered, caught off guard by her own glare he almost forgot that he had been glaring at her for interrupting.
"Well, Mr. Kirkland. I'd very much appreciate that you take your leave and let Mr. Jones rest. Only family members are allowed to stay past visiting hours." She stated plainly. 'Now I really hate this woman!' England thought to himself as he started to leave.
"Wait!" America called. "He is family! He's my brother. Let him stay, please?" America then gave the nurse that puppy-dog look that he knew full well, no one could resist. Even England still fell prey to that look! But England knew he only used that look when he really wanted something. He used it all the time when he was younger, but as the years went by he used it less and less, until now he very rarely uses it. England was surprised he still remembered how to use that look it had been so long since he'd seen America use that look. Attention now on the red-faced nurse, he could tell America had won this battle. "W-well….I… I don't….well… I guess it'd be okay…since he's family…" she stuttered reluctantly. "B-But please don't tell anyone I let you! You're supposed to get a doctor's permission, so I don't know if they'd appreciate me doing this."
"That's fine. I can see why you'd be worried. I'll just go get permission from the front desk." England said as he kept his expression neutral. But inside England was smirking, but was utterly confused. 'Why did America want me to stay so badly? But then why did America do a lot of the things he did? No one would ever know.' England thought, turning to leave.
"Britain?..."
"Yes?" he looked back at America who was severely blushing.
"You…you will come back r-right?" England was amazed. America WANTED him to come back? England couldn't hold back a blush. "Y-yeah. I will." He said as he shut the door behind him. England's heart was pounding as he leaned his back against the door. America actually WANTED him to stay? He could barely think straight as he headed solemnly down the stairs and over to the front office, and by the time he got there he had almost forgotten what he'd come down here for.
When he returned to America's room he was greeted by a lightly snoring, passed out cold, nation. "So much for a 'welcome back'" England chided to himself. 'Well, at least he's alive.' England thought as he wandered back over to the chair he'd been sitting in before he left. England was bone tired and just wanted to be able to go home and fix his house and rest. But he couldn't, not while America was still here in the hospital by his own doing, accidental or not. England hung his head in his hands in shame. He should've helped America with his belongings, if he hadn't left him alone he wouldn't have tripped and injured himself. Tears streamed down England's face. It was all his fault. He was the reason that his baby brother was here now. The reason the love of his life was here. God he was sick. In love with his baby brother, the same brother he'd raised and cared for the boy's life long!
"England?" England's head snapped up, locking his emerald green eyes with America's sleepy sky blue ones. "Why're you crying bro?" America asked. England automatically wiped the tears from his eyes.
"I'M NOT BLOODY CRYING!" England protested, but America just laughed in response.
"Dude you like, so totally were. And dude, the hero can't help if you don't tell him why you were crying like a sissy!" England blushed. He could never tell America, the younger nation would never let him live it down that he'd been crying for him, or that he was gay and in love with him! But… maybe… I could give him a taste of his own medicine…now how to do that? England's eyes widened as an idea came to mind. It was risky, but it was all he could think of. America was instantly wary when a sly grin spread across England's face. England leaned forward and before America knew what he was doing, he kissed America full on the mouth. When England pulled away both were blushing, and unable to meet the each other's eyes. "I…T-that's what I've been crying about… two things… one; it's my fault you're in here and two…I…I love you… I know I shouldn't, I know it's twisted but… I just can't help it…" new tears were now flowing down England's face.
"B-but we're brothers! You, we- we shouldn't! It…it's not right!" more tears streamed down England's face. He felt as though his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He was losing America all over again.
"I know…I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, for both how I feel and…and wasting your time…I…I'll call up Russia for you, I'm sure you'd much rather have him here than me anyways." England whispered as he headed for the door. "Britain! Britain, wait!" England turned.
"W-what?" England was stunned to see tears flowing down America's own face.
"Don't go… Britain… it hurts when you leave, but it's warm when you're around, and all the pain goes away…tell me Britain. I've never felt this way before, please, tell me is…is this how you feel? Britain, I need to know, because I've never felt this way before, so I need to know…Britain I gotta know!" England froze.
"T-that's…that's exactly how I feel…America…" he was about to hold America in his arms when a thought struck him like lightning. "N-No. America, d-don't force yourself for my sake, please, I'm begging you, that'll only make it worse." America started crying again.
"No! No Britain, I'm not forcing anything! Please! Don't leave me Britain! Not again. Please." England couldn't hold himself back; he all but threw himself at America, his arms linking behind America's neck.
"Promise me… promise me, promise you won't leave again…" England clung tighter to America.
"I promise… I promise." England then pulled away and kissed America again, this time America gladly kissed England back. When they pulled away both were panting, blushing in excitement and embarrassment at their actions.
"England… so… are…are we like, together now?" England smiled.
"Yeah. I guess we are." England said. He let go of his new boyfriend when they heard a knock at the door, and the nurse from before walked in with her clip board.
"How're you feeling Mr. Jones? Better I hope?" America smiled
"Much thanks. But hey my "brother's" clear to stay the night right?" the nurse smiled
"Yes. Your brother is Okayed to stay the night. But that's not why I'm here. We won't have your test results until tomorrow, but the doctor's almost positive you'll need supervision for a few weeks after you're able enough to go home. We just want to be sure you don't re-break your ribs or anything, so you'll need to make arrangements just in case. Or we could have a nurse stay with you if you can't find someone else?" England shook his head.
"That won't be necessary. Alfred can stay at my home until he's fully healed. That's fine with you right Alfred?" America looked stunned
"Y-yeah. That's fine with me if you're cool with it Iggy." England chuckled.
"I offered, so yes its fine with me as long as you stop calling me Iggy. My name's Arthur, not Iggy." America laughed.
"I'll stop calling you Iggy, when you stop calling me Alfred!" England just rolled his eyes.
"That's hardly fair. I've been calling you Alfred for so long it'll be much harder for me to stop than you."
"That's the deal bro. Take it or leave it!" they both laughed, but their minds were else-were, but their act was conscious enough to fool the nurse.
"Well now that that's taken care of, would you like me to get some blankets or pillows for you for tonight Mr. Kirkland?" she asked politely, but England shook his head.
"No. I think I'll be alright." He said. But America wasn't having that.
"Yes, please. Just in case he does get cold, or I need a spare pillow or whatever." America countered. The nurse nodded before leaving.
"You didn't need to do that you know." England scolded.
"Yes I did. What kind of hero would I be if I didn't make sure my boyfriend would be comfy while he's stuck babysitting me in a hospital?" he chortled. England just rolled his eyes and kissed his boyfriend's forehead. "You're too much sometimes you know that right?" America just held his rib cage as he laughed, putting pressure on it to counter the pain.
"Are you okay? Do you want me to call the nurse back in here with some medication to numb the pain?" America shook his head
"No. No, I'm okay. Really. I was just laughing to hard. I'm okay." England raised his eye brow, he was wary but he dropped the subject. He then kissed America's forehead.
"If you say so. But promise me you'll tell me if it gets too painful." America nodded and kissed England's lips. England was a bit shocked but quickly warmed up to the kiss and began to join, mirroring America's own lips gladly. America had started the kiss but England had made the first move, lightly licking America's bottom lip asking for entrance, which America was hesitant to give.
"You don't have to if you don't want to. I don't want to force you into anything." England breathed when they had parted for air.
"No. It's fine. I. I've just never really, gone this far yet. With a guy, that is." America panted.
"Is that so? Well. This is as far as we will go. At least until you're both healed, and you're ready." England pulled away and kissed America's neck one last time before moving back to his seat, looking back at his boy of a lover.
"Why'd you stop?" America asked, a little angry that they couldn't continue their make out session.
"Because for one, I don't want either of us to get too excited and for another I was afraid I'd squish your ribs further." England stated bluntly. America flinched. He'd forgotten about his broken ribs. And now that England had brought them up they did hurt a little bit.
"Oh. Okay." America said as he repositioned himself in a more comfortable position. England chuckled as he then handed America the remote for the bed. America was blushing slightly as he took the remote. He didn't know why he was blushing, 'Must be because it's a little warm in here and he found the remote before I did.' America thought to himself. He hated being stuck in the hospital bed, he felt so needy when he had to be in one. And he knew it would only get worse once he was at England's place. England would baby him to no end. How could he keep up his reputation as a hero if he was being babied and on bed-rest? He wanted to get up and walk around, but he doubted the doctors would let him. "You want to take a stroll?" England asked. America just looked at him.
"What?"
"I know you. You hate being cooped up. So if you want I can ask the doctors if we can take a stroll around the hospital, maybe even get some food at the cafeteria." A smirk slowly made its way across America's face. "Sure! Dude I could like, totally go for a walk right now!" England chuckled.
"Alright then that's settled. I'll go check with the doctors to see if you're allowed." With that said England left.
When England came back he had a wheelchair with him.
"What's with the wheelchair?"
"Well the doctor said you could go around the hospital as long as you were in this wheelchair. Still want to go for a stroll?" America didn't like it but he knew England would cry or something if he said no now. So he nodded and let England help him into the wheelchair. When America was safely in the wheelchair, England walked behind the wheelchair America was in and started to push him along, he only stopped to get the door and let America scoot himself through before taking the handlebars on the back of the wheelchair again.
"Dude, you know you don't have to push me bro. I can do that myself." England was glad America couldn't see the huge smirk on his face.
"I know. But what kind of boyfriend would I be to not be a gentleman and do it for you?" England asked. America blushed; he wasn't used to England acting like this. But England ignored his boyfriend's awkwardness. He was too happy with how things had gone. He had been so scared that he was going to lose America again, but in the end he had gotten what he had always thought was just a farfetched dream! He now had America as his boyfriend! England was practically beaming!
"Hey. England? I have a question."
"I may have an answer. What's your question?"
"Don't be mad okay?"
"No promises. But go ahead."
"Well…well, it's just that …didn't …weren't you in love with Japan?" England froze.
"I…I was once …but …he never loved me…I was just his little sex toy. The night you broke off from me I caught him cheating on me. I tried to stay away from romance of any kind after that. But as you can tell it didn't work out as I had hoped. A few years later I started to realize my feelings for you. Thinking you hated me I tried to stay away, acting like I hated you too, in an attempt to keep you from finding out my true feelings. You're the only person I've trusted even a little since Japan left me whither I liked it or not." This was one reason he ignored everyone, why he couldn't let go of the past, because of that one night he'd lost everything all at once. Everyone dear to him, and the feelings they gave him. All he had left for centuries after that were his magical friends. America felt horrible, England had been living in the past, keeping all his feelings bottled up all this time, never letting anyone know anything. He wished everything could just go back the way it was. He remembered when he was little, England would make time for him no matter what, and he remembered when England would play with him. When he was small enough to fit in the old pirate hat England used to wear. But what he missed the most was when England used to smile. Whenever he and England used to play, England would smile, and laugh …he missed those days more than he'd ever admit.
"I'm sorry…hey… do …do you still have your old outfit? The one you used to wear. You know…that pirate one…" England looked at the boy in front of him. He still remembered that far back? He'd stopped his piracy days not long after he'd begun taking care of America! He couldn't believe he still remembered that far back!
"Y-yeah I still have it…why?" America just looked at his feet.
"Because… I miss the old you…when we get back to your place…think…ya' think maybe you could…wear it for me?" England blinked
"Uh… sure? I guess I could. If it still fits that is." Was all England could think of to say to him. They continued down to the cafeteria in silence, not knowing what to say to each other they just stayed silent.
"So…you sure you want me at your place?" America asked. England shrugged
"Why wouldn't I? Again I offered. Oh but now that I think about it, I will have to clean up all that glass and the remains of my old bayonet when I get home. Other than that everything should be okay." America flinched. So that was what he broke. Now he felt even worse. He knew how much that bayonet had meant to him.
"That…that's what I broke?" America was glad he couldn't see England's face at this point.
"Yes but don't worry about it. It was just collecting dust anyways. Besides, I have something better to replace that old thing." America's head lifted.
"What?"
"Your love." England whispered before he kissed America's hair. Inhaling deeply as he opened his mouth and lightly tugged America's cowlick. The boy was always guarding it, when people asked he'd just say "You want YOUR hair pulled all the time?" his only excuse for his guarding "Massachusetts" as he claimed it was. But when England tugged it, he found out WHY. It was SENSETIVE!
"Hey bro?"
"Mmm?" England asks smirking.
"I don't? I don't remember? Why am I here? And. And why does my whole body hurt?" England flinched, all color draining from his face.
"W-what? A-are you joking? America don't toy with me like that!" America holds his head.
"No. I'm not. My head hurts so much I-AHHHH!" America was screaming when he fell out of the wheelchair, holding his head.
"AMERICA!" England fell to his knees beside America "NURSE! SOMEONE GET A NURSE! A DOCTOR, A NURSE, SOMEONE, ANYONE!" America grabbed England's shirt to help himself up
"AHHHHH! Britain! Help me! Please help me! Make it stop!" by now America had lost all color just like England had.
"IT'LL BE OKAY! YOU'LL BE OKAY! I PROMISE!" a nurse who'd been around the corner helped America back into the wheelchair and her and England began running back to America's room
"What's wrong with him?" England asked desperately
"I think his pain medication wore off! He needs to get the medication back into his system!"England shook his head.
"No! That can't be it! He'd forgotten why and how he' here!"
"All I can think of is that the raw exposure to the pain gave him slight amnesia. But we have to get him back to his room to administer the medication!"
"Y-You git! I told you to tell me when it started to hurt!"
"…Britain?" America coughed.
"What?" England asked, wiping the tears from his eyes
"I'll be okay *cough* I'm the hero after all… I need to live…" America was only barely able to talk, so he offered a weak smile to his lover to reassure him. Little did he know it only scared him more that England might lose him.
"Of course! You git, just…just rest now, you'll need it" England was now clinging to America's hand for dear life.
"Can…can you do me a favor?" England looked hopefully at America
"Of course!"
"Can you …call…Ivan for me?" as soon as the words left America's lips England was crushed. America wanted that violent bastard here? Wasn't he enough?
"Y…yes…of course…anything you want…" England walked away to hide how much America's words had scarred him, and to hide his new stream of tears. He should have known he'd never be good enough for America to only want him by his side. Not only that but he didn't deserve to have America love him like that. Once Russia was here, he'd leave them alone. He wanted to go home, but he'd promised he'd stay and so he would. But away from them.
"You called for me da?" Russia asked as soon as he'd opened the door to America's room.
"Oh, Russia, bro, you're here! Well yeah I called ya! I kinda lost my memory for a bit and my meds had worn off, but I'm okay now! But…hey where's Britain?" America looked around the room in search of the missing Englishmen.
"Well I'm glad you're okay now. But I have not seen him. He called me asking for me to come here because you asked, but I have not seen him." The Russian stated in his heavily accented voice.
"Damnit!" America swore.
"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" he asked, completely calm.
"No Russia. I'm just annoyed! Britain knows I love him, but when it comes to me seeing you he always runs away! Just like last time."
"Good. Then he knows he does not deserve you. He knows that I'll kill him if he keeps hurting you." He said with a smile.
"Russia you know I love him, so don't give me that line because I'm not in the mood right now. If I hurt myself anymore trying after him I'll have to get Canada to pay! Now stop being a douche and get out or I'll get out of this bed and FORCE you out!" Russia just smiled.
"Well now. If that's how you feel I'll leave and fetch your lover who's so full of himself he can't even stand you being with another man for even another second" with a laugh and a turn on the balls of his feet the Russian was gone.
"Yeah you better." America had a feeling Russia was mad at him but you could never tell with him. America crossed his arms and lay back down in the bed. 'Britain you know Russia is just my friend, so why does he bother you so much?' America asked himself. America was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard noise outside his room just seconds before the door was opened and England fell in on his face.
"Oww! Damn wanker!"
"Oh! Britain! Glad you decided to 'drop' by." America joked, trying not to laugh. England just grumbled as he brushed the dirt off his clothes, working himself into a standing position
"Indeed, it's `nice' to see you too." England grumbled, now in a full standing position, but was hiding the right side of his face.
"Come over here." America demanded, reaching out for England like a child.
"What? Uh, okay?" England began to walk over to America's bedside and as soon as he was in reach America grabbed England's face and put their foreheads together
"Britain. I want you to know I love you." England stepped back, out of America's grasp.
"I-I I know you-well, sort of, loved me already, b-but why bring it up again?"
"Because you won't let me talk to others. I would like to see my friends every once in a while dude."
"I let you talk to others! I did as you asked and called Russia here for you didn't I?"
"Yeah but then you go off and sulk just because I wanted to see him!"
"I- I was not sulking! I just figured you'd want to talk to him in private, so I gave you two your space! And it seems it was a waste of a call, seeing as you shooed him away!" England really didn't want to fight right now, he was too tired, and America needed to stay calm and focus on healing his injuries. He didn't want America finding the long cut that was across his right cheek.
"Look at me." America grabbed England's face, thankfully missing his cut. "I wanted to spend time with you AND Russia. And I sent him away because he was being a douche." England blushed.
"Well you should have said so" England turned his face to the right to further hide his cut from America. But it was too late, because America had noticed
"What are you hiding?" America again reached for England's face but England pulled away
"It's nothing! I'm fine!" but when England turned away America saw the cut.
"Wait is that a cut on your face?"
"It's nothing! It's just a scratch, I'm fine! Don't worry about it; YOU'RE the one in the hospital, just worry about getting better." England now was too afraid to face America
"No. Britain, when did you get that?" England's hands were in fists at his sides
"I told you, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about it! Focus on your own injuries." England started walking to the bathroom so he could clean it out, but also so he wouldn't have to face America.
"Britain! Look at me! Wait…Russia gave it to you didn't he?" England froze. "I'm right aren't i? Damnit! He should know better! I mean I knew he was mad but dude! That ain't right! He knows I love you! I'll kill him for this!" America was furious! He'd told Russia a thousand times over to not hurt England! But he just doesn't listen!
"Don't be daft! You and I both know full well he could put you back in the hospital! Besides, I don't need my lover to fight for me. I can fight for the both of us." Though England's words were to reassure America they didn't.
"And I don't need you to fight for me anymore! I'm not a colony anymore! I'm a country! And I can take care of myself!" England hung his head in shame.
"America please don't start this. And for the time being you do need me to fight for you. And even when you don't need me to fight for you I still will! I'll fight for you! I have been since I first found you and I won't stop until I'm six feet under! You're my America, and that won't ever change!"
"Britain… come here…" England did as he was told but his head was still hung in shame.
"Yes?" America took England's face in his hands and crushed their lips together. England was stunned when America kissed him, but gladly went along for the ride and kissed America back. "You worry too much Britain." America gasped between breathes when they parted for air.
"Who do you think makes me worry so much?" England smirked
"Well then let's fight side by side this time. Once I'm out of the hospital, you and I can go against Russia together" America smiled sweetly up at England.
"No. I don't want you hurt more than you already are. It's not worth it." England paused to kiss America's forehead. "Don't worry about me, just focus on getting better." England smiled back at America.
"Just wait until I'm out of the hospital, then we can fight side by side! I'll have your back! You'll never get hurt while the hero's around!" England ruffled America's hair with a sad look in his eyes.
"So persistent…but…I can't do that…its bad enough it's my fault you're in here in the first place…I can't let you fight…" America looked away, not meeting England's sad green eyes.
"Britain…go away." England flinched as he came back to reality.
"W-what?"
"You don't get it do you?" England's eyes were brimming with tears.
"Get what? America tell me!"
"I'm stronger than you! I should be protecting you! And if you die do you know what that would do to me? If we fight together, we'll either win together or die together! Doesn't that make more sense?"
"Y-Yes, but-But YOU don't get it! All these years I've been protecting you but letting you down at the same time! I'm trying to make up for my mistakes! America I always end up hurting you!" America shook his head.
"I just wish for once, you'd trust me like Russia does…" England was now crying, tears streaming down his face and falling to the floor
"I DO trust you! You're the only one I've trusted since Japan! I'm just so scared I'm going to lose you…America…I can't risk it…I can't lose you…."
"I can't lose you either! But if we fight TOGETHER we'll die together or win together!"
"America…" England could barely think. All those years of protection and keeping himself separated gone to waste.
"So what do you say?" America asked, watching England fall to his knees
"…..Okay…you win…you can fight…." America put his hand on England's head, which was in England's own hands.
"Britain, you'll still be protecting me. You just have someone protecting you now."
"I know….I'm sorry….i just couldn't risk it…..I'm sorry…"
"You don't want me in pain, but it hurt so much more every time you would leave to fight…"
"I know…that's why I've been trying to make up for leaving you by yourself….I'm so sorry…I knew it hurt, but at least you were alive, at least you were safe…I'm so sorry…" America sighed.
"Britain…Britain please stop blaming yourself. I fell; it was MY fault, not yours." England shook his head.
"It is my fault! I shouldn't have left you alone! I shouldn't have kept that damned bayonet! If I had thrown it away years ago you never would have fallen on it and we wouldn't be here! You wouldn't be hurt!" America lifted England's head so he would look at him.
"Listen to me. It's. Not. Your. Fault. Britain I won't let you blame yourself for something I did." England's eyes widened and he leapt into America's arms, burying his face in America's shoulder.
"America….my America…" England cried.
"I'm here dude, and stop crying. You don't have to cry over everything." England wiped his eyes.
"I don't cry…over everything…just…just with you." England held America tighter in his arms, and America held back.
"You don't need to. I can take care of myself now. And I can take care of you from now on."
"No. I'm older I have to take care of you. To have you take care of me is to throw away my dignity, and everything I've worked for, everything I've done to keep you safe." England looked at America, green eyes locking with America's bright blue ones. "I can't lose you America. I don't know what I'd do without you. I've had my heart broken before…I can't live through that again. I just can't…"
"You won't have to." America lightly kissed England. But the longer they kissed, the more passionate the kiss became. Their tongues tangled for dominance, America's soon winning. But the kiss instantly stopped when the pair heard a gasp. Heads snapping in the direction of the noise to find a blushing nurse. The same one they'd told that they were brothers.
"I-We, we can explain! We-we just…uh…help me out here bro?" England blushed. He couldn't remember being in such a scandalous and embarrassing position!
"Well…you see… please don't tell anyone! You see, we ARE brothers, just…just not by blood!" the nurse just stood there, dumbfounded.
"It's the truth! See, Artie's family adopted me when I was little, but when we got older…we just couldn't help ourselves! Please don't tell anyone!"
"B…But, you two look so much alike!" she stuttered. She clearly didn't know what to do.
"I dye my hair. That's about all he'll let me do. Our parents don't know about our relationship, so please, please don't tell anyone! Our parent's would separate us, and I couldn't bear to be apart from him!" America looked up at her from under his long eyelashes with his big blue eyes. That one look had the nurse blushing an even deeper pink. Just to add some emphasis to his words he held England close.
"Well… I-I…" she sighed in defeat. "Well, as long as you keep to yourselves, and keep a low profile while you're here, I see no reason to tell your parents…well I guess this explains why your last names are different… but any who, just, P.D.A. from now on okay?" England's jaw hit the floor. America had again wooed the nurse into doing as he asked! But was now squeezing England as hard as he could without crushing his already broken rib cage in his own excitement. But he was glad all the same that the nurse had been fooled, because the fact that they were countries, they didn't exactly HAVE parents.
"Thanks, thank you so much! Dude you like totally made our day!" America looked at England as if to say "Your turn!"
"Uh, yes, thank you. I don't know what I'd do without my little brother… we really owe you one." England said, trying to mend the tension, but the nurse just held up her hands.
"No. really it's fine. Just, be more careful okay?" America smiled
"We will! But hey… what're you doing here anyways?" America asked sounding like a child.
"I came to re-administer your medication. This one has a larger dose of morphine and some Dramamine to help you sleep."
"Sleep? But I don't wanna sleep! Hero's like me always stay up late!" America argued, crossing his arms and pouting like a toddler. England just shook his head.
"Alfred, you need to sleep. You won't get any better if you don't." England scolded. America pouted.
"Fine. But only if you promise you'll stay the night, and you'll be here when I wake up." England smiled at how childish America was.
"I promise. I'll go to my home for just a minute to grab a change of clothes but I'll be back." England ruffled America's hair as he got up to leave.
"Then I'll wait 'till you get back. I won't take the drugs until you come back." England raised his bushy eyebrows.
"Don't be silly, take your medication now and I'll be here when you wake up." England signaled the nurse to administer the drugs but America stopped her before she could.
"No. not 'till you get back. I wanna make sure you're keeping your promise!" the confused nurse looked back and forth between America and England, eyes finally landing on England she looked to him for her instructions on if she should inject the drugs now or not. England sighed in frustration.
"Fine, wait then. I'll only be a little while, no more than an hour. I'll call for a cleaning crew to take care of the mess in the stair hall, but once I get back you're taking the drugs and getting some rest."
Walking in his house, and seeing the crushed bayonet had been hell. England had almost stayed and cleaned it up himself. But he had a promise to keep and if he didn't America would never get his medication and would just get worse, and that was the last thing England wanted.
When England walked through America's room to find him still awake, but only barely.
"Y*yawn* you're back…" England walked over to America's bedside shaking his head.
"And you're exhausted." He kissed America's forehead. "I'm here now. Get some sleep. I won't leave. I promise." America sighed, leaning back in the bed and shutting his eyes. Almost right after America's eyes were shut England pushed the button on the bed's remote that called for a nurse.
"Britain…" England looked up.
"Yes?"
"…I love you…"England put down the remote and walked back over to America to kiss him.
"Yeah, I love you too. Now go to sleep you git." England gave a final pat on America's head then went over to the chair next to the bed. Out of the corner of his eye England noticed a nurse walk in.
"He's ready to take his medication now." The nurse nodded and cleaned America's arm to inject the medication.
"Cold" America said sleepily. England laughed at the fact he was still awake. America looked so worn out. His skin was pale and his eyes were drooping closed. It had only been a short amount of time but he already had bags under his eyes he was so tired. England often wondered why America always pushed himself so hard. He always said it was because he was the hero, but England always suspected something else, some odd reason as to why he acted like this.
"Is there anything else?" the nurse asked. England looked over at her. As many times as he'd seen her he never really looked at her. She had her long brown hair tied up in a bun. She was fair skinned, and quite short in height, with dark brown eyes. And her name tag read "Anne"
"No. That's it. Thank you." She nodded and left England alone to his thoughts. England stood back up and turned the bed into a cot then he lay down. But he didn't have long to think before he too was fast asleep.
When England woke up light was pouring through the thin curtains that hung in the windows of the dim lit room. He looked over at America who was still sleeping soundly, with a serene look on his pale face. England remembered when America was little. He would always end up falling asleep in his arms, and he'd always have a similar look on his face. He missed those days when America was a more obedient child, but he was happy with the man his little colony was turning into. It was always such a shame to England that he had fallen in love with the boy, he knew that being with him would not only ruin both of their reputations, but it would also end up soiling the boy he once called his brother but now calls his lover. England sat up. He felt a crick in his neck, but after a quick crack of his neck it was gone. He looked at America again, the boy was still sleeping soundly so England decided to get some breakfast before he wakes up. He could really go for a spot of tea right now to wake himself up anyways.
America woke up suddenly. He wasn't sure what had woke him, but once he was awake he could never fall back asleep if it was light out. He sat up in bed to stretch and look around the hospital room. It had taken him a minuet before he realized that England was no were to be seen.
"Britain?" Silence.
"Britain?" he called louder, but with the same silence following after. Tears welled up in America's eyes. England had left him. All alone, just like when he was a kid! Why did England always, ALWAYS do this to him? America wiped the tears from his eyes, and looked to the nightstand. He grabbed the first thing he saw and threw it against the wall as hard as he could. He kept throwing everything in reach, not even stopping when a nurse came flying in asking what was wrong, and begging him to stop. He didn't stop until he was out of things to throw. Then he cradled his knees against his chest, ignoring the pain in his chest, England had promised he'd be here! But he'd left anyways! America continued to cry into his knees. Why did England always leave him? England always said he loved him, but if that was true then why did he always leave America?
"What the bloody hell happened in here?" America looked up, his teary blue eyes meeting a pair of worried green eyes.
"Arthur?" America sniffed
"Alfred, what did you do? I leave you alone long enough to get some tea and a bite to eat and you tear up the room while I'm gone?" America looked around the room, actually seeing the damage he'd done then he looked up at England.
"I…I-I thought you were gone…I thought you'd left again." England's shoulders relaxed as he looked at America. It had been a long time since he'd seen America cry like this. He walked over to America and held him
"You git. I'm a man of my word, I promised I'd stay and I did. I only left to get breakfast. America I promise…I'll never leave you again. Not ever." America clung on to England, staining England's crisp white shirt with tears. He hadn't shown his weak side since he'd first decided to break away from England. Yet here he was, crying on the man he'd sworn he'd never depend on again because he thought England had broken his promise and left him.
"Britain…"
"Shhhhhh, I'm here. I won't leave you again. I promise." America buried his face further into England's chest and England held on tighter, burying his own face in America's hair.
"I love you." England didn't care that a few nurses were watching, he wanted America to know, be it in private or not, his America had missed him. He knew now he should have waited until America was awake to go get food. He knew he wouldn't make that mistake again. Not if it put America through this much pain. America looked up, his face stained red by the tears, and his blue eyes puffy.
"You too."
Weeks went by and America was soon able to leave the hospital. But this was the first time that they were going to live together since America was a colony and both countries were nervous at how this was going to work. From the moment they were out of the hospital, England was babying America, opening doors, holding his hand and constantly asking if he was okay and if his ribs hurt him or he needed help. America could tell that England was every bit as nervous as he was about this, but he could also tell England was hiding something because he was fidgeting and he only fidgets when he had something on his mind but didn't want to say.
"Somethin' wrong bro?" England flinched
"N-no! why-why would anything be wrong?" England wouldn't meet America's eyes as he unlocked his front door, opening it for America.
"Dude, I know you're hiding something. You like, get all fidgety and stuff when you're hiding something." America stated as he walked through the door.
"I… it's just… I've been thinking on, well… just HOW I should tell you…" America looked over at England, who was shutting the door behind him.
"Tell me what?" England hung his head.
"Why…why I hate Russia so much…" America was all ears for this. He was ready for an explanation.
"Well… it all started some odd years ago, Scotland had had a crush on Russia for some time and had finally gotten the courage to ask him out… everything was fine for a while but then… but then Russia broke his heart. Russia's land was in turmoil and his people dying, and killing the royal family. And he took his pain out on Scotland. I remember he'd sometimes come home with so many cuts and bruises, I almost sent him to the hospital! But Scotland never did a thing. Never fought back, never rat him out when people would ask how he got hurt even though they already knew. He never did anything. So north Ireland and I did it for him. We went to Russia and told him off. That if he ever went within a two hundred meter radius, we'll make sure he regrets it for life… ever since he hurt Scotland the way he did, I'll never forgive him. And he'll never forgive me and north Ireland for standing up to him for our brother." America's jaw was on the floor. 'Was Russia really THAT cruel?' England sat down across from America, his head still hung in shame. Now he understood his boyfriend's hate. Had anyone ever done anything like that to his little brother Canada he'd of done the same thing, if not more. America sat up and walked over and sat next to England. Once he was sitting he cradled England's face in his hands, bringing his face up to his for a passionate kiss. England relaxed into the kiss almost instantly, an as he began wrapping his arms around America's neck, he pulled away with a gleam in his eyes, both at half-mast.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. About everything. About Russia, about what he's done, about making you worry all the time and just…just everything…" England kissed America the second he was done; when he pulled away he coddled America's head to his chest.
"You've done nothing wrong love. Nothing, there's no need to apologize. Don't blame yourself for his deeds." America wrapped his arms around his Brit. They stayed this way for a while, comforting each other, enjoying the closeness before England broke it to kiss America again. Lips moving in sync, America teasingly licked England's lips before entering said Brit's mouth and tangling with his tongue for dominance. England leaned forward to pin America to the couch, but froze when America gasped in pain. England instantly sat up and looked at him as he remembered the American's previously broken ribs.
"Bloody hell! Are you okay?" worry clear in his eyes as he helped America sit up.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I actually forgot about my ribs until we went to lay down and they started hurting again." America lied. He knew he was just using his ribs as an excuse to not have sex with England. He'd never done it before an he was nervous about it. He loved England a lot, but although he'd never admit it, he was scared. He knew that if he bottomed it's hurt a lot, an if he topped he'd be the one hurting England. With him not being a masochist he didn't know which was worse. But guilt clouded his stomach when he looked up and saw England with a look of despair on his face.
"I'm sorry. I got ahead of myself. I promise it won't happen again." America opened his mouth to speak but England continued. "I… I'll go make some tea and something to eat…" England walked off to the kitchen without another word, Leaving America alone with his guilt. He hung his head in his hands. He hated to lie to England, but how could he tell him the truth? Once he'd realized were their kiss was headed he panicked, he had to think of a way to stop it. But he had no idea how to. When England had started to lay him down he just acted. He hadn't thought of it, he just did it. He couldn't explain it if he wanted to but that was what had happened. But now his lie was causing the person closest to him emotional pain. America had no idea what to do about it at this point, he didn't' want to hurt him at all but he'd figured that this way would cause him less pain. I mean, who wants to hear that the person they love doesn't want to have sex with them because they don't know if they want to top of bottom, because either way pain is involved for one of them?
England knew America was lying. For one thing he didn't complain about England's cooking or anything, and for another, he remembered that America had said that he'd never made-out with a male before, and if he hadn't made-out with a male he sure as hell had never had sex with a male before. But then again, England had only had sex with one person in his life and he wasn't proud of it, in fact he wished he could erase that night for good, he wished it had never happened. It had been years ago, before he'd dated Japan. He'd been so drunk that night he didn't' know what was going on around him. France had been there that night and was supposed to have taken him home after, but in the end it had been Australia who'd taken him home. That night Australia had gotten his payback for England's tormenting him all those years before. England looked through his fridge for something to eat. Finally he decided on beef stew. Not his favorite but it had a lot of nutrition, which America was going to need. After starting the stew he began making some tea. He figured black with a natural sweetener would make it easier for America to be able to drink. Without gagging and saying it's disgusting that is. While he was waiting for the food and the tea to be done England went back to his thoughts, wondering what would have provoked America to lie to him about not wanting to have sex with him yet. The only reason he could come up with was the boy's pride. He could understand pride, but it hurt that America felt he had to lie to him about not being ready to have sex. 'Well if that's the way he feels then I just won't touch him…or kiss him for that matter.' England thought, he knew it'd be hard but if his America wasn't ready then he wasn't going to force him.
"Hey Britain! Is your nasty food done yet?" sounds like he's back to normal England thought as he stirred the stew.
"It's not nasty you git! And at least it's good for you!" England retorted. He grabbed two bowls and two spoons, and after filling both of the bowls he brought them to the dining room. "And yes it's ready. It's on the table in the dining room." He called again. England then returned to the kitchen to grab the tea then returned to the dining room to find America seating himself at the end of the table.
"Need any help?" England asked politely setting a cup of tea in front of America.
"No. I got it. I'm not cripple." America said in an irritated tone.
"Excuse me for being polite and asking." England snapped back. America said nothing after that, just glaring at his food. Seeing he wasn't going to say anything England decided to ask the question that had been on his mind. "So are you going to tell me why you lied to me?" America froze mid bite, his face paling a bit.
"I, I have no idea what your talkin' bout dude."
"America will you stop with the lying? I know you lied earlier when you told me about your ribs. I could feel you tense up little by little when we were kissing the further we went. I know you're just using it as an excuse to not sleep with me." America flinched at having his bluff called.
"W-what?"
"What I don't understand is why you felt you had to lie to me. I would have understood if you'd have just told me that you weren't ready to have sex with me yet. Lying about it just makes it hurt. It makes me feel like you don't trust me."
"I do trust you!"
"Then why lie to me?" America hesitated.
"Because…because I've never done it before and… I never thought I'd say this but…I'm scared. I know the first time you do it with a guy it's 'sposed to hurt like hell so…" England looked at America. That was what he was afraid of? The pain?
"America…"
"Don't laugh! You tell anyone I'll deny it!"
"I won't tell anyone, and I wasn't laughing I'm just…amazed" America raised an eyebrow in confusion.
"Amazed?"
"Amazed that you can still be so cute after all this time." America's face turned seven shades of red.
"What? Cute?"
"Very. But that's really all you were worried about? The pain?" America looked away.
"Y-yeah…" England got out of his chair and walked over to America and grabbed his hand, dragging him away from the table. "B-Britain? W-What are you doing?" England never looked back.
"What do you think we're doing?" America blanched.
"B-But Britain, dude you can't be serious!" England opened the door to his room shutting it behind America before pinning the nation to it
"Very serious love." England crushed his lips against America's sucking and nipping his bottom lip making the American gasp, giving the island nation the opportunity to thrust his tongue into his mouth. America had no clue what to do. He'd never known England to act like this. And he had no excuse to not have sex with England now that he knew the truth. But America couldn't help but moan when England began to feel him up and down, groping his ass along the way.
"Getting into the mood yet love?" England whispered, his heavily accented voice lined with lust. It turned America on all the more.
"M-maybe…AHH!" America moaned against England's lips when said nation ground their hips together
"How about now? Mmmm hearing you moan is like music to my ears, to think I'd been able to resist making you moan for me all this time is a miracle all its own."
"E-England…!" America couldn't believe this was happening. England really wanted to have sex with him THIS badly? As if on cue England stood back a bit and removed his shirt, then took off America's own shirt, pausing to stare at the sight before him. America's nicely toned abdomen, only a small amount of fat on his sides. England's chest was slightly chubbier, but none the less appealing to America. England kissed America again, this time more passionate and pulling him from the door, backing himself up. This time America gave in to the passion, melting under England's touch. Suddenly he was shoved onto the bed, he looked up in time to see England strip his pants leaving him in only his boxers. America nearly drooled at the sight. All rational thought flying out the window.
"Now you poppet. I wanna see you, I wanna see every inch of that sexy body of yours before I take it and make it mine." America shivered, quickly doing as he was told. America never knew being ordered to strip could be such a turn on for him. Once his pants were gone and joining England's on the floor, the once great nation was upon him. Kissing, biting and sucking his neck before trailing down, ever so tenderly kissing his chest before meeting his lustful eyes. England's green eyes were suddenly full of worry and sadness.
"Maybe…maybe we should wait until you heal a bit more…" America's eyes widened. He looked at England's unsure face.
"No. I'll be fine. England just please…don't stop." That was All America needed to say before England had lost all his self-control. England's lips were crushed back against America's, his tongue roaming America's mouth as his hands roamed his body, making him moan into the kiss and arch into England's touch. America was drowning in pleasure, but he wanted England to feel what he felt. His mind made up he detached his hands from England's hair and trailed them down to England's crotch, grabbing England's erection through his boxers. England moaned, his hips bucked into America's hands. America was quick to strip England of his last article of clothing leaving the Island as naked as he was. While America had stopped for a moment to gaze at what he'd revealed England had switched their positions so he was level with America's cock and licked it from base to tip.
"Engla-England!" America moaned as England continued to lick and suck him off.
"Yes poppet? Is this what you want?" England asked, giving America's member another long lick before he took America fully into his mouth, sucking hard.
"Oh god, Arthur!" England moaned appreciatively at hearing his real name, his moan vibrated through America's cock sending shivers of pleasure through America. America couldn't remember ever feeling so damn good in his life; to the point his body was arching and bucking into England's mouth of its own accord. England's tongue was swirling around the underside of America's dick, teasing the tip with his tongue sliding under America's foreskin and just lapping up America's pre-cum. America was being reduced to a moaning mass of pure unadulterated pleasure. So America couldn't help but whimper when England detached his skillful mouth from his cock
"Did you enjoy that my little slut?" America nodded, his eyes at half-mast and filed with lust
"Y-yes!" England smirked. Just the looks that were etched on America's face were driving him crazy.
"Got any lotion?" America's brow furrowed, his lust slowly clearing itself from his mind.
"Bottom drawer. Why?" England didn't respond as he retrieved the lotion from said drawer. When he straightened he squirted a generous amount on his hand and rubbed it in before starting to prepare himself. America stared, wide eyed and blushing, unable to look away.
"Ahh, I'm…only going to bottom for you… this once-ahh, until…until your better. So, so enjoy it while it lasts." England panted, continuing to finger himself.
"Oh god, Artie that's hot." America leaned back, his eyes settling on England's crotch as he fingered his ass. England moaned. When England thought he was prepared enough he took his fingers out of his arse and coated his hand with more lotion and grabbed America's penis, catching America off guard and earning a gasp from him. "Ohhh Arthur!" America rasped, England stroking his hand up and down America's length, coating it with lotion. When England was satisfied he moved on top of America and leveled his entrance with America's hardened member. Now America was the one who was unsure.
"Are you sure? I-I mean, you know it'll hurt like-"
"America. I know. I've done this before. I'm not proud of it but I have." America opened his mouth to ask but before he could England rolled his hips and took America in him. America's eyes rolled back in his head and he moaned in pure pleasure. England gasped in both pain and pleasure. America was ecstatic with the feeling of England surrounding him; England was lost in the feeling of America, filling him to the brim, finally completing him.
"So tight… god Arthur!" America was dying to move, to just pound England into the bed with all his might, but England's face told him he had to wait. But everyone knew waiting was not his specialty. It took every ounce of his will power and focus not to have his way with England until England told him he could. And after what seemed like a lifetime to America England jerked his hips.
"M-move." America needed no further invitation, he started out slowly but that soon wasn't enough for his "temporary" uke once America had accidently hit England's prostate.
"Bloody hell! God, Ah, Alfred keep that up!" England screeched when that ball of nerves was hit again. America wasn't too sure what he'd done to make England feel so good but he knew if it made him cum faster, he was willing to damn well keep it up, hitting that spot dead on again, and again.
"AHH! Alfred! Oh god, harder!" America was happy to oblige, hearing those delicious moans England was making was driving him over the edge. America wanted to make England cum when he did. So America decided to play dirty. He reached between himself and England and started pumping his hand up and down England's cock. England rolled his hips, forcing himself to take in more and more of America. Their lips tangled sloppily, tongues fighting for dominance before America gave in when England slid his hand up from his ass, slowly bringing it between them feeling his chest then tweaking his nipples. England was so close to his release, and he wanted more. More pleasure, more of America pounding into him.
"Arthur! Oh god Arthur! I'm gonna-" America tried to warn before he came hard inside England. Just the feel of America's own release, America's semen coating his insides was not his favorite feeling, but it was all England needed to go over the edge himself. They both came with a scream of the other's name rolling of their lips, collapsing on one another onto the bed. When America's strength came back to him he willed himself to roll off of England and pull out of him but he never let go of his lover.
"Do…do your ribs hurt? I hope…I hope I wasn't too rough on you" America shook his head
"No. You were awesome." America said trying to look England dead in the face but England kept looking away in embarrassment, his face a beet red.
"I-I didn't ask how I was in bed…I asked if you were okay, I mean, do your ribs hurt you." America smirked.
"I know. And no, my ribs are fine babe." America held England closer to himself. He could feel England's heart racing as he did so.
"W-when did you start getting so bold? And don't call me 'babe' I'm not a bloody female!" America smirked
"When you decided you couldn't wait to fuck me. And I know damn well you're not a girl, and to be honest I'd pick you over one any day." England buried his face in America's chest.
"Don't say things like that! And…and next time…I'm on top!"