Disclaimer – I own nothing of Harry Potter. Everything belongs to the wonderful J.K. Rowling. I can say that I own the plot and that's it. 'Nuff said.
A/N: I got this idea while reading the list of 'What Not To Do at Hogwarts' and I found something that was absolutely hilarious – 'I will not put potion ingredients in reverse order to see what the results will be' – thought that James Potter (the first one) would do something as stupid as that.
Summary: AU: Takes place in the Maurder era. James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily are sitting in potions, along with the Slytherins, when James decides to put the potion ingredients in reverse order, resulting in nasty results. One-Shot. Rated T because I'm paranoid.
Genre: Humor
Rating: T
First years James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew and the rest of Gryffindor house headed to the dungeons to have their first lesson after lunch – Potions with Professor Slughorn. When the Gryffindor students got to the dungeons, they saw the first years of Slytherin house standing together.
"Well, well, well – if it isn't the Sluterins." Sirius taunted. Remus rolled his eyes and yanked Sirius into the dungeon where the Potions class was held.
"Sirius, mind your tongue if you don't want to be expelled." Remus warned. Sirius rolled his eyes and took the seat next to James, who had his eye on Lily Evans. She was a pretty witch – long red hair, green eyes and a lovely smile.
"Open your books to page 617 and read silently to yourselves while I mix up the rest of the potion." Slughorn told the class, stirring the potion in front of him. James pretended to read his book, but his eyes were on Lily, sitting two seats over, next to Sivellus Snape. Sivellus – whose real name was Severus – had his arm draped around Lily's shoulders, but she didn't seem to notice.
"Today, we will be making a Truth Potion." Slughorn told the students.
"But isn't that for seventh years?" a fellow Gryffindor asked.
"No – anyone can make a Truth Potion, if one pays close enough attention." Slughorn's voice raised with each syllable, for James was the only one not paying attention.
"Sorry, sir. Were you talking to me?" James asked.
"Yes, my boy." Slughorn answered then turned his attention to the rest of the class. "I will divide you into groups of two. Let's have Mr. Potter with Mr. Lupin. Next is…" after that, Slughorn's voice faded into the background.
When everyone had a partner, they went to sit with each other. Remus smiled as he sat next to James. Sirius and Peter were at the table behind them. James looked over and saw Lily with that greasy slime ball.
"You have from now until the end of class. The potion ingredients and instructions are on the board. Please follow them closely. You may begin!" Slughorn told the students.
"What does she see in him anyway?" James asked as he and Remus went to get their potion ingredients. Remus shrugged his shoulders and helped James carry the potion ingredients back to their table. James ignited his cauldron and read Remus' notes.
"One eye of newt." James read out loud, plopping the eyeball in the potion.
"What in the name of Merlin are you doing?" Remus hissed, seeing that the eye of newt was the last ingredient of the potion.
"Putting the ingredients in reverse order." James responded, reading the directions to himself.
"I don't think that's a very good idea." Remus said, his tone worried.
"Oh come on Remus – just because you get to be a you-know-what every full moon doesn't mean that James shouldn't have a little fun of his own." Sirius whispered over Remus' shoulder.
"Perhaps Slughorn won't notice." Peter whispered, receiving a stare from Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes and added some ingredients to the potion – it changed from a dark purple to a light lilac, which meant they were doing the potion correctly.
A half hour later, James added the first – er – last ingredient just as Slughorn made his way over. By now, the potion was supposed to be a lovely lilac color – James' was blood red.
"Potter, what did you do?" Slughorn asked.
"Followed instructions." James answered, pushing his black hair out of his face. Slughorn rolled his eyes and took a sip of the potion.
"TWENTY-FIVE POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" Slughorn bellowed.
"What? Why?" Remus and James answered in unison.
"For making the worst potion I have ever drank!" Slughorn exclaimed. James slumped in his seat, receiving stares from his fellow Gryffindors, including Lily, who just rolled her beautiful eyes and turned her attention away from him.
That night, James served detention with Slughorn. As he mixed the potion together, he added a truth serum while Slughorn's back was turned. Slughorn sighed and took a ladleful of James' potion.
"Much better, Potter." Slughorn told James, waving him away. James gathered his schoolbag and cauldron before leaving the room. He was almost out of the room when Slughorn called him back. James rolled his eyes and headed back to Slughorn's office.
"Yes?" James asked.
"You are a brilliant boy, you know that?" Slughorn said.
"I am?" James asked, taking a sip of the potion. He had made it himself, so he knew it wasn't dangerous. He felt the cool liquid run down his throat and let out a sigh of relief.
"I hope you'll be in my honors potions class next semester." Slughorn said. James nodded and, seeing there were no other instructions from Slughorn, headed out of the room and back to the Gryffindor common room.
"What did Slughorn want?" Sirius asked, not looking up from the game of Wizard's Chess he was playing with Remus.
"He wants me to be in his honors potions class next semester." James answered, watching his friends play chess. "You guys aren't very good at the game."
"James, that's rather rude." Remus said, not looking up from the game.
"Seriously, my cat can play a better game than you two monkeys." James blurted, cupping a hand over his mouth. Sirius got up and drew out his wand, the end on James' throat.
"Take it back." Sirius growled.
"Your breath smells like feet." James said. Sirius growled, removing his wand from James' throat.
"James, Sirius – that's enough." Remus told the two boys, stepping between them so that they wouldn't kill each other. James stormed off to the boys' dormitories and sat upon his bed, drawing the curtains around it. He heard someone enter the room and go to the bed in the far corner.
Sirius and James didn't speak to each other for an entire week. Remus hoped that their friendship wouldn't affect their future.
"Sirius, I'm sorry about the things I said." James apologized.
"I forgive you – I'm happy we're friends." Sirius told James, hugging him. James smiled and hugged Sirius back, happy to have his friend back in his life.