Ever since we got back from the war with Gaea everyone treated us differently. Not just Percy and me, but the other members of the
prophecy too. Even Chiron, who's trained thousands of demigods who have completed a multitude of dangerous quests, seems to act like
we're a special case. It's been three weeks, and I'm still not used to the other campers staring at me, and not getting too close to me, and
not knowing how to joke around with me anymore. It's sometimes nice. Because the memories still haunt me; they're right there every
time my eyelids close. Blink, I'm facing Arachne, blink, Percy and I are falling into Tartarus, blink, I'm watching Leo, Jason, and Percy on
the brink of death at Gaea's hands. I still haven't recovered. I don't know if I will ever recover. Although it practically kills me to see him in
pain, I'm somewhat thankful that Percy is going through everything I am. I don't want him to hurt, but it's nice to have someone who
understands what I need right now, even when I don't even know what I need. I haven't really left his side since the battle ended. You
can only think you lost the person who means the most to you in the world so many times before you need to constantly be reassured of
their vitality. It works out though, because he feels the same way. Whenever I'm with him, which is most of the time, he's holding my
hand, or has his hand on my back, or is playing with my hair. We need the constant reassurance that we made it, together, and that we're
both still breathing and living. I haven't spent a night alone since the day we closed the Doors of Death. I bet when my mom gave me my
Invisibility Cap she had no idea it would allow me to sneak over to my boyfriend's cabin every night after curfew. It's not like we're doing
anything though (most the time), we just need to be with each other. Percy helps keep my nightmares away, and on the nights he can't,
he's there to hold me afterwards and I can touch him and know that he's really alive, that I'm alive, and we're actually back at camp.
11:00 is lights out in all the cabins, and my siblings in the Athena cabin are all falling asleep amongst their books and blueprints. However,
I'm wide-awake. I wonder if I'll ever be able to fall asleep without Percy's presence again. We've faced too much together, almost died too
many times between the two of us for us not to have an unnatural bond. The time between the campfire and lights out is always the
longest time of the day for me. It's just an immeasurable time of waiting until I can be with Percy again. It's also the time that I most
often have panic attacks. Tonight, thankfully, my memories didn't consume me to the point of causing me to break down. I hate how
weak having attacks makes me, but I'm coming to accept that I can't control every part of my brain. As soon as my internal clock's told
me an hour has passed since lights out, I put on my Yankees cap and escape through an open window. In less than a minute I'm opening
up the door to the Poseidon cabin and I can finally breathe more freely. Percy looks up from where he's sitting on the edge of the bed with
his head in his hands, and just stares in my general direction. There's not quite a smile on his face, but every day, it comes closer to his
genuine, mischievous smile that I fell in love with so many years ago. I shut and lock the door and take off my cap, and before I can blink,
Percy's arms are around me, and I'm home.