I was always the strange girl, the odd girl. To go to school and see ghosts is not the recipe for making friends. To lose your mother at such a tender age and live with a crazy father and a brother forever frowning…. This recipe is not to raise a girl…. So do not blame me for being crazy.
The truth is that I was expecting a change; ok I was expecting a change that truly would change my life.
I mean, come on, I found out that my brother became a Soul Reaper, and that my annoying father is also a Soul reaper. I learned about hallows, Soul Society, it's renowned captains and last but not least my ticket out of this boring and unsatisfying existence, the academy that would make me a soul reaper. Finally the gates of my world where opening; I could finally go to a place where I fell like belonging, where I was no more another odd girl.
But no! No!
Why?
Because I have a simply annoying but caring father and also an irritating hero brother, who thinks that world is far too dangerous for little me. My gates were closed, the universe fell on me….and while my brother is a living legend and my father an ex-legend, and I am a nothing….
I am just Karin Kurosaki and nobody cares!
What could I do? The answer is pretty pathetic. I let five years pass ignoring all things related to spirits.
I am 18 years old, and right now I do what I did since I can remember. Well, I am playing soccer, of course with those four guys, Ryohei Toba, Heita Toujoin, Kei Uehara, and Kazuya Usaka. And we are kicking ass.
Ryohei Toba got the ball and he is going to pass it to me. He smiles and the ball is mine.
Goalkeeper strain and is preparing to stop me, but there is no chance in hell to stop my shot, especially when I am angry.
One move and we won, again no challenge.
The goalkeeper threw his cap to the ground and began to spread fine words.
I felt good for a small and sad second. The sun was pleasant while a gentle and refreshing breeze moves the grass. A perfect and unimportant day…..
After that, like in any normal day after a victory, we crashed on the rivers shore covered in tall grass.
"Oh guys, this is the life!"
I exclaimed with great pleasure enjoying the cold juice.
They smiled but they could not fool me, it was obvious that they wanted to talk about something serious. And when these guys want to talk about something serious is clearly the end of the world as we know it.
"Did I miss something? What's with you guys? We won, right? Be happy, scream your joy out"
Ryohei Toba, raised his head. He looked at me with a serious face. He is now standing up with the sun behind him.
How did I not notice how much he has changed? I mean, would you look at him…. A man. A grown man, almost beauti…..
Who care about anything at all, things here are insignificant, small, and tender, I have nothing to do but to get lost in a sea of unimportant things. Who still cares about other dreams, I just want this life to pass. But still when he became so tall, how come I have not seen how that goofy and silly haircut had become so spiky and rebellious.
Come on Karin he's just Ryohei Toba.
The boys were determined to convince Karin to play in the professional football league. But lately the girl does not seem to care about nothing any more. They realized that they had an age, 18 years, and no longer are they likening to play football in the streets like children.
It was time for a change everyone could see it except Karin. Or rather everyone could accept that except Karin.
In her mind nothing was important any more.
The boys looked at her with the admiration of a lifetime, an admiration that in time become love. The strange light in their eyes was noticed by girl with short black hair.
But, for her, their glances were shocking, incomprehensible, unexpected. After all they were them. Those silly boys…
"Karin, listen jus for a fucking minute! At my house is a whole stack of letters. Every team, Karin, and we speaking of champions, real champions, they all want us! We are good. We are really good and they are begging us. So tell me why are we here on the streets?"
For Karin the discussion leads nowhere.
"That's enough. I'm the captain here."
Toba knit his brows with an explosive anger.
"Then be a fucking captain! All you do is to feel sorry for yourself!
Sad but it was true.
"What is with you today? You want fame? Luster? Renown? You think you are good enough? Do you think that they will lift you to glory? Be serious."
He was right and she knew that.
"Then let's establish our own new team. Together we can build something great, and you know that Karin!"
In her mind was a mess, and a true rebellion was restrained not to explode. She was sick of everything, but all the people around her, family and friends where asking her to get involved in all kinds of important stuffs. Why can they not understand she wanted to be left behind by all? She wanted to be forgotten…. to blend in mediocrity…
"We're beginners for them, for everyone. And I guess they are right… We are a handful of people, young people without money and totally unimportant. What can we do? "
The words about soccer in her angry and trembling voice had a hidden meaning, one they can not understand.
"Anything, we can do anything."
His voice resound arrogant and proud, showing that he believes completely in those words. The others have smiled, because they felt the same thing: they where good.
"Come on, Karin, Cheer up!"
Kazuya's attempt was completely ignored.
"Who are you? Where is Karin? Where is my captain?"
"Come on Toba, calm down man"
Heitor attempt was also ignored
"No, because I'm tired of seeing that dead look on her face.
"If you want, just go. You can leave, all of you."
"Karin!"
Her words stabbed them like a knife. They felt defeated, unable to help their loved one, and completely useless.
"Not until I get you out of that hole where you have fallen. You are our captain. "
Toba's eyes glow with power in her direction …but he was beyond scared.
"If you're so tough, here then, you be the captain. I do not care anymore. "
Those were the last words….
"But Karin, he can not accept, none of us can accept. You are our captain. Right Toba?"
He did not respond. Inserting his hands in his pockets he turned with his back to the rest and said:
"I'm leaving. See ya"
"But Toba we are a team. Karin, say something to him!
Heitor voice was whiny and begging. Tobe was leaving, and to his mind, after such a discussion….one that seemed to be a sure end of their team.
"I do not care" said Karin.
The fight with the gang did not worry her a bit. She was trying to forget and ignore everything that was human. So she was dragging her feet home.
Close to home the mailman stopped near Karin, to give her the correspondence.
"Look at you young Kurosaki, Your father must be proud of that young man you will end up be."
"I'm not a boy!"
The mailman looked surprised as if the nervous girl just said something impossible. Only a few steps and she heard another voice meant to annoy her.
"Kai, good morning, Oh that Ichigo! That boy has nothing in his head, to disappear for days from home. But you young man, when you're going to be a man, please take care of your father and of that one and only girl in this family, that sweet Yuzu."
"AA my name is Karin, because I'm a faking girl !"
The day could not become worse for Kurosaki Karin, the girl who gave up everything. But she entered the house, her home….
"My baby cactus, I am afraid you are too late for your dear sister cooked meal."
"You pig, did you eat it all?"
Her father spinning on heels stopped in front of her. His goofy face smile from ear to ear.
"Who dared to annoy my boyish girl?"
Ichigo was looking bored at them, while Yuzu was smiling with her eyes closed.
"God! Everyone please stop associating me with a boy!"
From her father an extremely serious look meant: run Karin! Run! Run!
"Again? Who?"
"Does it matter? As a responsible father you should ask: Are you okay my daughter? What the hell? Who? What sort of question is that? Nut."
"It is simple. The milk man, the mailman, everyone…."
As simple as that, her own brother was laughing at her. He destroyed her dreams, created a drama inside her, and now he, he is making a comedy around her, on her..
Even so she did not hate him. She just stopped caring.
"Shut up"
This made him laugh even harder.
"It is not my fault you look like a guy."
"Ichigo, you know very well that to remind your sister that she looks like a boy makes her angry and sad. "
Yuzu never meant to hurt Karin, but in her naivety she hurt her more than anyone. She really looks like a boy, there was no point in continuing to deny it. But what can she do?
"Even Yuzu thinks that!"
Karin almost felt that she was going to cry. But no crying for her, she must not cry. She is strong…so what if she was looking like a guy? Who cares?
"My daughter, if you are trapped in this female body, you should know one thing. Your father will support you if you want to do a sex change. I'll be there at all times, holding your hand. And after I will teach all you need to know to….."
""
Karin screamed hysterically. Karin screamed in anger. Karin screamed in torment. Karin screamed instead of crying. And the whole town heard her pain, or at least her voice. After the roar she went up the stairs leaving a total silence behind.
"Dad, do you not think you might have exaggerated?"
In her room, in a large mirror she was shaking. Short black hair cut in a boyish haircut, a large shirt, long, and gray, two black eyes full of tears, that was her, Karin Kurosaki.
She got up from the floor and throws herself in a hammock linked in two nails stuck in the wall, just above her bed. She could no longer cry.
"I want to die."
"Karin, are you ok?"
She looked down, Rukia, her best friend (for some time now) was examining her with concern.
"Fine. But, I hate my life"
"I am listening. You know that you can tell me anything."
She had always trusted Rukia and never had retentions towards her, and today was no exception.
"Are waiting for your Ichigo? You just missed him, We just had a daily fight and he left through the door as always."
The smile disappeared from her tiny face.
"But we agreed to meet for a mission now."
Karin knew why he had left, and especially where he had left. But she could not tell Rukia, her only friend, that the man that she loves is cheating on her, whit Orihime Inoue. She knew that she would completely break her heart.
"Hey Rukia, let's play a game. I ask questions you answer short, yes or no. Until Icigo returns? Deal?"
"OK, Karin, but you know that you act a little freak today, yes? Ok, ask me."
"Do you like Ichigo?"
"Yes."
"Do you love him?"
"Yes" she answered with a gentle smile.
"Will you beat him up if he was with another girl?"
"You know I will. You're joking right?"
"How bad? I mean…ah, never mind. Rukia, can I ask you something else?"
Karin stops looking at her brother coming towards them with tousled hair, with limped clothes. Shocked he stopped remembering of his meeting with Rukia.
Watching the two girls his facial expression had changed into a strange expression. One filled with hatred and disgust.
"Ichigo, where have you been? Asshole, how could you forget that we were going to meet today?
As usual Rukia wanted to slug him, but she stopped. His facial expressions made her freeze. She felt that something is wrong.
"Ichigo, what is it?"
Her voice trembled in emotions.
Karin jump off the hammock, slipped between the two, looking at Ichigo with a piercing look.
"Brother, what are you doing?"
She wanted desperately to protect her friend
"Rukia, it might be better for us to break up."
Ichigo's silence had made Rukia stick to his clothes collar. She loved him so much; she could not understand how he could say such a thing so suddenly.
"What?"
"Is quite obvious that you like Karin, so you should stop pretending and be with her. Both of disgusted me."
Karin was stunned, while Rukia was completely lost in despair.
"Ichigo, are you crazy? Karin is my best friend; she is your sister, and a girl.
Rukia's voice slowly faded away. The man who she loves was accusing her of cheating with his sister…. It was true that they use to talk and laugh for days, but they were just good friends, nothing more.
"You disgusting pig. Rukia loves only you. How dare to accuse her of such a thing, when you cheat on her every single day with Orihime? None of us is…."
"I say only what I see… Karin I do not care about you even if you die. Look at you!"
Karin pushed him with hatred and run through the door. Lifting her eyes from the floor, Rukia threw him a cold gaze.
"How can you say such a thing to her? She is your sister! So you'd better go after her."
"Never"
Rukia's slap resounded in the room, leaving Ichigo a red cheek.
I ranas fast asI could. I did not knowwhat I want anymore, I just ran. Ilooklike a boy, myfriendshateme, myfamilydetestsme, mydreamsareshattered and I feel soweak.
"Can no longer ... I want to die."
Speaking of death, only then Karin noticed where she was, on the edge of river in the same place where her mother had died. The wind began blowing and the grass moving noisy, making a scary and dramatic sound.
On one of the blocks viewed by the sea, a guy in a cape was contemplating her. Smiling and pushing the sword with one finger he draws his sword and rushed towards her.
Karin had not time even to turn and the sword was already piercing her body. Looking how her blood flows from her own body, she collapsed.
With her last powers she was looking at the shoes worn by the one who just killed her.
Her vision was blurring, and the pain was making her sleep.
Stupid father if only you would havelet melearn tobe asoul reaper….