Title: Alice Invictus
Penname: The Metallic Firefly
Pairing: Slight AlicexJasper
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I own no rights to the Twilight series or any of the characters, nor do I claim to.
Summary: "She is ill. She has demonic visions and fantasies. She is… she is mentally insane." Alice did have a human life, even if she does not remember it. Title translates into: Alice Unconquered.
An inhumanly beautiful girl stood in a corridor. Her amber eyes shone brightly as the stars in the sky. She was confused, that much was certain. She did ot know where she was or how she got there. Nothing was clear. All she could remember was darkness, surrounding her like a child holds its blanket. And she was scared, but of what? One moment she was standing, looking puzzled, and the next she was gone.
"Alice? Alice? Mary Alice Brandon!"
I was called back from what seemed like another world by the shouts of my sister.
"I apologize Cynthia, I was having another vision."
She shook her head. "Another vision? Oh Alice, not again!" Cynthia was the only person I trusted enough to tell about what I saw. Everyone would believe me to be mad.
Well, in truth, I suspect Cynthia did think I was mad. But she swore to the Lord that she would never tell anyone. My mother and father raised both of us to take God and swears very seriously, so I knew she would never betray my trust in her.
Cynthia gently grabbed my shoulders and made me look her straight in the eye. "Alice, these so-called 'visions' are nothing but dreams. I fear you deluding into illness. Maybe we should just tell the reverend, get him to renew your faith…"
"No!" I nearly screamed. "Cyn, you promised to me that you would never tell anyone. You swore to God!"
Her face became full of pity and worry. "Oh I know dear, but they are not right, these fantasies! Please, just undo my vow. We came tell Mother and Father and they will not worry about you anymore!" Cynthia stared deeply into my sapphire eyes. "They are scared, Alice. They do not know to make of you anymore. No one does. You are but sixteen years of age, and yet you act more mature then most adults."
There a silence. I did not know what to say or do. I was well aware of the fact the Mother and Father were worried, but were they really scared for me? Was everyone scared for me?
Cynthia spoke softly. "You are ill, sister. You need help. They are people who can help you. Let them."
I shook my head. "I cannot. You know where they would take me."
That shut her up. The Blackyard Mental Institution was not far from town. Everyone knew of it. The last person who went there was a sweet young girl named Penelope. She started talking of a demon that lived inside the town. Some people came and took her to a "better place".
No one has heard from Penelope since. That was five years ago.
We all knew where she had gone.
"Please, Cyn. Please." I whispered. She hugged me fiercely.
"Alright. I will keep my promise." I squeezed her tighter. "But at least, try to control your visions. For my sake."
"Oh I will!" I nodded and ran off into the house.
My mother was there, waiting for me. "Mary! Where have you been?" You see, Cynthia was the only one who called me Alice, sort of an affection, though it was my middle name. Everyone else called me Mary.
I preferred Alice.
"Oh, just taking a walk with dear Cynthia." I said sweetly. It was not a lie.
Mother beamed. "Good, you kept your dress intact. Now come along dear, we must run a few errands before your father comes home."
I faked a smile and walked along with her. But not for the first time, I got the feeling that she just wanted to show me off. As if I was a prize medal around her neck. Many a time, I felt that Father and her took me all around town just to say, "Look at my daughter! Is she not a beauty? And you do know she is not married yet?" They both desperately wanted to marry me off. I was sixteen, and I had never even been courted.
It was not as though I was ugly. I had straight, dark brown hair that fell down my back, a willowy petite figure, and lovely sapphire eyes. I was quite a catch, according to my mother.
And something came over me. The world around me faded into another vision. Like I had promised Cynthia, I tried to stop it, but it came.
Darkness. The dark was everywhere. Nothing could be seen. Nothing could be heard. And yet, there was the feeling that someone was watching, someone was waiting. A predator waiting to hunt its pray…
"Mary! MARY!" Again, voices called me down to earth. I was on the ground, shivering. My mother and maids were frantically yelling and rushing to get water.
"He's coming." I whispered. "Do not let him get me. DO NOT LET HIM GET ME!"
"She is delusional!"
"Call the doctor!"
"Call the reverend!"
The last thing I remembered before fainting was a voice saying: "She is ill. She has demonic visions and fantasies. She is… she is mentally insane."
I woke up to silence. But I believed I had not awakened, for all was dark. I blinked several times, but nothing changed.
My hands reached up to touch my face, to make sure it was still there. To make I was still there. I felt skin and bone, so I felt reassured. I ran a hand through my hair, but it stopped far too soon. I brushed through it again and again, but each time it ended spiky and short. A pixie cut.
I thought about what had happened as I lay in the blackness. Black… Blackyard. I was in the Blackyard Mental Institution. That much was quite obvious. But why? How? No one should have known…
Unless someone told them.
Cynthia had betrayed me. She had sent me here. I was never going to leave. My life was over. I was here to stay. Forever in the dark.
A poem that I had memorized in a lesson rang in my head. I whispered it out loud, to conquer the silence.
"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. "
I have lost all track of time. I do not anything anymore. Every day, I want to just cry myself to eternal slumber. But I do not. I will not show weakness. I keep holding on to whatever shard of sanity I have left.
My visions are getting worse. All I see now is complete dark, but in the dark, there is a pair of crimson eyes. They are laughing at me. They come closer. They are the predator. I am the prey.
I fear I am becoming what everyone thought I was in the first place: mad.
I am becoming insane. I believe it has been years now. I know nothing but of the dark. Only the poem Invictus keeps me from giving in.
I am being watched. I know it. I feel eyes on me. Sometimes the eyes feel caring and loving, and sometimes the eyes feel stalking and murderous.
I am still unconquered. For now, at least.
Pain. That is all I know right now. I am on fire. I am burning. Someone is screaming, but the scream is more like an animal.
And then I realize the screamer is me.
I cannot breathe. I cannot move. All I know is that, well, I think something has bit me. Then, would it be venom in my veins?
I forget all about that as I burn away into ash. Into nothing.
My eyes opened and then shut immediately. Light had blinded me…
But then in confusion, my eyes peeked open tad bit. Brightness streamed into them. But I could see.
It was strange. All I could remember was being in the dark. Alone. Afraid…
I was outside, basking in sunlight. I looked around, amazed. And then I saw my hand. It was sparkling.
I glanced down. Every inch of my skin that was touched by the sun was sparkling. I got up, but it was inhumanly quick. I ran over to where I heard a river from about a mile away.
I stared at my reflection. Blood red eyes looked back at me. I saw short spiky hair. I was… beautiful. If that was me.
I, I was a demon. A monster. A horrible creature.
And then everything faded around me and I begin to see another world.
A gorgeous pixie-like girl stood in a bar. She was waiting impatiently. When would he be here? He was already late, and she had not even met him. She glanced around the room once more, sighing, when the door opened. A handsome blonde red-eyed man stepped inside. It was him!
She ran over to him. "I've been expecting you."
He tipped his hat at her. "My apologies ma'am" He said in a deep Texas-accent. "My name is Jasper."
She grinned and linked her arm with his. "Oh, I know."
I was so confused afterwards. What was that? A vision?
Something in me screamed 'Yes! It was!'
And if Jasper was real, then he was like me. I was not the only demon here.
So I attempted some guess work. So if I was the girl in the vision (well, I guess it was a vision,) I needed to go to the bar. Yes, I had to go to the bar to wait for Jasper. I smiled, something that felt strange, as though I had not attempted smiling in a while. That Jasper was cute. I liked him.
A thirst rose up in my throat, but I ignored it. If I was going to meet Jasper, what was I going to tell him?
For a moment, something flashed in my mind. A memory perhaps? Two words framed in my head.
Alice. Invictus.
What? Was Alice… my name? I turned back to the water and my reflection. I looked like an Alice. So that was it then. I was Alice. But what of Invictus?
I decided to let that one go for now. Some instinct in me was telling me if I was going to see Jasper, I had to leave now.
So I, Alice Something, the demon with red eyes, set out to see if a mere vision could come true. It seemed silly, but I had confidence somehow.
And in my head a voice whispered, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
So, how was it? I worked hard on it, so I hope it's good! It's challenging writing about a different Alice! XOX Katherine