I don't own any of the characters of Black Lagoon outside of my OCs Teach and Gina


"Well, don't we look like shit. You are like an empty shell of the person you used to be, you make me sick. Like you are in place bordering earth and hell. Heh, heh, heh, god isn't here for you now. Maybe he would be if you didn't skip church on Sunday. But the girl in the pretty pink dress gave you a wink, you just had to go for it right? Wrong, she winked at the guy next to you. Because your dumbass is always fucking around, you got passed up for a promotion at the dead end job your working at. Maybe you shouldn't have brought the new condo trying to show off for the sex partners you bring home that are too drunk to even remember your name. Now you don't have a home because you can't pay rent. Oh, but you could always become a rock star right? That was your dream wasn't it? The only reason you worked at that shitty job was to get start up funds for your band. But you stopped taking guitar lessons after the first week. Now you're stealing food. And with nowhere else to go, you come to me wanting to come with me? Sure, this is your family now. Not that your actual family gives a flying fuck anyways. Call me Teach, I'm your new captain. Welcome to hell."

It's another hot day in this hell hole called Roanapur. I will never understand why the master wanted to retire here. This place is crawling with vermin. Could have at least retired to somewhere cool like New York, Los Angeles, London, Beijing, Madrid, or at least someplace where I don't have to worry about the mafia, triad, and cartel being at in the same place at the same time. At least he put down his sword, gun, and dropped his flags. That's what really matters.

"Hey baby, why don't drop those bags and sit down next to me." Some asshole who obviously had too much to drink at the Yellow Flag said.

He stumbles towards me, I trip him and he falls flat on his face. Who gets drunk this early in the morning? Maybe the question is who doesn't get drunk his early when it comes to the people of Roanapur. I should hurry home, he gets mad when I'm not home before he wakes up.

"Sir, I'm home." I call out when I open the office door.

"Hello, welcome back." Someone who doesn't sound like Teach answered me.

I out the bags down calmly, then I reach for my gun. I turn and point my gun at my least favorite nun from the Rip-Off Church, Eda. Who already has a gun pointed at me.

"Let's not make too much noise now." Eda said to me with a smile. "I hear the man in charge doesn't like to be woken up this early in the morning. I hear it puts him in a murderous mood. And we can't have that, can we?"

I hate her smug attitude. It doesn't help that she has on those hot pink sunglasses. I hate her stupid face. But she's right. I can't wake him up.

"I can see why Revy barely puts up with you." I said lowering my gun.

"My relationship with her is complex, but we have an understanding." Eda said. "Sure, there has been times when i felt like she could use a bullet where the sun doesn't shine. but she's my friend. And the Lagoon company honor's the agreements. But I'm more concerned with the stuff."

"What stuff?" I ask.

What I really don't like about Eda is that she always knows more than she let's on.

"Come on, one of the world's most wanted men retires to Roanapur to open up a small office to where people come to talk about their problems?" Eda said holding back a laugh. "Let's get real here. Now rumors have been going around there the little devil went on trips to learn how to make medicines before came here, since he isn't here, I'll ask you. Is that true?"

I don't respond.

"Playing hard to get, huh?" Eda said. "You were his first mate, his second in command, and the only member of his old crew that he took with him here. Why is that? Could be that you…."

"Shut up." I yelled. "Okay, it's true. We went to countries and learned how to make medicines. Now why are you really here?"

"I heard about a medicine called Soma." Eda said. "Something you could grow in your backyard. Now, here's the crazy shit about it. It's like weed, painkillers, Novocaine, and meth all rolled into one. With its hallucinogentic, and numbing effects make it easier for people to operate on people as well as ease their bodies from nagging pains. But the meth part makes it addictive. Like your body will ache for more. Even if you're not sick."

"What's your point?" I asked reaching for my gun.

"I think you know." Eda said.

"No, I don't." I said getting closer.

"Fine then, I'll spell it out for you." Eda said. "The last person to make the stuff on record was Dr. Genan Shuang of Mongolia. But he was killed along with his assistant and his young daughter by the Government after he was revealed that he wanted to ship Soma through the black market. His fields were burned, but this recipes were never found."

"You're trying my patience bitch, what is the point?" I said.

She held up a picture. In the picture is Teach with Dr. Genan.

"He was with him before he died." Eda said already with her gun at me. "I know you have the recipes. For Soma, and god knows what us. Where is it?"

The sound of a shotgun firing catches us both off guard. Out from the shadows comes Teach. And he doesn't look too happy.

"Eda, I think it's about time you leave." He said. "Tell the Sister Yolanda that the shipment will come on schedule."

"Okay, tell your house pet she should learn better manners." Eda said getting up.

"I will discipline her as I see fit." He said. "Now get the hell out. I have an appointment soon and I would like to get some cereal time before that."

Fine, I'm going." Eda said moving out the door.

Eda walked out the door. Teach went to the kitchen. I fixed up the office. Hiding the guns, putting a stack of newspapers on the table, changed into my outfit for the day. I went to the kitchen and watched Teach eat his cereal. He looks so upset.

"Umm, sir?" I mumble.

"Spit it out, Gina." He said in between bites. "It must be important if you feel the need to interuppt me, mid cereal. So what's on your mind?"

"Do you miss them?" I ask.

"Who?" He said.

"The crew." I said.

"Sometimes." He answered. "Looking back on it, you guys caught me at a weird time in my life. I always called my crew empty shells of their former selves. But sometimes I feel like I was the most empty of us all. Yet you all followed me. But you're all better off without me."

"That's not true, sir." I told him. "We all needed you. You are strong. You are smart, cunning, capable, with an attitude that could compel us to jump off a cliff on your say so. And most importantly, you are free in every way we are not."

"What the fuck ever." He said. "Save the sentimental bullshit for someone who cares. And if I recall correctly, you were clinging to my knee, begging me to take you with me to Roanapur."

"It was your waist, not your knee." I corrected him.

"That would explain why my shirt was so moist." He said. "We can talk about this later, just let me finish my cereal in peace. That would be nice."

"Yes, sir." I said bowing before leaving.

"Oh, god dammit, they're all soggy now." I heard him yell.

I smile a little at his frustration.


After waiting for about ten minutes. Ten long, agonizing, minutes. I hear a knock on the door. I jump off the couch to answer the door. Funny, I'm never happy to answer the door. I must be bored. I open the door to see the last people I thought we make an appointment to see Teach, Shenhua, and Lotton.

"Young miss, allow myself to introduce...myself." Lotton saying going into his lame schtick. "I am Wizard, Lotton the Wizard."

"Shut the hell up." I said not wanting to hear anymore.

"We have an appointment." Shenhua said in her thick asian accent.

"Come on in." I said leading the way.

Walking up the stairs and down the hallway, I opened the door to Teach's office. Shenhua walked in and sat down. I don't see Lotton anywhere. Where the hell did he go? Suddenly, he comes in bursting through the window and standing on Teach's desk.

"What the fuck was that?" I scream as Teach and Shenhua remain unaffected by what just happened. "I opened the door for you. What was the point?"

"A cool entrance always matters, words to live by." Lotton said majestically.

"Don't worry man, you rocked it." Teach said. "Now sit down and let's talk."

Lotton got off the desk and sat down next to Shenhua.

"I just fixed that window." I yelled at Teach.

"Relax, just how he operates." Shenhua said still in her thick asian accent.

"Headaches." I scream as I close the door.

Sometimes he can be such a jackass. But this is my life now. We might not be taking we want, doing what we want, but this is nice. It's simple. And most importantly, I get to be with him. Through the good times and the bad. After all, that was the promise I made to him.


Another one-shot with Gina and Teach. I'm considering doing a multi chapter. Please review, tell me what you think. Fav it, follow it, but most importantly, thanks for reading it