Hey! this is my first fic and its a little spaztic, sorry! I hope you guys like it though.
Uses human names: Lili=Liechtenstein, Katyusha=Ukraine, and Belle=Belgium.
For the Gender-bends Francesca=France, Lovina=South Italy, Feli=North Italy, Amelia=America, Bao=China, Tina=Finland and Felicia=Poland. Translations are fairly straight-forward, but I'll put a list in at the end.
Warning: Overuse of the word awesome. Starts off from Gilberts point of view.
"… and that was one of the many times that the awesome me completely wasted that pussy Roderich." I finished telling my story (which was quite awesome if I say so myself) to my two friends, Francesca, a sharp tongued Frenchwoman with a little too much interest in romance for her own good, and Antonio, a carefree Spaniard that was kind of a pedo in my opinion because he was going out with a girl that he raised from a very young age.(Did I mention that he loves tomatoes, cause he does)
"Tres belle, mon ami!"
"Magnífico!"
"So Antonio, how are you and ta chere?"
"Lovi and I are muy bueno! Were meeting up later tonight to go to this pizzeria downtown she's been raving about for weeks."
"C'est bon. Gilbert, you're still single aren't you?"
"Look who's talking, miss can't hold down a boyfriend for more than a few dates."
"Nice try, mon cher, but I've been going steady with Arthur for over three months now. So are you single or not?"I knew when I saw the look in her eyes there would be no escaping this one, but I could try!
"Name someone as awesome as I, the mighty Gilbert Beilschmidt!"
"Don't change the sub…."
"Name someone!"
"I don't know"
"How about you Antonio?"
"Not off the top of my head."
"See, why would I date someone if I would just make them look un-awesome?"
"So you are single, and I'm pretty sure that 'un-awesome' is not a word."
"Not going to reply to that first part, and it doesn't matter whether it's a word or not because it got the point across and came from the mouth of the awesome me."
"So we have determined our poor friend is single, but does he have a crush?"
"Nein!" At the mention of a crush the albino flashed a light blush that he attempted to hide, to no avail.
"So there is someone you like." The enthusiastic Spaniard piped in, finally re-entering the conversation.
"In the name of l'amour, I will get you and ta chere together!"
"The awesome Gilbert does not need help."
"You obviously do if you are still single after so long." Truth be told, I had been single for over a year now. I'm not becoming a loser am I? Nein! His last relationship was just scarring, literally. A frying pan will do that to you. Damn that Elizaveta for ruining my perfect body!
"So who is it?"
"The awesome me doesn't need to tell you."
"Ok, are you free tomorrow Antonio?"
"Si, anytime."
"Then commence operation 'Help Gilly in the Name of L'amour'!"
"I don't need he-"
"Yes you do, even Gilbird over there agrees."The little chick on his head jumped around excitedly at the recognition. "Cheep Cheeep!" Well, if even Gilbird agrees… "Fine, Watever."
Francesca's POV
Ring… Ring… That damned Spaniard! He better pick up, this plan depends on both of us working together!
"Hola?"
"Finally, I thought you would never answer!"
"Sorry, I was asleep because it's kind of one o'clock in the morning."
"Sacre bleu! You have too much fun w/ Lovina after your date or something?"
"Sadly, no. I was just tired."
"This lack of gossip is killing me! Oh well, I was calling to tell you that we are going to steak-out Gilly tomorrow night from five to midnight."
"Okay, but can it be a tomato-out instead? Tomatoes are much tastier."
"Sure, whatever. Just meet me at Le Petit Café a few blocks over from Gilly's house by 4:30."
"Okay, Buenas Noches!"
"Good night."
I sat down my phone on my bedside table and began to brainstorm ideas about who Gilly might be crushing on… Well, it was definitely not Hungary or me, because not even he was a big enough douche bag to steal a girlfriend from someone else. That also eliminates Lovi, Feli, Tina, and Felicia because their all taken as well. That leaves Amelia, Belle, Bao, Natalia, Katyusha, and…..and….. I can't think of anyone else, so there is our list of possibilities! I will have to keep an eye on him when he is around these girls! "Ah shit, It's almost 3 in the morning! I better get to sleep."
Back to Gilly! =3
The next morning I woke up with an ominous feeling that today wouldn't be as awesome as usual. It was weird because the last time I felt like this I was about to go out onto the battlefield. Oh well, I wasn't going to war and I wasn't going to let a stupid feeling ruin a potentially awesome day! The day went by normally enough. I went grocery shopping since West wouldn't go anymore after a particularly bad experience while Antonio was working the checkout. While I was there I got plenty of wursts and beer, along with a couple of bags of pasta in case West brought Feli over. I then proceeded to make a mad dash for the checkout counter to make sure I was first in Antonio's line and, of course, I was. We exchanged greetings and I asked him if he wanted to hang out with the awesome me tonight, but he said he was busy and gave me a strange look kind of like he knew something about me. I shook it off and attributed it to him finally realizing just how awesome I was, which he probably was. Anyway, he finished ringing me up without saying another word and I paid and left. When I got home I called up Francesca to see if she was open but she was busy too. I didn't care either way, the awesome me didn't need my friends to have a good time on a Saturday night! I decided to go to the new club downtown, Atlas, which liked to boast that it was the most international club on the face of the Earth. I figured that was a direct invite to me, because how could you be truly international if you didn't have one of the few remaining full-blooded Prussians in attendance? Mein Gott did that make me sound old! Whatever, the awesome me would never be old! Not to mention I had heard that they had authentic German beer, which would definitely make the trip worthwhile if it was true.
I arrived at the club as soon as they opened and was let in almost instantly.(of course) I stood out amongst the other people in the club, as I had planned when I spent all afternoon figuring out what to wear. Virtually everyone there was dressed in their respective nationalities military uniforms because they decided to be un-awesome. The only person I could see not wearing a military uniform besides me was Amelia, this weird girl who claimed to be full blooded American I'm not sure how exactly that works, but whatever floats her boat. She was wearing an American flag tank-top with the letters USA written in bold red, white, and blue letter across the front, the bomber jacket she seemed to never take off, a pair of acid-wash skinny jeans and red, white and blue high-top Converse. Looking at her you would think that it was the fourth of July or something. The awesome me, on the other hand, was wearing a red bandana-scarf, a black t-shirt that said "Chick magnet" on the front attached to a screen-print magnet (and it wasn't only referring to Gilbird either.;), a pair of worn-out slightly baggy jeans that were my favorite because they were just that awesome, and my Prussian Eagle Vans. Man did I look awesome! She and I chatted for a little while about how lame everyone else was for wearing military uniforms to a hot new club until she suddenly remembered that she should go check on her little brother to make sure he was okay. Her little brother is Canadian. How does that work? I would have to ask her that next time I saw her. In any case, I made my way over to the bar to see if the beer was actually authentic German. And it was! This club is officially Gilbert approved, that should improve their rating. And so I sat enjoying my awesome beer and listening to Tik Tok blast through the speakers.
Francesca!
This whole stakeout (or tomato-out as Antonio liked to call it) had been a complete bust. Not only did they spend the first 4 hours sitting in the bushes underneath his window listening to him fret over what to wear and trailed him all the way into Atlas where all he did was make fun of everyone with Amelia for a few minutes and then start drinking like there was no tomorrow, Antonio had run out of tomatoes less than two hours in and proceeded to complain the rest of the time at regular 5 minute intervals. Sacre bleu! I was looking around to see who all was here when I spotted mon cher across the dance floor looking tres beau even in his military uniform. "Au revoir, mon ami, l'amour is calling!" I hated to leave poor Antonio alone, but it wasn't like anything was going to develop stakeout wise so I might as well have some fun! "Arthur, mon cher!"
Antonio
I merely watched as Francesca ran off to hang out with her boyfriend. Oh well. I was used to things not going my way. Except for going out with Lovi, which was awesome! (have I been hanging out with Gilbert to much lately?) It was too bad she couldn't be here, but she said she was busy lecturing her sister about why she shouldn't hang out with Ludwig, Gilbert's brother that he usually refers to as West. I felt bad for poor Feli. Pissing off Lovi was really scary…. Well, if she couldn't be here, I might as well continue on with the tomato-out. I watched Gil down his 5 glass in the last 20 minutes, wondering how he planned on getting home, when it happened.
Lili
"Bruder, why don't you ever let me go with you to clubs?"
"Because, you are too young to go to places like that."
"To young? I replied very indignantly. "I'm 16 bruder. I'm old enough to be able to go out and have some fun on a Saturday night! Not to mention you going to a club that is aimed for people my age…."
"But-"
"No buts!"
"Fine, but if anything happens to you I'm not letting you go out to 'have some fun on a Saturday night' again until your 18"
I ran over to him and gave him a hug. "Thank you, bruder!"
I love my bruder a lot, and I know he only wants the best for me, but he can be very overprotective sometimes. In any case, I was with him at Atlas, a new club downtown, having a great time! I was wearing my favorite pink dress and the ribbon bruder gave me after I cut my hair off so that I would look more like him. It must have worked because everyone thought I was a boy… As I recalled this memory I subconsciously reached up and patted my flat chest, wondering if I'd ever fill out. I hope so. I mean, if someone like bruder could show up out of nowhere and save me right before I died when I had already given up hope, then could still hope to get a little curvier. I came back to reality to find out that bruder wasn't with my anymore. Part of me said this was a great opportunity and that I should make the best of it, but the bigger part of me said I should go look for him because he's probably worried that I wasn't with him. While I was wandering around looking for bruder I saw a man at the bar who looked sad, or atleast as sad as you can look with red eyes. He was just sitting there staring at his beer as it might give him the answers to life itself. I decided that bruder could wait for a minute and went over to the bar to see if I could help him with his problems by talking to him about them. As I came over he looked up and I thought I saw his cheeks redden, but it was hard to tell with the lights being so dim.
"Is something worrying you, sir?"
"Please don't call me sir, it makes me sound old. You can call me Gilbert, or Your Awesomeness, if you would like." A devilish grin crossed his face.
"Okay, Gilbert, is something upsetting you?"
"No, I was just thinking about how my normally awesome friends decided to be lame today and not come with me to have some fun."
"Oh, so you're here alone? That's too bad. My brother brought me."
"Whose your brother?"
"Vash… Vash Zwingli"
"I know Vash! So you must be the sister he talks about all the time. What's your name again?"
"I'm sorry, did I not tell you? I'm Lili Zwingli."
"Lili, that's right. The awesome me remembers now."
"You use the word awesome a lot, do you realize that?"
"Yes, but it's the best way to describe me, don't ya think?"
When he said that last line a broad grin appeared on his face, making him look almost human. (It's really hard to look truly human with platinum hair and red eyes!) I noticed for the first time just how handsome he was. His sharp features which angry just as easily as happy, his slim, yet well built body, and the way his body carriage which appeared to get an invisible boost from his inflated ego and cocky arrogance. He must have noticed me staring because he decided to make a comment on it.
"Checking me out, engel?"
"Nein!" It was my turn to blush a bit.
"So you speak Deutsch?"
"Yes, it's my native tongue. I was born in Liechtenstein."
"I see. The awesome me speaks it as well for I am full-blooded Prussian."
"Didn't Prussia dissolve a long time ago?"
"We may no longer have our borders, but Prussia will never dissolve."
"See, you don't need to put the word 'awesome' into every sentence to make something sound cool."
"I guess you're right, but it does help."
"If you say so." I was beginning to believe that there was no hope for this guy.
"Do you have a phone that your bruder doesn't use?"
"Yeah, my cell phone. Why do you ask?"
"Because the awesome me thought you might want to exchange numbers so we could hang out again sometime." I blushed a deep shade of red, which only made his cocky grin wider.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think my bruder would approve of me giving my number out to some guy I met at a bar. Not to mention that he says I'm still too young to date."
"Why do you still let him brainwash and control you at your age?"
"He doesn't brainwashing or controlling me, he's just doing what's best for me to keep me safe. And I listen to him because he saved my life and I would hate to repay that with disrespect."
"Your loss." Mein Gott! Did he have an ego the size of the moon?
"If you say so. I'm going to look for my bruder, goodbye."
I found my bruder snacking on some pretzels at a table across the club. The pretzels were probably free if he was eating them because he hated to spend money on 'trivial things like that'.
"Where were you Lili? I was worried someone had taken you."
"Your such a worrywart, bruder."I tried to sound as playful as I could. "I just spaced out a little bit and then you were gone, so I came looking for you."
"Well please don't do that again."
"I won't bruder."
"Good."
We went home shortly after that because bruder said it was getting late. On the way home my thoughts kept trailing back to Gilbert. I hoped I hadn't hurt him too much when I rejected him and then yelled at him. Truth be told, the reason I had exploded like that was because he had confirmed something I already knew, even if only subconsciously. That was that I needed to convince bruder that I'm old enough to start making my own decisions and figure out who I want to be, not who he wants me to be. I decided then that I would have to give Gilbert a chance once I could convince bruder I was old enough.
Francesca yet again!
"No. No, no, no, no, NOOO! I-i-i-t can't be!" How could Gilly possibly be crushing on Lili? Was there even a possibility for them? I never even put her on my list!
"She's to innocent and nice and young and not who I ever saw Gilly crushing on…." My voice trailed off as I continued the useless attempt to convince myself that this was actually a possibility.
"Really?" Antonio piped in "I think it's adorable."
"Well you're also a pedo, so I'm not sure that opinion is valid." It didn't matter anyways. All this did was ensure that I would have yet another near-sleepless night trying to figure out how I was going to possibly make this relationship work. *sigh* Sacre bleu! What have I gotten myself into?
Did I do okay? I know some of the gender-bent names are weird, but I thought they fit a little better than the conventional names used. Particularly Francesca, because Francine just seems like an evil old lady in a nursing home and Amelia sounds more like a confident young woman than Avery. Sorry if it was confusing for anyone! Please review, I could use some feedback!=3
Translations:
French
Tres belle: Very beautiful
mon ami: My friend
Mon cher/Ma chere:My dear
Ta chere: your dear
l'amour: Love
Oui: yes
Sacre bleu!: Frustrated exclamation
Au revoir: Good bye
Spanish
Magnifico: Magnificent
Muy Bueno: very good
Buenas noches: good night
Si: yes
Hola: Hello
German
Deutsch: German
Nein: no
Bruder: Brother
Engel: angel