Random one shot, sorry for the sadness. based on the 12 stones song of the same name, hoping to make a vid for this fic later :) read and review please :)

Tell me not to go, I say inside, bottling up how I'm really feeling at the moment. She's just standing there watching me pack up; she's not even trying to stop me this time. After everything we'd been through she isn't even opening her pretty little mouth, for once Trish seems to have nothing to say.

I stuff the last of my t-shirts into the over sized suitcase before trying my hardest to get it closed, It's really over this time.

As much as I love Patricia, I hate her too. Just now watching her with the innocent look on her face, as if none of this is her fault, made me want to wring her neck. How can she act like she's done nothing wrong? Everyone thinks that Trish Stratus is an angel, a role model…some one to look up to. But she isn't, Patricia is nothing more then a scared little coward who doesn't have enough courage in her pinkie finger to live up to anyone's expectations of her character.

That's why I'm leaving, because she isn't brave enough to let anyone know that she's my girlfriend. Well, was my girlfriend…I'm tired of being a secret, I'm tired of her lying to me, and I'm even more tired of everyone believing she's some sort of super hero.

If Trish Stratus is so damn spectacular then why couldn't she face her own mother with the fact that she is in love with me, if she ever loved me at all.

This isn't the first time I've tried to leave, usually she stops me, pressing her velvet lips to mine and whispering to me that everything will be alright. She always promises that all the fighting and waiting will be worth it when we can finally be honest with everyone.

But it's just the same tired story, I know now that if I didn't get up the courage to go that I would be trapped in her clutches forever, forced back into the closest that I fought so hard to get out of.

I know it isn't an easy thing to do, crushing everyone's expectations, breaking your mothers heart…but I did it, why couldn't she? Of course it hurts and there are always consequences but really has anyone ever gotten something great without sacrifices? You loose people, you're a minority, and yeah there are some idiots in the world but the feeling of relief…the weight of your shoulders, the feeling of for the first time in your whole life being exactly who you are without hiding anything is completely worth it.

Everything I have I gave to Trish, my heart and my soul and it's like she doesn't even care. It's like everything is about her, everything she'd loose…I don't think she thought she could loose me. But here I am sitting on my suitcase trying my hardest to zip it up so I can go before this gets any harder.

Yet when I finally get it closed I can't find the strength to get up and go. It's like I'm frozen, just stuck there looking at her face. Her eyes find mine and I have to look away, she's finally showing emotion and it's killing me…the tears teetering out of the corners of her eyes.

There's nowhere to hide from her broken expression, but I can't be sucked in, I have to remain strong and do what should have done forever ago and leave her. "So I guess this is it." I say softly, breaking the silence that had been filling the room since I showed up here for my things.

"I guess so." She says shakily, pushing her palms to her eyes to stop the tears from pouring down her face.

Watching her cry reminds me of kissing the salty tears away so many times. Every time she would confide in me about her fears of loosing her family the same thing would happen, I can feel her head in my lap and my fingers in her hair trying to calm her yet reassuring her that telling them was the right thing to do.

I force myself to my feet and grab my bag, wheeling it towards the door. I can't think about our times together because this is all hard enough without the memories hanging over my head.

Reaching for the door I hear her voice waver, "Why are you doing this to me?" She asks, running a trembling hand through her blonde hair.

My body can't help but swing around, "Isn't that something you should be asking yourself?" I question, "Because to me it's pretty obvious, I'm fucking in love with you Patricia. I give everything I have to this relationship and it's like you can't give what we need to survive. I'm so sick and tired of hiding how I feel, not being able to kiss you good luck before a match, hold you when you loose. I'm fed up with being something your ashamed of, and don't say your not ashamed of me because you are, if you weren't you wouldn't be so damn scared of everything. Its worth it Trish, I'm worth it."

I stand there watching her and I know she knows I'm right, she can't give me the only thing I'm asking for. It's then that my heart feels that it's really over; I walk out the door feeling empty and for once, deep down inside I'm begging for her to lie to me.