The First Thing I See
Central Hospital
Central, 1914
Being blind was most certainly taking its toll on Roy Mustang. Seeing nothing all day but never-ending darkness wasn't easy, though he was trying his hardest to move past his disability. His other senses were already beginning to enhance themselves. His sense of hearing was keener, his sense of taste made even the bland hospital food taste better than it normally would, but it was his sense of smell that had become sharpest of all. He could tell whenever someone was in the room just by their scent. For example, Breda wore overpowering cologne that smelled much too manly and was nearly overbearing, so he could always tell when he was in the room. Fuery always smelled like Hayate as he would always come for a visit after taking care of the Lieutenant's dog…but Roy came to find his most favorite scent was whenever his Lieutenant, Riza, was near. Her scent wasn't as overpowering as Breda's, but it was still strong, but not harsh. She smelled of sweet strawberries and honey. Once everyone left, he would always ask her to sit near him so that he could breathe in more of her scent instead of the remnants of Breda's choking cologne. Riza would always happily oblige. They hadn't spoke of the horrors they'd endured at the hands of the homunculi. Some things really didn't need to be said, and Roy wasn't ready to bring up the nightmares just yet. He wanted to give them both some time to adjust, to recover. He would never forget that gash in Riza's throat, being covered in her blood, watching the life and fire in her eyes slowly slip away. It was something he never wanted to see again, and he would be damned if he ever felt so hopeless again, restrained to where he could do nothing. Roy hung his head and sighed as he clenched his fists. Riza noted his distress and moved to sit by him.
"Is everything alright, Sir?" she asked.
Always so formal. That was Riza for you, Roy thought. He lifted his head and stared into the direction where he thought she was and continued to stare into nothing. Roy frowned and swore.
"Am I even looking at you, Lieutenant?" he asked sadly.
Riza smiled at Roy.
"Turn your head a little to the left, Sir." She directed.
Roy turned his head, but missed the mark completely.
"How about now?"
Riza drew her brows together sympathetically.
"Permission to help you, Sir?" she asked.
Roy sighed in defeat and nodded. Riza scooted closer towards him and placed her hands on either side of his face. She turned his head slowly to face her and she stared into his gray, unseeing eyes. Roy had jumped slightly at her touch, his skin tingling as it encountered hers. Riza moved to pull her hands away, but Roy quickly placed his atop hers to hold them in place.
"No, please keep them there." He whispered.
Riza furrowed her brows at the Colonel's request, but did as he asked. For a long while, they remained as they were. Roy was the first to break the silence.
"How deep is the gash in your throat?" he asked softly.
Riza didn't want to tell him, she didn't want to hurt him anymore than he already was. She knew how helpless he felt that day, she remembered seeing the fear in his eyes, the despair as her throat was nearly ripped apart. Hell, if May hadn't been there, she probably would have died in his arms. Had that happened, she knew the Colonel would have gone right there with her, even if she had told him not to.
"It's nothing I can't handle, Sir. The doctor says I'm already on the mend and on my way to a full recovery."
Roy gave her a small smile. That was his queen, for you. Not one to easily fall and be captured.
"Good. I would expect no less from you." He stated.
They sat in silence again, Roy still not letting go of Riza's hands. Neither of them knew that they both wanted to say the same thing. What was it that was holding them both back? This was a time for celebration, after all. They shouldn't be unhappy just because they couldn't go out to celebrate with everyone else. Still, Roy knew of the complications that would arise once things went back to normal. Because of the anti-frat law in place within the military, nothing could ever come of their love. One of them would have to retire, and while Roy would gladly give up his dream of being Fuhrer if it meant that Riza would be his, he wasn't so sure if she would do the same. She didn't trust anyone other than herself to protect him and to watch his back, and Roy supposed it would be selfish of him to ask her to give that up. Still…it wasn't like he couldn't try and give it a chance.
"Sir, I,"
"You don't have to call me that when we're alone." Roy whispered softly.
Riza raised her eyebrows.
"What?" she asked, surprised.
Roy ran his thumbs across the tops of her hands and gave them a gentle squeeze.
"You don't have to be formal with me when we're alone. Didn't you tell Envy that we call each other by our names when no one else is around?"
Riza blushed slightly and adverted her gaze from his, even though she knew he couldn't see the bashfulness on her face.
"I only did that to trick him into dropping his disguise!" she exclaimed.
Roy smiled at hearing the slight distress in her voice. It was rather adorable.
"I know, but I kind of like the idea…Riza."
Riza opened her mouth to respond but closed it. She didn't want to admit to herself how nice it was to hear Roy say her name. Perhaps she would indulge him in this little wish of his, at least until they did have to return to using their formality.
"Very well, S-Roy." She stated.
He smiled warmly at the sound of her voice saying his name. He released her hands, but she didn't pull them away. Instead, she gently ran her thumbs across his skin and traced the shape of his strong jaw.
"You're getting some facial hair; do you want me to shave you?" she asked softly.
Riza immediately regretted her question as Roy became slightly crestfallen, realizing that he couldn't do something so simple on his own anymore. It was only for a second though before he immediately brightened.
"Why don't you prepare everything and guide my hand? I can't lay here and be a complete invalid, after all. I want to at least try and do something. But then again, I don't know. I was kind of thinking of growing a mustache."
At the prospect of seeing Roy with a mustache, Riza stood immediately and went to retrieve the shaving supplies.
"I don't think so, Roy. I'll be more than happy to help you shave."
He chuckled.
"What do you have against a mustache?" he asked, curious.
Riza shrugged as she returned with a bowl full of warm water, a rag, and a razor.
"I just prefer you with a clean face, that's all." She replied nonchalantly.
Roy raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really? So you think I'm handsome, then?" he teased.
Riza rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless.
"I'm not answering that." She stated as she slowly applied the cream to his face.
"Why ever not?" Roy asked coyly.
Riza wiped her hands on the towel and sat down next to him.
"Because, it's obviously a trap. Now, I'm going to have to take off your shirt. I don't want to get any cream on it."
"Ooh, we start calling each other by our first names and you're already trying to get me out of my clothes, I would have never expected that from you, Lieutenant." He teased again.
Riza bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn't laugh. She was quite enjoying his flirting, but was having some fun leaving him hanging too.
"Well, I could just leave you with the shaving cream on your face and the razor just ever so out of reach and I could go for a walk in the grounds. Up to you if you want to stop making jokes and cooperate." She stated playfully.
Roy rolled his eyes.
"Okay, okay. No need to get all upset. Besides, at least you'll get a nice view."
"Colonel!"
Roy chuckled and looked up at her. This time, he was looking directly at her. Riza couldn't help but smile at him. She sat down next to him and began unbuttoning his shirt. She made quick work of the buttons and soon had it folded neatly and sat it at the end of the bed. When she returned her attention to the Colonel, she hated to admit it, but he was right about the view. His chest was strong and sculpted and when he held her in his arms after Mei had saved her, she couldn't help but enjoy it and wished he would do it again. Bringing herself back to reality, she applied some more cream to cover his neck and wiped her hands once more. Riza grabbed the razor from the bedside table and placed it in Roy's hand. He gripped it firmly and she guided his hand to his face.
"We'll do this slowly, okay?"
Roy grinned.
"However you want it, Riza." He replied.
Riza frowned.
"Stop twisting everything I say into an innuendo." She stated.
Roy snickered.
"I'm sorry, you just make it so easy, ow!"
Roy jerked at the feel of the blade against his skin and a small bead of blood appeared. Riza wiped it away with the towel and applied a small amount of pressure until it stopped bleeding.
"I think that's a sign that you need to stop talking and focus." She observed.
"Mmm." He grumbled.
Riza gently and slowly guided Roy's hand down the left side of his face, scraping away the black hairs that were growing there. They remained quiet as she continued to help him. There was only one other mishap that they ran into during the entire process. When they went to wipe the blade, Roy tried to do it himself as Riza held the bowl for him, but he accidentally ended up tipping the bowl over onto Riza's shirt, soaking it through. He smiled sheepishly and apologized profusely as she was forced to remove her pajama top. She didn't have anything else to change into, so she remained clad in her bra and pajama pants. Riza couldn't be mad at him though, he was trying his hardest. Roy was extremely grateful for Riza's help, and when they had finished, he was sad to feel her pull away. She went to the nearby sink to wash the razor and retrieve clean water for the bowl. She came back and sat on the edge of his bed and dipped the towel into the water. She placed it over his face and gently removed the excess cream that was behind. Riza wiped the rest of it away and removed the towel and placed it on the bedside table. She smiled. Besides the one cut he received because he wouldn't stop talking, the rest of the shave was a clean one, and now he looked as handsome as ever.
"Good as new." She stated softly.
Riza had moved to grab his shirt from the end of the bed, but Roy reached for her.
"Riza, I…"
Roy was aiming to grab her wrist, but because of the way Riza was turned, he missed entirely, and he accidentally grabbed her…breast. Riza sat still as stone. She didn't say anything, she just looked at where Roy's hand was and back to him several times. Roy looked confused for a moment. He felt her skin and something soft and…lacy? He turned his hand slightly and then realization dawned on him as he pieced together what he held in his hand. Once he made the connection, he snatched his hand back quickly and blushed.
"Oh. Oh God. I am so sorry. Lieutenant, you know I wouldn't have done that unless had given me permission. I swear to you I thought I was reaching for your wrist, I…I didn't mean...dammit why is this so hard!"
Riza couldn't hold it in anymore. The mortified look on Roy's face coupled with the embarrassment of the entire situation, she threw her head back and laughed. Roy snapped his attention back to her and, when he realized that she was laughing at the situation and not at him, he joined in. Riza wiped a tear from her eye and turned her attention back to Roy. His own laughter died out as he felt her move closer to him.
"What I wouldn't give to see your face right now." He whispered tenderly.
Riza's entire body warmed at the tone of Roy's voice. Soft, sweet, ever so husky.
"Did I make you blush?" he asked teasingly.
Riza giggled and leaned closer to her superior officer.
"Why yes, Roy, I suppose you did." She replied.
Roy smirked. He reached for her again and this time cupped the side of her face. He ran his thumb across her plump bottom lip and released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Riza closed her eyes at his touch. She slowly puckered her lips and lightly kissed the pad of his thumb. Roy sucked in a breath at the intimate gesture and felt his entire body react to that one simple interaction.
"Riza…" he said her name so softly.
Riza looked at him.
"Yes, Roy?" she asked.
Roy swallowed and took in a shaky breath.
"Will you be here when Dr. Marcoh restores my sight?"
Riza nodded.
"Of course I will be." She stated.
Roy smiled.
"Good. Because I want you to be the first thing that I see."
Riza felt tears dare to brim her eyes at Roy's words. Her heart was sure to burst for this man. He could drive her crazy without even trying, he was so infuriating and maddening and ambitious and brave. Damn it all, they had nearly died without telling each other what they felt. It was so obvious, sometimes Riza thought words didn't need to be said, but she wasn't going to risk that chance anymore. She closed the space between them and whispered,
"I love you, Roy Mustang. I followed you into hell and back and I'd do it again and again. In the end, I will always choose you. Always."
Roy didn't consider himself to be a very emotional man, but damn if he wasn't close to crying when Riza said those words. He nuzzled his nose against hers before claiming her mouth in a heated kiss. A jolt of electricity shot through both of their bodies as their lips finally touched after all the years of being kept apart. All those years of longing and sidelong glances all came to this one moment. He wanted her then and there, but it wasn't the right time, and that was most certainly something he wanted to see. They pulled apart and broke the kiss as both of their bodies threatened to run out of oxygen. They were high off of each other's adrenaline and it was all Roy could do to stop.
"Let's wait." He said after a long moment.
Riza looked at him incredulously.
"Roy…"
Roy shook his head.
"We have too. I can't do this without seeing you. Call me selfish, but I want to see the pleasure I bring you expressed on your face." He stated.
Riza blushed furiously but smiled.
"Alright, Colonel. You win."
She had moved to retrieve his shirt once again, however, Roy didn't let go.
"Not so fast, I didn't mean we had to stop making out." He chuckled.
Riza smirked at him.
"Oh really? Well, I think we should in case someone we know drops by."
Roy shrugged and pulled her back down to him. He nuzzled his nose against hers.
"Who's going to come by at this time of day?" he asked.
As if on que, the door swung open and a familiar, intoxicating cologne entered the room.
"Hey, boss. I got those files you asked for…oh…heh, did I interrupt something?"
If only he had his ignition glove and could see what he was doing. He wrapped his arm around Riza as best as he could to shield her from Breda's eyes and she buried her face in his neck to hide her embarrassment.
"I told you." She hissed in his ear.
Roy sighed.
"Just set them on the table over there and don't come back for the rest of the day, Breda. And for that matter, don't tell anyone else to come by here, either! I'm very busy!"
Breda chuckled.
"I can see that." He replied as he raised his eyebrows.
"That is an order, Breda!" Roy shouted.
Breda chuckled and placed the documents on the table as Roy requested.
"Relax, relax! I'm going. Man, wait till I tell Falman about this. Can I ask who made the first move? We've had a bet going on for a while now and,"
"GET OUT!" Roy roared.
Breda held up his hands in defeat.
"Okay, okay I'm going! Just so you know though, Colonel, we were all rooting for you two for a long time!"
With that, Breda left snickering to himself. Riza giggled into Roy's chest and raised herself.
"I guess we were the office gossip the whole time." She stated.
Roy shrugged.
"Well, at least it was something good."
Riza chuckled again and settled herself next to Roy. With her help, he wrapped his arm around her and held her close. He closed his eyes and breathed in her strawberry scent. Just as he felt himself begin to drift off to sleep, his eyes flew open as he made a realization.
"Riza?" he asked softly.
"Hmmm?" she replied.
Roy squeezed her gently and kissed her forehead.
"I love you too. And I'd follow you back into hell again and again if it meant that I got to have you by my side, watching my back."
Riza smiled and nuzzled herself into his neck.
"I know." She whispered.
Roy smirked. How like her, always confident. He held his love close as he felt sleep dare to take over his body. He sure hoped none of this was a dream because he would be awfully sad upon waking up, but something told him that it was all true. Roy couldn't wait for Marcoh to arrive, he didn't care if he didn't get to see anything else in the world ever again, so long as he got to see his queen's face once more…that was all that mattered.
A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed this story! This is my first Royai fic, and honestly it was supposed to be much more mature than what it turned out to be, but I couldn't help but throw some humor in there! Any feedback is welcome and always appreciated, I hope I kept them in character! Thanks for reading!