Final Fantasy VIII Karaoke
By: Ionia Metallium-Greywers

Author's notes: Ok, I had to write this because I needed humor. Before I wrote this I had read a very depressing fanfic about the end of the FF8 game. Everyone died! And the end was so sad... *sniffle* But anyway, on with the fic! (((_^

Warnings: Very bad singing, very strange singing, and assorted humor and maybe some fluff.


Selphie looked up at the big machine. "It's so...BIG!" she exclaimed. She examined the buttons on a panel near a door.

"Don't touch any of those buttons, Selphie," Irvine warned. He pulled her away from the machine before she could do any damage.

"Irvine, why did you buy this thing anyway?" Zell kicked at a giant box labeled Karaoke Master 5000.

Irvine grinned. "Just something to do. And besides, don't you think Squall needs to lighten up a little?"

"Well, yeah, but--"

"See? Point proven."

"But--"

"No. Shut up, Zell." Zell decided to shut up before Irvine got really angry. He had seen the sniper pissed off before, and it wasn't pretty. Worse than his own tantrums, even. Yikes.

"Well, shall we get it started?" Selphie said as she rummaged through the box. She fell inside, then popped back out, holding her prize in the air. "I found the instruction manual!"

"Good. Lemme see that thing." Selphie handed it to Irvine, and he leafed through it. "Ah, here we go: Operating your Karaoke Master 5000."

"What's it say? What's it say?" Selphie, who had climbed out of the box, jumped up and down, trying to see over Irvine's shoulder, seeing he IS nearly a foot taller than her.

"'To start your Karaoke Master 5000, press the red start button next to the door...'" He trailed off. The three looked at the big machine and sweatdropped.

*****

"Squall! Hey, Squall! Where are you, Squall?" Selphie yelled, running down the hall towards the dorms. Continuing the yelling, she burst through the door of Squall's dorm. "Squall!"

Squall fell off his bed. "What, Selphie?" He was used to intrusions like this. They happened all the time.

"Come with me!" she giggled. "It's gonna be so much fun!"

"What will be fun?" he asked as Selphie dragged him away towards the Quad.

*****

Quistis sat in the library, reading a very interesting (yeah right) book about past sorceresses, when Zell ran in.

"Quistis! There you are!"

"Zell! Hi! You know, I was talking to the girl with the pigtails and she said you still have some overdue books and she's wondering--"

"Not the time, Quisty!" He picked her up under his arm and ran off, while Quistis was struggling for freedom.

*****

Rinoa was walking around in the TC when Irvine came running in.

"Rinoa! I found you!"

"What are YOU doing here?" she asked in the meanest voice she could.

"Now, now, Ms. Sorceress, I know you don't like me, but this is hardly the time for violence. Squall--"

"Squall?!" she shrieked. "Take me! PLEASE!"

"Alright. That wasn't too hard." Irvine went to grab Rinoa's arm to lead her to the Quad, but she shrunk back.

"Um...don't touch me...I'm allergic to cowboy snipers..." And Irvine just looked at her /really/ strangely.

*****

When everyone was gathered together in the Quad, Irvine started up the Karaoke Master 5000. It beeped out a short greeting.

"HELLO. WELCOME TO KARAOKE MASTER 5000. THIS MACHINE WAS CREATED TO ENDUCE LAUGHING AND HUMILIATION. HAVE A NICE DAY."

"Well, that was odd," Zell said.

"Who's goin' first?" Irvine asked as he hopped to the front of the group.

"Me! Me! Meeeeeeeeee!" Selphie screamed. Irvine smiled.

"Ok, does anyone want to go in there with Selphie?" Me, he added to himself, and smirked a little. "No volunteers? Well, I'll go in with her then." The two went inside the big machine and soon, music was blaring from inside, although no one could tell what song it was.

Soon, Selphie bounded out of the machine, giggling uncontrollably. Irvine followed, wincing and rubbing his ears.

"What happened?" Quistis asked.

"WHAT?" Irvine yelled back. Selphie grinned.

"I picked music and blared it." She grinned even more.

"Well, that was a given, Selphie," Zell muttered.

"Who's turn is it now?" Rinoa asked.

"WHAT?" Irvine yelled. Selphie made the motion for him to zip it until he regained his hearing.

"Oh, let's go inside, Squall!" Rinoa attached herself to Squall's arm.

"Huh? Um...ok..." Squall said, just kinda staring at Rinny for a while with a really odd expression on his face. Rinoa got tired of waiting and just dragged him in the big machine. Soon, high-pitched wailing and "Eyes On Me" as background music could be heard. The door opened, and an SD Squall came running out, hiding behind Irvine's leg. "Make it stop! Make it stop!!!"

"Aww, how cute!" Selphie exclaimed. Squall soon regained his composure and snapped out of SD.

Rinoa came out of the machine. "That was fun!" she yelled. "C'mon Squall! I'm hungry! Let's go to the cafeteria!" She grabbed Squall by the arm and dragged him against his will, in the kicking-and-screaming-let-me-go-I'll-kill-you-if-you-don't-let-me-go-right-now manner. Everyone remaining at the karaoke machine sweatdropped.

"What is all this racket?!" Cid yelled as he barged into the Quad. "The noise level is too high! If you're going to--dear Hyne! Isn't that a Karaoke Master 5000?!"

Irvine nodded slowly. "Uh...yes, sir. It is."

Cid hopped from one foot to another like a little kid that had to go to the bathroom really bad. "Can I try it? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease???????"

Irvine sweatdropped. "Um...sure..."

"Yahoo!!!" Cid ran into the machine and shut the door. Soon, background music for Sonny and Cher could be heard.

Quistis sweatdropped. "Eto...perhaps we should leave an old man to himself...?"

"Good thinking," Zell agreed. The four remaining SeeDs walked quickly out of the Quad.

Cid came out of the machine some 10 minutes later. "That was fun! Can we do it again? Pleasepleaseple--hey...where'd everyone go? Hello? ...Anyone?"

Moral: If you get a karaoke machine, keep it to yourself. PLEASE. You have been warned.

~OWARI~