Okay, so I know that I still have yet to finish Naruto in New Pretty Town. But, I'm sorry, I've completely Lost Interest in the fic. I'm not abandoning it. Just moving on to something else while I try to get inspiration for it back (ha ha, it's gonna be a long time.)

While watching (well, re-watching) Naruto, I noticed something. Almost NONE of the Ninjas are well-adjusted semi-normal human beings. They are all mentally scarred and psyho. So I thought of something.

Maybe, since there are an abudance of uncontrollable shinobi, what if the Hidden Villages decided to create a test to make sure their weapons are mentally stable. This test including (gasp) intermingling with normal teenagers, who have never been immersed in the mentally-destructive shinobi environment?

Disclaimer: No, I don't own the rights to the show. And no, I'm not making any profit out of this fan work. So please don't sue me.

Pairings: TBA, I'm not sure yet. I'm sure they'll just kinda happen eventually.

Warnings: Language, crude humor, references to sexual situations, references to drugs and alcohol, and other standard High School Behavior.

"Kakashi's gonna be late again."

"No shit, Sherlock."

Sasuke sighed. This was gonna be a loooooong wait.

Poof.

Thought too soon.

"Tsunade wants to see you brats in her office. Bye." Poof.

Okay then. That was short. Guess training is cancelled.

"Yes! Maybe we're getting a super secret steath mission!"

"I doubt it. I don't think she'd assign a steath mission that included you."

Naruto pouted. Hmm, not that bad when he shuts his mouth. It's not like he's hard on the eyes. Unlike pinky over there. She may be the most tolerable girl here, now that she's backed off on the stalking me. But she's still pink-haired. It's horrible.

Oh, look, the tower. Time to go see what the granny wants us for. (As you can see, Sasuke's thoughts are rather tempid and boring)

...

Why are the other Rookie Nine and Team Gai here? Tsunade's talking. I guess I'll listen. If it's about a mission.

"Alright, you all know that the elders have been worried about the... mental status of their ninjas. So they have devised a test for their more inexperinced ninja to make sure you are, and will remain happy, well-adjusted human beings.

"Go shopping for fashionable clothes and pack your bags, you are going overseas to the United States of America and entering..." Dramatic Pause, "High School."

"That's our super-big mission? Fit in with a bunch of normal civillians?" Oops. I said that out loud. She's glaring at me.

"I think that entering a high school will tell you a whole lot about yourself, Uchiha. And your lack of social skills." Shut up, I have social skills, I just don't use them. " Keep in mind that you are not to have weapons, ninja clothing, scrolls, bombs, headbands, or other shinobi tools about you. You are not fighting. And do not expect to be treated as you are here. These civillians have no idea who you are, where you've been, or even what shinobi are. They will not feel respect for you for your past or your name. Any sharing of techniques will get your ninja resigtration taken.

"Weapons on school grounds will result in suspention. Have a nice trip. See you next autumn. Yes, a whole year. You don't have to pack light."

"I accept this challenge! When are we meeting?" Rock Lee. Overexcited much?

"You will be taken by car to an airport, where you will be flown to their local airport, meet at 11:45 tonight at the gates." What the hell are cars, planes, and airports? They must be waaaaaay more lazy than us to have all these vehicle-sounding things. Lazy farts. Well, might as well go shopping and get some civilian clothes. All I have is my ninja gear.

...

Why are we going this late at night, and why is Ino insisting on standing next to me as we wait for this car-thing to show up? Wait. What is that sound. It's growling and getting closer. It's got bright glowing lights and it's going fast. Wait, now it's slowing down. It's made of... shiny painted metal, it looks like. Twice as tall as me. Longer than the village gates. The growling just stopped and the lights are going off. Lights are now coming on inside of it. There's a tall woman opening the door with a lever. She pops her head out the door.

"I'm lookin' for the 'Rookie Nine' and 'Team Gai.' Is'sat you kids?" She has a stange accent. Her words are slurred. Is she drunk?

"Yosh! We are! Are you here with the car-thing?" See, I'm not the only one who doesn't know what it is.

"Git your stuff, It's a hour's drive to the airport." I grab my suitcase and haul it toward the 'car'. Once everyone's inside she turns a key and the rumbling starts again. I stick my suitcase between the center of the thing and me and look out the window. This must be what it feels like to be Lee. We're going so fast. Naruto's started up a conversation between the weird lady, Lee, and himself about the car-thing. (Which is apparently a type of car called a bus.)

The scenery going by with the rumble of the bus is kind of soothing. Naruto's whooping every time we go over a bump isn't. I ignore it. I'm starting to get sleepy, sitting here like this.

I try pushing a button next to me with a light bulb. A little light comes on over my head. Cool. I guess I'll read to not fall asleep.

...

I found the plane. It's huuuuge. That thing is suposed to go up in the air? Apparently it's going to eight hours to get there. Eight hours. With Naruto. And Lee. And Kiba. And Ino. This is going to be hell in the air. Yay. Eight hours. I can probably go to sleep.

We get out of the growling bus and into the plane-thing. After some prompting to put out stuff in the little port in the plane, exept for what we want for the flight. The stairs are tall and narrow, it has a short door into it, and is really not as big inside as it appears to be.

It's barely tall enough to stand and has twelve rows of seat, a solo seat on the right side and two together on the left. I can sleep on the flight. I take a seat near the back, put my crap on the other seat and look out the window. There are little vehicles starting to swarm all around us, with people in reflector vests.

The door closes, with a little wind tunnel noise. An attractive lady in a red pencil skirt and jacket comes out from the front and gives a little speech on what to do in an emergency. Her tie annoys me. It's all lacy and impractial. That seems to be what this culture is all about. She goes back to the front.

The plane starts, with a similar noise to what the bus made, but muffled and louder. Everyone leans over to the windows. The stuff outside do their little get-the-plane-ready dance and then clear the way. The plane slowly accelerate, going faster and faster, Then suddenly comes of the ground with a smooth stomach lurching sensation. Everyone exept Shino, Hinata and Neji cheer. I roll my eyes at their stupidity.

But it have to admit this is cool. We're going up higher and higher and higher. The bus looks like a little ant. Everything is becoming miniature, like a little play set. Seems like you could reach out and pick up the buildings. This thing goes fast.

An hour and we are over the ocean. It's now two in the morning, everyone is starting to nod off to sleep. I'm going to too.

...

Ahh, biiiiitch. It's only seven-thirty. Oh, food. That's okay then. The lady just woke everyone up. She has little plates of bacon, eggs, and toast for everyone for breakfast before we are cultureshocked and introduced to the mission known as high school. Yum.

I just bit into the toast. Tastes like cardboard. But I'm hungry. So I'll shove it down my throat anyway. Oh look, we're almost there apparently. There are lots of long, straight road in this land. Lots of buildings. It's like Konoha times three. It's that big. Hey look, there's a big road, it looks too big for cars. Maybe that where we're going.

The lady's back. Taking our plates. The person controlling this thing is telling us through the intercom to put up our trays and put our seats up. If the takeoff was exciting. This was nervewracking. We circled around a few times, then touched down with a sickening lurch. I thought something went wrong for a second. Oh, apparently that was normal. I grab my stuff, we all head to the door when the pilot and attendant open it.

Look out new world. Here comes Sasuke Uchiha.

And the rest of Rookie nine.

And Team Gai.

So that was my mediocre first chapter. I don't know what this inner narration would be called. I'm going to call it Kyon, cause it's a lot like Kyon's point of veiw in The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya light novels.

I think that was the longest thing I've ever written. That was longer than my last one-shot (which was pretty long.) And about as long as all six chapters of Naruto in New Pretty Town. Wow.