LUKE SKYWALKER WAS OBSERVERING THE SPECTACULAR SIGHT BEFORE HIM: THE BEAUTIFUL ORANGE SUNSET GLITTERING OVER THE SANDS OF TATOOINE. IT WAS A RITUAL AT THIS POINT. WATCH THE SUNSET. RETIRE FOR THE NIGHT. SUCCUMB TO THE THROUGHS OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS BLISS. IN HIS DREAMS LUKE SKYWALKER FOUND HIS ONLY COMFORTS. IN HIS DREAMS LUKE SKYWALKER WAS LOVED.
LUKE SKYWALKER WAS NOT LOVED IN REAL LIFE, HOWEVER. HE WAS HATED BY THOUSANDS OF MALEVOLENT BEINGS THAT EXISTED IN SOME POCKET DIMENSION HE COULD NOT SEE OR TOUCH. WERE THEY A SINGLE BEING, A SUPERNATURAL FORCE COMPOSED OF MANY INDIVIDUAL MINDS. WERE THEY TRULY A ARMY OF STRANGERS WHO DESPISED HIM SO. OR WERE THEY ONE ENTITY ALONE ACTING AS MANY. LUKE SKYWALKER HAD NO IDEA. LUKE SKYWALKER HAD NO IDEA AT ALL. LUKE SKYWALKER STARED INTO THE VOID AND THE VOID PELTED HIM WITH HARRASSMENT AND EGGS.
LUKE SKYWALKER LOOKED AT HIS COMPUTER IN MUCH ANGUISH. IT WAS HIS RESPITE AND HIS BURDEN. LUKE SKYWALKER COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT IT, BUT AT THIS RATE, IT WAS KILLING HIM. THE INTERNET WAS KILLING LUKE SKYWALKER.
LUKE SKYWALKER HAD SEEN MANY THINGS IN HIS JOURNEYS. LUKE SKYWALKER HAD SEEN INCREDIBLE THINGS THAT HE COULD HARDLY ARTICULATE, AND IF HE COULD, HE DID THEM NO JUSTICE. LUKE SKYWALKER WAS A HERO AND AN ADVENTURER. BUT HIS GOOD DEEDS WERE SUPERCEDED BY WHATEVER IT WAS THAT GARNERED HIM SUCH ANONYMOUS VITRIOL. IT WAS A MULTITUDE OF THINGS, ALL OF WHICH HAD BEEN THOUROUGHLY CATALOGED ACROSS THE INTERNET TENFOLD AND THERE WAS NOTHING HE COULD DO. LUKE SKYWALKER COULD DO NOTHING.
LUKE SKYLWALKER ACCESSED THE INTERNET TO VIEW HIS FEED AND DO SOME WRITING AND WAS MET PROMPTLY BY NUMEROUS ATTACKS FROM MULTIPLE FRONTS, AND THE ACHE IN HIS CHEST GREW AND GREW. LUKE SKYWALKER COULD TAKE THIS AGGONY NO LONGER. LUKE SKYWALKER RETALIATED WITH A VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT JOURNAL ENTRY IN WHICH HE EXPRESSED HIS VARIOUS FRUSTRATIONS WITH THE FOWL BEASTS WHO PERSTERED HIM.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" LUKE SKYWALKER BEGGED OF THE THEM. "I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL. WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WAHT THIS DOES TO ME."
THE FACELESS MASSES RESPONDED THUS: "YOU ARE A FAGGOT LUKE SKYWALKER. YOU ARE WORTHLESS AND A TERRIBLE WRITER AND THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU."
LUKE SKYWALKER COULD TAKE THIS NO LONGER AND HE LOST HIMSELF TO UNCONTROLLABLE MISERY. LUKE SKYWALKER TOOK A PICTURE OF HIMSELF BEING SAD AND POSTED IT ON THE INTERNET. THEN THEY WOULD KNOW.
AND THE INTERNET LAUGHED EN MASSE AS LUKE SKYWALKER LOOKED ON IN SUFFERING, HIS HEART BROKEN A THOUSAND TIMES OVER IN THE SPAN OF A MILISECOND. LUKE SKYWALKER KNEW THAT THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE THESE FIENDS UNDERSTAND WAS TO SHOW THEM WHAT THEIR WORDS AND ACTIONS DROVE HIM TO. LUKE SKYWALKER WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND BEGAN A LIVESTREAM ON HIS COMPUTER.
LUKE SKYWALKER TOOK THE BOTTLE OF IBUOPROFIN AND TOOK THE CAP OFF AND LUKE SKYWALKER SCREAMED. THE INTERNET TOLD LUKE SKYWALKER TO DO IT AND THEY CALLED HIM GAY WHICH HE ISN NOT. AND LUKE SKYWALKER AT THE BOTTLE. LUKE SKYWALKER PUT THE COMPUTER ON THE SINK AND TOOK THE CAP OFF THE PILLS AND TOOK ALL OF THE PILLS. ALL OF THEM AND THE INTERNET REJOICED. LUKE SKYWALKER REGRETTED HIS DESCISIONS IMMEDIATELY. THIS WAS NO WAY TO PROVE A POINT LUKE SKYWALKER. THIS WAS NO WAY TO DEFEND HIMSELF. LUKE SKYWALKER THREW UP ON TIME AND SOBBED AND DID NOT DIE. THE INTERNET WAS DISAPPOINTED... LUKE SKYWALKER WAS DISAPPOINTED... IN HIMSELF.
LUKE SKYWALKER THREW THE COMPUTER IN THE TRASH AND THEN STARED AT IT. AND WAS THINKING. THEY WOULD UNDERSTAND HIS PAIN SOMEDAY. LUKE SKYWALKER WOULD BECOME THE MOST EVIL MAN ON THE INTERNET. LUKE SKYWALKER WOULD SHOW THEM ALL. ALL OF THEM.
WITH THE COMPUTER FROM THE TRASH, LUKE SKYWALKER SET TO WORK REINVENTING HIMSELF. HE KNEW THAT HIS JEDI FATHER ANAKIN SKYWALKER WOULD NOT BE PLEASED WITH HIS DARK REVENGE, BUT HE PRAYED THAT HE WOULD UNDERSTAND. LUKE SKYWALKER SHED A TEAR IN HIS DEAD FATHER'S MEMORY.
AT THAT MOMENT HAN SOLO ENTERED THE ROOM. HAN SOLO HAD A BIG THING AND WAS INCREDIBLY HANDSOME AND HAD A FACE THAT WOMEN LIKED AND LUKE SKYWALKER CURSED HIM FOR NEVER HAVING TO KNOW THE PAIN OF NEVER BEING LOVED. HAN SOLO WOULD NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE UNLOVED.
LUKE SKYWALKER RECALLED THE IMMENSE SUFFERING HE SUFFERED AT THE EXPANSE OF HAN SOLO. THE MEMORIES FILLED HIM WITH IMMEASURABLE RAGE AND HATERED AND AT THAT MOMENT LUKE SKYWALKER SAW HIS FIRST VICTIM IN HAN SOLO.
LUKE SKYWALKER WOULD MAKE HAN SOLO PAY FOR HIS TRANSGRESSIONS. LUKE SKYWALKER KNEW THAT HAN SOLO DRANK TOO MUCH AND WOULD HIT LEIA AND MAKE HER FACE BRUISE. LEIA THOUGHT SHE LOVED HE BUT SHE WOULD LEARN. LEIA WOULD LEARN SOON ENOUGH. LUKE SKYWALKER WOULD FIX WHAT WAS BROKEN. LUKE SKYWALKER WAS THE HERO THAT LEIA NEEDED.
LUKE SKYWALKER LOGGED ONTO THE INTERNET AND HE BEGAN TO DOX HAN SOLO. HAN SOLO WOULD RUE THE DAY THAT HE STEPPED FOOT INTO LUKE SKYWALKER'S LIFE.