this is my first time writing for this pair and i know this idea is overused, but i couldn't keep the little plot-bunny from assaulting my mind. forgive me. also, i don't use honorifics and i'm refraining from using 'dobe' and 'teme', as i write in english. the only japanese are their names and jutsu, because saying skill sounds weird. i apologize if this annoys anyone because that's not my intention.
title comes from a play off the song 'will the circle be unbroken'. i literally listening to 10 different versions of this song writing this for reasons unbeknownst to me. ha.
warning: ooc, mpreg, miscarriage, mild lemon scenes, language, angst.
disclaimer: i'll only say this once, i have no ownership rights.
The first time it had been brought to his attention was during the wake of their latest love making session. It had been a quiet statement, barely rolling off his tongue as he turned to face his panting lover, their chests raising and falling with the beat of their hearts. Truth be told, with the silence that greeted him, he wasn't entirely sure if he had said anything or not.
Naruto looked at him, eyes wide and full of undying love. A tan hand ran along his side, playing his ribs like piano keys as he leaned in to steal a soft kiss from his lover. Sasuke took this as a sign that he hadn't been heard.
"Naruto?" Sasuke grasped the hand that was caressing his body and laced their fingers together.
"Hm?" the blond hummed, bringing their conjoined hands to his face and pressing his lips to the back of Sasuke's hand. The small gesture earned him a gentle smile. In the dark of the night, Naruto was suddenly very thankful that Sasuke laid on the side of their bed where the moonlight would hit him directly. If not for this, he would've missed the rare sight.
"I want a baby," Sasuke whispered.
A weight that he hadn't known was on his chest had been lifted. Sasuke exhaled, tightening his grip on Naruto's hand.
"What?" Naruto asked, dropping their hands and reaching out to turn the light on the beside table on.
"A baby," Sasuke reiterated, "I want one."
Naruto sat up, legs crossed, and released Sasuke's hand. Blue eyes stared down at his black haired lover, confused and questioning. Sasuke lay, trying to keep himself jumping off the bed and jetting of the room. Pools of obsidian dancing with regret at a brief flash of pain that washed over Naruto's face. He'd taken him the wrong way.
"Hey, I don't mean like that." Sasuke said, trying to keep Naruto from coming to the wrong conclusion.
"Then how do you mean it, Sasuke?" Naruto questioned.
Sasuke pushed himself up slightly, his elbows digging into the soft padding of their bed. He tilted his head to the side, watching Naruto from the corner of his eyes and thinking about how he was supposed to word his idea. It would have to be in the easiest of terms; he wasn't sure how Naruto would take it otherwise.
"I'm not going to leave you just to have a child," he began, looking at the ceiling as if it held all the answers to life, "there's another way."
"You mean adoption? I thought you wanted an heir to carry on your name," Naruto said, toying with the wrinkled sheet beneath their bodies. The cool, silky texture felt good against his heated skin.
"No," Sasuke muttered. "There's another way."
"Oh? Do tell," Naruto ordered, eyes narrowing. If he meant that they get a surrogate, Sasuke may as well leave him and find some random girl to carry his offspring. He wanted no parts of that mess.
Sasuke sat up and faced Naruto, uncertainty masking his pale features as he brought a hand down to his toned stomach, fingers splayed across the flat surface. Sasuke had never felt more vulnerable in his life with Naruto's eyes following his movements and a crease of his brows when he realized what Sasuke was trying to tell him.
The silence was overwhelming. Sasuke could feel his heart hammering against his chest and he was sure that Naruto could hear it. He didn't think he could deal with Naruto's silent realization any longer.
"You aren't...?" Naruto's voice was small; something that didn't happen often.
Sasuke shook his head, looking down at his hand and imagining what it would be like if he was. It was a hard thing to do, but when he finally pictured himself with a small bump, a tiny smile crossed his lips with a dozen questions.
Would he be willing to experiment on himself? Was he able to subject himself to all the unwanted nonsense that would come with an unnatural occurrence? What would Naruto think? Would he stick by him if something went wrong? Who would be there when the time came to deliver? Would the child be born with defects? Not that he wouldn't want it; maybe he was just kidding himself. In retrospect, Sasuke figured he should have thought about it more since the cons were beginning to outweigh the pros.
"Before you brought me back," the black haired male started, looking up at Naruto's unusually pale face, "I found a jutsu. One that would allow us to stay together and have my name live on."
"How does it work? What would it do to you? How do you know it even works? Oh, God." Naruto's brain was on overdrive, filtering through what he really wanted to say and what he was actually saying. Of course, these were all the basic questions that Sasuke had asked himself. Naruto looked at him, eyes wide in horror at the idea of something going wrong. "What if it doesn't work?"
"We keep trying until it does," Sasuke responded, scooting closer to Naruto so that he could wrap his arms around the other's body, holding him, whispering sweet nothings against his hair. "We'll keep going until we get there. There's no harm in trying."
Naruto wound his arms around Sasuke's pale build, their bodies melding together as if the raven was his lifeline and he would die without him. Honestly, he probably would die and that alone was a scary thought that the blond didn't want to think about. He couldn't help it though, as he placed a trail of moist kisses from Sasuke's neck to his jaw, ending with a kiss at the corner of his lover's lips.
Instead of more questions, he tried to push all negative thoughts to the back of his mind, opting to think of the good that could come out of it. If Sasuke's attempt at talking him into it was any indication on how much he wanted it then Naruto could only go along with it. It wasn't often that the older male wanted something. Naruto would support him like any good boyfriend would and he would be there if anything were to go wrong.
Who was he to deny Sasuke the happiness he deserved?
"Okay," he said softly, his breath ghosting over Sasuke's lips. "We'll try."
*NS*
Naruto made it a point to tell Tsunade about their plans. After much deliberating, she came to the conclusion that it probably wasn't the best idea, but she couldn't stop them from doing something that they had their hearts set on. The shocking part of the entire ordeal had been when Sasuke announced that he would be the carrier, since he wanted to take some of the judgmental burden off Naruto.
Things really hadn't changed much since he returned after killing his brother, even though he was sure that the entire village would hate him. Instead, people tried to get into his best graces like they had before he abandoned his home. Naruto was still being shafted by nearly everyone, though many had turned a new leaf and saw the blond in a new light. It was still a fifty-fifty relationship with the people of the village and Sasuke wanted to shift some of that attention to himself. What better way to do that than an abnormal pregnancy? If that didn't shout judge me, then he didn't know what did.
Also, he wanted to do this for his sanity. He wasn't entirely sure what would happen and how his body would react, so when it came to deciding who would carry the child, Naruto was not an option. If it was going to kill either of them, he would prefer it to be him.
*NS*
"So when are we going to try?" Naruto asked one evening, completely out of the blue, while they sat on the couch in their one bedroom apartment with the television playing in the background.
Sasuke, startled from the sudden outburst, tore his eyes from the mind numbing show and looked up at his boyfriend's face. He momentarily found himself wondering what a child would look like with both their genes. If it would fit into the stereotypical stature of the Uchiha name.
"We've been trying," Sasuke answered, an eyebrow arched and a sly grin playing on his face.
"Oh?" Naruto breathed.
Sasuke brought a leg over Naruto's lap, effectively straddling the blond as he pressed their torsos together, his hands snaking into golden locks. Sasuke kissed the side of Naruto's neck, licking and sucking spots that he knew turned the blond on, stopping only to nibble on Naruto's ear and whisper, "we started trying the night we left Tsunade's office".
That had been news to Naruto, but he couldn't complain. He was satisfied with the way things were going.
Naruto could barely believe the transformation in Sasuke in the year he'd been back and Naruto could honestly admit that he hadn't been happier. If anyone had asked him before he managed to get Sasuke home what he was planning to do with the raven, he would've told them that he really had no plans. Naruto just wanted him home, knowing that he would do whatever he pleased with or without permission, so it came as a shock when Sasuke confessed that he wanted more out of their relationship.
"T-that night, huh?" Naruto bit back a moan as Sasuke lowered himself on the blond, his head thrown back and heart beating frantically. Naruto propped his feet up on the table so that he could bend his knees slightly and support Sasuke in the chance that he decided to lean back (because that one time didn't work out so well).
Sasuke pressed his lips to Naruto's, his tongue coaxing the other's mouth open so their appendages could dance, and his arms wrapped around Naruto's neck, hands gripping the back of the couch to keep himself steady. Naruto moaned into Sasuke's mouth, his hands finding home on the raven's hips and his nails leaving imprints as he tightened his grasp.
Neither one could say when they finally had enough of each other, if that could ever be the case, but after several times of intense— in Naruto's words —love making, they were finally calling it a night as they cuddled in their over-sized bed. Naruto lay down first, leaning back against the headboard and waiting for Sasuke, who decided at the last minute that he wasn't as sated as he thought. Naruto tried to talk Sasuke into doing his business in bed, but he wasn't having it.
"Feel better?" Naruto asked when Sasuke walked into the room his boxers hanging loosely from his hips.
"I can deal," the raven stated, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I don't think I can do another round even I wanted to."
Naruto snorted and crawled towards the end of the bed so that he could engulf Sasuke in his arms, his chin resting on the raven's shoulder. Sasuke relaxed as he leaned into Naruto, his bare back against the other's chest. It was with much thought that he realized that under any other circumstances they probably wouldn't be together the way they were.
Naruto would have never found him and brought him home, after much fighting and a promise to kill the nine-tail vessel. Sasuke wouldn't have received a full pardon, assuming he could convince Tsunade and the council that he was a different person from the one that had been on a murderous rampage for the last few years of his life. They wouldn't have each other; there would be no other existence than the hatred filled one he'd previously known— a life that would kill him if the right person came along.
Most importantly, though, there would be no love. An emotion that he thought was beyond his reach. It had become a staple in his life; something that he welcomed with open arms as long as it belonged to Naruto. Sasuke could be himself around the blond; a person that could smile, laugh, and offer the world something fantastic. To others, however, Sasuke remained reserved and cold, talking only when spoken to and offering nothing more than a calculating gaze. It was how they worked on and off the battlefield.
"You're thinking too hard," Naruto mused, pressing his lips softly to the nape of Sasuke's neck. "Feel like telling me what's up?"
"What if it doesn't work?" Sasuke questioned.
"Then it doesn't work," Naruto offered, moving around so that he could sit next to him, noticing the way Sasuke's eyes hardened at his words. "I believe someone told me that we'd keep trying until it does."
"Hn," he sighed, knowing that his words would come back to bite him in the ass.
*NS*
Naruto couldn't say when he noticed a change in Sasuke. They'd been too busy with missions and trying to make the impossible happen. Things were falling back into place; they were spending more time doing whatever Tsunade asked of them; they'd actually gotten team 7 together for a day, much to the surprise of their friends. It was like the last couple of years had never happened and it felt oddly surreal.
Sakura had made a couple visits on days where she wasn't working, despite the fact that she had originally been extremely angry upon learning of their relationship. It didn't take her long to get used to the idea of her teammates being together. When they asked why she accepted it so easily one night when they went out for dinner, and after a few drinks on her part, she told them, "I kind of always knew it would happen". That left two very shocked men standing with their mouths agape as the pink-haired woman walked home with a buzz.
That was also been the night Sasuke learned that the jutsu had worked. He'd been making it a point to not use his sharingan, but for some reason, he decided that it really wouldn't do any harm. To say he was surprised— shocked, happy, worried, afraid, completely uncharacteristic —was an understatement. Sasuke wasn't sure what to feel, if the look on his face was anything to go by.
"You alright?" Naruto asked, stepping out onto their small balcony. "You've been standing here for a while."
Sasuke blinked, his eyes growing soft as he looked down at himself. Opening his mouth to speak, he found he was at a loss of words. For the first time in his life, the great Sasuke Uchiha was rendered speechless.
"Hey." Naruto whined. "You're starting to freak me out."
"I... we," Sasuke mumbled, placing a shaky hand on his stomach as he looked up, charcoal eyes locked on pools of blue.
"Holy shit," Naruto said, closing the gap between their bodies. "Are you serious?"
Sasuke, who was finding it hard to stand, wrapped his other arm around Naruto and gently pressed their foreheads together, barely whispering, "we did it."
That night they celebrated.
Celebrated how far they'd come, how they'd grown up, how they'd gotten over their pasts and were moving forward into unknown territories. But mainly, they celebrated for them and the small life they created. They defied the odds and were making possible all the things they were told they couldn't do together.
"How did you find out?" Naruto asked.
"Activated sharingan," Sasuke answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I thought you weren't doing that anymore," the blond frowned.
"And? I just saved us a month's worth of not knowing," Sasuke told him, rolling onto his side and yawning. "I'm going to sleep."
Naruto made a small humming noise as he joined the raven, pressing their bodies together as he laid a hand atop Sasuke's on his stomach, their fingers laced. For the first time in a long while, they both fell asleep with thoughts of a brighter tomorrow and a family they would be able to call their own.
*NS*
They kept the news to themselves for the first month, save for telling Tsunade that conceived.
She blatantly told Naruto not to get his hopes too high. The last thing she wanted to deal with was a crying blond and his distraught boyfriend if something were to go wrong. Of course, this conversation was held without Sasuke.
"Listen, brat," she began, motioning for him to sit down beside her, "there's a reason why this particular jutsu is forbidden."
"Why?" he asked.
"It doesn't work the way it's supposed to," she explained.
"W-what?" his voice cracked.
"The last known subject to attempt it lost his life," she sighed heavily, "and the baby at birth. I've never heard of a case where both parent and child lived."
Naruto blanched; a look that he'd grown accustomed to wearing ever since Sasuke started with his morning sickness, which really should have been called 'I'm-sick-at-all-hours-of-the-day sickness'.
"Why did you tell us?!" he all but shouted, pounding his fists down on the desk that she was signing a document on.
"You wouldn't have listened anyway," she said. "You would've done it just to prove that you can. Am I right?"
Naruto had been caught like a deer in headlights. "Probably, b-but that's not the point! You kept this from us and now I'm going to lose him. Oh, God. What if I do? I just got him back and, and..."
"He's strong," Tsunade told him. "He'll get through it one way or another."
Naruto didn't know what to think as he returned home that evening, heart heavy and eyes red. He couldn't fathom the idea of losing Sasuke after he'd finally gotten him back; this wasn't supposed to happen. Too much time had been wasted in finding the raven, too much energy spent in fighting to get him home, too much... everything just to be told that it was all in vein.
How was he supposed to break this kind of news to Sasuke?
*NS*
In a twist of fate and nearly a week after his talk with Tsunade, Naruto had to watch as Sasuke crumbled on bathroom floor, a sob wrecking his body. He had to watch as the love of his life broke down over a life he hadn't known and he felt his heart break. Naruto didn't know what to do; he'd never dealt with something of this magnitude before.
How could he help Sasuke when he couldn't wrap his mind around what happened? What was he supposed to do? Naruto felt hopeless. The world was crashing around them and there was no one to pull them from its hellish reality. One that could have been prevented.
Naruto lowered Sasuke's exhausted body, placing him gently on the bed and pulling the blanket over him. At some point during Naruto's inner monologue in the bathroom, Sasuke's cries turned into soft hiccups as he slowly drifted to sleep in his boyfriend's arms. He wanted to join him, but he didn't know how the raven would take it when he woke up hours later.
Would he push Naruto away? Would he pull him close and hold onto him like he was the last person alive? Would he resort back to old methods in his moment of pain? Would he even be able to overcome this obstacle?
Naruto wasn't sure if he wanted to find out.
If he felt horrible with his heart shattered into tiny pieces on the bathroom floor then he was certain that Sasuke felt a hundred times worse. Their baby had been growing in him and it had been his body that rejected the fetus. It had to take a strong person to deal with that kind of loss and he wasn't sure that Sasuke could handle it, no matter how sure Tsunade sounded the last time they spoke.
The days following found Sasuke lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with silent tears and a promise to be better next time. Naruto couldn't believe he was already thinking about trying to carry a second time; if it had been him, he would've given up.
"What's wrong with me?" Sasuke asked one night, months down the road, when Naruto climbed into bed. He had started sleeping on his side, trying not to get too close to the raven in case he decided to murder him in his sleep for something he couldn't control.
"Nothing," was Naruto's barely audible response.
"You're lying," Sasuke said, rolling onto his side so that he could face the blond. "I want you to tell me the truth, Naruto. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing," he told him again, turning his head so that he could see Sasuke's face in the moonlight. "You're perfect."
"Hn. You're still lying." Sasuke told him. "I'm doing something wrong."
"Let's try again," Naruto whispered, breaking the uncomfortable silence that enveloped them.
"Seriously?" Sasuke questioned, his voice betraying his stone resolve.
"Yeah," Naruto confirmed, yawning softly. "I remember being told that we would try until we got it."
Sasuke rolled his eyes and gave a small, indignant huff. Naruto smiled for the first time in months.
Things would get better; they would be okay.
*NS*
It didn't take nearly as long to conceive the second time, though the sickness that Sasuke felt was much, much worse. He'd been taken off any missions, including light duty, until further notice. Not that he was complaining; he got to sit at home, watch television, eat enough for— "I'm eating for two, asshole! Stop your bitching!" —two, and give spend his time trying figure out what they're child would look and act like.
Sasuke had been thrilled when he made it past the third month and into his fourth, where his stomach was becoming more prominent. He could actually see the bump when he looked in the mirror (something he didn't experience with the first pregnancy), and his clothes were starting to become tighter. Sasuke resorted to wearing Naruto's baggy clothing, even if he hate the color orange. It was better than the constricted feeling he got when he wore his own.
"Hey," Naruto greeted him as he entered the apartment one night after finishing a mission, arching an eyebrow when he noticed that Sasuke was wearing one of his shirts.
"Hn," was the response given.
"You feeling okay?"
"Can you stop asking that?"
"Stop what? Asking if you feel alright?"
"Not when you sound like I'm going to break." Sasuke spat, pushing himself up from the couch and exiting the room with the slam of their bedroom door.
"The fuck?" Naruto asked the open air, confused.
Naruto wasn't sure he could deal with a hormonal Sasuke for another five months. He'd already been banned from sleeping in their room, in the bed he bought when he lived by himself, in the apartment he paid for. He couldn't touch— hadn't been allowed to since the second month —and he couldn't speak to Sasuke. Yeah, this pregnancy was beginning to take a toll on their relationship and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel about it.
It was no surprise that when Sasuke woke up the next morning, he found Naruto sitting on the couch, still awake, looking at pictures of them from when they were still part of team 7. Back when they had been young, naive, and ready to take on the world. If he'd known then what he'd learned the past few years, things would have played out differently. Still, that didn't stop him from sitting down beside his blond haired boyfriend.
"Hey," he whispered, earning a tired grunt in response.
"Look," Sasuke started, leaning back and bringing a hand to his stomach, "I'm sorry. I can't help it."
He knew that he was being completely unfair to the blond, but he couldn't help it. Sasuke wanted to blame the baby, because he was sure that his out of control hormones were the cause of their distance. Naruto would tell him to stop being stupid, that it wasn't the baby's fault and that he was being unrealistic. The blond would take all the fault, asking Sasuke to not worry about him or what he felt.
"Yeah," Naruto breathed, stacking the pictures up on one corner of the table. "I get it, no worries."
"I don't believe you," Sasuke told him, a signature smirk crawling onto his features as he turned his head to look at Naruto. The inevitable was starting; he would take all the blame. Sasuke didn't want that to happen so, using the only method he knew to be effective when the nine-tail vessel was down, he finished with, "they always said you weren't brightest".
Naruto blinked. So now they were back to petty grade-school insults?
"Uhuh," he mused.
"Seriously, what's bothering you?" Sasuke inquired, scooting closer to Naruto, their thighs brushing.
"And they said you were the genius," Naruto huffed. "Riiight."
"Can't you just talk to me?"
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Cut the shit, Naruto. Something's up. What is it?"
"I'm going to bed," the blond told him as he stood, combing a hand through his hair as he stalked off towards the bathroom. "I'll see you later. Night."
There would be a later, but he wouldn't be awake to enjoy it. Sasuke crept into the room, donning one of his old shirts— one that he hadn't worn in months —and slid into bed. Slowly, he maneuvered himself so that Naruto was within reach, but very much unattainable.
Sasuke leaned up, supporting his weight with one arm, elbow pressing into the bed below as his eyes scanned over Naruto's face. Gently, he placed his open palm against the other's cheek, his thumb making circles over the scarred skin. He traced the outline of his jaw, his fingers airily trailing across his lips and up to his eyes, where Naruto stirred slightly. Sasuke flinched, afraid that he had woken the blond up and not knowing when he was going to get another chance at seeing him without his guard up.
"You always were the stronger one," Sasuke mused before laying down beside his sleeping lover.
*NS*
When Sasuke miscarried for a second time, two weeks after their first non-actual argument, Naruto fell to the floor with him, strong arms holding him. They couldn't tell where one's tears started and the other's stopped, just that they were there and that they were very real.
Naruto sat with Sasuke as he sobbed and twisted the fabric of his shirt in the palms of his hands, asking him with a strained voice, "why? why me?". He couldn't offer the raven any words of comfort because he didn't know the answers; he didn't know why the world was against him— against them —and their dream of becoming parents. Naruto could only cry along with him, one hand placed on Sasuke's swollen stomach.
Like the last time, Naruto scooped him up bridal style and walked with his body to their bedroom, where he allowed him to sleep off his anguish. Watching him deal with this pain for a second time was more difficult; you never become accustomed to losing your own flesh and blood. Naruto didn't know if he take it for a third time.
He'd never been one to give up trying, but even this seemed like it was too much for both of them to handle. They'd kept both pregnancies a secret from their friends and prying eyes of the village, except for Tsunade, who was checking up on Sasuke's progress and had been doing so even thought she was dead set against the idea from the start. What was he supposed to do now? Was he to tell her that she'd been right from the start? Did he tell her that they were giving up?
They'd lost a second child; he couldn't lose another.
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and before they knew it, things were finally beginning to no longer look grey and pointless. Sasuke had a hard time dealing with the second loss and an even harder time dealing with losing the baby weight. All the questions directed towards how big he'd gotten weren't helping him any, either. They made it worse.
The comments made him realize that his body wasn't perfect, despite Naruto constantly telling him otherwise. They made him rethink his decision to stay in the village. No one really wanted him there; he was a monster, someone that killed for pleasure, someone created out of revenge that wasn't supposed to be given the things he'd been handed. People only wanted him around for their own selfish reasons of hoping to get close to him and he hated it. Hated what they wanted from him and what they thought he didn't deserve.
Sasuke wasn't supposed to have a family. Naruto wasn't supposed to love him. He wasn't supposed to be alive, and yet, he wanted those things more than he'd ever wanted anything else.
"I killed Itachi," Sasuke said one lazy night as they sat on the couch, an open book on his lap and the rain coming down hard outside. "I became strong enough to do that and take on Orochimaru, but I can't carry a child to term. Where does this make sense?"
Naruto looked over at him, brows furrowed, waiting for him to continue before he decided to talk.
"What kind of bullshit is this?" Sasuke asked him, closing his eyes. "I thought I'd gotten over it, but I haven't and I don't know what to do. Why can't I carry my child? Our child without fucking losing it?!"
Naruto sighed; he'd also thought that Sasuke was over it. Maybe not completely, but enough to know that he wasn't his fault. That some things just happened and they couldn't be explained.
"Sasuke, calm down." Naruto instructed, pushing himself off the couch so that he could stand in front of the hysterical raven.
"I am calm," he said, digging his nails into the palms of his hands.
"You aren't," the blond started, grabbing Sasuke's hands and emphasizing his point as he held them up, small lines of blood seeping from the indents, "you need to stop doing this to yourself. It's not healthy."
"What do you know?" Sasuke inquired, looking up at him, eyes red and full of anger; he didn't know if it was directed at himself or Naruto. "You don't know what it feels like, Naruto. You don't know how it feels knowing that one minute there's life and the next it's gone. You don't get to tell me that I'm okay, or that I need to calm down, because you don't get it."
Sasuke's eyes were wide and he was shaking; this is what he'd been waiting for. Naruto wanted him to crack, needed him to break under the pressure he'd set for himself. There was no way they could get around it and try to mend their relationship otherwise.
"I don't understand, but," he said, crouching down so that he was at Sasuke's seated level, bright eyes swimming with tears, "I was there with you both times. I hurt, too, Sasuke. It might be different from what you feel, but it's there. I helped you created both those little lives and I was there when they were taken away, so don't tell me how I fucking feel."
"Man up and deal, Sasuke. It isn't going to get any easier and this isn't going to bring our children back. They're gone." Naruto winced at his choice of words. "The only thing we can do is forget this happened or try again, and so help me God, Sasuke, you will not be carrying next time." Naruto said, his voice wavering and tears trailing down his face.
Sasuke sat, stunned and silent. Black orbs watched as Naruto's strong demeanor fell to a pile of broken sobs over the lives lost and a relationship he wanted so badly to fix. It was apparent that Naruto wasn't ready to give up and all Sasuke could do was nod.
*NS*
It had been a month after their mutual breakdown before something happened, and even though he was expecting it, Naruto wasn't sure what to think. It had been different when it was Sasuke carrying their child, but with it growing in its tiny bundle of protective chakra inside his body, Naruto honestly didn't know what to feel. He knew it was there, he could sense it, even though he was far too early to have been able to tell.
Sasuke was constantly on his case, trying to find out any information about what he was going through. If he'd conceived, if they had to keep trying, if his body was even suited to take the jutsu without rejecting it first. The blond didn't tell him anything, instead asking him to pay extra attention to detail and telling him that if he did then he might get his desired outcome.
Two months had gone by, putting Naruto close to the third month, when he decided to break the ice. Earlier in the day he talked Sasuke into taking a mission Tsunade tried giving him, and with some convincing, his black haired boyfriend agreed. Of course, he found it odd that Naruto didn't want to do his own work and he considered using his sharingan to find out if Naruto was with child. He didn't, opting to do the mission with thoughts of 'he's doing this for us' and waiting until the blond was ready to tell him he was pregnant, if he was.
When Sasuke returned home that evening, he got the surprise of a lifetime when he was greeted with a warm smile and Naruto reaching out to grab his hand so that he could place it against his clothed midsection. Black eyes widened, glistening with tears. Sasuke barely had the door shut behind him when he fell to his knees, his hands immediately pushing Naruto's shirt up to reveal the small curve of his bump.
He couldn't remember what happened after that. Sasuke had taken him to bed, being extra careful and more attentive than usual, and crying against Naruto's shoulder as he thrust into his body. Every touch, every kiss, every word, every sound, from Naruto was like heaven to Sasuke and he wanted to prolong his momentary ecstasy for as long as he could.
"Hey," Naruto poked his side, looking over at him.
"Yeah?" Sasuke muttered.
"I'm going to tell you this one time," the blond said, inhaling deeply before continuing, "don't get your hopes up until I make it past the fifth month. I talked to Tsunade today and she said if anyone could do this, I can."
"She's right, you know," Sasuke murmured, pulling Naruto's body toward him, after he stopped to let the woman's words set in.
The fourth month came with much puking. Sasuke even asked Naruto one afternoon how he dealt with his morning sickness. Naruto smacked him on the back of the head, telling him that he put up with it because he loved him.
"Loved? As in past tense?" Sasuke questioned.
"Love, as in present tense." Naruto retorted, slinking his arms around Sasuke and pressing their bodies together as much as he could with his growing bulge in the way.
Sasuke smiled— something he'd been doing a lot of —and brought a hand down to rest upon his stomach. He vaguely wondered when he was going to be able to feel it movie and if Naruto would even let him feel. He remembered not knowing how it felt and being very afraid to let his blond lover touch him in case something went wrong. He didn't want Naruto to get too attached if he screwed something up; this was something he never told the nine-tail vessel.
Naruto's cravings became more intense as the month progressed, and before they knew it, they were creeping through the fifth month and into the start of the sixth month. When they realized that they'd made it past the point of no return, they both let out a very deep breath they didn't know they were holding.
"It's kicking," Naruto said softly one evening before stepping into the shower. He had his shirt off, which was a rare thing, as he'd increasingly become more self-conscious. Naruto hated the seal on his stomach, and now that it was becoming distressed as he grew, he was beginning to hate it even more. It wasn't his stomach that he hated, because he couldn't be mad at his body for making sure it was big enough to house his— their —child.
Sasuke stared at him, eyes taking in the sight he hardly ever got see, as the blond walked slowly over to where he sat on the bed. "Can I?"
"Duh," he rolled his eyes.
Sasuke lifted both his hands and softly pressed them against his stretched skin, moving them around and feeling the small bit of chakra seeping through. The color was off, he noted, recalling the one time he decided to use sharingan to tell him the sex of the child. It didn't work out the way that he assumed it would. Either the baby didn't want to be found out or the fox was purposely keeping it from them.
"That's so weird," Sasuke muttered when he finally felt it kick against his hand, eyes automatically darting up to catch azure orbs.
"You think it's weird? Try feeling it from my point of view," Naruto told him, almost instantly regretting his words when Sasuke froze. "I didn't mean it like that..."
"I know," Sasuke whispered.
Naruto had been put on bed rest in the middle of the seventh month; orders given by Tsunade after he lost his balance in her office one morning. She'd never been more scared in her life and she wasn't sure if it was because he actually fell or because she would have to deal with Sasuke when he found out about the accident. Both of which turned out to be okay; Naruto didn't do any internal damage and the baby was fine, if not more lively than it had been before. And Sasuke, he'd been angry upon hearing the news, but he quickly got over it when Naruto told him that the kid wouldn't stop moving.
Sasuke was a total sucker for feeling it kick, apparently. Naruto never would have guessed. Or, maybe it had to do with what he missed out on, in which case, the blond really couldn't blame him because it was an amazing thing once you got past feeling horrible most of the time, the odd cravings, constantly being horny, and not being able to see your own feet.
"What do you say about moving into the manor?" Sasuke asked him one day as he trying to get out of bed so that he could pee.
"W-what?" Naruto sputtered, looking at him like he had three heads.
"The manor. You know, where I grew up?"
"I know what it is, bastard!"
"What do you think about moving there?" Sasuke asked again, coming up behind him and pressing a feathery kiss to his shoulder. "It has more room for a kid to grow up in, and maybe a sibling or two. " Sasuke said, preparing himself to be smacked for even implying that Naruto have to endure another pregnancy.
"Okay," Naruto said, shrugging his shoulders and not giving it much thought as he awkwardly wriggled our of Sasuke's hold, "but first I really have to pee."
*NS*
The fist time Sasuke had the pleasure of seeing Naruto that day was before he was ordered out on a small mid-day mission. The blond had been hyped up, full of more energy than he'd had in a long time, and it surprised the hell out of them both. Naruto called this his nesting phase, something he'd read about in one of the many parenting books Tsunade instructed they read.
Also, the day Sakura bought Kakashi over for lunch one lazy afternoon, the pink-haired woman talked more it. Answering any questions he had related to the topic.
Of course, on that particular day, Kakashi turned into nearly every person that he knew or hung out with on a regular basis before Sasuke came along and turned his life upside down with a not so simple request. It was a good thing they'd finally moved into the manor, otherwise there would have been no room for anyone, literally. Most people would have been awkwardly standing on the balcony or on the porch outside the front door. That wouldn't have worked out very well.
"Oi, Sakura!" Naruto yelled over everyone else in the room, gathering not just her attention, but everyone else's as well. He had been sitting in the kitchen with Hinata and Ino, listening on the gossip that was going around. Some of it he found entertaining, while the rest he just rolled his eyes at.
Sakura peered over Hinata's shoulder, eyes widening at the panicked expression crossing his face. "Yeah?"
"It hurts," he said, gritting his teeth, remembering once that Tsunade told him the kid would come at any time after his eighth month. It wasn't a traditional pregnancy and the child probably wouldn't make it to term. Upon hearing that news Naruto's heart sunk, but she quickly made amends by telling him that it would survive.
Sakura shouted for everyone to clear out and make a path so that she could get him out of the manor and to the hospital without any trouble, ordering someone to locate Sasuke and inform him that he had another mission to attend to.
The second time Sasuke had the pleasure of seeing Naruto that day was when he rushed into the operating room, scrubs on and stupid smile plastered on his face. Naruto looked at him, blue eyes half-lid and thoroughly drugged, without a care in the world.
Sasuke knew the moment he heard the soft cries of his child that everything they'd gone through to get to that point had been worth it and the reward was far greater than he ever expected.
i apologize to anyone that wanted the sex of the child or the name, but i wanted to that up to you guys. it is epilogue compliant, so maybe i'll add a little something extra if it strikes my fancy. perhaps a name for the child or an idea of something they go through as new parents. i don't know.
anyway, i hope it wasn't too horrible for my first time with these guys, though it was slightly rushed.
review, please? thank you.
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