From That Moment, I Understood.
Wow, thanks for reading my works everyone! I've been a RivaMika shipper for the longest time and your support is giving me courage to write more :D I love you guys and thank you so much! I'm so happy that you appreciate it as well!
I actually dreamt half of this, so I decided to put it all together!
Enjoy~ ^.^
"Please, save my daughter! Leave me before a Titan appears," the woman cried as Mikasa carried a crying little girl in her arms.
There were too many Titans invading the district and Commander Pixis ordered a retreat of all soldiers.
"No!" Mikasa shouted back, the child now clinging at her back, arms around her neck. She desperately removed the stacks of wooden beams and stones to save a woman beneath the rubble. "I'm not leaving you!"
The woman was the mother of the child Mikasa was carrying.
The ground shook as heavy footsteps started to come closer. Mikasa looked forward to see a Titan turn a corner and craned its neck towards their direction. Smiling, the Titan began to walk towards them.
"Just save her! That's all I'm asking," the woman continued to cry. She did not want to be leave her daughter but she valued her life more than her own.
With extraordinary strength and determination, Mikasa lifted the wooden beams. The woman gazed in awe; awe that a young girl her age could be capable of such a feat.
She was gasping and panting heavily, keeping her emotions in check as each step the Titan took shook the ground. Her fingernails digging into the wood, bleeding and full of splinters but she continued on. She would not leave this woman. No, she would not let this little girl suffer the same fate she herself did.
With the last ounce of her strength and a loud grunt, Mikasa pushed a boulder, rolling down the ground, and the woman was finally free. The Titan was just a few feet away, already bending to pick up the woman when Mikasa grasped her hand and dragged her out of the rubble.
The Titan got angry and slammed a heavy fist down the rubble, causing chunks of debris to fly towards their direction. She curled the woman and child within her chest, protecting them from the blast with her back and the present green cloak. She felt the debris hit her back and a particular brick hit her temple, forming a deep scratch and drawing blood.
Mikasa turned around, preparing herself to terminate the Titan when she saw a strike of green and before she can apprehend what was going on, the Titan had its nape sliced and fell backwards.
Looking up at the roof of the western building, she spots Corporal Levi.
"Ackerman," he approached her, giving her a look of disapproval. "We were supposed to retreat to the walls 10 minutes ago. An order from Commander Pixis." He paused and saw a child clinging to a woman behind her.
The situation dawned on him.
"I apologize, Sir," Mikasa stated, though not feeling sorry at all. "This woman needed help. I could not leave her."
"Tch," he responded to her half-ass apology. Of course the brat wasn't sorry, she would save anyone that needed help.
Noticing the dripping blood on her temple, Levi took off his cravat and gently pressed it against her head. "Always defying orders."
Mikasa stood in silence, surprised by his gesture.
After he had finished cleaning the wound, he silently tells himself to let someone take a look at it later, "Let's go back to the wall."
At the top of the wall, Mikasa gazed at the defeated district. Another home was destroyed by the Titans…
"Thank you."
Mikasa turned around and saw the woman smile at her, her child clinging at her foot, smiling at her as well.
"I'm so happy there are soldiers like you," the woman approached her and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. "What you've been through… I can only offer my sympathy," she said sadly. "I don't think we can ever repay you."
"Thank you, Big Sis," the little girl hugged her legs tightly, and then she let go and grinned. "I want to become strong just like you when I grow up."
She stared at the mother and child.
Giving a soft smile, Mikasa simply gave a salute.
After saying their goodbyes, she turned to look at the sun setting, the sky bleeding orange. The world was indeed cruel, yet beautiful.
She didn't notice the pair of steel eyes watching her from afar.
Mikasa met up with the rest of the Special-Ops Squad at the base of the inner wall within the town. Everyone was relieved to see her, Sasha running (sniffling and screaming "Mikasa!") and clinging to her, while she laughed quietly.
"You gave us a scare, Mikasa," Jean scowled slightly, but nonetheless relieved. "When you didn't show up after the order of retreat, we were worried that…"
"Oi," Eren snapped at him punching his shoulder. "Don't even think of that."
The Corporal rejoined them after his briefing with Commander Pixis and the group was about to walk towards the military base within the district to refuel their gas before heading back to headquarters.
Mikasa walked silently behind, her thoughts wandering from the events earlier today.
Seeing the woman trapped beneath the rubble brought up unwanted memories that had been locked away. The scene was all too familiar to her.
As the thought of her father's dead body flashed in her mind, she stopped walking, clutching her head with one hand.
The memory of her mother being murdered flashed in her mind.
"Mikasa, run away!" were the last words that flew out of her mother's mouth before being slaughtered mercilessly.
"Please, save my daughter! Leave me…"
Then the memory of her other mother, Eren's mother…
She was trapped beneath the rubble. Her legs crushed… even if she were saved, she could not run as the Titans started to enter the town through the breached hole. Fingernails with blood, fingers with wooden splinters trying to lift the heavy beams… they were only children… powerless…
"Eren! Mikasa! You two need to live on!"
She heard their mother's last whisper… "Don't go…"
The smiling Titan picked her up and simply ate her, blood raining down from the sky…
She felt a churn of her stomach, unease.
"Ackerman…"
A deep masculine voice entered her mind.
The person with the same voice shook her shoulders vigorously, "Mikasa, snap out of it."
Her head snapping up, she was met with the worried eyes of her Corporal. Feeling something rise up her throat, she clasped her mouth and ran to the alleyway at her right, vomiting the contents of this morning's breakfast.
She didn't notice the tears spilling over her cheeks, or the broken sobs that escaped her, or the fact that the Corporal was just staring at her. He had never seen her so… vulnerable. Every day she would have this impassive nature, a titan-killing machine, yet right now he sees a broken girl, the bottle breaking as all her pent up emotions flow out.
Walking towards her and ignoring the smell of spew, he placed a hand on her back, rubbing it gently.
The rest of the squad members stared at them at the opening of the alleyway.
It was dinnertime. The mess hall was packed with tired and hungry soldiers. The odds were in the Scouting Legion's favor; there were no casualties within the soldiers today so that brought up the atmosphere a little bit.
The rest of the squad members were eating dinner, while Mikasa claimed she was not hungry. Taking an early shower, she was about to head to her room when Corporal Levi stopped her from the hallway.
He led her to his room, offering tea, which she accepts gratefully.
She takes a sip, feeling her stomach ease more comfortably than before. Maybe it was the effect of the tea, or maybe it was the Corporal's gesture. It did not matter; she felt thankful regardless.
After a few moments of silence, he spoke up, his voice slightly rough as he had to clear his throat.
"Are you feeling any better?"
The question surprised Mikasa. Since when did the Corporal care about her well-being? Although the tea did its job… emotionally, she wasn't feeling better at all.
Seeing no point in lying, she gave the honest truth. "No… I don't think it'll get better…" she responded quietly, then took a sip of her tea.
The Corporal stared at the enigma in front of him. He wanted to know what was going through her head, so that he can understand her more. Reading her file wasn't going to help anything.
"You disobeyed the retreat order… I should be giving you punishment," he stated bluntly. "But, I'm sure you always have a reason whenever you defy an order."
Mikasa lifted her scarf to her nose and muffled, "I needed to save them." Her gray eyes looked away, towards the window where the sky was getting darker, "That is all."
There was a screech of his chair. She looked back at him, startled by the close proximity as he tilted his head, leaning against the desk and staring deep into her eyes, "… I think there's more to that. And unless you don't get it off your chest, you'll always end up spewing it out."
She sighed, closing her eyes. But what surprised Levi was that it wasn't an annoyed sigh, it was a pained, sad sigh… as if she was about to cry again. "It just… It looked all too familiar."
She opened her tearful gray eyes, a hint of red on the rims, stared at him and the words spilled out like her cries before, "I saw that little girl, kneeling in front of the rubble and her mother was begging her to run. I couldn't leave her, or her mother. I didn't want that child to suffer the same fate I did… and to hear that child say she wanted to become like me… No, I wouldn't want her to do that. I'm not good. I'm broken. I'm not strong. I'm reckless. I'm selfish, taking things upon myself because I know others won't do a better job that I would. I don't feel anything whenever I kill… I'm a monster."
Levi sat back in his chair, in silence. It was the longest response he had ever heard from her. He processed her words, this girl… He had never seen a person have a strong sense of will and purpose before, and yet she doesn't see that.
"You're wrong," he opposed quite strongly. "You see yourself as selfish, you're wrong because in truth, you're selfless. You put the lives of others before your own. Most people only look out to save their own fucking skin: that's the world and reality we live in today. You're not a monster because the only monsters around here are those fucking Titans eating people. Yeah, you're reckless, but don't you dare say you're not strong. Out of all my years in the Legion and in the underground, I've never seen anyone have a stronger will than you, Mikasa. Your will is strong enough to save people's lives, don't you see that? That's pretty damn amazing, in my opinion."
Mikasa stared at the Corporal, and he realized she was crying again. Her cheeks flushed, lips pursed…
"Don't give me that look," Levi snapped, a little embarrassed by his speech and feeling a slight flutter in his chest. He wasn't the sentimental type, but he didn't know what this girl was doing to him.
Handing her a napkin, she wipe her eyes and gave him an endearing smile.
"Thank you for your words, Corporal," she said it with the utmost sincerity.
At that moment, Levi understood her: how and why she was strong. At that moment, he felt the urge to protect her, to take care of her because she could not take care of herself.
They spent the rest of their evening in comfortable silence, not once bickering at each other.
…My goodness this was long. I will be updating in a few days again! Thanks for reading! =^.^=