He had sent a supposedly honest man to the chair.
He had killed a man of the Clergy.
He had pointed his gun at a teenager. He had shot a man in front of said boy.
He had left a man for dead in the woods.
He had shot his formerly loyal partner and best friend.
He had passed himself off as a drug addict.
Hell, he had even cooked a meal.
He had never questioned the President's judgment. Until now. Who would have thought a professional murderer had other things than his own best interests at heart? Special Agent Kellerman wouldn't.
It is amazing how one can fool himself so much.
Truth is Paul Kellerman had never done a thing for himself. As a child, he'd aced his tests for his mother. As a near-adult, he'd taken classes at Quantico to follow his best friend. When hired at Caroline Reynolds' service, he'd become the best in order to please her. He admired her. He even loved her, like a dog loves its master. He would do horrible deeds and her smile would be his reward.
She said "roll over". He rolled over. She said "pull the trigger", he pulled the trigger.
Then she became the President, and she got busy. But still, he listened. She said "watch Tancredi's daughter", and so he did. But this time, Caroline wasn't here to smile at him for being such a good boy, Sara was.
And yet he tortured her. He'd chosen the sweetest way but it was still torture. She hadn't given up. He'd been mad at her for making him do this but he would have been disappointed if she'd given away her secret. She was tough, he respected her for that.
So when, by President's orders, he was kindly asked to put an end to Sara Tancredi's life, Paul Kellerman found himself questioning Caroline Reynolds's judgment for the first time. But he followed through with the plan. He didn't put a bullet in her head. He couldn't do that. He left her to die in the bathtub and he turned on the TV loud enough so that nobody would hear her drown, especially him.
And she got away.
And he was almost glad. Almost.
You see, Paul Kellerman doesn't exist. Agent Kellerman does. Or so he thought. He thought his essence resided in his status of pro murderer. He thought he needed to kill, while he just needed someone to kill for.
So when his license to kill was removed, all he wanted was to get it back. Then he decided that some things were more important. He decided to set himself free. By shooting Agent Mahone, he turned his back on the on the President.
Paul Kellerman decided he would no longer be at anybody's beck and call.
It is amazing how one can fool himself so much.
The President never ruined his life. He had no life to ruin.
He didn't do this for himself, he pulled the trigger for Her.
Sara Tancredi's smile would be his reward.