Note: I don't own the characters or the universe.
Warning: Very depressing subject. Read at own risk. An idea I thought about writing about before 5x07 but didn't actually feel like writing until now. Just feel like sharing because why not. Will continue.
Everything just keeps moving. The world hasn't stopped rotating. People just keep on going. They stand at the bar waiting for a chance to get Angus' attention. They play darts and laugh with friends while ordering another round. They set up another game of pool while talking about their days. They just keep going. Everything just keeps going. Everyone in the bar could die in an instant and life would go on around them. Car accidents. Jealous lovers. Fist fights. Disgruntled criminals. Stray bullets. Anything could happen.
"Life. Who needs it?" Gail mumbled to herself in the back corner of the Black Penny. She was slouched in a booth seat, her head resting on the top of the seat back so she could watch everyone milling around living their lives.
"What'd you say, Gail?" asked Traci. The detective was sitting next to her in the booth with Steve sitting across from them.
"I need another drink."
"Trish just brought the one you're…" Traci stopped when she watched Gail down the glass of whiskey and coke in a few gulps. "…never mind. Gail, sweetie. I think you've had enough."
"She's right," added Steve. "You've been drinking since we got here. I don't think it's healthy to have this many empty shot glasses at a table. Even for you."
"You're probably right," said Gail. She managed to push herself to her feet without stumbling. Before moving to leave though, Gail picked up the drink in front of her brother and knocked it back with barely a gasp for air. After throwing a couple of $20s on the table she saluted her brother and headed to the exit. The world was spinning around her but she was actually pretty proud of how well she managed to walk out the doors and into the windy night air. It wasn't until she was out the door and looking around that she realized she didn't have a ride. "Fuck."
Between the way she felt and the alcohol slowly replacing her blood, she found herself unable to move. She just stood there outside the Black Penny. Life was going on behind her the way it always would. A light hand on her shoulder brought Gail crashing back to the moment, away from the life behind the door. She looked over to see Chloe standing next to her, a small smile and furrowed brows. Worried. Chloe looked worried.
"Hey," said Chloe softly.
"Hey."
"You need a ride?" Normally Gail would immediately refuse but not tonight. She just wanted to get home and calling a cab was out of the question. A small nod and Chloe's gentle hands were leading Gail to her car and into the passenger seat.
When they pulled up to Gail's apartment, Chloe parked and turned to Gail. The blonde slowly turned her head to meet her eyes.
"Are you okay? You look really…"
"Just peachy," said Gail quickly forcing a smile. "I just. Drank a little too much. You know me. Crazy alcohol lovin' Gail."
Chloe looked really skeptical but nodded. Neither of the women moved.
"Thanks for the ride, Chloe." Gail found herself reaching over and resting a hand on Chloe's. "I mean it. You're…you're a great person, Chloe. Happy Birthday."
With a pat of her hand, Gail climbed out of the car and headed to the building. On her way up to the apartment, Gail thought about how she probably scared the crap out of Chloe but she just wasn't in the mood to be "Gail" anymore. The social awkwardness. The biting sarcasm. She just wanted to be someone else. Someone more like Chloe or Sophie.
They were both just so open to the world. They weren't afraid to show their feelings to the people around them and they carried themselves with the kind of confidence Gail had to fake on a regular basis just to make it through the day.
Gail Peck just didn't want to be Gail Peck anymore. It was too much work.
When the elevator reached her floor the doors opened to reveal Dov.
"Hey," said Dov, barley looking up to catch her eye.
"Hey," mirrored Gail, attempting some sense of normalcy through the drunken haze.
Life just kept going. People just kept moving.
The apartment was empty when she got there. Of course it was. She raided the kitchen for her hidden bottle of whiskey and headed to her room, locking the door behind her. With a dull thud she threw herself into a sitting position on her bed and looked around her room. Clothes piled up, papers on the floor, and a uniform hanging from the closet door. Gail took a mouth full of whiskey and shook her head when she swallowed it all down.
Always remember who you are.
Work harder than everyone else.
Don't screw up.
Another mouthful of whiskey down, this time with a chaser. Through the growing fog she pulled out her phone. She scrolled through a few pictures. The gang. Sophie. Holly. Her family. Then she sent one message. Only one.
Her eyelids closed. Everything kept moving. She slumped over in the bed. The world kept turning. The vibrating phone slipped from her hand. People just kept going.