When they were finally alone, Jim could hardly bring himself to meet Bones's eyes. He felt the bed dip as his lover sat next to him. A warm hand covered his and squeezed.

"Jim."

He opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. How can I say I'm sorry? I'm not. I know I did the right thing. But I can only imagine how much it hurt him.

"I only have one question for you. Why didn't you tell Scotty or Spock to call me?"

Jim blinked back tears. "That's an easy one, Bones. You would have come in after me."

Bones huffed. "I suppose that's true."

Jim squeezed his hand back. "Didn't want you to die with me."

"I did, Jim. God knows I did. When I saw you on the table … I thought I couldn't take another breath."

A sob wrenched itself from Jim's throat.

Strong arms wrapped around him and held him close. "I lost you, and I couldn't bear it. I know that you did what you had to in order to save us, but … Goddamnit, don't you ever do that again, y'hear?"

Jim let himself get lost in the warmth and the sound of Bones's heartbeat. It helped chase away the memory of the darkness.

One of Bones's hands wrapped gently around his neck, and Jim had no doubt that Bones was reassuring himself by feeling his pulse. And then, a wave of guilt crashed over him. "Sorry! I'm so - so fucking sorry, Bones. I should have at least - should've commed you - said I loved you -"

"Shhh, darlin'. It's all right. Don't talk like that now. It's over."

"No, but - I-I should've -"

"It's all right, Jimmy. I know what you would have said to me. But you had things you had to wrap up with Spock. I understand, darlin'. I'm not mad; I'm just glad I have you back -" His voice cut off with a harsh sob, and he pulled Jim impossibly closer. Jim felt the heaving breaths and hard shudders as he fought to control himself. "I love you, Jim. So much."

"Love you, Bones," Jim whispered.

The room went quiet as they cried in each other's arms.

Bones kissed Jim's forehead. "You need to rest. You're still healing."

Jim managed to shake his head.

Bones stroked his hair soothingly and rocked them back and forth. "I'll be here, darlin'. Just rest."

It felt like only seconds later when Jim awoke with a shout. He kept seeing Spock and Scotty on the other side of the glass, and he was dying -

Strong fingers gripped his chin. "Jim!"

Jim blinked until Bones's face came into focus. "Bones?"

"Just a dream, darlin'. You're safe. C'mere." Bones drew him close, letting him snuggle up against his chest and pulling a blanket over his shaking shoulders. "Not gonna let anything happen to you, Jim. It's all right."

Jim woke screaming twice more. Each time, Bones was there to hold him and bring him back to the present.

When he woke the third time, it was to the sound of Bones yelling. It took a couple tries before Bones responded to him and woke from his own nightmare. He folded Jim in his arms and sobbed into his shoulder. Jim hugged him back with all the strength he could muster. He was glad that there was no brigade of nurses and doctors rushing in, and he wondered if Bones had given them a heads up.

Jim reached for Bones's hand, kissed his palm and then pressed it to his chest, reassuring his lover with the strength of his heartbeat.

Bones settled in the dim light of the room, holding Jim close with his other arm. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Jim whispered. His eyes slipped shut.

"Maybe I should go -"

"NO! Don't leave me, Bones," Jim gasped, clinging onto him. "Please -"

"Shhh, darlin'. I won't. I'll stay right here. Take it easy, Jim. Just breathe."

Jim couldn't stop shaking.

Bones cursed quietly, rearranging the blankets back over him and holding tight. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Of course I won't leave you, darlin'. I've got you."

"Don't wanna be alone, Bones," Jim whispered. "Just keep seeing it … and the dark …"

"I've got you, Jimmy. I'm right here. You're not alone."

"K-Keep talking?"

Bones kissed him softly. "You got it."

Jim let the sound of Bones's voice lull him back to sleep. This time, it was easier to remember he wasn't alone.

"Sometimes something terrible happens, so unspeakable. But the next day, the sun comes up, the air feels good, and you're alive." - seaQuest DSV