All the World's a Stage

A One-Shot by Tifa Tyndal

Summery: All the world's a stage and the cast of Inuyasha are only actors.

Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha... I don't imagine that I'd have to wash my own dishes. But as for now... the dishes are calling.

Spoiler Warning: Uhm... I'm lost. If you gotten to a character named Kagura then you probably won't be spoiled... it's not like any of this is true...

Quick Author's Note: This is based on a quotation from one of William Shakespeare's plays. You don't need to know who he is or have read or watched his plays to enjoy this though! Oh, and for anyone who may be wondering when I'm going to update "Give Me a Break" or "Hair Excursions" let's just say I'm working on them. My muse has not been nice lately.

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"All the world 's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts" - As You Like It (Act II, Scene VII)

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"You're not serious!" Inuyasha yelled at the young woman who was glaring him down.

"I am perfectly serious, it'd work, ya'know," The young woman said, chewing gum lethargically.

"But I look nothing like him! Do you know what'll happen if they find out? It'll ruin it!" Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. "I'm not doing it."

"You're perfect for it, I'm sure Kagome will agree," The woman didn't seemed fazed by the taller male.

Inuyasha took a deep breath. He had to deal with these type of people every day... he really should have some tactic to get his way stuck in the corner of his mind. "Betsy, I really don't look like him."

The girl now identified as Betsy sighed, "We have some really awesome make-up artists ya'know. And our special effects guys are top notch. You know all that."

Inuyasha proceeded to cross his arms in the classic pouting gesture. "How much money did you say I'd get paid extra?"

Betsy rolled her eyes, "Enough."

Before Inuyasha could lash out with some derogatory statement Kagome came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Oh, hi, Kagome." He said patting her arms in a familiar manner.

"Ya, know, it's not that bad," Kagome said matter-of-factly. "Playing two parts that is. I don't really mind being both Kagome and Kikyo especially since they hired a stunt double for all the hard scenes. I'm sure they'll do the same for you."

Betsy nodded, keeping her eyes on her clipboard as she scribbled/wrote furiously on it. "We've already got one lined up."

"See?" Kagome soothed as she fingered Inuyasha's long black hair. "It won't be so bad."

Inuyasha seemed to consider this. "I still don't like the idea..."

"Wonderful!" Betsy quickly took that as a yes and scurried off.

Inuyasha again sighed deeply. "I'm beginning to think that our director's a nut."

Kagome released him and went to sit on a cloth chair. "Aren't they all?"

"Hnh," Was Inuyasha's monosyllabic response.

"Come on, the person that she wanted you to play can't be that bad. I mean Sesshomaru has to play both Sesshomaru and all the humanoid demon extras." Kagome tried to cheer her co-worker up. "And then there was the time when Miroku had to play Hojo, remember?"

Inuyasha chuckled at the memory. "He was way too used to his role as the perverse monk. 'Hojo' never looked so happy to see all his female classmates. We were all glad when the real Hojo's wife got out of the hospital."

"See?" Kagome crossed her jean-clad legs. "It can be fun!"

"What can?" Shippo came bounding up, wearing black pants and a T-shirt that said 'I may be cute but I pack a punch'.

"Playing two parts," Kagome filled him in. "Inuyasha agreed to being someone other than Inuyasha."

"Ooh, multiple personality disorder. I thought we agreed not to check ourselves into psycho wards." Shippo teased, sitting on Inuyasha's head.

"Hush, Shippo," Kagome laughed. "He's sensitive about that."

"It was a stupid publicity stunt!" Inuyasha just about blew up at the small boy. "I didn't even know Haley was doing it until Miss. You're-never-famous-enough had already made me sign the papers."

Kagome giggled at the name he used for his ex-agent. That was an episode she never wanted to forget. Betsy had actually stormed the rehab and dragged Inuyasha out like a sack of potatoes. The press was never so confused.

"It can't be that bad. I think it'd be cool! You get to have a twin!" Shippo chimed jumping into Kagome's lap.

"Easy for you to say, you've never had to play two parts," Inuyasha grumbled.

Shippo stuck out his tongue for a moment before declaring, "That's because I'm so unique!"

"And odd looking," Inuyasha muttered under his breath.

Shippo glared. "Tell that to the writers of all my beautiful fan letters!"

"You mean the ones written by six and seven year olds in crayon?" Inuyasha smirked at Shippo's reddening face.

Shippo coughed, "Well, they're at least better than the hundred and one 'I'll bear your child's that Miroku get everyday."

Kagome snorted rather unladylike manner, "At least now he's not at a loss for dates. Too bad he's married."

This brought another hint of a smile onto Inuyasha's scowling face, "At least Koga's enjoying the celebrity treatment."

"Yeah, where is that bozo this time?" Shippo wondered good naturedly.

"Another press meeting," Kagome leaned back with a sigh. "The press agent wanted someone from the show to answer questions about life on set."

"Sango go with 'im?" Inuyasha asked.

Kagome nodded, "She's the best with the press after all."

"Hello, my friends!" A voice behind them made them all roll their eyes. Here she came.

Kagura bounded up and wrapped her arms around Kagome and Shippo from behind. "How's are you on this wonderful day?"

"You make me wish commercials didn't exist," Inuyasha grumbled at the airhead-y tone she used.

"They said I needed to get into character!" Kagura's smile grew to the umpteenth level.

"Good job," Kagome said slowly, tapping her foot on the concrete. "But careful, your face may freeze that way."

Kagura's smile suddenly dropped and she heaved a half-sigh half-chuckle and sat on a nearby rock prop. "I hate commercials too." She complained.

"That's the Kagura we all know and love!" Shippo exclaimed patting Kagura's knee. "You'll do fine in the commercial. Just think happy."

"It's hard to think happy when my face is in agony from trying to show my 'sparkling while teeth' to the general public." Kagura groaned slipping further down in her chair.

"Aw, you've got nothing on Sesshomaru," Inuyasha pointed out. "He still tells horror stories about the shampoo commercial he did. He says his head was sore for weeks."

Kagome tossed her head and said jokingly, "At least I don't have any distinguishing features that people can try to advertise!"

Inuyasha snorted, "Yeah, but exactly how many archery commercials have you done?"

Kagome lowered her eyes and mumbled something illegible.

"What was that?" Inuyasha teased.

Kagome grumbled even lower and wouldn't meet Inuyasha's eyes.

"I didn't quite catch that," Shippo climbed in her lap to look up at her lowered face.

"I know how many," Kagura said mischievously.

"Oh? Do tell," Inuyasha sounded way too eager for Kagome's comfort.

"Kagome's agent was just so proud of his wonderful client," Kagura placed her hand dramatically over her heart. "'Dear Kagome has done six archery commercials in five different countries! She's already a household name!'"

Kagome glared daggers at Kagura before letting out a tiny smile, "Marcy gets a little too excited sometimes."

"Talk about it," Shippo said. "Did you know that she offered to be my agent also?"

Kagome laughed, "Now I know she wasn't serious. She's not that great with children."

"Tell that to my current agent," Shippo stared at the sky. "Sado was so mad they argued for a whole fifteen minutes until I threatened to fire them both."

"But Marcy doesn't even work for you," Kagura mentioned.

"I think it was the word 'fire' that did them both in," Shippo chuckled.

"Kagura!" A little girl with white pigtails came bouncing over to the small group. "They want us for a photo shoot!"

Kagura sighed and put on a half-smile. "Coming, Kanna! Wish me luck." She mumbled to the group of actors as she followed Kanna.

"How're we gonna do photo shoots if I play two parts!" Inuyasha exclaimed as if the thought had just occurred to him.

Kagome rolled her eyes, "Have you forgotten that a little device called a computer exists? I'm sure someone will come up with a way to rig it."

"If only Yosakko hadn't given up acting," Inuyasha wished. "Then the whole idea of me being anyone but my charming character would never had occurred."

"Charming?" Kagome laughed. "I'd hardly call your character charming."

"-And so now my wardrobe has doubled so I have even less closet space," Inuyasha ignored Kagome's comment. "Where am I supposed to put my civilian clothes now?"

"You have two outfits added to your wardrobe," Kagome deadpanned. "How much room could that take up?"

"You have no idea, there are so many spares it's not funny," Inuyasha answered. "They don't even fit!"

At that moment Midoriko stormed up, her beautiful face sported a dangerous look directed at Inuyasha. "What have you done with my husband?"

Inuyasha looked up at her innocently, "What? Miroku? What would I do with him?"

"I don't know!" Midoriko threw up her hands. "Hide him?"

"I'm too smart to try to hide Miroku from you," Inuyasha said, his eyes wide at the possibility that he would dare oppose her.

"Then WHERE is he?" Midoriko exploded. "We were having a discussion and he skipped away!"

"Don't blame him," Shippo muttered underneath his breath and Kagome stifled a giggle.

"Uhm, did you check with Betsy?" Inuyasha suggested. "You know her, she might have grabbed him for close-ups or a fitting."

Midoriko opened her mouth as if to yell then shut it. "Good idea." And with that she was gone.

Not thirty seconds later a man in all black with sunglasses and a hood over his head carefully approached.

"We can all see it's you, Miroku," Kagome told him as he attempted to hide behind her chair.

Miroku pushed back his hood slightly, "Is she gone?"

"She's off to ask Betsy where you are," Shippo said. "But she'll be back all right. Since you're here it means that Betsy doesn't have you. She suspects Inuyasha of hiding you."

Miroku let out a little eep of distress.

"Why are you running from your wife, anyway?" Inuyasha asked before Miroku could set off running again. "What were you talking about?"

Miroku's eyes grew wider with fear and in a tiny voice he exclaimed, "She wants to bear my child!"

Shippo, Kagome, and Inuyasha laughed as Miroku sped away, apparently in search for a new hiding place.

After the laughter subsided Inuyasha caught Kagome staring at his face. "What?" He asked defensively.

Kagome grinned. "I was just wondering how you're gonna look with all that make-up on."

"Be quiet," Inuyasha crossed his arms. "I may not even do it. I haven't signed the contract yet. Betsy forgot."

"Oh, really?" Kagome asked raising an eyebrow.

"Look!" Shippo chirped up pointing to their right. "Here comes Betsy now!"

Inuyasha's head went in his hands, "I spoke too soon."

"Inuyasha!" Betsy's quick step transported her to them in record time. "I forgot, if you're gonna play another part you need another contract!" She pulled a thick stack of paper from her clipboard. "You just read over that, sign it, and have it delivered to my office ASAP." Then she took off, telling some props guy not to decorate the well with Hello Kitty stickers.

Inuyasha stared down at the paper, dread filling his face.

"It really can't be that bad," Kagome pushed in to read the character name on the contract. "Oh." She murmured once she had read it and lowered herself slowly back to her chair. "I see."

"What?" Shippo was feeling out of the loop.

Kagome told him.

"Ah," Shippo had the decency to look pityingly at Inuyasha.

Inuyasha let out his third deep sigh of the day and pulled out his pen. "Let's just get this over with."

And that, is how Inuyasha came to play the part of Naraku.

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This was originally supposed to be part of a series of one-shots that are based on quotations from Shakespeare. I don't know how the idea is going to go over so I'm sorta testing it with this. You may, if you'd like, suggest a quotation and I shall try. So, the bottom line is, this may be updating with more one-shots or it may just stay like it is. In the former's occurrence the main title will change as will the summery, don't be surprised if that happens. Ok! I hope you enjoyed this! I know I enjoyed writing it! -The Author