Shades Of Majesty
Episode I: The Phantom Speaks
It was a time of great distress for the Republic. A blockade had been declared by the Trade Federation around my home world. The Trade Federation was a loose alliance of merchants which, as such often happens, grew to great importance and influence as its leaders grew in pride and envy of one another, mistrusting the motives of those outside their guild. By my time, the Neimoidians had already claimed dominance and flexed their muscles when a star system resisted their control. The trade routes of the galaxy were once untaxed, permitting merchants to make profits by risking their lives running cargo from system to system, planet to planet. Social forces within the Republic, seemingly out of nowhere, enforced taxation of the trade routes. Money, though not evil in itself, was used by forces inside the government, padding the pockets of lobbyists, and permitting--
Oh, please excuse me. I'm sounding more like a bureaucrat than a mother. The stench of bureaucracy stays on, even though, formless, there is nothing left for it to stick to. Let us simply say that I have had much time to think on these things that twist around as storm clouds in my soul. It has been a long, cold, dark, unending night for me. I wish to rest, to shake loose of this immortal coil and put on true immortality which the Maker has prepared. I am not yet ready. Not yet.
The first time I saw my husband he manifested himself as a boy. He was several years, and feet in height, behind me, his eyes, those dark eyes, they looked at me behind his mischievous grin. He was already quite good at fixing things, though just a boy. I already found myself thinking, back then, that if his heart could be turned to be mine, he would make a valuable ally, a companion to my cause when he came of age. No, I wouldn't long allow myself such speculative thoughts of hope. The life of a Queen is a lonely one. It was filled with meetings, councils, dinners with heads of state, diplomatic functions, dry courtesies, and no time for companionship save for those which are arranged to further political aims. I am not persuaded there is such a thing in our political sphere as permanent alliance, only long-term needs and short term desires. Those eyes, that smile, that boy who would grow to become a great friend and ally.
"I'm a person and my name is Anakin."
I hadn't meant to insult him. He was, in fact, a slave. What hope and potential I saw in him! Also there was so much fear. He was attached to his mother in a way that I envied. How would any woman dare come between a young man and she who gave him birth? Enough of this.
Such as it was, consider that my cause, the cause of my people, seemed bleak, like a midday sun covered by the clouds. Oh, those tender thoughts, watching Anakin race in his home-made racer, watching in disgust as Sebulba cut him off, nearly destroying his craft, focusing on his own guile and craftiness. If Sebulba had been born in another time and place, perhaps he would have been suited in senatorial robes or been given a diplomatic ministry! Sebulba would soon find himself on the wrong end of my boy's racer. That Dug would have dug his own grave then and there if he had known the terror that awaited him some years hence. Let us wait to speak on this.
After we made our egress to my home world, we engaged the Trade Federation by making an alliance with the primitives. I'm sorry, I mean the less-advanced race of the Gungans. Who would have thought a phantasm could keep peels of prejudice in her lap?
Now, here was the scene: I stood there in my throne room, pointing a blast-gun at the head of Nute Gunray, the minister of all these troubles.
"Now, Viceroy, we will discuss a new treaty.", I said.
"What kind of treaty would that be?", he said.
Captain Panaka, my trusted friend, added, "The kind where you do exactly what we tell you to do and sign your name to it."
"Oh, that kind of treaty. I just happen to have some writing materials with me. I'm sure we can come up with something that is mutually-beneficial."
"What did you say? Bend fish oil?"
"No, Captain, that's his accent."
A nice, well-worded document was forthcoming and the blockade ended with a bang. The Trade Federation fell into hard times with their defeat on Naboo. We recycled the bits and pieces of the droid army into fire lighters. Nute Gunray would face four trials in the Republic Supreme Court and escape without punishment. His co-conspirators would not fare so well. Agee, Lord Ongibby the assistant of Nute, would be sentenced only to have his time commuted. Lush Rimbaw, his former secretary for protocol, would become a popular host at the Dagoba Carn-eval. Dob Bole and Nichard Bixon are still at large. I digress. Time would fail me if I spoke of all those who faced justice for their actions in those days, of Rill Bileyo, Barry Silvercreek, Han Shannity (unrelated to Solo), Cal Anholmes, George Snuffle-Upa-Gous, and the others.
Now is not the time for settling political scores—that is what veiled comments in works of fancy are best designed for.
I remember most vividly the tear-less eyes of Anakin as he stood by Qui-Gon's cremated remains. Why did he not cry? Perhaps it was confusion, a sense of shock at losing the first man in Anakin's life who offered him more than the benefits afforded a slave. Qui-Gon had been as a father to Anakin, Tell me if you know: why did Anakin not weep? I found out years later that Anakin's tears are not surfaced, they are held, kept within. Anakin grew in rage at the death of the old Jedi. If Anakin had been taught in the ways of the force at that time, I fear the safety of all those who had stood in the room with him.
The last words I spoke with Anakin before he left for training were these. We stood at the great festival where Boss Nass of the Gungans received the sphere of peace. I sat in my creme-colored dress, Anakin dressed up as a young padawan stood beside me.
"Anakin, I know you're going to be doing great things.", I said.
"I have go to away for awhile to do them.", he said.
"It's different from when you left your mother?"
"A little, I guess."
"You're going to grow into a great Jedi, Anakin. I can feel it."
"I just wish I didn't have to go away."
"Anakin, I will always be with you. I'll be like a ghost at your side while you do your great works. My heart will go with you. Where you go, I'll be there. Think of me when you learn and when you practice what they've taught you. Oh, and I'll have your carving with me and treasure it next to my heart."
"I hope you have good fortune because of it." Anakin looked down at his feet.
"The reign of a Queen isn't long on Naboo. I'll have to find something else to do. Who knows? You might see me out and about in the galaxy."
"Will you stay in government?", he asked.
"I don't think so. I think it's time for me to retire to a nice, out of the way place and keep away from the center of things. I've felt the desire since I was young to do great works of my own. My time for action is coming to a close. I can feel that too. Perhaps I should spend my time traveling as a diplomat, you know, not being in charge."
"I don't think so. You always seem to need to be in charge."
I blushed. "Perhaps you're right. Are you using a Jedi trick on me?"
"No, it's just, I know you."
"I know you too."
At least, I thought I did.
Episode II: Send In The Clones
My time for action and being in the center of the storm did not end then. I was requested by the next Queen to stay on and serve in the Imperial Senate. I was humbled, however, I was more than eager to continue serving. Fading into twilight of obscurity is for specters, not living, breathing souls. Life is best lived in the moment by those with hot fluid coursing through veins. At the landing pad, I arrived one day on that world that is a single city. I felt the explosion of my craft and my guard and I barely escaped with our lives. The cost is dearer to one who loses a friend, as I did that dark day. My tragedy was not a play of ancient times, indeed it was a testament to the generation which was now. I was quickly escorted to meet with Palpatine and the Jedi Council's representatives.
I saw him again that day. He was brought to be my protector against the would-be assassin. How would I tell him? I had spend years in the Senate with no one closer to me than Jar-Jar Binks. My heart was still in shock from my recent decision to end the relationship with him, my former Gungan love. I'm not sure that Anakin ever knew that I still held a torch for Jar-Jar at the time he and I reconciled. It is a secret few know, such as how a certain smuggler was once married to a Wookie bride. Some things are best kept unrevealed lest the populace erupt!
Anakin acted as a hero, as always. My thoughts and feelings which were once placed on the shoulders of that proud, noble Gungan now focused on the Jedi knight who brightened my day. A woman has passing thoughts, often drifting as a buoy on a serpentine river. I remembered the man, Obi-Wan, and thought I might someday become a companion to him. However, the Maker did not intend for this. My heart melted within me when I saw Anakin again. All thoughts of others were erased. This tinkerer, this soldier, this loyal figure was back in my life!
I vividly remember the stilted dialogue between us. Thinking back on it now, it reminds me most of teenage angst one would watch on melodramatic entertainment performances performed by holograms and defunct droids.
"We can't be together. It's just not right."
"How can it be wrong if we both feel the burning?"
"Just because you desire something doesn't mean you should give in. Didn't they teach you that in your Jedi training?"
"Yes," he said. "They also told me that love is the motive behind all that we do. How can I deny the motive of my heart? I would sooner deny that the stars shine from light years away in the distant heavens than deny that which burns in my mind and coils around my heart."
"We don't have time for this, Anakin. We have to save Obi-Wan."
With new knowledge of the planet, we landed on Geonosis and rescued Obi-Wan. It was a costly exchange, however. Just before we found Obi-Wan, we were captured and led to the gladiator's court for execution. We believed everything was lost. I most wanted to admit to Anakin my previous relationship with Jar-Jar, yet even then I withheld this information. A woman's heart is a deep mystery, a sea of secrets as they say. I did admit my love for him, however.
"I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life. I truly, deeply, love you. And before we die I want you to know." I knew that Anakin was susceptible, that he was weak, that I should not have spoken the words so closely after his mother's death and normally I would not have. I really believed we were about to die. What could have been wrong with this motive?
Though it is not recorded, the opportunity which gave me time to speak of my love for Anakin robbed me of my full thoughts. I wanted to tell him how I truly, madly, deeply loved him. His heart appeared to me as a savage garden. I wanted to stand with him on a mountain, as we did on Naboo, with the stars shining in a velvet sky. I was counting on him for a new beginning, a reason for living, a deeper meaning. Yeah. I wanted to tell him these things. I was not able..
I mentioned that the battle was costly. Though I had led the movement against the creation of a grand army of the Republic, it happened. The Jedi showed up and another faction, led by Yoda, commanded the clone army which had appeared out of nowhere. Each clone spoke the most peculiar dialect. Each clone smelled like kiwi. In the battle against Count Dooku, Anakin was partially disarmed. We returned to a medical clone ship and he received a synthetic arm. The new arm looked different from the old one and had double the strength. Whenever we would go through a landing pad, it always set off the security alarm. Anakin and I were married back on Naboo. How could I refuse to marry a man who had given so much for me, and now a part of his body? I did resist the proposal at first, though I loved him. I was still mad that he did not come back to save me.
"Anakin, I could have been killed and you left me out there on the sand!"
"I wanted to go back. Obi-Wan ordered--"
"I could have been eaten by a giant worm in a pit. If you had come back for me, maybe you'd still have two human arms!"
It was a pointless argument. Little did I know that Anakin's desire to protect me would cost him not only one arm but his body and almost his soul.
Episode III: V For Vengeance
The official history of the Empire, which was once the Republic, records that the Jedi rose up against the Republic and tried to seize control at the conclusion of the Clone Wars. Many in the galaxy know what really occurred and are huddled in silence from repeating the truth. Truth cannot be concealed. If I, as an apparition, must tell the tale of truth to ensure it is spoken, I will.
Palpatine revealed himself to be a Sith Lord and persuaded Anakin to defend him. Palpatine had spent the time of Anakin's training influencing and captivating his mind. Anakin is a loyal man and his loyalty to Palpatine may have alone been enough to cause him to defend his mentor, yet. Palpatine also conjured up a plan. If Anakin suspected that my life may be in danger, he could use this fear of losing me to manipulate him. How did Palpatine know that I was Anakin's wife? Did Palpatine use his dark, insidious Sith ways or abilities to conjure up the truth about our relationship? No. Here is how it happened.
"Hello Senator Amidala. What is that you're carrying?"
"Oh, hello Chancellor. These are some personal effects. My system is in need of repair, so I needed to use the facility in Jar-Jar's quarters."
"Those look like men's pants. And that, a shirt with only one long sleeve and one short sleeve. It seems like there's more to you than meets the eye."
"If you'll excuse me, Chancellor."
It was then that Palpatine used his Sith abilities to disturb Anakin's mind with visions of me. Palpatine had first used his dark arts to cause Anakin nightmares about his mother some years before. Now, in his nightmares, Anakin saw a vision of me giving birth and dying. In response, Anakin reinstated our Republic Health Insurance, complete with the maternity rider.
When I came to the planet of fire with Obi-Wan I had no idea that Anakin would fall in battle. Anakin used his force choke to silence me, the same Jedi trick he used against certain people trying to catch my attention while walking in public. I collapsed. The droids brought me inside and I was able to watch from the craft. I could hardly tell who was fighting whom with the two blue light sabers flashing. I couldn't keep consciousness. When I awoke, I was already giving birth and the pain caused me to scream. At that moment I felt something else. Palpatine appeared in my thoughts. I could see him but I couldn't say his name. My strength was leaving me! I was dying!
The nurse-bot muttered some sort of gibberish and held my child. I tried to tell it to lay the baby down, but all I could say was, "Lay-uh..." Then there was another baby! My baby had split in two, I thought. I wanted to say, "Will you look at that?" but all I could say was, "Look..." Maybe I got the order of birth wrong. If I did, please forgive me. After all, I was out of it, giving birth, oh, and dying.
I felt Palpatine's pull. My life force was in his palm. He was using a dark art of the force to hold onto my life. I knew in my heart at that moment that Anakin had fallen and was close to death. If it were not for Palpatine keeping Anakin's life energy in place, my husband would have died. I heard Palpatine's voice in my mind and saw him crouch over Anakin's body in my vision. His voice spoke words to me, "My colleague, you are going to serve a single purpose for me. I would thank you, but there is no need, is there?"
I knew that I was departing from life but that Anakin was safe! I had to tell Obi-Wan to save my Annie. "There is still good in him..." The shell of my body collapsed.
Though I was still aware.
I saw the twisting essence of time and space spin around me and then I returned to this plane of existence. I found myself floating at the table when Anakin raised up. But it wasn't my Annie. He was equipped with some dark emergency burn-victims suit. He asked Palpatine if I were safe. Palpatine lied and told Annie that in his anger against Obi-Wan, Anakin himself had killed me. Anakin knew better but had no reason to doubt what Palpatine said. The anger and hatred that had served my husband as he slaughtered the innocent Jedi children came back in full force. There was nothing he could do to save me. All his actions of late had been in vain. He reached out with his coiled grasp of the force as with hands and crushed the medical droids and equipment nearby. His arms flailed free; he took his first staggered steps on half-mechanical legs and screamed in agony. My soul screamed along with his. Indeed, I was still bound to Anakin. My life was his life. He breathed with the support of the ventilator, but it was my energy, kept there by Palpatine's dark art, that kept the ghost in his shell. My husband was truly in a state of living death.