Author's Note:
I have so many reasons (er…excuses?) for not being able to continue "Without Her", but I assure you, I will finish it. Actually, I've been going through it again and again (especially the current chapter), but day jobs get to squeeze me dry of time to write. Hopefully, I'll be able to come out with Part 8 by mid-February.
Here's a raw one-shot – Akaneon Ranma.
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all its characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. All hers. But the story belongs to me. Any unauthorized copying, lending, or distribution without the author's consent is punishable by law. Violators shall be subjected to investigation by police agencies and to criminal prosecution.
Lunar Ember Presents
A Ranma ½ Fanfiction
THIS IS WHERE YOU LEAVE ME
This is where you leave me; alone, in some desolate place. Sometimes you leave me in my room, with my head in my hands. Sometimes in the market, lost amidst the crowd. And sometimes, on a rooftop, listening to the city's echoes.
This is where I am tonight; staring at the sky. Oddly, the stars seem brighter in these parts.
Earlier today I was dragged into your mess again. You came so suddenly – as soon as you picked me up you set me down and ran on, with a horde of your usual suspects close behind. I'm sorry, was I in the way? I often seem to be in the middle of your commotions. And after all's done, I'm left alone. Always.
I sit down on the roof tiles and stretch my legs before me. Sometimes I wonder why on earth we are still in this situation. Yes, we were brought together by circumstances beyond our control, but we could have easily done away with everything. You could have run away. Heck, I could have run away. But I'm still here. You're still here. And it's frustrating.
It's frustrating because we've been together for so long, and still, nothing has happened. You do things, say things that give me hope, and then a minute later you take them back. I can see the way you look at me when you think nobody notices. It's as if you're looking at something that you want so bad but can never have. I'm no fool – I know that you feel something for me, but what exactly is that something? Is it love? Because I sure as hell feel it for you.
Funny how I can easily say it when you're not around. Every time I'm with you, I couldn't say anything – when I open my mouth you seem to sense that the following words can seal your fate, and that certain trapped look dances in your eyes. I hate that. I hate that so much. Tell me; am I that hard to love?
I know I'm a klutz. I don't have long silky hair and my boobs look weird. I forget to cut my nails at times and I tend to bite them when I'm nervous. I've got the fashion sense of a brick, and the weight of one too. If it were possible to burn water I would've done it a million times now. I'm far from perfect. Very far in fact.
But I love you. I really do. And for all the stupidity you have said and done, I still love you. It's weird how I can still forgive you for everything. I think I'm stupid most of the time for doing so. Actually, I don't know if this whole thing is love or stupidity. Maybe both.
"Akane?"
So there you are. I didn't expect you to come back for me.
"Man, I'm beginning to think that those people are rabid."
Aren't they?
"Hey, are you mad at me?"
I look up at you. I can barely see your face, but I could make out your bangs swaying in the breeze.
"No, Ranma. Why would I be mad at you?"
"I dunno. It's just that you always are."
That's because I don't know what to do with you. I never know what to do with you. You are so impossible to figure out. Sometimes, you don't give a rat's ass as to where I am or to what I feel. And still, sometimes…
"Are you okay, Akane? Hey. Hey…"
"I'm fine."
"Do you want to stay here for a while?"
You're crouching before me now, peering at me in the dark. Can I…
"No, let's go home."
I stand up and dust my skirt. You follow behind me, helping me down the roof, down the wall, and on to the street.
Right now I hate you. I hate you for making me feel this way towards you. Is this my karma? I've ditched every boy who liked me, and now the only boy I want is simply out of my reach.
I hate you, Ranma.
"Do you really mean that?"
I turn around -- did I just say that aloud? Your face is blank, and I know that you're pretending that my words didn't affect you. You stupid jerk. When will you ever stop being so proud?
"Akane?"
"No. I don't. How can I hate you?"
So here we are, standing in the middle of the road, looking at each other. It's awkward, because you're looking at me funny again, with that faraway expression in your eyes.
I don't like this at all.
You place your hand gently on my head and deliberately slide it down my cheek. Warm. I could taste my hair in my mouth, and beyond it, the saltiness of your skin.
We stay. We wait.
Then you give me a lopsided grin before letting me go, walking on.
I close my eyes and raise my head. The rush dies against the night and the sigh that escapes my lips is long, heavy, and lonely. There are too many moments like that; far too many to be of any significance anymore.
You stupid jerk.
So this is where you leave me; alone in this desolate place. You're still here, just ahead of me, and yet somehow, I feel that I've had you, and lost you all over again.
owari
