A/N: Once again, to anyone who didn't read my latest story "We're Square", the reason I hadn't been updating any of my unfinished stories is that I couldn't get to my stories list for some stupid reason, no doubt having to do with dial-up internet. As of yesterday, that SEEMS to have changed. YAY! By the way, this is, as far as I remember, the first time I've done a first person tense story, so it might be stupid and out of character.
So here's a Sparrabeth story, finally, QueenOfSparrabeth! I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: If I owned PotC, I probably would have made the script the way I wanted it, rather than writing alternate versions later on.
Jack. Far too many of my thoughts these days start with that name. Jack thinks we should do this. Jack says we should go there. My world revolves around the opinion of a man who I once found despicable, who I've tricked and betrayed; and who, most importantly, is not the man I love. I love Will. I'm already married to him, and I'll stay that way, and no dashing, witty, chocolate-eyed pirate is going to change that. I refuse to let him. Of course, I owe him. I chained him to his ship and left him to die, in effect killing him myself. Oh yes, I owe him plenty. And he's increasing my debts, making them bigger by doing things for me. He voted me Pirate King. He agreed with me that we should fight. He didn't fight when I traded him to Beckett for Will. He gave up immortality so that Will could live for me. My debt is as deep as the ocean that the Black Pearl now rocks on in the aftermath of the battle.
As I stand before him now, with the eyes of the crew watching us as if we were a circus act about to begin, I know he is silently offering me a choice. I can say goodbye to him, get in the rowboat, and paddle to that little spit of land some ways away. There, I can consummate my marriage with Will, and spend the rest of my life seeing him one day every ten years. I can leave myself forever in Jack's debt.
The other choice is to pay the debt. An unconsummated marriage isn't a real marriage; which means that until Will has had my body, we might as well not be married. It would not be adulterous for me to annul the union. I can stay here with Jack, and let Will do his unending duty alone .I can spend the rest of my life paying a debt, and thoroughly enjoy paying. I know I can convince Jack to marry me, so as not to ruin myself completely. And he would probably not mind, since that would put me even further in debt. It would guarantee that I would stay until I'd paid, which would basically be for the rest of my life. And the idea is so infinitely tempting.
No! I will not let those eyes persuade me to pay up! I must be loyal to Will. He has done so much for me….but so has Jack. Should I really sacrifice my own happiness for the happiness of a man who is more of a friend, or even a brother, than the man I want to live my life for? I won't even be growing old with him. Instead, I'll be growing old and unsightly while Will stays young. Is it not likely that as I age and he doesn't, he will start to seek better company on his one day? But if I stay to pay my debt with Jack, we shall go to the Fountain of Youth, drink, and live gloriously free forever….why can I not stop these doubts? Will is on the ship opposite, looking at me expectantly. He loves me. I do not know if Jack will ever say he loves me. Perhaps, in a way, it is not so much love as that we are connected. Will loves me, but Jack is me. The clichéd other half. I don't think there is a better half. Peas in a pod, he always said. I guess he knew all along. I won't be going with Will.
I raise my face to his, letting him kiss me, knowing that Will is watching, and hoping it is merely a goodbye kiss. I pull back after only a second, knowing that I must go and explain to Will, and apologize, and hope this will not make him a monster like Jones. Jack's eyes are understanding, but he brushes my lips again before I go. The crew looks confused, unsure whether to cheer or to remain silent in pity for Will. Jack smiles a roguish grin at me, whispering a word that I suspect shall be one of my nicknames for years to come.
"Pirate."