This is it. This is the end, I know I don't have much time left now. My lungs are being overly sucky at being lungs and now my whole body just sucks in general. I've been in and out of hospital but now they have basically told me to go home to die. I'm not in pain, I don't really feel anything. Everything seems to be happening so fast now, everyone rushing around me while I am stuck in this strange limbo, drifting in and out of conciousness. I'm not scared though. I've never really been phased by the idea of my inevitable death. If anything, I'm excited. Excited to see what's there, excited to see what everyone else can only imagine, but most of all, excited to see him. Augustus.

It's been almost a year since he died and there hasn't been a day I haven't thought about him, haven't longed for his kiss, his touch, just to hear his voice. But, like everyone though, I don't know what happens when you die, or if I will even see him. I mean no one knows what happens when you die. So I guess all I can do for now is hope that where ever he is, he's happy and where ever I end up, I'm with him.

My mother is convinced that I am going to make a miraculous recovery or something and just get better. At first I tried to tell her otherwise, to tell her that it was a stupid idea and that I was going to die no matter how many encouraging smiles or words she gave me everyday. I couldn't stand to see her so crushed though, I mean her only daughter was dying and all she could do was watch it happen. So I just smiled whenever she tried to encourage me to keep my chin up and that I was going to live.

Isaac comes quite often to visit me, he is the only person who comes and it's nice to feel like I have someone outside of my family. I try to joke with him, try to laugh when he retaliates but it's getting harder and I think he can see that (well he obviously can't see but you get the picture...) so sometimes we just sit there and appreciate each others company. I worry about Isaac, he - much like me - doesn't have anyone besides his family so when I'm gone, I don't know who will comfort him and be with him. It almost makes me feel guilty to die, not that I can help it.

At this point, ANTM is but a distant memory as I'm never awake long enough to watch a whole episode, support group ended when Augustus died, the fake ID thing never happened and every other thing I may have done or wanted to do has ceased. There are no good days any more, no days where I am fully concious and able to do things. My last 'good' day was a week ago. Isaac came round and I was actually awake.

"Hey Hazel, haven't you gotten out of bed yet?" He joked.

I laughed and shook my head at him. My curtains were still closed so I asked Isaac to open them. He walked over and opened them, letting the light spill in. It was sunny outside and probably the nicest day we had had in a while. That's when it happened. I got a sudden urge to be strong, to be free, to go outside. Usually - even before I was a corpse - I was happy to stay inside, away from everyone and everything and I still don't know if it was the cancer speaking or what but I wanted to go outside and no one was going to stop me.

"Isaac?" I said, my voice raspy and low.

"Hmmm?" He replied.

"Take me outside."

"What?"

"I want to go outside. Take me. Now."

"Ummm Hazel I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Oh come on, Isaac, I'm not going to be any sicker out there am I?"

There was a moment of silence while Isaac thought about it.

"Fine. How the hell am I going to get you down there though?" He asked.

Good question. I thought for a moment.

"Carry me."

Isaac laughed, "Yeah, good one Hazel."

"I'm serious. Carry me!"

Isaac sighed and then found his way over to my bed. I pulled the covers back and wrapped my arms around his neck while he tried to scoop me up, I had lost a lot of weight so I wasn't that heavy but there was still the problem of him not being able to see.

"Right, I am your eyes, just follow my exact instructions and we'll both make it out of this alive." I said once he had secured me in his arms.

Isaac nodded but looked very doubtful about what was about to happen.

"Okay, you just have to get me to the wheel chair at the bottom of the stairs (it's always there in case of emergencies). Okay, go forward about 5 steps and then turn right and walk 3 more steps."

Isaac did as I said and we managed to get to the top of the stairs.

"Now, here's the tricky bit, stairs. I'll say step until we get to the bottom. Okay, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, step, stop! That wasn't so bad. Okay just put me down here, I can get in the chair from here."

"Jesus Christ Hazel, that was probably the worst idea you have ever had in your life!" Isaac said as he gently set me on my feet.

I clung to him for support and he wrapped his arm around me to keep me up. I stumbled over to my chair and plonked myself down while Isaac fumbled around trying to attach Philip to the back of it. Just walking the few steps to the chair had made me out of breath but I was determined to get what I wanted. Isaac wheeled me to the back door and slid it open. He felt around to make sure that he wasn't going to kill me by throwing me out of the chair or something and then half lifted, half wheeled me out of the door.

"Okay, if you go forward about 3 feet there's a seat. Just leave me there and sit in the seat next to me." I ordered, a little more forcefully than I intended.

"Yes, sir." Isaac replied, smiling.

He did what I asked and felt around for the seat and sat in it.

"Thank you Isaac." I said softly, placing my hand on his arm.

"It's okay Hazel, just don't expect it every day." He joked.

I put my head back a little and soaked up the sun rays. It felt nice. It felt how it did before I was on my way out. The sky was the lightest blue and the clouds were perfectly puffy; I felt as if this day was for me. That some higher powers or whatever had done this to make me happy one last time. I thought of Augustus, wherever he is, telling 'them' to make it sunny for me. I don't know, I'm dying, I'm allowed to go a little crazy sometimes.

We spent most of the day out there, talking occasionally but not much until my mum came home and freaked.

"Hazel! What are you doing?! Why are you outside?!" she said as soon as she walked through the door.

"I wanted to go outside. I think this is it mum, my last good day, I wanted it to be a good one." I said soft;y, barely able to speak.

"Oh Hazel, don't talk like that, come on let's get you back to bed. Isaac do you need a ride home, dear?" She fussed.

"No thank you Mrs Lancaster, my mum's coming to get me in a minute. Bye Hazel, I'll see you... tomorrow?"

I nodded, smiling,

"Thank you Isaac. So much. Bye."

I waved as my mother wheeled me back in the house and carried me back up to my bed (yes, she carried me. She's had to get strong to do that 'just in case'). I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow and I don't know how long I was out but I didn't really care and this point. I dreamed. About Augustus, about Isaac, about death. They were good dreams though, all good dreams...

A/N - Hey! I'm Shannon and this is not my first fanfiction. It's my first Fault in Our Stars one but not my first ever. I run this account with my friend Abbie (which you will know if you have read our Hunger Games fanfic) but she has kindly agreed for me to post and write this on my own so yay for Abbie being amaze balls. So I am English and I know that some words are going to be English spellings if you are American and spell them differently, don't come whining to me about how I spelt 'Mom' like 'Mum' because I know. Wow that sounded really obnoxious. So yeah, I hope you enjoy this as it progresses and I don't think it will be that long and the chapters definitely won't be as long as this one all the time but yah, sorry to go on and enjoy! (Chapters won't be posted regularly but hopefully will be posted frequently!)