An one-chapter fic about House/Wilson friendship. Let me know what you think! A thanks to Fruitbat for correcting my English.

Let me teach you

'HOUSE! Wait for me.' Wilson quickened his steps, almost running down the stairs, as he saw the doctor walking towards the exit doors.

The latter turned around after hearing his name. A smile appeared on his tired face. 'Dr. Wilson, how many times do I have to tell you today, I'm not going to please you tonight because my other boyfriend is coming over!' House made sure to talk loud enough so at least the whole nurse station and the patients waiting at the clinic could hear him. He succeeded; those who were present looked in the direction of the oncologist, who now turned as red as Santa Clauses suit.

When Wilson caught up with his friend, he stopped and caught his breath. 'Very funny, House. They're going to believe it someday, though.' The two men exited the hospital while being followed by at least a dozen sets of eyes and a couple of nurses who shook their heads. For them it was just everyday routine, not that they would ever get used to it.

'You look tired.' Wilson watched the older man turn his head away from him after his statement. No response was forthcoming, as he expected. 'Do I have to worry?'

After this question, House did turn his head towards his friend again and penetrated his blue glare into the brown puppy eyes in front of him. 'Pffft, like you ever DON'T worry about me! I can handle it myself, Mum, thank you.'

No more time for questions was left, because they were already at the handicap parking space where House motorcycle was parked. It was a pretty weird sight, it's not like a lot of disabled people drove a motorcycle, Wilson thought to himself. House made a attempt to raise his bad leg over the bike, but failed miserably as pain shot up his leg. The leg stiffened and he wasn't able to move it. A groan escaped his lips, followed by a muffled curse 'Damn it!'.

Wilson dropped his briefcase and grabbed his friend with both hands at his waist to keep him from falling. 'Yeah, you can handle it yourself perfectly, you just proved that one.' Sarcastic met sarcastic.

House straightened himself and put his weight on his left leg. 'It was just a test to see if you were still focused so you won't let me die in case I really need your help.' House replied easily.

It still amazed Wilson how easily his friend could come up with his snarky and clever remarks even while he was in obvious pain. 'Come on, let me at least drive you home.' Wilson knew his attempt to keep House from driving the dangerous vehicle was doomed to fail, but he needed to try nevertheless.

Gregory maneuvered himself onto his bike successfully this time. 'Volvos are more dangerous than any other vehicle ever made. Thanks for the invitation but I don't want to freeze along the way when your motor gives in.' He saw that his friend still wasn't convinced. He showed his nicest expression he could manage to form at the moment. 'I'm fine, really. I'll call when I'm at home in front of my TiVo with my two best buddies, scotch and Vicodin. Satisfied?'

Wilson thought about it but finally gave in, there was no point arguing any further. 'Okay. Be careful.'

House clicked his helmet close and started his engine. 'Yes, mummy.' The innocent look he made failed to make the desired impact because his helmet blocked most of his face.

Wilson picked up his briefcase and watched House zoom away. James shook his head and headed towards his car. He settled himself in front of the steering wheel and put the key into the engine. When he tried to start the car, the engine sputtered loudly and died after a couple of seconds. 'You're kidding me!' Wilson growled to himself and tried several more times but the engine refused to start. He slammed his hand hard on the steering wheel. House will laugh so hard when he finds out. Wilson sighed at this thought. He grabbed the briefcase next to him and stepped out the car, slamming the door shut. With long strides he walked to the first bus stop he came across. He let out another deep sigh when he took a look at the timetable. 'Great, it looks like I'm going to enjoy myself for the next 45 minutes here', Wilson mumbled. It was already past 9 pm and the wind was cold against his face. He pulled up his collar and folded his arms to keep himself warm. After almost an hour, the bus finally came. He paid for the ride and sat down in one of the empty seats next to the window. The bus was quite crowded for this hour, but Wilson didn't mind. His mind wondered off as he stared out the window. It was almost completely dark outside but the street lighting gave enough illumination to light the road and the sidewalks. After 10 minutes, he saw a red light on the roadside. When the bus drove by the light, Wilson recognized the form of what could be a motorcycle lying on its side , its headlight shining on a tree which stood 10 feet away. Immediately thinking about the worst possible scenario, he ran towards the bus driver and demanded him to stop.

'There's no bus stop here', the driver replied peevishly.

'Please, let me out, I forgot something back at the hospital', Wilson tried. There was no need to explain the whole situation to the bus driver, considering the man would probably think Wilson was nuts. The bus driver pushed the brakes and brought the bus to a halt. Wilson quickly thanked the man and ran out the doors and towards the lights, which were now more than 300 feet away. The bus was already gone when Wilson arrived at the place where the lights came from. His fear became reality when he recognized the motorcycle as House's. He knelt down and established with relief and curiosity that the bike was undamaged. He scanned his surroundings. His eyes stopped when he saw a figure lying on the grass halfway down the small hill next to the ditch. He felt his pulse racing as he ran towards it. He slid the last part and let himself fall on his knees next to the body. 'House! House! Can you hear me?!' He yelled.

House eyes opened wide when the familiar voice rang into his ears. 'For God's sake, you don't have to scream at me like that! I'm right next to you!' He tried to get himself in a sitting position and felt two hands helping him.

'What happened? Are you hurt?' James was too relieved and worried to make a sarcastic comment.

When House finally sat up straight, he turned his head towards the oncologist. 'I felt a little dizzy and wanted to stop. I must have fallen asleep because you weren't standing here before.' He thought it was best to not tell Wilson the real story. The last thing he needed right now was a screaming, worried Wilson next to him lecturing him about his behavior and all. The fact was, his leg hurt so much he just couldn't continue driving. The pain had become so bad lately, he couldn't do much anymore. This morning he had felt better and thought he could handle a ride on his beloved bike. Well, he was definitely wrong he could tell that now. He was brought back out of his trance when Wilson shook him a couple of times.

'You're still feeling dizzy?'

He nodded. 'A Little, don't think I can ride anymore.'

James reached into his jacket pockets. His eyes filled with shock when he realized they were empty. 'Fuck! I left my briefcase with my cell phone in it on the bus.'

House left eyebrow curled up. 'Bus?' When Wilson didn't reply, he continued. 'Your car didn't start?' A smile appeared on his face. 'Oh my God! I'm a fucking prophet!' He burst into laughter. Wilson felt humiliated at first, but when he saw Greg's body shaking with laughter, he couldn't suppress a smile. In no time, both men were laughing out loud. When they stopped, the two friends looked at each other. The older man started. 'Because Mr. Volvo failed again, you just jumped heroically out of the last bus, and I'm too fucked up to drive my bike, there's only one option left.' A grin plastered across his face.

Wilson had to blink a couple of times before he understood what the man was saying and stood up abruptly. 'No way, I am not going to ride that devilish thing! Over my dead body!'

The pacing confirmed exactly what House had expected: Wilson was scared. He made a sad expression. 'You're not making me walk the whole road, are you? My leg will kill me halfway.' His tactic definitely worked because Wilson stopped pacing and looked straight at him. House knew he only had to pretend he was in pain and Wilson would do everything for him. Wilson glanced at the road uphill and then back to him. House tilted his head. 'Help me up and I will teach you how to drive, Jimmy.'

Wilson helped House up and supported him while they climbed up to the road. When he beheld the bike, shivers coursed through his body. 'Remind me to kill you if we survive this.'

House grinned at this comment. 'With pleasure. Now stop touching me near my private parts and jump on my beauty, Jimmy dear.' Wilson sighed and obeyed. When he grabbed the handles he was hanging so low he thought he was almost lying on the bike. Amazing that the idiot can survive in this position. When he was just starting to doubt the whole idea again, he felt the bike moving down and a chest touching his back. On both sides he felt a leg against his. Two arms moved from behind towards the handles and his hands were covered by another pair.

House rested his head on Wilson's right shoulder and began explaining. 'Your left hand is the clutch, your right hand is gas and the brake of the wheel at the front. Your left foot is the gearbox and your right foot the brake of the wheel at the back. It's almost the same as driving a car', House lied to comfort his friend.

Wilson snorted. 'Yeah right.'

House continued like he didn't hear Wilson. 'To go over to the first acceleration, push the gearbox down and release. Further accelerations, you push your right foot up a little but remember to release it every time you accelerated. Handle the gas with care. If you want to brake, first press the brake on your right hand a little and combine it a little later with the brake on your right foot.' House demonstrated the handles while Wilson's hands followed underneath his'. 'You understand? Jimmy?'

Wilson didn't reply immediately. 'Fuck, I hate this. I hate you!'

House grinned but because his mouth was so close to his friend's ear, he sounded like the most evil laugh he had ever heard.

Chills were running down Wilson's spine but he knew it was either driving himself to death or freezing to death next to the road. 'Okay, okay, I understand.'

House's hands retracted from his own and were now tangled around him. House smiled. 'You can have the helmet, dear. It would be a waste for all those cancer patients to lose you.' He was really enjoying this. James obviously was not, but he had no choice.

Wilson pulled the helmet over his head and grabbed the handles again. He mumbled a quick prayer and pressed the clutch while pushing the gear box down a bit. House had his feet on the ground to accomplish stability while Wilson tried to start the bike. The latter carefully turned the gas while lifting up the clutch. With a big jump the motor surged forward and with another jump came immediately to a standstill. Both men were first pushed forward and after that backwards with such a force, they both were pushed of the bike and landed behind it.

House was laying on his back with Wilson on top of him. James' bodyweight upon him made it impossible to breath.

Luckily, Wilson quickly recovered from the blow and rolled himself so he was lying next to House on his stomach. He pushed himself up and saw House catching his breath. 'House! Are you okay?'

House didn't answer but only watched his friend hanging above him, his eyebrows drawn together, eyes full of worry. He tried to suppress his sense of humor but failed miserably. For the second time in five minutes he burst into laughter. Just like the first time, Wilson followed his example. He turned himself so he was also lying on his back. Both men laughed until they were out of breath. Tears were rolling down the cold and red cheeks of the two friends. Finally they both stopped. Two loud sighs were heard. In unison they folded their hands and laid them on their stomachs.

'I told you the nights are more fun than the days.'

Wilson thought about this statement while looking at the stars above them. He stood up and helped Gregory up next. 'Like I ever doubted you. You are always right, remember.' Wilson teased him.

'Good dog, that's how you do it', House commented when he rubbed his right leg a bit before walking up to the bike again. 'Let's try it again, Jimmy. You are definitely talented.'

Wilson shook his head. 'No way! I can't even start the evil thing up! We will end up in the ditch or smashing into a car or something.'

House laughed. 'Ah come on, it happens to the best of us. On my first ride I ended up with my face against the back of my instructors motor. Had to the change instructors out of embarrassment.' The story earned House a chuckle from Wilson.

With a sigh the latter approached him and picked up the bike again. 'Okay, sit down. I'll show you I am talented.'

Now it was House's turn to chuckle. He stepped up behind the oncologist and put his arms around the waist in front of him again. This time the motor did start but when the doc had to shift up, the engine died and the men ended up on the ground next to the bike this time. Again they laughed till they were out of breath. They scrambled up and tried again. After six attempts and the same number of falls, they were finally driving at the speed of 10 mph. Wilson simply didn't dare drive any faster. When they finally arrived at House's place, incredibly they didn't fall off the bike.

When they both stood next to the vehicle, House patted his friend on his shoulder. 'I have to admit, you have a real talent.'

Wilson gave the older man a light punch to the stomach. 'Bastard.'

House smiled at him. 'I know.' House grabbed at the spot under seat of the bike where he had put his cane before he left at the hospital. To his amazement, the cane was gone.

Wilson watched him and saw the empty spot as well. 'It seems kindergarten doesn't end next to the door this time.' He put his shoulder under the arm of his friend and helped him into the house. With a thud, House dropped onto the couch. Without waiting for thanks that would never come, Wilson made his way towards the front door again, ready to leave. When he grabbed the doorknob, he heard a familiar voice from behind his back.

'I recorded the L-word.' Wilson smiled and made his way back towards the couch, dropping himself next to the sarcastic asshole he called his friend.

They looked at each other and on both faces an evil grin appeared. At the same time they propped their feet on the table in front of them. Wilson poured two large glasses of whiskey and handed one to House. Brown eyes met blue eyes. House pressed play and the intro tune of the L-word sounded out of the expensive stereo set. The men toasted without saying a word and turned their heads to watch TV silently.