Chapter 1-These Dusty Bones
She had a couch in her own office but she liked the view this one allotted through the large bay windows overlooking the mall. It was soothing watching the bustle of life below, the tourists eagerly racing from museum to museum in order to see the newest exhibit, absorb history in its finest. She needed the reminder that life existed outside of her sheltered life. She missed being part of it. However, she also knew that was her own decision, to step back in solitude instead of join in the game. As much solitude as an almost two-year old child and a busy career gave her that is.
It started out as a no brainer; she took a step back to get her life back together. Her life had changed drastically; tragedy blowing up her world into tiny pieces she'd yet to still be able to put back together. After time had passed, Callie found herself unable to rejoin the world and that was self-preservation. There was only so much that one person could handle and she'd reached her limit early on.
She was top in her field, well one of the top, and even with her resistance to go back into field work, she was still greatly sought after. But because of her resistance, she knew the cards she had to play were limited, and when the Board of Directors came to her, informing her that they'd received a grant to add onto the paleontology department, meaning not just bringing somebody on but bringing somebody to share her position, she couldn't argue. How could she when they'd been so very understanding with her? They promised her that they weren't replacing her, nor did they think that she needed a co-department head, but that with the new funds, and the résumé and contacts the new paleontologist would bring, it was too big an opportunity for them to pass up. Callie had no choice but to accept her fate with an open mind. That's been her life anyway, succumbing to fate and have no other choice but to keep on swimming.
So here she was, slowly fading into the abyss of sleep as her almost two-year old daughter spread out comfortably over her body, finally having succumbed to sleep herself after a rather tempestuous tantrum that Callie was worried wouldn't ever stop. Sure the daycare provided to the staff could have taken Sofia and possibly the tantrum wouldn't have even happened but Callie preferred to have Sofia in her sight unless she was on the floor and even then, with the nanny in tow, Sofia was often found entertaining herself in the kiddie-dig while her mother worked on whatever exhibit had her attention.
That's how it had been for almost two years now, Sofia never being far from her mother. Separation anxiety was the least of it and anybody that knew Callie's history understood. Well, at least now they understood. But when Sofia came into this world and Callie's world fell apart, she almost lost her career with everything else when she flat-out refused to abandon her daughter for the duties that had once been the highlights of her job. After a drawn out battle and Callie threatening to leave completely, the board folded, giving into the woman's demands. They wouldn't risk losing one of the best paleontologists just because she stopped digging; especially when her expertise couldn't be replaced. Dr. Torres was simply too big to let go and with the funds and grants that just her name alone brought into the Smithsonian, they quickly found out that they could afford to keep her overseeing the work in the museum and hire more than one person to go back out into the field that Callie unwillingly, willing left behind.
For the most part, Callie simply played the hand dealt to her. She learned long ago to stop looking back but eventually she stopped looking forward too, barely living in the now. The only history that Callie had any interest in was attached to the bones she was examining. The only future that mattered was giving Sofia a loving, safe environment, and saving the little girl any of the grief and tragedy that Callie had experienced in her short life. By forty, Callie had seen it all and never wanted to see it again. She would never look back and had no reason to.
Arizona was exhausted and her tour was nowhere near over. Over-anxious, she had decided to walk the grounds before meeting with the board member taking her on tour and she'd over walked to the point of pain. But she wouldn't let on and wasn't going to let that stop her. She had. Let it stop her. At one point she had succumbed to the pain, both physical and emotional and checked out entirely. She'd lost her drive and goals and will to live. And everything else when she stopped living. She understood now and was finally getting back into the world of the living. She didn't begrudge anybody for bailing on her when they did. She wasn't easy to be around and looking back, Arizona now realized she did everything in her power to push everybody that cared away. She didn't want anybody to care because she'd lost everything and they'd never understand. By the time she realized that they did understand, that their sympathy was empathetically driven, it was too late.
So here she was, starting over. A new town. New life. Technically, new career. And by new career it meant she was resigned to "desk duty." For a woman who thrived on being in the midst of things, being forced out of the field and into a position where she oversees things was a real mar on her self-worth. Arizona Robbins was the digger. She ate more dirt and saw more blistering sunburns in her ten-year career out in the field than some people saw in their lifetimes. And she loved it. Every painful moment. Until the end. The end that almost killed her and ultimately destroyed the Arizona Robbins that everybody knew and loved. Loved. Past tense. Nobody loved Arizona Robbins anymore. To be honest, she was certain that nobody had loved in her ten years but that was by her own doing. This, where she was now, had to be some sort of sick, twisted, delayed karma. But while she spent her entire life looking at history, her own was off-limits even to herself.
Quickly hobbling to catch up with his swift pace, Arizona refused to let Owen know she was hurting. Of all the people in the world, Owen would understand but Arizona wasn't here for understanding, she was here for a job. One she could do with her eyes closed but it was that or start over completely. And Arizona was so tired of starting over. It seemed to be her life's work to get somewhere and end up at square one anyway. The only upside to her constant reboot in life was that she got to do it in a different place each time. Failed relationship in one state, new job one thousand miles away without phone reception or internet to remind her of her losses. An affair turned bitter when her partner realized there wasn't going to be anything more outside of tent sex and the occasional romp in the wilderness then boom, a new dig, new staff, new start and while not a thousand miles away, far enough that she never had to deal with the mess of it all. Arizona never had to deal with the mess because she was smart enough to pick the perfect time for an affair; toward the end of the dig knowing very well she would be packing up and moving on before feelings got involved. Arizona Robbins no longer did feelings. Which was another problem when things fell apart because she had to face her demons during her rehab. That was hell. But with all the rehab, she still held her tongue even when she knew better. Today, she knew better. But just because she knew better didn't mean she acted upon it.
"Dr. Robbins, we can go grab a drink in the cafeteria and give you a rest if you want." Owen recognized the change in gait and when his new employee refused to slow down, he thought it best to take matters into his own hands. He didn't want to wear her out before they even began.
Arizona knew how far the cafeteria was and grimaced internally at the thought of taking the tunnels two buildings over. Slowing down as Owen's stride had turned into a stroll, Arizona went to decline his offer when she saw the sign on the door less than a hallway away, Lounge. "I'm not terribly thirsty but is that the staff lounge?" She asked, pointing at the closed-door.
Getting the picture, Owen nodded starting out to lead the way. "We have lounges on every floor but as most of the paleontology department is in the dig room or out in the field so this one is often a great one to be used for solitude. For the most part, our two heads of the department will share this but as Dr. T's office is her own sanctuary, she spends most of her free time in there and will be out of your hair."
"Dr. T? I thought the head of paleontology was Dr. O'Malley?" Arizona was confused. Were they replacing one person with two?
"Sorry, I've known her since she was fresh out of school, still can't get the hang of calling her by her married name. You'd think after all these years it would come naturally but that's not your worry. So for the most part, Dr. O'Malley will be out of your hair. Your work in juvenile remains will probably keep you busy for a few months until things settle down anyway. We just had a dig conclude and send in what looks to be about fifty different skeletons, most unassembled or identified."
"Talk about jumping in the deep end right away." She smiled as they stopped outside of the door. "So … before … were you trying to nicely say that my colleague is difficult to get along with?" Arizona inquired.
"No no no. She's great. Everybody loves her, it's just, this isn't easy for her, bringing you on. She's the head haunch-o here and she feels as if it's a blow to her career bringing on a co-head." Owen explained.
Arizona understood, she didn't like the share the spotlight either and that's what she was going to have to do but it seemed as if they had little choice and they were both going to have to make the best of it. When you stepped out of the field and out of that limelight, you knew if you were offered the next best thing, a job at a prestigious museum where you got to call the shots, you took it. Regardless of having to share the spotlight because at least you still got the title. "I'm not here to steal her thunder, from what I've read, we have completely different focuses anyway. I'm sure we'll barely see each other, especially with everything you're giving me to start off."
"You two will be fine. I've known you both for several years and you've both had a bad go of things, I think you two will find solace in each other."
"A bad go of things?" Arizona knew her bad go, if bad meant terrible, awful, and life altering crap but she didn't think anybody else's story could compare. She was skeptical but kept that to herself.
"Not my place to explain. Dr. T is very guarded about her personal life. But you'll be just fine, I'm sure of it." He opened the door, stepping back. "After you."
Stepping into the room Arizona stood in awe. The room, for a lounge, was grand. Cathedral ceilings, the architecture was amazing. And the windows overlooking the grounds were captivating. It was beautiful and the furniture was spot on for the room. Yes, she could get used to this.
"There's a small kitchen through that door and any and all of the books are here at your disposal. We have a library too on the sixth floor but these are all books in your field. Your assistant can help you find anything you're looking for and eventually you'll get the hang of it." Owen explained as Arizona took everything in.
"God, this is fantastic."
Callie's eyes shot open, her breath hitched, and had her daughter not been sound asleep across her chest, she's sure she would have rolled off of the couch and under the coffee table in order to flee from that voice. She knew that voice anywhere. There's no way she could have forgotten that voice, it was the last thing she heard when her world came tumbling down all those years ago.
Callie stood frozen in place trying not to completely break down or throw up everywhere. Boxes lined the apartment wall, there were suitcases standing by the front door, and the small, velvet box she was certain held the ring that was once on her lover's finger, sat lonely on the bar counter top. "No, please." Callie begged, tears streaming down her face.
"This is important, Callie. A once in a lifetime offer, I can't turn it down just because you have a year of school left. What am I supposed to do, wait around for you to finish? That's not fair to me." She remained calm even if she was falling apart inside. She had to do this. For Callie, she had to do this.
"What about us? We were going to go together. I mean, you can go now and I'll come out and meet you when I'm done. It's not even a full year until I can join. The dig is three-years. I can still be there and ..."
"Callie ..."
"No, no. You don't get to do this. We're engaged. You can't walk away." Callie argued.
"You know, Calliope, sometimes I think you're only here for your M.R.S. instead of your PhD." She shook her head, immediately regretting the words. "I need to go. I can't do this with you anymore." She turned without another word and walked out of the door without looking back.
"We haven't even reached your office yet." Owen smiled looking around like a proud papa. He'd be an integral part to getting this lounge and most of the suites back to proper order. They worked in history and he wanted their environment to reflect that. It took years but he'd gotten everything there. "Oh, Dr. T, sorry, I didn't see you there." His voice dropped to a whisper as he saw the tiny one on her chest, deep in slumber.
Crap. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Crap. Callie cursed herself for not taking Sofia down to daycare and instead being in this room. At this moment. Here. Now. Shit. Fuck. Crap. Putting her best smile on, Callie eased herself up off of the couch without waking her daughter who proceeded to curl into her mama's chest comfortably as Callie stood. "Owen." She nodded in his direction completely avoiding making any contact with the woman to her right. The woman stopped in her tracks with shock coloring her face.
"Before you disappear, let me introduce you to Dr. Robbins. She'll be joining the paleontology department with you, your new co-head." He explained.
Callie was blind sided. Deer in the headlights. Completely thrown off track. And it was nobody's fault but her own. She was sent the résumé and biography of her new co-head along with any other information they thought she'd need but in a sign of immature protest, Callie used the paper as a coaster until any and all information on it was covered in coffee spills and then she threw it out. Damn it. Had she only read it, she would have known. Damn it.
"Arizona." Callie's voice caught in her throat, hitching slightly but only Arizona caught it.
Staring at the woman with a child, the spitting image of Callie Torres in her arms, Arizona almost fled. Had she been able to run, she really might have. What the hell had she gotten herself into? Dr. O'Malley. This woman was supposed to be Dr. O'Malley. Not Callie Torres. Nowhere in this woman's biography did it give any hints that it might be her ex. God, she'd never have accepted an offer knowing full well that she'd have to work one-on-one with Callie. Ten years. It had been ten years. And god, did Callie look good. But she was holding a child. Fuck. Her own child, that much was obvious. Here was her ex, looking great, obviously having everything she ever wanted and then there was her, barely surviving, trying to get back a smidgen of what she'd lost. This was bad.
"Calliope." Arizona squeaked. The silence was deafening, leaving Owen to wonder what the hell he had done.
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed. Feedback is very welcome.