She studied his face carefully. He looked tired, drawn. Old. He would never admit it, but she knew. The small motel they were in smelled funny, sweet and yet so bitter. It reminded her so much of the time before, the time when they were happy.
"We should go," she said.
He didn't answer her, he just looked at her.
"Honey?"
Still no answer.
He sighed. She didn't know why, he just did. "We need to talk."
We need to talk. That was never good, she knew that much. If he had been a woman, she'd have thought he was pregnant. But he wasn't. That would be really strange.
She nodded. "Sure."
"Sit down." He pointed at a table near a window. They sat down. She had a good view of the street. It wasn't a busy street, it just let to the desert. Not many people wanted to be in a desert. Neither did she. The desert was hot during the day and cold at night. She didn't really like that, she just wanted things to stay the same. He didn't. He never did. He needed change and adventure.
"What do you want to talk about?"
He sighed again, like he didn't know where to start. He should have thought of that first. He did that all the time, start something before he had thought it through.
"Lately, we… I noticed that…" He didn't finish his sentences. She smiled at him, trying to encourage him.
"Lily, I can't do this anymore." Now she sighed. She didn't know why, she just did. It seemed appropriate.
"It's just that… Every time we try to work this out, it just seems to get worse. I don't know what you want, you don't know what I want…" He was wrong. She did know what he wanted, sometimes. Like now. She knew exactly what he wanted. It just wasn't what she wanted.
"What are you trying to say?" She knew what he was trying to say, she just wanted to actually hear him say it.
"Lily, I don't see things working out between us."
"Why not?" Also crystal clear.
"We… we're just too different. You're fire, I'm water. You're the sun, I'm the moon. You're the desert, I'm the ocean." He was wrong again. He was the desert. She was the ocean.
"Yin and yang complete each other," she said. It was something she had read many times. There were so many couples that could work it out. Why couldn't they just be one of them?
"Sometimes yin and yang just don't… fit into each other. Remember when we decided to make this trip?"
She nodded. She remembered. "You wanted to go Florida, I wanted to California."
"That's exactly what I mean."
"But what is the problem? We worked it out. We're in Texas now, right in between."
He sighed. For the third time. She thought. She had lost count after the last one.
"I don't want to be compromising for the rest of my life, Lily. And I'm sure you don't want to either." He wasn't making any sense. He had just said he didn't know what she was thinking.
"But Tony…"
"Don't do that, Lil. We've been over this before."
"So you just want to end it here and now?"
He nodded. She studied his face carefully. He looked tired, drawn. Old. He would never admit it, though. He wouldn't change. She knew that much. She wouldn't change either.
She stood up and left the motel without looking over her shoulder.