Hello and good to see you, dearest reader! Apple Fairy here! ^.^
Well, here's a GuyNatalia fic. Please read with honesty and not too harshly. Sorry if it's angsty. D:
And also...the thing about this fic is it was written a long time ago. I refused to post it, because I thought it was written so badly. Today I decided to just get the nerve and post it already. So um...here we are. Sorry if my writing style seems dated or maybe even bad because of it. Um...and thank you very much for reading it anyway. I'm very grateful!
So, with that said, I hope you enjoy the fic! :3
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales of the Abyss.
Flaws
Story by Apple Fairy
No, no, it's quite alright.
You are you. I am me. It's quite alright.
All you can be right now is yourself. You know I like you better when you are you.
Just as you love me for the fact that I am me.
"Guy? A moment, if you please."
"…Of course, princess."
He could feel Luke's skeptic eyes on his back. He didn't turn to face him. He didn't dare to.
He'd probably know with one look.
A silent walk just as always. They passed the familiar hallways, but when they took this walk together, the world seemed to change into something somber. The sounds got muffled and the loud obnoxious thud of their footsteps dominated everything else. Guy swore sometimes he could hear his own heartbeat sometimes. It always sounded slow and subtle, as if it wasn't surprised anymore by this routine.
Actually, Guy had gotten used to it all as well.
He wondered if she felt the same way. Like he was right now.
No. He decided, She's not feeling the same.
Because right now, as much as he hated to admit it, he pitied her. He felt sorry for her, and he knew she would hate that, and a little bit of himself hated that too. She was strong, but then again, she wasn't. Natalia had her limitations. She was human, and so was he. He wasn't perfect. He hated too much, and he gave pity to her. Did she ever notice that pity? She'd hate him if she did.
For some reason, that hurt his heart.
Nothing, he told himself, nothing will happen.
A servant was all he was to her, a gynophobic servant, while she was a princess who broke down in tears only when he was around.
They were both flawed in their own ways, and Guy found her beautiful for that.
He closed his eyes as he sat on her bed, his back to her, as she sobbed. Another battle, another lost soldier or twenty, and she wept for their actions. She cried for her country. She cried not for the burdens she received but for the ones her citizens carried.
And Guy found that beautiful.
He found her lovely at how devoted she could be, and found her breath-taking at how she would not fake a face of strength, and lie to herself, but face reality and act human at it, and cry.
She was human, and Guy found that beautiful.
He held back the urge to laugh a bitter laugh.
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Nothing would happen, because he was a servant who feared her, and she was a princess engaged to his best friend. It was ludicrous. It was a stupid dream. It would never come true.
This flawed beauty would never be his.
He wondered; did she know his feelings? Did she know he found her gorgeous? Did she know she was the reason he cursed his phobia most of the time? Did she know he stayed up late at night thinking of her, and if he did manage to sleep, he only dreamt of her?
Or did she know, and chose to not acknowledge it, because she also knew he only accompanied her in her mourning out of pity?
His heart hurt once more, but he shrugged it off. He was too nice.
Or maybe it was because he was in love.
He didn't know. He didn't care to know. Right now, he looked behind him, and saw her shoulders shaking. She was crying more tremendously. He longed to comfort her. To hold her shaking body.
But, no. He couldn't.
Would he be hinting too much? Would he only be doing it out of pity, or love?
Why did he come with her, anyway? What was his motive? How did any of it benefit him? Was it the pity, or the love?
The pity. I felt sorry for her, that's all. He answered himself, bitterly. Guy remembered, because he had grown to love her when he found out she could be imperfect too. She began to look more real to him, and that's when he fell for her.
So why did she ask him to come?
He closed his eyes when he remembered the first time she asked him to come with her.
"Guy, a moment, if you please?"
"A-Alright, princess…"
The confused look on his face when she broke down in tears, constantly asking her what was wrong, her not giving him an answer.
"Princess Natalia, are you alright?!"
"…Just stay."
"What?"
"S-Stay with me, Guy. Just stay there. Please…"
She never received an okay. Just his presence and his feeling of helplessness.
"And then it began to become an ordinary thing, and I fell for you." He mouthed, no sound coming from his lips, not daring to expose his feelings to her right there. Now wasn't the time. In fact, the time would be never.
He hated it all though. Hated how he couldn't do anything for her. Hated this feeling of vulnerability and powerlessness. He felt weak, and worthless.
Why? Why does she want me here then? What can I possibly do to help? He wondered as he examined her back, her shaking shoulders, and the folds in her dress. He looked to the side passively when he realized it.
Does she love me?
He looked to her again. He didn't doubt it, but considered it for a moment. It could happen.
It didn't mean that they could be, though.
But he could also be wrong, so he didn't let himself enjoy the possible fact that she shared the same feelings as him. He needed proof, and he wasn't expecting it anytime soon.
So he only turned around and looked forward. The silence erupted around him, the only sound being her small, subtle sobs.
He wanted to do something. Anything.
I don't just want to sit here and pity her. He thought tiredly.
So, he acted on instinct, removed his vest, and carefully placed it on her small shoulders, quickly drawing away from any possible touch.
He looked at her for awhile. Had she even noticed?
Her shoulders stopped shaking and the room was quiet for a while and her sobbing ceased as well. They stayed in silence, neither saying anything. The minutes passed by, and finally, Natalia turned around.
First, she looked at the orange vest resting on her shoulders. A few seconds past, and she slowly drew it closer to her. Then, she looked to Guy.
He examined her pale face. Her eyes were wet with tears, and she looked so much like a child. She looked lost and scared, and most of all, sad.
She looked flawed, and Guy found that beautiful.
They stared at each other for awhile. Guy could hear birds chirping outside her window, but he didn't care to look to them. All he chose to see was her, she doing the same.
Natalia broke the gaze and looked ahead, turning her back to Guy. He felt his heart pang a little, but ignored it, and turned around as well.
"I'm in love with you."
It was a small voice, choked with tears, but he knew what she had said. He nodded solemnly.
"I know."
"…Do you love me, as well?"
Guy closed his eyes and hugged himself.
"No. I pity you."
It would never happen. He knew that. He'd make sure of that too.
Because he was flawed too.
That's the end of it! Thank you for reading! :3
Ah, yes, another sad ending. How horrid. D,:
This is just a one shot. I'm not continuing it. But thank you once more for reading! I hope you have a wonderful day! :3
-Apple Fairy