Sitting in her psychiatrist's waiting room Donna could only focus on all the places she would rather be, but she had promised her Gramps she would do what the court mandated to prevent going back into the loony bin. Plus he had pulled some strings to get her in to see the best they could afford rather than the state hospital. Three days they had kept her, the most agonizing seventy two hours of her life. Thankfully even with being pumped full of meds she kept her wits about her enough to hide the darkness that filled up the hole within her soul. Releasing her into the custody of her mother, the only parting gift they gave her was a proper diagnosis of schizophrenia and a bottle full of meds, of which she seriously considered using to end her wasteful life. In fact, the only thing that prevented her was the sad look in her Gramp's eyes when he came to see her after her first attempt. Well, that and her imaginary friend. Most of the time he only made her want to die more, give into the pain so she could be with him and happy even if for a few moments.
Since her diagnosis Donna had lost everything, her job and thus flat but worst of all was the loss of her friends. Not that they had necessarily abandoned her. Every single one of them looked at her differently after they found out and the way they all gossiped, it spread like wild fire. She was no longer Donna Noble, temp. Rather she was Donna Noble, crazy. Everything she said, thought or did was graded on that basis. Quickly she tired of this and gradually cut them out of her life one by one so she could spend more time with John. She had met him at the onset of her problems, when the memory loss occurred.
Waking up Donna felt no different than any other day, walking into her living room to see her Mum and Gramps chatting with a strange lanky man who introduced himself as John Smith. Before he showed himself out he made sure to say goodbye to her, of which she found odd. Soon Donna found out that this day was unlike others, because when she had woken up somehow she had fast-forward two years with almost no memory of what had happened. Her engagement was off, her place of employment closed and no one had seen her other than once in a while when she sent a postcard to her Gramps while she was out traveling on her own. Horror stricken by the absences and painful migraines that accompanied anytime she tried to put the pieces back together Donna went in search of a doctor who could tell her what was wrong.
She was referred from doctor to doctor, going through test after test all coming up inconclusive. It was at these doctor visits that she began to run into John. He was a friendly face to help bide her time in waiting rooms and someone she could confide in about her true worries. Especially when the doctors suggested the pains were all in her head and she see someone for her amnesia and headaches on the psychological level. John didn't coddle her, didn't think she was losing her mind, in fact he was the one thing helping her keep everything together. After her last neuro appointment it was his arms she rushed to, sobbing at the suggestion she was making up the pain and lost memories.
John was the one to hold her until she stopped shaking and every last tear dried, whispering sweet condolences and promises that it wasn't in her head. It was then that she had kissed him, in a moment of weakness, to which he startled her by shouting "detox." It wasn't until her other visions started that Donna began to worry maybe something was wrong with her head in the manner the doctors had suggested. They started out small, with an odd bee in the office buzzing about or hearing screams when no one was in crisis. Still, too strong to admit she might need help or could be weak she shut herself off even more to the world, spending any time she wasn't at work with John. It was on one of these nights that everything came crashing down and reality set in leading Donna right to where she was now.
Donna was rushing out from work, in a hurry to pick up chips for their dinner when the visions intensified. Her keys were out, ready to get in her car when a huge red spider reared up in front of her cackling at her, Lance standing next to her with an axe aiming at Donna, "I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavor Pringle. I had to sit there and listen to all that yap, yap, yap. Dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia. Anything is better than a night with her," he mocked. Unable to determine what was real Donna fell back screaming and shielding herself with her hands, as he hacked at her with the axe and the spider thing egged him on. When they disappeared before her Donna was notably traumatized but more so by the fact that everyone around her was staring, scared of her, "did you see that," she yipped, "don't just stand there. Someone call 999," she ordered, "where did they go," she asked one man standing somewhat closer than the others. Slowly he backed away from her, not making eye contact, "what is wrong with you all," Donna yelled as they looked at the train wreck happening in front of them.
One of her co-workers came up to her, "Donna are you okay," she asked apprehensively. Donna shook her head realizing her body was still shaking in the aftermath of almost being attacked, "no. I don't know where they went," she cried. Susie, nodded carefully, "where who went," she questioned unsure what had just taken place. Pausing to glare at her Donna moved back from her hands, "did you not see them try to attack me," she squealed. Scared to answer Susie just stood there quietly for a few moments, "huh, you prawn," she shot. "Donna, all I saw was you fall to the ground screaming with your arms flailing," she responded. Gasping Donna looked around, "you didn't see the spider and Lance," she asked as Susie shook her head no. Thoroughly embarrassed and confused Donna got into her car speeding off. She almost got into an accident from the tears that blurred her vision rushing home into John's arms. "John," she shouted walking into her flat and like he had known she would need him his arms were around her as she sunk to the ground, "I don't know what's wrong," she sobbed as he soothed her.
Word of Donna's episode reached Sylvia Noble faster than one would have thought humanly possible. Her daughter's behavior had been worrying her as her medical issues continued to plague her but completely melting down like that in public and not even a phone call was the last line. Sylvia and Wilfred bundled up into the car making their way to Donna's. After no response from buzzing Sylvia let herself in with the key she had forced Donna to give her in case of emergencies like this. Inside, through the door she could hear Donna having a conversation with someone, listening for a few moments she realized it must be the phone since it was one sided. Letting herself in, Sylvia and Wilfred were shocked to see a drunk, half naked Donna sprawled out on the couch talking to thin air. Gasping at the sight caught Donna's attention, "Mum, what do you think you're doing," she hollered obviously embarrassed trying to cover herself as her Gramps covered his eyes with his hand to give his granddaughter privacy.
Stepping forward Sylvia removed the nearly empty bottle of wine from her daughter's hand, "did you drink all of this yourself," she inquired. Rolling her eyes Donna sighed, "no, John helped me. Where do you get off barging in on us," she growled expecting an answer as Sylvia looked around awkwardly, "John," she repeated questioningly. Point to the corner she nodded, "yeah, that bloke there trying to keep himself covered since you came and barged in here," she boomed. Realizing what was going on Sylvia raised a hand to her mouth, in an attempt to contain the fearful noises that accompanied the tears escaping. Wilf stepped forward placing a supportive hand on her shoulder, "Donna, sweetheart, there isn't anyone over there. You're alone in the room. How much have you had to drink eh," he lightly chuckled trying to lighten the mood but it only angered Donna.
Tossing the throw that had been covering her nearly stark body she moved toward them like fire, "you barge into my house and have the audacity to tell me that I'm the only one here and John the man that I have spent the last six months getting to know is in fact not standing in the corner half naked, what do you take me for," she growled as angry tears threatened to fall. She relaxed a bit seeing the tears in her Gramp's eyes, "I'm sorry," she apologized, "I shouldn't have yelled." Wilfred was shaking where he stood, "Donna, love, will you turn around and tell me what you see in the corner," he begged. Trying to appease him after yelling Donna turned to find that the corner was empty, "John," she called, "where'd you go," she asked beginning to search for him. Her flat wasn't that big so there could only be a few places he could hide. Coming up short in each one of them Donna wanted to lash out at the fear building within her, "you just had to barge in here and scare him off," she shouted at Sylvia.
Wilfred stepped forward, putting himself between his granddaughter and daughter, "now Donna, if we were in front of the door where did John go," he tried to reason. The fear mounting within her couldn't last much longer, "out! I want you both out! Now! Wait," she yelled marching over to them and putting her hand out, "I'll be taking my key back before you go. You're not welcome here anymore," she leered ripping the key from Sylvia's hand and expectantly waiting for them to get out. "Donna please be reasonable," Sylvia pleaded but Donna would have none of it, "out," she shouted slamming the door as soon as they were on the other side melting to the ground in heaves of tears.
"No, no, no," she quietly chanted to herself hitting the back of her head on the door, "not him too," she sobbed. Before she knew it John was at her side silently hushing away all her fears, kissing her tears away, "please don't cry Donna, I can't bare it when you cry," he held her. She swallowed down her tears, "you're not real," she protested. John pulled her tighter to him, "you know I am Donna, deep down in your heart. This love, the way I make you feel, you are brilliant Donna Noble and I love you so much," he promised praying she would believe.
Shaking from the combination of adrenalin, alcohol and cold Donna wrapped her arms around herself, "are you a memory? Is that what's going on? You're my memory? You're why I left Lance," she choked out. John smiled wiping a tear from her cheek, "it's your mind," he softly answered. Donna stood up, walking to the kitchen. Opening a cupboard a top her fridge she found a bottle of black velvet, unopened that she had left over from Lance. Reaching for a glass she added ice and filled it to the brim with the golden brown alcohol, "how fitting," she chuckled to herself, "it flickers like your eyes," she frowned forcing the warm liquid down her throat before pouring another glass and leaving it on the counter. Walking to the bathroom she was startled to see her pale tear streaked face in the mirror as John came up behind her wrapping his arms around her, "you are so beautiful Donna. Why can't you see," he wished for her to see herself like he saw her.
Looking away she pushed the thought from her mind, "you have to say that. You're my head," she clarified opening the medicine cabinet behind the mirror. There was no need to search for the bottle that she required as it sat on the bottom right corner, easier to reach when she had one of her migraines. Grasping the bottle in her hand she returned to the kitchen for her glass of now cooled velvet, taking them both to the bedroom, "lay with me," she requested, John in his brown pinstripe suit only too happy to comfort her. She opened the top of the bottle, letting pills fall into her hand before looking back at him, "promise we'll be together forever spaceman," she slurred. John smiled tucking a ginger lock behind her ear, "I couldn't get rid of you if I tried," he vowed as she tossed the handful of pills into her mouth forcing them down with the ice cold brown liquid. She snuggled into him, "will you hold me until the end," she panted her breaths becoming slowed. "Yes, my love. Forever," he promised kissing her head.
Drifting off into the dark abyss Donna was only filled with one emotion, love. The way her hand felt in his, the way he looked at her full of admiration, how his tongue whispered her name and took all her worries away. With John anything was possible, she was more than a temp, she was the most important woman in the universe. As Donna faded she was chased by memories of little fat blobs running down the street, people holding brains in their hands and electrical shooting pepper pots. They were so real that she only had one option, take John's hand and run.