Disclaimer: Shingeki no Kyojin is owned by Isayama-sensei. I'm just a lowly worshipper.
A/N: This super short fic was inspired by this doujinshi: t- -sundere. tumblr post / 67462264827 / original-artist-translated-by (just get rid of the spaces) and the song Say Something by A Great Big World. You can listen to the song while reading, if you like. Or not. Just listen to it sometime though.
Say Something
Their beginning was the beginning of an end. Eren had known this ever since the first touch that triggered strange stirrings in his chest, like butterflies nervously fluttering about a lone flower in the meadow. He had known it as words of earnest affection and steadfast devotion clumsily spilled forth from his lips, painting his cheeks crimson in the face of a blank regard. He had known it through the void in his heart, each time he felt the rapid cooling of the sheets as he heard the quiet click of a door closing at dawn. He had known it, but he never truly understood, blind as he was from the naïveté of youth, the beautifully embroidered veil of hope hanging before his eyes. He thought he could live with just being used as a source of warmth on nights of cold reaching deep into the bones, on nights of frozen guilt biting at the soul. Because maybe someday, Levi would learn to love him just as much; so he endured the deafening silence he was always left with.
Perhaps Heichou would say something next time.
No, he never really understood—not until that moment.
Heichou has never kissed me…
Levi was always the one to initiate things. Eren always just followed his lead (If it's you, I can do anything, I'll follow you anywhere, I can endure everything. I will happily die by your hands…), nothing but a fledgling perilously close to burning in the fire he chose to warm himself in.
Spurred on by the boldness of youth, he reached up to lightly grasp at Levi's face, gently keeping it in place as he bridged the gap between their lips in a kiss that offered his self, his heart, his soul.
Through the darkness he stared emptily at the wall on his right, feeling his heart ripping to shreds more than the sting of the blow on his left cheek.
That's right, he thought, he'll never love me like that. I was a fool for even thinking…
The moment Eren truly understood, he gave up all hope of his love ever reaching Levi's closed heart.
He died a little more each visit, and it came to a point that his deaths showed a little even in his waking hours. He couldn't hide it so perfectly anymore, not when there was almost nothing left of him. Armin would open his mouth to speak, but Eren would just smile sadly and shake his head, conveying everything to his dear friend through his dulled eyes.
I chose this. I love him.
And Armin would nod and let it go, hiding his clenched fists because he understood Eren more than anyone, and he had accepted that no one can ever change Eren's mind.
Finally, finally. The last of them had fallen. Humanity can now rejoice and be glad, finally victorious despite the immeasurable cost of blood, sweat, and tears—of the many many lives that can never be brought back, all precious in their sacrifice. Now that humanity can live on without fear of the enemy, Eren had decided.
I'll swallow my pride and say goodbye first so you wouldn't have to sully your hands anymore.
He closed his tearful eyes as the growing crystal engulfed him in its cold embrace.
Live happily, Heichou.
I love you.
おわり
A/N: I'm sorry.