The Insane Fans: Prologue
Leonette15: Look alive, people! You're on in thirty minutes!
Vicente: How on earth can I 'look alive'? I've been undead for three centuries!
Belisarius: Why do we have to do this? This is so humiliating!
Arquen: What's new? Now, help me rehearse my lines!
Bellamont: Mommy, that crazy woman wants me to-
J'Ghasta: Shut up! SHUT UP! I've got a headache already!
Uvani: Oh, Sithis, what is this she's making me wear now? Ouch! Banus, you stood on my foot!
Banus: Sorry. I was practising the routine.
Ungolim: Has anyone seen my hat? I can't go on without it.
Lucien: Does my arse look big in this?
Leonette15: Come on, everyone! You should have done all this preparing earlier! Alval, if you don't wear that, I'm introducing you and Banus to mpreg. Ow! Banus, sit still and stop trampling my feet! Ungolim, you know where your hat is so stop trying to get out of this! Arquen, you know your lines off by heart so stop showing off! Vicente, you may be undead but you need to perform in front of dozens of fans so get moving! J'Ghasta, go and get an asprin! Belisarius, you're doing this because I said so! Bellamont, give me that head; I need something to dropkick into the audience! Lucien, your arse does look big in that but it's not important!Urgh, assassins! It's like organising a bloomin' preschool play!
*marches out*
J'Ghasta: Wow. She really is bossy.
Alval: How else do you think she got me in that skirt?
Banus: It's a kilt, Alval. They call it a kilt.
Alval: A skirt by any other name is still a skirt.
Lucien: I think she gets the bossy side of her from her mother.
Leonette15: *comes back in* And, how would you know anything about my mother? Bearing in mind that the well-being of your manhood depends on your answer!
Lucien: I just...met her a few times...
Leonette15: Good boy. Twenty minutes, people! Let's move it!