time passes, a broadchurch fanfic

a/n This is my first Broadchurch fic! :) Whoo! It's a freeverse from Beth's perspective.

fifteen Years
/

since you first saw him

as you walked into school

the new boy in year twelve

fifteen years

since you first talked to him

outside the school

waiting for your bus

fifteen years

since he asked you out

It had been a hot day in June

and you'd been flattered

so you said

yes

fifteen years

since you introduced him to your parents

by accident

when they came home early

and found you watching bad telly

curled up on the sofa

together

fifteen years

since your father lost it

because your boyfriend was older

(

two years

fifteen+seventeen

)

fifteen years

since you replied that

.you. .didn't. .care.

because you loved him

and you

fifteen years

since he

answered the phone at

3AM

to hear you

sobbing

because you'd both been

farfarfar

too stupid

fifteen years

since your father kicked you

o u t

because you were

p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t

and he was ashamed

even though your mother

him not to

fifteen years

since you and Mark

moved in together for the first time

fifteen years

since you

became a mother

and he became a father

to a little baby girl

fourteen years

since he proposed

getting down on one knee

on the beach at Broadchurch

by the sea

fourteen years

since you said yes

thirteen years

since you got married

(became

MrsLatimer)

on the coldest day you can ever remember

but it was the happiest too

twelve years

since Mark set up his plumbing business

and you said at home to look

after Chloe

eleven years

since your husband

took you to Paris

on holiday

and you left your daughter with your mother

It scared you half to death

because you were

t/e/r/r/i/f/i/e/d

the whole time that

something

t\e\r\r\i\b\l\e\

would

happen

but nothing did

and you had two great days

eleven years

since you found out

you were having

another little baby

eleven years

since you told Mark

scared&happy&excited all at the same time

because you weren't quite sure

how things would pan out

eleven years

since your son was born

your Danny

eleven years

since you and Mark became parents

again

eleven years

since Chloe became a

b - i - g

sister

ten years

since Chloe started school

and she didn't want to go

and yet you made her

((all sad inside yourself))

nine years

since Chloe

came home from school

crying

because some girls were mean to her

and you held her

u.n.t.i.l

she fell asleep

[yourbeautifullittlegirl]

eight years

since you celebrated

your

twenty second

birthday

with a

birthday tea with

Danny&Chloe&Mark

and

you laughed

and

you laughed

and

you laughed

until you cried

six years

since Danny started school

and he cried

just like his big sister

and you realised just how alike

you all really were

four years

since your dad

finally said

sorry

and you

finally

forgave him

four years

since Danny first became

friends with

Tom Miller

and you became

friends with

his mother

Ellie

four years

since Chloe started big school

and you

started fearing

that she'd end up going down the

same path as

you

(not that you weren't happy with your life)

because as every day passed

she became more and more

like you used to be

and Mark told you not to be silly

because you'd both done a

good job

at bringing her up

three years

since things you started working

at the local

tourist information

two years

since you noticed the

growing distance between

you&Mark

and wished you were imagining things because you

loved him too much to lose him

and yet you

.didn't. .do. .a. .thing.

a year

since you realised that

your life

was boring

and

[e.v.e.r.ysingled.a.y]

was the same

You wanted change but you didn't know what

six months

since

everything

fell apart

twenty six weeks

since your

b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l b/o/r/i/n/g l-i-t-t-l-e l/i/f/e

was

shattered into a million pieces

by a

forgotten lunch box

backed-up traffic

and

a body on Broadchurch beach

twenty six weeks

since your Danny

was killed

twenty six weeks

since every

cra/\ck

and

frailty

in your marriage was

pushed onto

the big screen

twenty six weeks

since you stopped trusting anyone

twenty six weeks

since your family imploded

and everyone became strangers

to you

twenty four weeks

since

you found out you were having another baby

and you didn't know what to do

twenty three weeks

since you found out your husband

slept with another woman

and you fell apart all over again

twenty one weeks

since

you argued like cat and dog

with Mark

about everything

and you knew in your heart of hearts that

you loved him

but that it might not be enough

twenty weeks

since you and your family

((You+Mark+Chloe—Danny))

started to seem real again

and the strangers stepped back into

familiar shoes

twenty weeks

since you decided you

wanted your baby

and you saw that maybe there

was a chance

for

you&Mark

nineteen weeks

since you met up

with a woman who

knows what you're going through

and she tells you that

couples with murdered children

usually end up getting divorced

and you wonder if you're going to add

to that statistic

or if you'll survive

eighteen weeks

since the man who ruined your life

was caught

the man who

m-u-r-d-e-r-e-d

your Danny

and

made all your lives stop

and yet it didn't help at all

because it was someone you trusted

someone you thought you knew

Just went to show how you can never know anyone

really

eighteen weeks

since you saw Ellie

standing in the dark

and you couldn't help but ask her

.HOW. .SHE. .DIDN'T. .KNOW.

that she shared her bed with a murderer

seventeen weeks

since you buried

your Danny

with your Mark

and your Chloe

fifteen weeks

since Ellie

said goodbye

and you gave a sigh of relief

as you watched her go

except you knew

wasn't

her

fault

thirteen weeks

since you tracked her down

to a nice&pretty

village

an hou away

where

daddy isn't known as a murderer

...

thirteen weeks

...

since you sat in Ellie's new living room

drinking tea and crying

because you lost your son

and she lost her husband

and the loss

was unbearable

...

''''''''''

thirteen weeks

''''''''''

since you forgave her

ten weeks

since Mark took you to Paris

just like before

and you realised that

sometimes

even in the darkest hour

there's a light at the end of the tunnel

and life goes on

seven weeks

since you decided once and for all to stay

in Broadchurch

even

after

everything

five weeks

since you found out you were having a girl

and you all cried with relief

because you didn't know

what any of you would have done

if you had a boy because

he never could

fill Danny's place

in all your hearts

two weeks

since you and Mark started

feeling like you used to

and you realise that

you're not going to be another statistic

one week

since things started to feel

normal

again

or at least as normal as things were going to get

Now

you know that one day

things won't quite

hurt as they do at the moment

and that's a

good

thing

and you shouldn't feel guilty

about it

the end