My first ever fan fiction/one-shot. Leave reviews, and maybe even ideas, I am open constructive criticism but this is my first time so I apologise for any grammar/incorrect spellings.

This first one-shot will be set a few days after the kiss (who else fangirled at that? XD)

Disclaimer: The Bloodlines/Vampire Academy characters and storylines belong to the wonderful Richelle Mead!

Head or heart?

All I could think about was that kiss.

It had been about a week since Adrian had brought his soft yet powerful lips to mine, and it was all I could think about. The way he held me; so protective. The way he kissed me; so passionate. The way- Snap out of it. I snapped at myself bitterly, you can't be together, you know that.

I tried to distract myself with homework, but to no avail. Everything reminded me of…him. When I opened the green text book, I found myself thinking of Adrian's breathtakingly emerald eyes. When I read my English assignment, all I could think about what his oh-so-witty remarks and how they would fit perfectly. I missed them. I missed him. Things had become awkward between me and the emerald eyed Moroi.

I know it wasn't just Adrian's fault. He may have kissed me, but I kissed him back. I should have picked up on his behaviour, on his excuses to spend time with me, but I didn't. I was just too naïve. That kiss had made me feel more alive than I had in weeks, the feel of his strong arms around me, his soft lips on mine, it should have made me repulse… But it didn't. I still kissed him back, knowing that I could never have feelings for him. It was impossible. It was unnatural. It was wrong.

He's an evil creature of the night. I flinched at the word 'evil', because he wasn't. He was the most charming, witty, understanding person I'd ever met. He understood me like no one else did, he could make me smile when everything seemed to fall apart. But he was a vampire. I was a human. An alchemist human. From a young age, I was taught to believe that vampires were evil and unnatural. Alchemists weren't even supposed to be friends with vampires, let alone loving them.

You don't love him, I told myself sternly. You don't.

Or did I?

A knock at the door pulled me gratefully from my treacherous thoughts. I opened the door, to see a pair of green eyes staring at me. Jill. I stood aside, allowing her to pass. We hadn't spoken since the kiss either; she was always glaring at me. "What do you want, Jill?" I sighed, tired.

"Admit it. Just… Admit it." She sat on the edge of my bed, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Admit what?" I asked, sitting next to her. That I love Adrian?

Jill snorted. "You know what. He loves you. You love him-"she held up a finger as I started to protest "-I know you do. You're using the whole 'he's a vampire, I'm a human' excuse." She said, trying to imitate my voice.

"I don't sound like that," I muttered. She glared at me.

"As I was saying, you love him. You're too afraid to show him, you're afraid of getting hurt. I know you, Sydney. I also know him, and I can tell you he's never been like this with anyone. Not even Rose."

I pondered at her words, was she right? Was I using the whole vampire, human excuse as a protective blanket? Obviously, it was a huge obstacle. It would get me a trip to the re-education centre. If you ripped off the blanket, you'd find me vulnerable. Being stripped of love my whole life by my father, I was scared to love. Scared to get hurt.

As if reading my thoughts, Jill placed her hands on my shoulders. "He won't hurt you. You balance him. Don't hide your feelings. Trust me, they will come back stronger and complicate everything." I smiled at her; it was easy to forget she was still young. She was mature beyond her years. I pulled her into an embrace, shocking both Jill and myself. She froze momentarily, and then relaxed into the embrace.

"You have to choose," she breathed into my hair. "Head or heart?" I nodded.

"I love you, Jill. Thank you."

"I…I love you too, Sydney." She kissed me on the cheek, and left, leaving me to my own thoughts.

I had grown tired, tired of lying to Adrian, lying to Jill, lying to myself. I loved the royal emerald eyed Moroi. Without even thinking, I grabbed my keys and ran out of my dorm, into the lobby. I almost made it to the parking lot, but Ms Weathers spotted me. "Where do you think you're going, Sydney Melrose?" she asked.

"Coffee. Ms. Terwilliger." I managed to get out. She had been used to me going out at ungodly hours, fetching coffee for my history teacher. She nodded tightly, and I ran to Latte. I turned the keys in the ignition and felt the engine hum to life. Not thinking about my actions, I drove to Adrian's. When I had parked in a way that would make my mother proud, I got out of the car. His Mustang was parked, so I knew he was in. I made my way to his door, and knocked lightly. I looked back at Latte, was it too late to go back? When I turned back round, my question was answered with a pair of emerald eyes staring at me disbelievingly.

"Sydney," he breathed. I felt my heart pang with longing at his rare use of my first name. It didn't sound right, not on his lips.

"Yes, it's me. Are you going to let me in?" I joked. He didn't smile, just nodded and stood aside, letting me in.

"What do you want, Sydney?" he asked, deadpan.

"Adrian, I'm so sorry!" I threw my arms around him. He stood there, frozen. I looked up at him, only to be met with a look of confusion, hurt, affection and… longing.

"What are you doing, Sydney?" he asked, pushing me away. I felt foolish at my outburst. "You pushed me away, you hurt me. What did you think, you could come back and everything would be ok?"

Yes. "No." I breathed. That's exactly what I thought.

"Then what, Sydney?" He threw his arms up in exasperation.

"I shouldn't have left; I shouldn't have said the things I did. It's this-" I pointed to the golden lily plastered on my cheek. "It's…" I couldn't find the right words. "I know I hurt you. You confessed your love for me, and I threw it back into your face. That was wrong, I-" I faltered.

Suddenly, he pulled me into his arms, making my body tingle all over from his touch. His strong, safe arms were safe. I wrapped my arms around him, nuzzling my head into his chest. He pulled away, much to my body's dismay.

"What do you want, Sage?" he sighed.

What did I want?

"You."

In a second, Adrian's lips were on mine, startling me with the intensity of his kiss. Mine responded just as eagerly with no hesitation. My arms snaked around his neck, while his were wrapped tightly around my waist. This kiss was more intense than our last. He lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around him. Without breaking the kiss, he set me down on the sofa and leaned over me. His lips left mine, and wandered to my cheek and then to my neck, as he murmured my name, his breath hot on my skin. I undid the buttons on his shirt, and he shrugged out of it. He brought his lips back to mine, just as eager as before.

My fingers traced his spine, as I felt his tongue dart confidently into my mouth. I deepened the kiss, and his lips responded hungrily. This was the best kiss I'd ever shared, but then I didn't have much to compare it to. I had kissed Brayden once, but it was awkward and I wanted it to be over. This, with Adrian, was different. It was passionate, and I was dreading the moment where our lips would part. So wrapped up in the kiss, I didn't notice that Adrian had removed my shirt. Soon, other articles of clothing joined it.

His body was pressed against mine, pushing me into the soft cushions of the couch. His hands roamed down my stomach, onto my hips. Any hesitation or protest I might have had melted at his touch on my skin. His kisses were filled with such emotion, such passion, words that he wouldn't have dared to say. But I understood. I realised what he had meant by 'There's no one else who understands you like I do,'. We balanced each other.

He encircled my waist, and picked me up gently. We both looked into the other's eyes, as if waiting for the other to say this was wrong. But no protest came, this was right. If being with Adrian was wrong, I didn't want to live. I couldn't live without him. He kissed me with such passion, I thought my heart would burst. He then started walking down the hall. At the end of what seemed like the longest hall ever, was Adrian Ivashkov's bedroom.