They were happy. At least, that's what Poe remembered the most when he thought about the two of them. The small looks, the light touches, the quiet warmth that was Finn all flashed through his mind and smiled sadly to himself. It wasn't imagined right? He didn't read too much into those things did he? Maybe he was trying to force something that wasn't there.

No that couldn't be right. Poe was sure that Finn had loved him, he felt it so deep in his core. Thinking about it hurt him so much. The pain of whatever…this feeling was….it was almost too much for the pilot to take.

Gathering up his remaining supplies and carrying them to the X-wing, Poe tried to harden his resolve for his next objective. He couldn't let anyone stop him. Not even General Organa.

-6 months ago-

"Poe! You're ok! I thought you were going to die out there, what were you thinking?!" Finn yells at Poe as he embraces him tightly and kisses his neck.

"I don't care if I die as long as I can protect you, Finn." Poe replies serious for a moment before leaning into the soft mouth of Finn. "I love you, Finn. I…I couldn't bear the thought of you being in danger." He then pulled away and looked into the darker man's eyes, noticing the tears forming. He never wanted to make Finn cry; but he couldn't let the opportunity up to kill the remains of the First Order that had stripped him of his humanity and individuality. Finn was so incredibly expressive and had such a pure and beautiful soul. How could he let it fall into dark hands again? How could he not love this man so wholly?

"Let's just go get you cleaned up ok? You look awful." Finn sighed and let his shoulders relax a bit. He grabbed Poe's hand and half drug him to their private quarters. Finn pushed Poe gently on to the bed and put his hands out to tell him to stay there. He then disappeared into their bathroom to start a hot bath. He came back out and saw Poe sitting and watching his every move almost predatorily.

Finn started undoing Poe's pilot uniform slowly and quietly. After he was down to his boxer briefs and undershirt, Poe started to move and undress Finn as well. First his jacket, with the mark of the memory that Poe hated- when he almost lost Finn. It was before he loved him all the way, but it was still hard to look at. Then came his long-sleeved black shirt and his base-issued pants, socks and boots.

Both the men's breathing started picking up and they stared at each other, begging the other to make their move. They hadn't gotten fully intimate before- nothing more than kisses and experimental touches- Finn wasn't ready for more than that.

"Let me go check the water." Finn breathed out somewhat harshly. Poe let go of him and watched him walk away. For a moment, he forgot himself and where he was. Only flashes of people walking away and not coming back were hitting him, back from before joining the resistance. He shot up and briskly made his way to the bathroom, grabbing Finn from behind and holding onto him so tightly.

"Poe? Poe I'm right here I'm not going anywhere." Finn murmured, turned off the tap, and held Poe's hand resting on his left pectoral. He held it for a minute before pulling himself out of the pilot's grasp and stripping the rest of his clothes off. Poe did the same and they slowly got in the tub together, sloshing warm water onto the slate floor. Finn sat against the back of the tub, and pulled Poe to him so that he held him from behind.

Finn wasn't new to how his body reacted to Poe, and Poe had been with a lot of women, a few men and one or two that were neither, and knew that the hardness against his lower back was most certainly not Finn's favorite bar of soap. Then, before Finn could do anything to prevent it, Poe turned around and started running his hands down Finns chest, lightly grazing his hardened nipples and kissing him fully.

Finn's mind went still, trying to process what was happening. He knew what happened to his body when he thought of Poe, and kissing him and holding him. He remembered the sensitivity and the pain he felt in his groin. Those times were nothing compared to what he was feeling now. He struggled to find a rhythm in Poe's kisses and mirroring it in light thrusts of his hips. Poe groaned deep in his throat and broke from Finn's mouth.

Poe's whole demeanor changed. He became slow and gentle instead of needy and forward. It was then that the dam broke between them. Sighs erupted from both of them when Finn grabbed both of their erections hesitantly and rubbed. After a few strokes and shocks of pleasure, he became more sure in his movements and continued gently and more steady. Poe kissed Finn again and ran his thumbs over his sensitive nipples again. Finn's hand faltered and left their hard cocks to grab Poe's hair.

"Do-do you want to…..I mean…I'm so…" Poe trailed off, not sure how to ask for what he wanted, unsure if it was too much for Finn.

"Show me, Poe." And he did.

-Present day-

These were the memories Poe loved to remember the most, until they started to hurt to think about. He shook his head trying to clear his head. He needed to keep a blank mind to envision what this mission entailed and how to accomplish it.

It used to be so easy, him and Finn. How did he not realize what was going on? Finn slowly becoming more and more quiet, isolated, distant. He was so blind.

"NO! Stop thinking about him!" Poe shouted at himself. The tears were starting. These intense emotions were bad for him, for BB-8 who was under the plane, for…for Finn…

Suddenly his vision started to blur with the intensity of the tears falling freely. His comm unit started to crackle. IT was Organa, making him realize his covert mission was no longer a secret. He didn't give himself enough time.

Oh well he didn't need much more.

Poe thought about the last time he saw Finn: walking away with a cold stare.

"You'll die Finn! You can't leave me!"

"I don't care."

"That's ok Finn, neither do I."