so yes this is the crappiest late bday present ever. I'm sorry Bianca. I tried. I really did. ;_; I think it went pretty well until around the last half so if you just want to read that it's totally fine. also excuse my fail attempt at writing smut omg. this is also sorta au i guess because the timeline is my bitch and i do what i want.
Pairing: S(p)uck, Puck/Sam
Warnings: sex, language, au-ish
Disclaimer: I clearly don't own Glee.
Sam Evans. Probably the weirdest kid Puck had ever met. Probably the hottest kid Puck had ever met. The only thing Puck knew for sure about him was the he wanted to fuck him. Badly.
Noah Puckerman. The coolest guy Sam had ever had the pleasure of walking past in the hallway and sharing a piece of gum with. Gorgeous enough to give Kurt Hummel a run for his money, and according to his sources, straight as a board.
It was only a matter of time before someone made the first move, and Puck decided that he might as well go for it.
"Hey, blondie. Wanna come back to my place and watch a movie with me?" Said blonde clutched his books tightly against his chest and nodded eagerly.
"That sounds great, Noah! Hey, it's Friday, right? We could even have a sleepov-"
"Dude." Puck clamped a hand over the dim boy's mouth, glancing around nervously as he checked to see if anyone had heard him.
"mmmf!"
"My name is Puck. P-U-C-K. Rhymes with fuck. Got it?" Puck paused and made a mental note to make Sam blush more often because he looked delicious when he did. "And don't EVER say 'sleepover' again. That's like the gayest thing ever. Say something like 'yo, Puck, can I crash at your place?' Sounds much better, doesn't it?"
Bushy eyebrows furrowed together as Sam processed this new information. He stuck out his tongue, not noticing when Puck's intense gaze dropped down to stare at the muscle. "That sounds so… weird though… Puck. Why can't I call it a sleepover? That's what I'm doing! Crashing sounds so violent and… No-Puck? Why are you beating your head against that locker? You'll hurt yourself!"
-liiiineeebreeeaaaaak-
"Please tell me you're joking."
"Hm? What's wrong?"
Sam was lucky Puck didn't have heat vision because if he did his pajama pants would have burst into flames. They were adorned with bright green frogs, all displaying the various activates frogs do during the day. "I named them all too," he grinned at the loud groan the football player let out. "Just kidding."
"Is there a reason you can't just wear boxers?"
He shrugged. "I thought you would be uncomfortable when you got aroused at the sight of my gorgeous body." He was relieved when Puck smirked at the statement.
"Bro, your cool factor definitely just raised. Only a tiny bit though. It would get even higher if you took those damn pants off."
The blonde tilted his head to the side, considering his course of action. There was a small chance Puck might actually be so turned on by him that he would just throw Sam to the ground a ravage him like an animal. Sam cleared his throat, a light blush painting over his cheeks. He quickly grabbed onto the waistband of his pants and pulled them down, freezing when he heard another groan from Puck.
"Pink? Seriously? I give up." He threw his muscular arms in the air to emphasize his point.
Sam turned bright red and muttered something that sounded like 'real men wear pink' before pulling his pants completely off. His shirt followed quickly. He missed the way Puck's dark eyes swept over his exposed flesh hungrily as he took a seat next to him.
"This is kinda awkward," he murmured, wrapping his arms around himself self-consciously and resting his chin on his knees.
"Huh? It's not like I'm looking or anything. I'm not gay. It's not weird. Well, unless you're ga-"
"N-no! Of course not. I like girls. Like, um. Santana is really hot." The blond bit down on his full lower lip, his eyes burning holes into the ground.
An awkward silence stretched over the room and Sam began wishing he hadn't taken the offer to stay at Puck's. He was just about to suggest going to bed when the dark-haired boy beside him finally spoke.
"Do you think I'm hot?"
"W-what? Why would you ask something like that? I just said I'm not gay!"
Puck shrugged. "Hey, I'm pretty hot, man. It's totally not gay if you think so, it just shows you have some sense." Puck sprawled himself out over their makeshift bed, putting himself on display for Sam's eager eyes.
"Uh… uhmm… well, yeah, I guess you're pretty sexy. You have, um, nice abs. And um. Your arms are really muscular and that's really hot. Um. Yeah." If it was possible, Sam would have died from humiliation.
One of those muscular arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled the blonde over so he was almost on Puck's lap. "Aw, thanks kid."
"Um… Puck? We're like… really close right now."
"I know."
"Well, I mean, it's really uncomfortable for me, so like, unless you want me to sit on your lap you should let go…"
"Eh. Effort."
Sam made an adorable little squeaking noise. "C… Can we just go to sleep now please?"
"Are you even tired?"
"Um, yeah, I'm really tired." Puck shrugged and rolled onto his side, leaving Sam to stare at his back. Sam pouted for a few seconds before he remembered that he was the one who suggested sleeping. He closed his eyes and tried not to concentrate on the tempting boy sleeping next to him.
When Sam woke up, the room was pitch black and there was a warm hand shoved down his boxers. Another hand clamped over his mouth and his eyes finally adjusted to see Puck looming over him.
"I know what you're thinking. 'Oh, Puck, you sexy sex god you, why is my cock in your hand?' Well Sammy boy, I'll tell you. I'm bored. And horny. However, you're my guest, so I thought it would be polite to get you off before making you do the same for me."
Sam whimpered when Puck's hand left his mouth to assist the other in removing the blond's boxers. "Puck, stop! What if your mom walks in? You said you weren't gay, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Do you ever shut up? Just calm down and enjoy. It's not gay if we don't kiss." Sam was about to tell Puck how stupid that was, but the pink barrier separating his junk and Puck's hand was officially gone. Puck spit in his hand and Sam tilted his head back in anticipation. Tan fingers wrapped around his shaft firmly, stroking gently and experimentally.
Sam bit his lip, wondering if he should mention to Puck that his dick wasn't going to break off if he actually applied some pressure. Puck finally tightened his grip and increased his pace right when Sam opened his mouth, causing a low moan to emit from the boy's throat.
He almost died when the wet heat of Puck's tongue circled around the tip of his cock. "P-Puck!" He shot up, trying to push said boy away. Puck opened his lust-filled eyes, staring directly into Sam's matching ones before winking and returning to his task.
Sam watched helplessly as Puck's mouth descended on him, deep-throating him like a professional. He struggled to hold back his orgasm, not wanting to embarrass himself. Unfortunately, Puck chose that was the best moment to moan, his throat vibrating around Sam's cock. He arched back, his toes curling and his vision whiting out as he came in Puck's mouth.
He couldn't even be bothered to comment on how Puck swallowed every drop of his seed. He just concentrated on making sure his bones hadn't actually dissolved, because it sure felt like they had.
"Your turn!" The dark haired boy chirped cheerfully. Sam stared blankly at him, struggling to form words.
"Y… you're kidding… right…? … I can't… feel my legs…"
"Well, I was hoping you were going to use your mouth, not your legs…" Puck smirked.
"I hate you," Sam murmured as he reached for the waistband of Puck's boxers.
"Want to stay another night?" Puck sounded as if he was gasping for air, and it filled Sam with glee to know he'd given Puck a mind-blowing orgasm.
"Hell yes."
I'm going to kill her.
That was all Sam could think when he saw Santana and Puck practically swallowing each other's faces in the hallway on Monday. He stood there watching as the crowd pushed him around, a murderous look on his face.
Puck finally pulled away for air and looked directly at the geek. He grinned and waved him over, but Sam decided it would be best to take his rage out on someone else.
Someone else happened to be Kurt Hummel, and taking his rage out happened to be attacking Kurt's mouth with his own.
Sam wasn't as dense as people thought he was, and he could tell Kurt had a crush on him. He wouldn't say he was using Hummel, he was just being opportunistic.
At least Kurt wouldn't make out with Santana the next day. He kissed the smaller boy harder, his tongue plunging furiously into the brunet's mouth as Kurt struggled to keep up.
"You're seriously leaving? What am I supposed to do? I don't talk to anyone but you!"
"Stop being selfish! Look, it works out wonderfully for you. You don't have to break the news to Puck anymore. Everyone knows you're gay. Hopefully he'll have some huge realization that he might not be as straight as he thinks he is, but let's be honest, it's Puck we're talking about." Kurt rolled his eyes, frowning when Sam didn't smile at his joke.
Sam continued to pout. "I don't want to talk to him. He hates me."
The smaller boy slammed his locker shut, causing Sam to jump. "Oh, stop whining! Look, you have my phone number. If you ever need anything, just call me, alright?"
The blonde considered this. "… Can we have phone sex?"
"You… ugh!" Kurt glared at him before turning on his heel and walking away.
Glee club was hell without Kurt there to defend him, especially since Santana had prepared a list of several new, vulgar nicknames for Sam. He sat there silently as she read them off, his fingers clenching his chair so hard they were turning white and his cheeks burning crimson. She finally stopped when Mr. Schue walked in (Sam vowed to never be early again) but the damage was already done.
When Mr. Schue announced they would be doing duets, Sam nearly threw his chair at the teacher. Just my luck. On the day we need partners, I have no one. Whatever mysterious force is out there, why the hell do you hate me so much?
He finally breathed a sigh of relief when Santana was paired off with someone other than him, only to curse everyone who had ever lived when he realized that Puck and him were the only ones sitting alone. He stood up quickly and asked to speak to Mr. Schue in the hallway.
"Oh, um, alright. Get working on those duets, you guys!"
"Well, I can't work on my duet without a partner. Can't you wait, Sam?" Puck's tone was sickeningly sweet, and Sam shuddered from a mixture of fear and… well, it was pretty much all fear.
Sam lowered his head and nodded. "I-I'll talk to you when we're done, Mr. Schue," he said quietly. The concerned teacher looked as if he were going to protest, so Sam quickly hurried over to the seat next to Puck.
He refused to look into Puck's eyes. "If you don't want to work with me that's fi-"
"Why didn't you tell me you were gay before I let you blow me?"
The blond blinked rapidly, trying to prevent any tears from forming. "I… I'm sorry, Puck, but… that doesn't make you gay, if that makes you feel any better…" Sam wanted to tell Puck he was gay for different reasons, but he didn't want his pretty face marred by a bruise, so he held his tongue.
"Relax, bro. I'm not mad or anything. Well, okay, I was at first, and I punched a few lockers, but when I saw you being all lovey-dovey with Hummel I was like, fuck, man, who am I supposed to play Just Dance with now? I mean, I tried asking Finn, but he thought I was talking about the song and he got confused and shit and I just didn't have time to deal with that."
Sam finally looked up at Puck, an easy smile pulling up his full lips. "I accept your apology, Puck, even though it really didn't sound like one. However, you'll be getting the silent treatment for the rest of the day because I can't believe you asked Finn to play our game. I paid half! Did he pay half? No!"
Puck grinned back and punched him lightly on the arm. "Glad to have you back, kid."
"If I were talking to you, I'd say something like 'right back at ya, Noah!'"
"And then I would punch you in the mouth for calling me Noah."
Puck finally admits to liking guys after they have sex.
"That was really hot."
"Yep." Sam is once again attempting to move his limbs with no success, much to Puck's amusement.
They laid side by side, completely silent. Sam continued to try to move his body, hoping to roll over and get some sleep because he was pretty sure he had a test tomorrow. "Sam?" The blonde grunts in response. "I think I'm bi."
"Took you long enough to figure that one out." Puck's fist weakly collides with Sam's shoulder.
"I'm serious! Don't you want to hear about my journey to self discovery?"
"Let me guess… it dawned on you that you liked cock when you were shoving your's into my ass."
Puck smacked Sam on the forehead. "Stop being a douche. I was thinking… since I like you… and you like me… and I don't want to see you making out with anyone else in the hallways or anything… that… we could…"
Sam yawned, finally rolling over to prevent Puck from seeing his teasing smirk. "Oh, I'm really tired, Puck. I don't have five hours to sit and listen to you ramble, sorry. We can talk about this in the morning."
"I want to be your boyfriend!" Sam rolled back over and raised an eyebrow at the muscular boy next to him.
"You know you can't have sex with random girls if we do date, right?"
"Well, duh, I know that."
"Then we're boyfriends."
"Cool." Puck paused for a moment. "Should we… hold hands?"
Sam groaned. "No, we should go to sleep. We'll hold hands tomorrow, okay? And if you have an issue with doing it in front of everyone, then we're broken up, and you can be the record holder for the shortest relationship ever."
Puck wrapped his arms around Sam's waist and pulled him close. "I'm fine with it."
"Cool."
Sam flopped down next to Puck, breathing heavily from the strenuous dancing they had just completed. "This game… is fucking… awesome. Worth… every penny."
"I know." Puck's muscular arm snaked around Sam's shoulders. "You know, you never said thank you."
"For what?"
"Well, I dunno if you noticed, but since we've hung out you're way cooler. And that's saying a lot because you were so lame."
Sam rolled his eyes and sprawled over Puck's lap, grinning slightly when he felt Puck's obvious arousal pressing against his lower back. "Wow, thanks! I don't know how I could ever repay such a swell kid like you, Noah!" He yelped as Puck attempted to suffocate him with a pillow.
"What did I say about calling me that? No exceptions! Not even for you!"
Sam glanced up at him, batting his eyelashes. "Pwease? It's either that or my fluffy cuddle bear. Don't worry, I will say it in public."
Puck rolled his eyes. "Really? Threats like that don't work on me, Evans. I know I'm the greatest cuddler ever."
"Ouch, did I just get demoted to a last name basis? You've wounded me, Noah." Sam squirmed around until he was straddling Puck's lap. He rolled his hips down, a satisfied grin spreading across his lips when Puck groaned.
"Keep doing that and you can call me Noah."
Sam repeated the motion, leaning forward and pressing his lips gently against Puck's roughed, chapped ones. Puck responded passionately, tangling his fingers in soft blonde hair. Sam smiled shyly at him as they pulled apart for air. "I think that was our first real kiss."
"I don't think it counts after we've had sex."
Sam groaned. "You always have to ruin my romantic moments! Why can't you ju-"
"I love you."
Sam's eyes widened almost comically as Puck spoke. "… Really? This isn't just a way of shutting me up so you can get in my pants is it?"
"No. I love you, Sam Evans."
"… Oh. I love you too, Noah Puckerman."
They kissed again, and Sam thought back on every single day of his life just to make sure that this was definitely the best one.
It was.