This is a little starter fic. Not much depth, too much focus on OC's and no balance, but I thought it deserved a shot. It's my first attempt at a fanfic. I know this for a fact because I found it in a notebook from the eighth grade. Math notebook. I hope you enjoy it. I'm sure my eighth grade self worked very hard.

Second Attempts

Something vaguely about oranges. And chaos.

"Ugh, what are you talking about?" Irony sat up, rubbing her head. Her dream quickly escaped, slipping away as she tried to hold onto it. She wasn't sure what it was about, but it felt important somehow.

"Do you want an orange?" Wrath asked. He held an orange in front of her face. Her stomach rolled as her dream slipped away. She gently pushed his hand away with hers, sitting up and blinking hard. She had been sleeping. How strange.

"No thanks, kid." She got up, and walked over to the window, blinking at the sunlight. Stupid sunlight. It was annoying at times like this. She stretched and yawned, her cotton tank top exposing her pale midriff. "Where's Envy?" Wrath shrugged while he ripped the peel off the orange. After a moment, he got bored and bit straight through the orange, peel and all. "Oh joy, baby sitting again."

Envy sighed deeply, rolling his eyes. "Gluttony, are you done yet? Irony's gonna get all pissy cause I left Wrath with her again." His gaze remained at the ceiling as he muttered furiously. "I swear, with that girl it's like she's always crazy. Stupid girls." His eyes dropped back down to Gluttony. "Gluttony!"

"Almost done." He said as he chomped on the last few bones of the fat shop-owner. He whipped the blood from his mouth, and smiled in his childish way.

Envy smirked, "You're disgusting, you know that? You really need to get on a diet." He picked up the book the shopkeeper had died to protect. He had no idea why Dante wanted it, but whatever made her stop bitching was fine by him. He looked at the faded green cover of the slim book. It read The Philosopher's Stone and Its Fundamental Nature. Figured. She seemed to need every alchemy book in the entire world to be hers and hers alone. He looked up as the bell rang, signaling the opening of the door.

"Hi Gluttony. Hi Jerkoff" The figure in the doorway tripped over the slight opening and looked up. "You ate some random person again, didn't you, Gluttony? Don't do that too much, you'll get sick." Sarcasm said as she walked into the shop. Envy nodded, and gave her the finger. Gluttony waved. Sarcasm rolled her eyes and blew her dark bangs out of her face. "Okay, anyways Gluttony, I called Lust; she's almost done tracking down the Full Metal kid. She'll be coming back soon." She smiled gently and Gluttony leered back, a bit of flesh still stuck in his teeth.

"Good morning Bitch." Envy said. He felt her smack him and heard his jaw crack - she must have already been mad. Knowing it was nothing personal, he walked out the door, stepping on the bottom of cloak and making her stumble once again. A very predictable kick hit the back of his knee and his leg gave out for just a moment.

He walked outside and leaned against the wall, waiting for Sarcasm to do her clean up. She always knew exactly where things should go to preserve normal appearances, even if she'd never been there before. Gluttony tottered out and sat beside him, sucking on an overlarge finger. Three men stood across the street and even from the distance, Envy could smell the alcohol on their breath. Why did bars kick the drunks out a sunrise, disturbing the general public and himself? Sarcasm walked out, drawing her cloak tight around her self and glaring at Envy.

"It's the middle of winter Jerkoff. At least pretend to be cold." Sarcasm hissed. Envy rolled his eyes. He eyed the sack she had over her shoulder.

"What all did you steal Bitch?" he asked. "The entire store?" The group's little thief of a homunculus. She was always stealing things. She especially enjoyed stealing from him. Damn bitch was so confusing. Always trying to irritate him, but at the same time, nearly friendly. He would never understand her.

One of the drunks, the biggest, lumbered over. His unfocused eyes managed to lock on to Sarcasm. He stumbled over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey babe." he said, grinning stupidly. Sarcasms head snapped around, cold fury etched in her face. "You're pretty good looking. Wanna hang out with me?"

"You have five seconds to get your filthy hand off of me." Sarcasm forced through clenched teeth. The drunk paid no mind, wrapping his entire arm around her backside. She stiffened.

"Tell your friend she can come too." the drunk muttered. "She's not as good looking as you, but-" He was cut off by two blows. Reaching his five second limit, Sarcasm rammed her elbow into his fleshy stomach just as Envy realized the man was talking about him and slammed his fist into the man's chin. He fell back releasing Sarcasm, who kicked him as he fell.

"I AM NOT A GIRL!" Envy screamed, enraged. The guy scuttled backwards, trying to regain his breath. Sarcasm looked around quickly, then grabbed Envy's arm and broke it. In the moment of weakness, she dragged him into the nearby alley and pinned him against the wall.

"We're not supposed to attract attention you moron!" she whispered angrily, crushing his throat. Envy growled and kicked her in the stomach. She let go and Envy kicked her again, forcing her down. He landed with his foot firmly on her sternum.

"You didn't have any trouble hitting him when he was all on you." Envy muttered, pressing hard with his foot. Sarcasm grabbed his ankle and twisted it hard, pulling him down and breaking his ankle.

"I was going to hit him twice and leave, not make a scene like you." Sarcasm said. She stood up and walked away, confusing Envy. Normally she would have fought him until she won or they attracted the attention of the local police. Why was she walking off like that? He didn't notice footsteps behind him.

"You, spiky." came a voice behind him. He spun around, and stared at his opponent. A girl stood behind him. He couldn't see much of her, as a long jacket covered most of her thin frame and a hood left her face in shadow. Something about her voice seemed familiar though.

"What'd you say!?!" he screamed. The girl laughed, stopping him dead in his tracks. The little vagabond should have been terrified of him, not laughing.

"Nothing." she said, looking at the piece of paper in her hands. "You should watch your back today." She walked off, leaving her threat hanging in the air and Envy mystified. He looked at her retreating form for a few moments; he couldn't help but think he knew her.

Envy, that damn idiot! He had no idea of the meaning of Subtlety. Breaking out into a fight in the middle of the street. This was why she had to watch him. Make sure he didn't get himself in trouble with Dante. But she could never resist fighting him. That idiot needed to be hit every one in a while. It's not like it would hurt him for long.

"I smell sister." Gluttony said, sniffing. Sarcasm looked up.

"What did you say?" she asked, leaning down. "What do you smell Gluttony?"

"I smell sister. Sister heading home." That was all she needed to hear.

"Good job Gluttony." Sarcasm said, straightening up. She turned and started running full speed towards Dante's mansion. The little scuffle she'd had with Envy would be nothing compared to what he was about to get.

The warm water washed over her bare skin, a wonderful feeling. Water dripped from the tip of her nose and the ends of her short hair. She couldn't imagine how the others went without showering. It scared her that some on of them only showered when forced to. Gluttony was the worst. He only showered when he smelled absolutely putrid and Dante was screeching at him. Even then, it was only a cold shower to get rid of the filth… She shuddered at the thought.

Turning the water off, she grabbed the nearby towel and began drying off. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Who's idea was it to put a mirror in a bathroom anyways? Who wanted to look at themselves in the bathroom. Still looking, she grabbed to robe hanging on a hook and pulled it on. She stepped out of the door to see Wrath still sitting on her bed.

"They look happy." Wrath said, sounding almost sad. Irony walked over to the window. A couple sat on a park bench, eating ice cream together. Love made him gloomy? The kid was to young to understand love. She looked closer, and noticed that the woman looked a lot like Wrath's "mother"; long dark hair and those calm eyes.

"Hey, I think Sarcasm's coming back today." Irony said. The girl was overly violent and crazy, but Wrath loved her. She even managed to find a soft spot for the kid. Irony had no idea how she did it though. It was creepy to watch her go from kicking Envy in the face to hugging Wrath.

The door opened slightly and Irony turned to see a girl with cat ears. She blinked hard. That was impossible.

The girl looked at her and screamed, "IRONY!" Irony found herself caught in a giant hug that threatened to steal her breath.

"Misery!" Wrath yelped, joining the hug. "Big sister, you came back!"

"Course I came back Wrath." she said hugging him too. "I'm only three years later than expected." She let go of him and fluffed his hair, getting him to grin.

"Wow, hey, it's been a while, what are you doing here?" Irony asked.

"Not much, I was just wandering, and I remembered I lived here... A really long time ago. Man, I missed being here." She flopped down on the bed. Her tail twitched contently. "It was killer trying to get back here after three years." Her eyes darkened ever so slightly and her tail curled into a question mark.

"Irony, I think Misery-" Sarcasm burst through the door, then stopped short. "Misery." she whispered. "Envy said you were dead."

"Yeah, well Envy's gonna be dead next time I see him." Misery said. "I already gave him his warning." The door swung open once again.

"Irony, this girl-" Envy too stopped. Sarcasm grinned widely, showing every one of her teeth. Misery let out a low feral hiss and sat up. "Oh shit."