I close my eyes tight. Tears fighting to fall, and show how hurt I was. I was not one to show when I was upset.

'Why can he not see all the good things? Why must he only notice the bad?'

I bit my lip and look at the conversation we were having over the computer. I leaned my head back on the wall behind me, silently cursing myself for how stupid i've been.

'Is all of this even worth it?'

Tears start to fall, waiting for his answer of my confession of love. And I shake my head. Already knowing the outcome.

'He doesnt care. He doesnt consider me as someone he loves.'

I cover my face with my hands as I cry, for the love that I have for him, for the unreturned love. I never felt this way before. But I had never loved someone before. He was my first... I knew that no matter how hard I tried he would never be satisfied with me. I just was not good enough.

'Ro.'

I shook in sadness as i cried. Takeing deep breaths in, and holding them for a few seconds before leting them back out.

'Hee-chan.'

I cried louder and louder, my hands going into fists. My heart feeling like it was being ripped in two. I had never felt this way for a guy before. Never had I cared so much. Never had a guy made me so sensitive...

'Heero!'

I opened my eyes and glared at my computer. Hateing it for being the thing to bring the messages that made me hurt so much. I took deep breaths in and out, trying to calm myself. I knew he didnt like me to be so sensitive. I had been working on not being so sensitive. I had been getting better. But still it was not good enough.

'Everone has there first love, and there first broken heart...'

Drawling on that inner strength I kept deep down inside me, I shook my head. Wipeing my eyes, trying to hide away my weakness, I turned toward the computer again. A new strength within me.

'I've been through worse.'

With each breath I took, I became stronger and stronger. I knew I could survive this. Heck, it was only some guy.

" I don't need some guy in my life to be happy. I choose when im happy.'

I smiled a little to myself, takeing one last look at the guy I had loved. Letting myself feel for one last time, all those feelings I had for him. I remembered all the conversations we had, all the tmes I had gone to his house. All the times I cuddled into his side, and started falling asleep...

'Heero Yuy...'

I reached over and touched the picture of him that was up on my screen, and sighed, knowing the first would be the hardest.

'Goodbye my first love... I will always remember you and the lessons you have taught me...'

Slowly, I draged the curser on the screen to the folder named 'Hee-chan 3 My first love' I smiled one last time, biteing my lip as it started to quiver, then pushed the button that said 'delete folder and all within'. I closed my eyes tight. Remembering, yet also forgetting. Tonight was the day I had lost him. My first love. I looked at the screen. And the pop-up window saying 'Deleted'. I shook my head, blocking the emotions that wanted to flood in. The tears that wanted to fall. I knew this would make him happier. And I knew I was doing the right thing.

"Goodbye Heero Yuy."

I whispered to myself, smileing slightly as I said his name. Then finally I held down the laptops Shut Down button. And tried to move on with my life, for him..