Hello, UndyingSpirit here again. I know that I haven't updated in a while, but now I'm back and active with more ideas. Now, this is a one shot fic that I just had to get down…I might edit it later, but please bear with me. This fic is just Tai's views of the world around him. It's a little sad, and it won't get any better overall.
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. Simple as that.
"Suspended"
I'm not myself anymore…at least that is what I tell myself every day
I die inside knowing this fact, as well as feeling somewhat subdued by the events in my life
Have you ever longed to stay in a certain place in time, never changing and never moving on?
I find myself thinking about such things like these; wanting to relive the greater moments of my life
My whole life was all about ups and downs; the ups coming first while the ends happen after the final achievement of happiness
It is truly sad that my life had to end up like this, even at so young of an age
I had hoped that my life would last a long time
But now, I feel like I'm disappearing from the world, even though I am not sick, nor gravely ill
I had wished that I would be rid of the anguish that tears my already broken heart apart
Alas, I am not feeling the relief that I wanted
I am alone, no, I am more than alone
I am lost
I am lost in the times that I was at my best
I could feel the happiness that I had once felt during my reverie
Oh how I wish that this was real
Yet, I know that this is not real anymore than it is fake
I left my heart in those moments, feeling the relief of allowing myself to love something once more, as I had with those around me
The people around me; now, so distant a memory that I've forgotten their faces
Yet, now, I forget who I was
Who am I now? What am I now?
My memories are just like my heart; broken and scattered
The pain is unbearable, the torment unending
I wish to be released from such a fate as this
Doomed to be nothing more than a forgotten memory
It is the same as being dead
The dead are forgotten, and so are those who are lost among the world
Yet, I am still alive, and it hurts to be forgotten
They may have forgotten, but I haven't
I haven't forgotten who was the one in the most pain, the one who held the most responsibility, the one who was left behind
I am no more to this world
Let me rest among my solitude
Have I done enough to allow this pleasure?
Have I paid my dues to allow this release?
If so, then I welcome it into my arms
After all, what I really want…
Is to be suspended in my own world
Please, just leave me here, with the shards of my soul and memories
Just leave me here, in the past
A tear had fallen on to the paper that held the poem. The silence that engulfed the room, as the body of the author of the poem had fallen on top of the paper, had been all too much to handle. The author had closed his eyes softly as his mind drifted away to that place in which he called 'his world'. The lone tear that had dropped on the paper now dried up as the hot breaths that covered it stopped. The author's hand lay sprawled on the desk, revealing the scars of self-infliction. Yet, no blood was spilt in the end. The eyes of one so strong and yet so broken would never open again. The heart that once held love and anguish now lay petrified as stone. The soul of one so courageous had disappeared in an instant. And the life of one so revered as well as one so forgotten had ended.
May you find your peace, in the next world, o' courageous leader of a disbanded union.
End
I figure that this was rushed, yet I wanted to get this out so badly. Please don't flame me and please R&R. Thank you.
