So yes I'm doing yet another song fic about Severus, he's my fav character so go figure. This one is the opposite of the other two song fics about him. This is the original version where Lilly likes James. This is the saddest song I've ever heard: My Heart Can't Tell You No by Rob Stewart. I'm surprised that no one has done a song fic about Severus with this song. Anyways please enjoy and don't forget to review.
Severus sat alone, gazing at a couple that stood staring out at the lake. The girl had long flowing red hair and the boy messy black hair. Both were dressed in gold and red colors. She had her head leaned on his shoulder and their hands were intertwined. Severus looked away, unable to watch any longer. She said she would never date him. She said he was a looser…she lied.
I don't want you to come round here no more
I beg you for mercy
You don't know how strong my weakness is
Or how much it hurts me
"Sev…I wanted to say I'm sorry. I was just angry with you. And I miss being your friend, can we start over?" Lilly asked.
Severus closed his eyes and sighed. He couldn't keep being around her, not when they were just friends, not when her heart belonged to someone else. But part of him had missed her too, the part of him that was weak.
The words came before he could stop them, knowing he would regret them, "sure Lilly I'd like that."
She smiled and hugged him as she gave his cheek a kiss, "thanks Sev, you're the best!"
Lilly skipped away, her school robes bouncing behind her. Once she was gone Severus couldn't help the few tears that fell from his eyes as he raised a hand to the cheek she had kissed. It killed him to know that was the closest they would ever get.
'Cause when you say it's over with him
I want to believe it's true
So I let you in knowing tomorrow
I'm gonna wake up missing you, wake up missing you
Severus threw aside the invitation. He knew she was just trying to be nice, but it was an empty gesture. She knew very well he didn't like James. Severus couldn't even be there for her, the pain was just too much to try. He grabbed paper and quill and wrote a quick reply.
Lilly,
Thank you for the thought, but I unfortunately won't be able to come. My job requires that I travel often.
Until we meet again,
Severus
It wasn't a complete lie, being a Death Eater did require traveling. But he wouldn't tell her his real job. Not if he wanted to stay friends with her, but did he really? His weakness would be the death of him.
When the one you love's in love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture, I mean it's a living hell
No matter how I try to convince myself this time I won't lose control
One look in your green eyes and suddenly, my heart can't tell you no
"Severus…why didn't you tell me?" Lilly asked, her grip still on his left arm.
"Because, Lilly, I didn't want you to know. I'm not proud of it like Lucius."
"Then why did you let him convince you?"
"I…I don't know"
"If you hate it so much just quit"
"Lilly, it's not that simple. Once you commit you can't leave."
Lilly sighed and looked at him again, "alright, I'm sorry I got so upset. I believe what you have said."
Severus didn't look at her, his broken heart had half hoped she didn't forgive him. He glanced down at her hand and the glittering ring on her finger. How much longer could he take this torture?
I don't want you to call me up no more, saying you need me
You're crazy if you think just half your love
Could ever please me
Lilly sat in the familiar room, growing dark from the night's shadows. Severus held her in his arms as she cried. As any married couple does they had been fighting again, and Lilly came to Severus for help. But what help could he offer her if he wished she would just leave James? She could not see that the embrace he gave her was more than comfort; it was protection, a secret love, pleading her to return it. Why couldn't she look at him the same way he looked at her?
Lilly looked up at him, wiping away a few tears, "thank you Severus, you're a good friend."
Still I want to hold you, touch you
When you look at me that way
There's only one solution I know
You gotta stay away from me, stay away from me
Severus's already broken heart seemed to shatter at her words. A good friend, that's all he was. A tear fell from his eye before he could stop it, a symbol of his bleeding love for her.
"Severus?" Lilly asked quietly, "what's wrong?"
Severus wiped the tear away and stared down into those beautiful green orbs that made him weak. The face, though slightly aged, that still held the beauty that made him fall for her the first time. He wanted to tell her more than anything how he truly felt, but he couldn't. She was married, he had missed his chance.
"Why do you come here Lilly?"
When the one you love's in love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture, I mean it's a living hell
No matter how I try to convince myself this time I won't lose control
One look in your sad eyes and suddenly my heart can't tell you no
My heart can't tell you no
Lilly looked at him in confusion, "what do you mean Severus? We're friends aren't we?"
Severus looked away from her searching gaze. How could she not see that he desperately wanted to be more than friends? How could she not see the burning passion for her in his eyes? He couldn't live this anymore, couldn't be around her anymore. He had to stop this before it killed him. Severus looked at her again and saw her eyes filled with hurt and confusion. And Severus suddenly couldn't tell her no. Because she was his weakness, she was his flower.
I don't want you to come round here no more
I beg you for mercy
You don't know how strong my weakness is
Or how much it hurts me
Severus looked away again, he had to do this, he had to end this now. Before he got sucked down by her Titanic.
"Lilly, I can't be your friend anymore. I know you'll never understand, but we're… we're just better off without each other."
"It's James isn't it."
"What?"
"James is the reason you don't want to be friends anymore."
"Yes"
"I'm sorry he was such a jerk to you"
"It's not your fault Lilly"
Lilly gave him a hug, "goodbye Sev"
Severus tangled his fingers in her hair and breathed in her comforting vanilla scent for the last time, "goodbye Lilly"
'Cause when you say it' over with him
I want to believe it's true
So I let you in knowing tomorrow
I'm gonna wake up missing you, wake up missing you
Severus stood in a dusk shaded graveyard. Snow was gently falling around him, glittering when the lamplight caught it in its' rays. A few tears slid down his cheeks as he stared down at the gravestone. He waved his wand and conjured a white and pink water lily (her favorite) in his hand. The flower glowed a faint gold from the everlast spell he had put on it. He gently placed the flower on the cold stone as a few more tears fell from his eyes into the petals. A gentle red light flashed from the flower and a heart appeared within the flash, a truly unique magic was at work here…love. Severus slowly got to his feet again and he spoke softly, a whisper that could barely be heard above the chilling winter wind.
"I never told you that, from the first moment I met you…I love you. And now you will never know, but I my heart will always and forever belong to you Lilly Evens, even if your heart belonged to someone else."
When the one you love's in love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture, I mean it's a living hell
When the one you love's in love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture, I mean it's a living hell
{Sniff} So sad! When I first heard this song I instantly thought of Severus. And I know that some of you who either know the song or listened to it while reading realized that I made an error in the lyrics. I know that it really says blue eyes in the lyrics, but since it was Lilly I thought I should put in green eyes, but that's all I changed I promise. So, tell me how I did, did you like it, hate it? Please review.