Title: Tsumetai Yoru

Author: DiTsYgIrL

Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or the Song Tsumetai Yoru. Cheers.

Summary: A Tribute to Kyoya with Kyoya's song, Tsumetai Yoru/Cold Night. KyoyaxTamaki friendship. TamakixHaruhi. KyoyaxHaruhi (Onesided.). Oneshot. Song fic.

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tsumetai yoru no tsukiakari ni terasarete

Illuminated by the cold night's moonlight,

utsushi dasareru machi no kage ni kakureta

I hid in the shadows projected by the town

I watched them from afar. I watched them, hid by the shadow of the moon bouncing upon the large corporate building that, at the moment, did not look so corporate, but more romantic. I watched them speak. I watched her touch his shoulder and my heart clenched painfully.

shinjirareru mono nante

Thinking there was not a single thing

mou nani hitotsu nai to

left to believe in

For the longest time, I believed in her. I believed in him. He was my best friend. She was the one I wanted. But unknowingly, they took away the one thing I believed in. Their friendship, their consistency, gone from my world.

yukikau hitogomi no naka

Among the crowds coming and going

MONOKURO no sekai ni

in the monochrome world

unazuite ita keredo

I bowed my head

The very next day, we had a host club outing, without any customers. A Sunday. We were having another "commoner expedition". We were walking towards a commoner shopping center.

The light blinked, signalling us to start walking. I bowed my head as we dove in and out among the crowds coming and going. Haruhi noticing me, asked me how I was doing. My heart jumped, but I had to keep up my façade in this monochrome world, so I simply grunted and walked faster. Leaving her behind.

kizuitanda kimi no kotoba de

I realized, from your words

ashimoto ni yorisou hana hitotsu

The single flower nestled against my feet

A host club afternoon, I, in my quiet corner (if anywhere in the 3rd music room, at this time, could be quiet), taping quietly on my laptop, observed the rest of the host members.

Mitsukuni was laughing, eating cake and entertaining the ladies as Takashi silently and subtly watched over him, guarding.

Tamaki grinning to a blushing unsophisticated young lady as he charmed her with romantic words that had no meaning and a charming smile that held nothing behind it. Everyone, including me, knew that Tamaki held feelings only for the club princess, Haruhi.

Kaoru and Hikaru, pulling their brotherly love act that granted them so many lady customers. Seemingly, Kaoru had accidentally burned his finger making tea and Hikaru was "overreacting" but overreacting lovingly. Of course.

And then, that left Haruhi Fujioka. Speaking of said girl, where was she? I searched for her throughout the grand room.

Someone tapped my shoulder lightly and I jumped slightly out of my seat. Turning my head sharply, I saw her. The one both Tamaki and myself wanted. Of course, Tamaki with his extravagant words and twirling and wearing his heart on his sleeve won her heart. Who was I to have her heart… when some could swear I myself didn't have one?

Still, my heart, betraying my brain, lurched and sighed happily. But still, my brain was working overdrive. "Haruhi."

She scoffed jokingly. "Kyoya-senpai, you say for me not to daydream and to work to pay off my debt, but just then you were just that, weren't you?"

I blinked. Hmmm… I flipped my hand dismissively. "But that's different on two points."

"Two points…"

"One: I don't have a debt."

"Mmm.. true, but still, don't you need to work anyways."

"Two: I was working. I was taking information, for my reports." I'm such a liar. But good thing is… I am a good liar. Unlike some aforementioned people.

She just smiled. "Liar. Whatever you say Kyoya-senpai. To most people, you're just a robot but you know what, Kyoya-senpai?" She didn't wait for me to respond. Well… I probably wouldn't have said anything anyways, so who cares? "You really are human."

She laughed a small laugh and walked away, leaving me stunned. For me, her were like a single flower that she left at my feet each time she walked away. Walked back to Tamaki.

But every time she left a flower I found myself not caring so much who she went back to because I had my own little object that I cherished. My own little object that came from the other one I cherished so much. Haruhi.

ushinattemo
as if to insist

kowaku nante nai to
that I'm not afraid

iikikasu yo ni
even as I lose

aruki dashita…

I walked forward…

Even so, as I lay back into the softness of my four-poster bed, I knew that every second, I spent living my life as I did now. Every second was one more second where Haruhi grew farther and farther away. Every second that passed, she was slipping through my fingers and edging towards Tamaki Suou's smiling face and Tamaki Suou's emotional embraces.

Even so, knowing that, I walk forwards through my live, as if I'm not afraid of losing her, of losing everything I based my life around. Even my odd friendship with Tamaki, I could even try to pursue Haruhi with Tamaki around. If I were to try, it would be like friendship-suicide.

I walk forwards, even as I lose her a bit more each second, as if to show them. I wasn't afraid. I was Kyoya Ootori and these things didn't scare me.

But, even as I whispered these very words to myself, I didn't believe them because I knew inside, in the very back of all that I was, that I needed their friendship. I wouldn't be me without them. And that really scared me.

shizukesa dake ga

With only silence

boku no mune wo umetsukushi

filling my heart

nozomu koto nado

I have lived until now

shirazu ikite kita no ni

never know desire

Fast forwards 3 years:

"I do."

With those final words, their relationship sealed. A smile graced her angelic face. I knew that after all these years I should've gotten over it but I simply couldn't. My best friend and the girl I loved… now husband and wife.

When I wanted so much to be in Tamaki's place, all I could be was best man (which I was) and all Haruhi would ever see me as was a friend.

The day passed as a blur to me, ending with the reception. I gave a hollow laugh, thinking about it. Walking around entertaining guests, like the host club all over again and congratulating Tamaki Suou and the newly Haruhi Suou, the newly wed couple, over and over with a smile plastered across my face, it all made me feel sick in the pit of my stomach.

Every time I saw Tamaki, I felt jealous, envy, and I wanted his place with every fibre of my being. I wanted to be the one there surrounded by congratulating guests and tightly holding the old host club's princess: Haruhi Fujioka.

After the first hour of partying, I started to sink back into the background… just as I feared. I was alone in this world. Tamaki had Haruhi, Mori and Huni, Kaoru and Hikaru. I was the only left behind, in a corporate business world, where only money and prestige mattered. A sick, sick world, where I suppose princesses like Haruhi didn't belong.

Princesses like Haruhi belonged with princes like Tamaki who despite the money they had could protect her innocent mind and soul from that 'sick sick world'. Something I couldn't do. Not that I had ever been given the chance to try.

Now as I watched them from the shadows, the music crashing down on me, I could hear only silence. And the most deafening silence I had ever heard. And silence not on the outside because the outside world was loud, obnoxious yet full of joy that I had not yet experienced. But the silence was in my heart, filling it to the brim with silence.

Even with the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I felt thankful. For some reason, I felt thankful, thankful for Haruhi, and what she unknowingly gave my life.

Before I met Haruhi I had never known desire, love, or a great want for anything before. Sure I wanted my father's business, the Ootori empire, but it had nothing to how I wanted Haruhi. Nothing.

Although, I'm not sure, if it's a good thing that she made me feel such desire, but even so, she helped me learn. And that made me eternally grateful.

utagau koto no imi sae mo

Not even understanding

mou wakaranakute

the meaning of doubt anymore

yugandeku machi no naka ni

Feeling righteousness

tadashisa wo kanji

in the distorting town

nagasarete ita keredo

I was simply swept along, but

Fast forward 7 months

I wasn't sure how it happened. It seemed only yesterday that I met her.

I was lost on the commoner streets and there I bumped into her, a simple girl much like Haruhi. Yet unlike Haruhi. She was simple in her looks, her ways and her mind. Yet I grew to love her, more than I loved anything in the world.

By then, I completely understood and I had come to terms with the fact that I could never have Haruhi. I would never be the one to hold her or kiss her. Never, not in this life or the next would I have her.

So then, I had to move on. And, if I had never met Haruhi then that would've been easy. There were many mindless rich girls that my father knew that I could've easily had a relationship with. But as I had met her, my expectations were high but I knew that no one was like Haruhi. She really was, one of a kind.

Even the girl I loved now, could not match up to Haruhi. Inside myself, even now, I could feel conflicting emotions raging through my body.

But, last night, I decided that I would keep this girl even if Haruhi were to come running to me, because although Haruhi had taught me my first few lessons of life and love, this girl, the new girl had finished my crash course.

It had taken practically forever, but now I understand what it was like to truly be in loved but be loved back too.

No one could ever replace the place Haruhi had in my heart. She had been my first love, a love that I could never forget. But this new girl, I felt confident that she could hold forever that other part of my heart.

The part especially reserved for her.

Now, I did not understand the meaning of doubt any longer. Confidence in me, my new girl, and my new life coursed through my veins. In my new distorted life, in the lone town that I lived in, I had found true happiness. And because of that, I was sure that Haruhi would've been proud of me…

And I was proud of me too.

kizuitanda kimi no kotoba de

I realized, from your words

ashimoto ni yorisou hana hitotsu

The single flower nestled against my feet

Fast forward ANOTHER year:

"I do."

I smiled into her eyes, feeling now, complete. Completely complete. I laughed at that absurd thought and simply smiled back to me, as if she knew exactly what I thinking.

I leaned in to kiss her. As I my lips brushed upon hers, I found a thought repeat itself from so many years ago.

I realized from those words that she said so beautifully. The words, 'I do', that it was once again a gift. A gift, that maybe I deserved and maybe I didn't, but a gift nonetheless.

More accurately and specifically, it was a flower but a different flower from the ones that Haruhi used to give me.

As the flower fell upon my feet as a reminder of our love for each other, just as Haruhi's flower reminded me of our friendship, it gave special meaning to my life. My soul and my being.

I loved both her and Haruhi, their simple commoner lifestyles, the way they both understood me, the way they laughed, lived, loved and everything they did in their small simple commoner way. It entranced me.

My heart would always be split between the two, but I now know that the rest of me would always be shared between me and my newly wed wife.

"I love you."

Having been in my own little dream world, I did not notice all that happened around me but I smiled back at her and whispered to her.

"I love you too."

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A/N: Phew. Done. I was listening to Kyoya's song Tsumetai Yoru on my ipod and I was suddenly struck with this story idea.

REVIEW EVERYONE!!!!

Oh yah, I was gonna write A Hurt-Ridden Past today, but I had to get this story out so… I guess I'll save ch 4 for another day. Sorries.