Disclaimer: As usual, not mine. Damnnnn… Belong to the brilliant Tess Gerritsen and Janet Tamaro.
Be Mine?
"Damn, I hate this day," Detective Jane Rizzoli muttered out loud as she mounted the steps to the Boston Police Dept. Earlier that morning she was reminded, by her mother, that it was Valentine's Day and Angela Rizzoli had no prospects of grandchildren on the way. Or that her daughter didn't have any marriage prospects on the line.
"Why is that, Jane? It's the 46th day of the new year have you broken your resolutions already?" Maura Isles' voice came from behind. Jane whirled around to be greeted by the sight of an impeccably dressed Maura Isles, M.D., chief medical examiner for the city of Boston and the resident holder of Jane's heart. Jane took in the lovely sight of the doctor and felt her frustration grow. Maura didn't know the effect she had on Jane; Jane never sorted through her feelings about the examiner. She knew Maura was straight. Jane didn't want to ruin their friendship.
"It's Valentine's Day, Maura," Jane replied. Maura brightened.
"Yes, I know. Brock delivered a dozen red roses this morning."
"Of course." Jane's sarcasm was lost on Maura. Maura examined Jane's facial features to get a better idea of her friend's mood.
"Maybe Jorge will send chocolates."
"And lunch, and cook dinner for me, or send another car battery, Maura, but I still hate Valentine's Day!"
Maura shook her head as she entered the elevator and pushed the button for the morgue. "It's a wonderful day, Jane, you just need to adjust your attitude."
"How do you propose I do that, Maura?"
"Be loving to everyone you meet today, Jane. That should do it." Jane shook her head as the elevator door closed. Be nice to whatever scumbag she had to take down? Yeah, that would work. Jane went to her desk and unloaded her gun and badge. Booting up her computer she sighed. Then she heard Frost laughing on his phone.
"Bye, babe. See you tonight." Frost ended the call.
"Good morning, Jane."
"Eff you, Frost."
"Are we in a bad mood?" Korsak walked into the bullpen and placed a cup of coffee on Jane's desk.
"I hate Valentine's Day," Jane said through gritted teeth. She threw a death glare at Frost. "All you lovers make me mad."
"It's a day for lovers, Jane, get used to it," Korsak said. She swirled around in her chair to face him.
"You should know, Korsak, you've been married and divorced three times."
Korsak shrugged his shoulders. "It's a holiday for women and the confectionery industry, Jane. Have some chocolate."
"Yeah, where's Jorge, Jane?" Frost asked. "He should be good for some fudge clusters today."
"I still hate Valentine's Day," Jane muttered. "Maura already received flowers today."
"Yeah? I'm not surprised, she's a beautiful woman. Who's the lucky girl?" Frost asked absentmindedly.
"Girl? Frost!"
"Huh? Oh did I say girl? I meant guy," Frost hastily amended. Korsak rolled his eyes.
"Frost is concentrating on his date tonight, Jane, he isn't thinking about what he's saying," Korsak joined in.
"Just get a room, Frost, will ya? And keep us out of the loop. TMI."
Jane ignored the leap of her heart when Frost absentmindedly substituted 'girl' for 'guy'. She grabbed a file out of her in-basket and resolved to clean up her paperwork mess today.
Maura was shopping on the internet again, but not for shoes. She wanted to get Jane a valentine. Despite Brock's flower delivery he wasn't the man for Maura. Maura wanted to get the girl, Jane Rizzoli, to be precise. Maura finally decided she wanted to tell the tall, gorgeous, dark-haired beauty that had been her best friend for the past couple of years that she wanted more from their relationship. She just hoped Jane felt the same.
She came to this conclusion after Christmas. Maura always felt included as a Rizzoli family member during any occasion or family dinner, but she knew she wanted it to be official. Maura wanted a shot at becoming Maura Rizzoli-Isles. She confided in her mother a week ago, trying to find out how her mother felt about having another daughter instead of a son-in-law. Constance Isles was momentarily stunned but recovered quickly. She hugged Maura.
"Oh darling Jane is wonderful! Does she know how you feel?"
"Not yet, Mother. That's one reason I'm calling. How did Daddy let you know how he felt about you?"
"Your father is quite the romantic, Maura, but that came with training and practice. In the beginning he was like any other guy I knew. A couple of dates then 'your place or mine?' After a few years of marriage Richard knew how to be spontaneous."
"I feel a little out of water, Mother."
"Now why do you feel like a fish out of water, darling? Jane will be very lucky to have you."
"I feel lucky to have her as a friend. I don't want to mess that up if she doesn't feel the same way. I never really celebrated Valentine's Day when I was younger. I'm not quite sure how to get her attention."
"Maura, remember the valentines you made for your classmates?"
"You mean those construction paper monstrosities with all the glue and glitter?" Maura laughed.
"Yes. Remember Ronnie Simpson? You made one for him and you two were glued at the hip for months."
"Mother I hardly think Jane is going to receive a crudely made paper valentine from me and declare her love."
"You never know." Maura ended the call and sat there, thinking. Jane didn't date much and she declared all of them disasters. When they'd discussed the postmortem of all of Jane's dates Jane never once confided what a man could do to win her heart. So Maura didn't have any guidelines for her Valentine surprise. Maura wanted something classy, yet loving and funny. Something they could look back on in years to come and enjoy as a memory. Yet Maura was nervous. If she could entice Jane to join her for dinner somewhere and test the waters to see how Jane felt about dating Maura, would that work? Maura sat thinking and scrolling through various websites.
Jane sat at her desk working on paperwork. She missed lunch, feeling too grumpy to go out. She didn't even go down to the morgue to ask Maura to lunch, fearing Maura might have a lunch or dinner date and Jane couldn't face that. In the early afternoon Jane went to get more coffee and ended up in the café looking for a sandwich. As she sat at a table she tried to get a grip on her feelings.
What if I told Maura I'm in love with her? What happens if she says no, or heaven forbid, laughs at me? Jane thought. Her stomach rolled at the thought of Maura rejecting her. Can we go back to being friends if she rejects me? Can I face Maura on a daily basis, knowing she doesn't share the same feelings and laughed at me? Right then Jane knew she'd die before letting that happen. Oh well, at least she's my friend. But Jane knew that someday Prince Charming would come along and snatch Maura up. The friendship would end there as Jane knew many friendships died when one married and the other one didn't. She'd have to learn to live without Maura in her life. Jane finished half of her sandwich and dropped the rest in the trash. She just didn't have much of an appetite today.
A small card was propped up on Jane's monitor. A red heart shaped valentine, cut out of construction paper and covered in glitter. She turned it over. A computer printed label was on the back.
"Please be my valentine, Jane. Present this card to the maitre d' at L'Maison tonight at 7 p.m. and find out the identity of your secret admirer."
Jane read the message again. How could have sent this? Jane mulled over all of the possibilities in her mind. No, no man she knew. She tossed the card in the trash.
"What's that, Jane?" Maura's distinctive heels clicked on the floor. She reached down and pulled the paper out of Jane's trashcan.
"Probably a stunt someone's pulling, Maura. I'm not seeing anyone, why should I have a date at L'Maison?"
"You think this is a stunt, Jane?"
"Yeah, you know. Get Jane in a dress, entice her out to a nice restaurant and see her get stood up. Take pictures and post them on youtube."
"That isn't nice. Besides, maybe someone has their eye on you and hasn't let you know."
"Yeah, like who, Maura? Crowe? He hates me. Frost has a girlfriend and Korsak isn't my type. No, I put the card where it should be, Maura. Just throw it away."
Maura stood looking at Jane for a moment then carefully returned the valentine to the top of Jane's trashcan. She turned and retraced her steps back down to the morgue without responding.
Jane glanced at the clock once again. She checked the time every few minutes, alternating between feeling antsy about the possibility of missing out on something wonderful and self-pity for not having someone in her life. Check that, not someone, Maura. Jane wanted Maura in her life as a romantic partner. But Maura wanted Brock.
She got up and grabbed another beer wondering where Brock was taking Maura to dinner that night. Jane wasn't as familiar with the nicer restaurants in Boston like Maura was so she couldn't ponder the question too deeply. She settled back down on her sofa, determined to find something on tv to watch. She settled on the Celtics pre-game show and sipped her beer.
The pre-game show concluded, Jane got up to get another beer when she heard a knock at the door. She saw Maura through the peephole and opened the door.
"Maura what are you doing here? Is something wrong?"
"Yes Jane there certainly is something wrong." Maura entered Jane's apartment but stayed by the front door. She held Jane's valentine card in her hand.
"What are you doing with that? Are you going in my place?" Jane almost chuckled but stopped when she saw the fierce look in Maura's eyes.
"Maura, what's wrong? Did Brock say or do something inappropriate?" Jane asked. Jane clenched her fists in anticipation of smashing them in Brock's face. No one messed with Maura Isles if Jane had anything to say about it.
"This isn't about Brock, Jane. It's about us."
"Us?"
"Jane, someone invited you to a wonderful dinner at L'Maison tonight and you threw that away."
"I explained that, Maura. Somebody at the precinct is playing a joke on me. I won't put myself in that position."
"What if it isn't a joke?" Maura asked.
"Come sit down Maura and I'll explain how life works for the rest of us who aren't you," Jane smiled at Maura. Hesitating Maura finally crossed the room and sat next to Jane.
"Can I get you a glass of wine?" Jane asked. Maura shook her head.
"A lot of guys at the precinct would love to ridicule and make fun of me, Maura. Over the years I've weathered taunts, crude messages left on the bathroom walls, sex toys in my desk, you name it, whatever someone wanted to say, I was the brunt of their jokes. I am the first and youngest woman homicide detective in the history of Boston and some men don't like that. I'm sure whoever sent me this card is sitting outside of L'Maison, waiting to make a fool of me."
"The person who sent you that card, Jane, is sitting in this room."
"What? No, Maura. There's no one here but us." Jane said, looking around the room. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized Maura's meaning.
"Wait a minute, Maura, you sent me that card?" Jane sat back in a daze. "What happened to your date with Brock?"
"I never had a date with Brock, Jane. I turned him down. I've had feelings for you for a long time. I was hoping we could make our friendship into something more but I see I made a mistake." Maura stood and headed for the door. Jane leaped up when her brain registered the fact that Maura was leaving.
"Whoa, Maura, wait a minute. You sent me the card?" Jane repeated. She grabbed Maura's wrist. "Please stay. I need to sort this out." She led Maura back to the sofa.
"I am unhappy that you threw my card in the trash, Jane. I feel like you threw me away." Maura said as tears made their way down her cheeks.
"Maura, no, I would never throw you away. I had no idea." Maura looked down at her hand encased in Jane's. As much as she hoped for this to happen she knew now it could never be. She pulled her hand away and stood.
"I'm sorry, Jane. I should have realized you could never love me." I don't know why I'm so unlovable, Maura thought as she walked to Jane's door. She felt like she'd never be in Jane's apartment again.
"Wait, Maura. I didn't say anything."
"I know, Jane, it's okay. You're straight, you just haven't found Mr. Right and maybe Agent Dean will come back soon. You don't need to tell me."
"No, Maura, that wasn't what I was going to say." Jane took hold of Maura's shoulders and turned her around so Maura was facing her. Reaching up Jane cupped Maura's cheeks with both hands.
"I was going to say how much I've loved you since we first met. That's why I hate Valentine's Day, Maura, or I did. I kept picturing you and Brock together and I couldn't stand someone else in my place."
"You-you love me?"
"Yes. When I got your card Maura the label on the back was printed on the computer. So I thought it was a joke." Jane reached down and took the card from Maura. "Instead I love it. I'm glad you saved it from the trash. It's a beautiful card."
"I've wanted to tell you for a long time, Jane, but I was afraid I'd ruin our friendship."
"I know how you feel. What changed your mind, Maura?" Jane pulled Maura close to her.
"I've been afraid you'd meet someone, fall in love, get married and I'd be a memory of someone you used to work with. I knew I couldn't stand that, so I had to tell you. When Brock showed up with his flowers this morning it was the last camel."
"The last straw, Maura." Jane smiled at Maura's flub. Leaning forward she captured Maura's lips in a gentle kiss. Pulling back she looked at the m.e.
"I love you, Maura."
"I love you, too Jane but you need to get dressed. We have a dinner reservation at L'Maison and I had to pull many strings to get it."
"Yes, ma'am," Jane grinned and practically skipped into her bedroom to get dressed. She decided Valentine's Day was one of her favorite holidays.
Just a little fluffy fun for Valentine's Day…