"Must...Find...Antidote"
Chris Larabee heard snickering as he walked further into the work area. Then he heard Buck's gawfs coming from the lunch room. Still carrying his briefcase he entered the room. Seeing not only Buck but also JD, Josiah and Nathan, he felt fairly safe going in.
"Chris is not going to like this," Nathan muttered.
"You worry too much, my friend," Josiah consoled, "This is truly funny and imaginative. Buck, JD, my hat is off to you."
"It wasn't us, but I wish that I could say it was," Buck put in.
"You wish that you could claim what?" Chris finally said.
"This Dilbert comic," JD said, making room for his boss to see what the commotion was about.
Larabee moved in and saw what he meant. For that day's Dilbert comic strip, a doctor told The Manager's Secretary to switch to decaf. In order to make life simpler for her, she switched the entire office coffee to decaf. Then the creativity came in. Instead of seeing engineers and The Manager collapsed along the corridor, in their place were members of Team Seven. And instead of Wally saying, "Must...Find...Antidote," it was the well-known coffee addict, Ezra Standish saying it instead. Then Chris got a closer look. "Why am I the woman?"
"I think that, "Fist of Death," comes to mind quite easily, Brother Larabee," Josiah smilingly replied.
Chris just glared at him. "Take. It. Down. Now."
"But Chris, this is funny! Just think of the work the person put into this! This is a work of art!" Buck protested. "And by the way, that was a great William Shatner Impersonation!"
"Besides, everyone else in the building has the exact same one posted up, too," JD added in.
Larabee turned to him. "What?!?"
JD gulped. "Yeah, well, in their lunchrooms, and it was also emailed to us."
"By who?"
JD shrugged. "I couldn't find out. They covered their tracks well."
"Maybe it was Ezra," Nathan suggested, knowing that he was reaching.
Chris glared again, then shook his head. "No, Ezra's good, but this is today's strip. He'd have to get up early, make copies, laminate them all, come down here and post them all up. Could Ezra do this? Possibly. But would he get up real early voluntarily to do this?"
"Nah," the team chorused.
Well, I can only imagine what Ezra's reaction will be to this," Buck chuckled. "He emphatically states that he is not a coffee addict, but a 'conniseur' of coffee."
"Yeah, Ezra will be mighty miffed," Buck agreed. "I mean, look, he's wearing glasses, a short-sleeved shirt that's not tailored and a tie not made out of silk."
"Well, it's eight o'clock. We'll find out in an hour," Nathan commented. "Hey, where's Vin?"
"His jeep broke down. Again. He'll come in an hour with Ezra," Chris answered.
"Ez picking him up?"
"Yep. Let's get some work done before the entertainment starts, shall we?" Chris suggested before heading into his office.
Later that morning,
"Mr. Tanner," the team heard as the elevator door opened, "I am not going to argue with you over something so... trivial as this topic!"
"You know I'm right, Ez."
"No, you are not correct. Having the audicity of saying that is completely and utterly insane," the undercover agent continued.
"Sure, you keep on sayin' that. But you know I'm right," Vin said as he the duo went to their desks.
"What are you two arguing about now?" Nathan asked as Buck snickered, trying to find a way to get Standish to go to the lunchroom.
"Mr. Tanner has stated the Bohemian Rhapsody is superior to "The Creation" by Handel!" Ezra exclaimed as he set down his briefcase and opened it, taking what he needed out.
"Ah, c'mon Ez, punk music is easier to get into."
"First of all, Mr. Tanner, Queen is not punk. It is considered to be rock. Secondly, if you want 'classic' music of the punk genre, it would have to be The Sex Pistols or the Clash"
Josiah's curiousity picked up. "That is right, Brother Ezra, but how do you know that?"
Ther was a pause as Ezra turned to Josiah. "I am not one who is of lower intellect, Mr. Sanchez."
"I never said that you were," Josiah defended.
Ezra sighed as he finished his task, grabbed his coffee cup from his desk and went to the lunchroom. "At least by bringing you in with me this morning, Mr. Tanner, I have the luxury of knowing that you did not create any of your ill-brewed coffee substitute." Buck snickered loudly. "Is something the matter, Mr. Wilmington?"
"No, Ez, just being reminded of what a coffee lover you are."
"I am not a 'coffee-lover,' Mr. Wilmington, I am a conniseur of--"
"I like said, Ez, coffee lover."
Ezra stared at him long enough for Vin to enter the lunchroom first, shook his head and went in. Everyone got up from their desks to cover the lunchroom door. Chris had seen Ezra and Vin heading that way through the office window and also went.
"What is this monstrosity?!?! And what is more, who in their small tiny pre-pubescent mind would ever do something like this? It's juvenile, an abomination to the original, it's--"
"Funny," Vin chuckled.
"It is not!" Ezra turned to Wilmington and Dunne. "Mr. Wilmington, Mr. Dunne, I demand that you remove this...abstraction immediately!"
"So, who wants to tell him?" Buck asked as he gleefully clapped his hands.
Ezra turned to him, his eyes narrowing. "Tell me what?" He then rounded about to Vin who had made a gesture to Buck and JD about a noose around their necks. "Please do not play with the animals, Mr. Tanner. They do not need any more ideas."
"Oh come off it, Ez!"
"Fine. But rest assured gentlemen, payback will be a bitch," Ezra stated looking at the CDC inhabitants.
"But it wasn't us, Ez!"
"Maybe it was Vin," JD replied.
"I took a look at Mr. Tanner's car. It has died, never to be revived again. He would have no way of being here before me," Ezra replied.
"But honestly, it wasn't me, Ez!" JD protested.
"Fine. Mr. Dunne, please do not take the blame away from the true mastermind, Mr. Wilmington."
JD shrugged. "Okay."
"Hey!"
"He told me not to take the blame from you, so I'm not."
"Well, I sure as hell didn't do it and trust me, I would take the credit if I did this!" Buck retorted. "I mean, it's shear genius for putting Chris' face on Alice's body!"
"Buck."
"And him wearin' a skirt..."
"Buck..." Chris growled
"And not havin' the legs for pullin' it off..."
"Bucklin!" Chris yelled.
"Don't interrupt my moment!" Buck yelled back. "And havin' Ez's head on Wally... Why couldn't it have been me that thought up of that? Why?"
"This morning was fun," Vin stated as the jag left the federal building parking lot.
"I must admit that it was an enjoyable morning at work," the Southerner agreed.
"At first I thought that everyone would get who did it, but than I got to thinking; would Ezra Standish voluntarily get up early in the morning to do all of this work, to get two co-workers into trouble? Then the answer was so clear to me."
"Indeed."
Vin smiled. "And I want to thank-you for letting me in on this." He cocked his head towards his colleague. "Are you sure that you should be driving? You didn't have much sleep, if you even got any at all! You had everything ready for this morning's paper--and I still don't know how you knew what today's Dilbert comic was going to be--"
"Connections," was the undercover agent's answer.
"Yeah, well, you still have everything set up and when the paper came to the 7-11, you quickly cut it out and got that ready for that copy place. Hey Ez, how did you know about that 24 hour copy place?"
"A gentlemen never gives away all of his secrets, Mr. Tanner. After all, where is the fun in that?"
Vin snorted. "Yeah, well, I have to thank-you for showing me those new ways of getting in and out of work. Never know when they may come in handy one day." Vin chuckled. "It was funny though, seeing Chris' face attached to Alice's body. I thought that he would have gotten more flak from everyone else in the building, though."
"Fist of death, Mr. Tanner," Ezra commented as he turned onto the collector lanes. "In this case, a comic strip has a fairly accurate idea of our leader." Silence. "Besides, it is a perfect set-up for something planned in October."
Vin's eyes went wide open. "Ya gotta include me on that! Please!"
"Of course, Vin."
Vin smiled at this. "So, what's planned for October?"
"In due time, Mr. Tanner, all in due time."