Disclaimer- I don't own the characters of Harry Potter, if I did I wouldn't be sitting here now, I'd be hungover and wrecked from millionaire's parties. But I'm not.
Pairings- Remus/Sirius for the time being...
Warnings- SLASH! and some mild thoughts of self harm.
My first HP SLASH FF. I know it's fluffy but please don't gut me like a fish. If I get reviews, I'll put up my second chapter with dedications.
With a scowl on his usually laughing face, Sirius sat pondering over the heap of thoughts and memories jumbled together like so many reels of film in his head; a head full of much more pressing matters than usual sixteen year olds. All around him, the Gryffindor common room grew rowdy, cluttered and unorthodox, yet he felt miles away from any of the warmth and well being that was so infectious. Alone in his thoughts, he sat in his favourite chair near the roaring fire watching the glowing red ashes tumble forth and spring up again, the firelight and heat burned his fair skin and he turned his cheek away to look to where his best friend James Potter and his other friend, Peter Pettigrew sat surrounded by people. Sirius watched James's hand rise subconsciously to the back of his untidy black hair and ruffle it, Peter watched admiringly along with the horde of girls penning them into their seating area. He smirked and turned back, watching the fire again, the light reflecting in his dark glittering eyes, one partially obscured by the ebony hair falling casually over it.
"Padfoot..?"
A light voice snatched his attention away and Sirius turned jerkily to face the speaker, none other than his other best friend, Remus. Feeling awkward, Sirius pushed his hair back from his face, his eyes round and questioning towards Remus's liquid amber orbs.
"Aren't you going to join James and Peter tonight?"
He smiled knowingly and folded his slender arms across his chest gently; the chocolate brown sweater he wore enveloped his slightness with great ease and made the almost translucently-pale skin of Remus's face seem ivory against the dark wool. Something odd flicked at Sirius's stomach and he merely looked at Remus's willowy frame, his pale skin, the gold flecked chestnut hair that fell around his heart shaped face and those eyes…large in innocence and questioning, fringed with long lashes that flickered over his elegantly curved cheekbones. It took a moment for Sirius to realise Remus's lips were moving and he answered, looking away as he did so.
"No…in fact, I'm going to bed. Night…"
Looking a little surprised, Remus nodded and turned to leave, his amber gaze still locking onto Sirius's dark one until he turned completely and walked away, sitting in a dark corner with a leather-bound book obscuring his face. It wasn't until Sirius had mounted the dark stairway alone and lay in bed, staring at the hangings that hid him from the rest of the dormitory that he realised that there was something more than surprise in Remus's eyes. There was hurt. But what was there to be hurt over? Nothing. Nothing compared to my own turmoil thought Sirius miserably. The awkwardness, the sudden noticing of Remus's delicate features, Sirius ached to touch his soft ivory skin, to protect his slim frame, to kiss his rose lips. But no! This wasn't normal. Normal was laughing it up with James and Peter. Normal was teasing Remus about the amount of books he read. Normal was liking girls. Not your best friend. Sirius probed his own emotions until he was exhausted and he turned his cheek to the soft pillow, listening lazily to the roar of voices and laughter below, still feeling as alone and confused as ever.