"Get the fuck off of me you asshole!" Chas screamed pulling away from the older mans touch.
"CHAS! Please don't do this!" John pleaded inching closer towards the sobbing teen.
"You don't have a clue what my life's like! All you wanna do is fuck me! Is that all I am? A hole for you to screw? Is that all I mean to you"
"What are you talking about?" John asked his eyes fixed on the blade in Chas's trembling hand.
"I'm talking about THIS!" Chas screamed waving the cold steel in front of his face.
"Why's it okay for you and not for me huh? I can't stand IT! I can't stand YOU!" Chas screamed salty tears rolling down his pale cheeks.
He regretted it the minute he said it. John's face showed the hurt, the hurt that he never revealed.
"Fine Chas you can't stand me... but don't throw away your life. Trust me it's not worth it kid"
"I'm not a KID John! Even now you don't get me, you don't know who I really am"
"Then show me, let me know who you are Chas"
"Why I'm Chas Kramer! Punch bag, fuck toy and general piece of fucking SHIT for people to walk all over!" Chas sobbed his anger temporarily leaving him.
John took his chance grabbing the blade quickly from Chas's hand.
The boys eyes widened knowing he had lost, John had won... again.
"Chas c'mon talk to me, tell me what's wrong"
"HA!" Chas laughed.
"Same as always John, same old shit over and over... The fantastic life of Chas goddamn Kramer"
"Chas, listen to me. Everyone has a plate full of shit to deal with, you aren't any different! You say you aren't a kid so stop acting like a goddamn fucking KID already"
Chas was taken aback he didn't expect John to be so blunt with him but he was right playing games with John was the last thing he needed right now. He needed space. He needed to get rid of all these emotions he was feeling.
"Fine." Chas finally said pushing past John making his way towards the front door.
"You're not leaving, Chas not in this state." John said taking the boys arm.
"WILL YOU JUST STOP! You're such a fucking hypocrite john! First you tell me to stop acting like a kid and deal and now you won't let me"
"Acting like a kid Chas would be to walk through that door and slitting your wrists in some alley to get your own back"
"JOHN! Open your fucking eyes! You just don't get it, I NEED to get over this... You know I could deal, I could put up with all the shit I put up with but I can't deal with you. John I LOVE you, I love you and you can't bring yourself to love me back. Fine don't love me, no one has and no one ever will I can DEAL John but I can't deal with you as a constant reminder of what I could have!" Chas sobbed trying to pry John's hand from his arm.
John just stared looking deep into those big brown saucers that were Chas's eyes.
"Are you saying this is my fault? That you tried to kill yourself because of me"
"No, John I'm just saying... you... I... never mind it's not important." Chas sighed felling exhausted all of a sudden.
"It's important to me." John said softly, kissing Chas gently.
Chas closed his eyes letting the feeling of John's lips on his own comfort him, soothe him.
"I love you Chas..." John whispered softly into the kiss.
"Wha...?" Chas's eyes widened quickly pulling away from the kiss.
"Don't make me say it again"
"Just one more time, John so I know I'm not imagining it"
"I love you Chas." He said again closing his eyes.
Chas moved forward putting his arms around John, letting his tears fall freely.
"Thank you." Chas sobbed leaning his head in the crook of John's neck.
"You don't know how much that means to me"
"Yes I do." John replied.
"You think I don't get you Chas, you think I don't care but I do. You're not just a hole for me to screw, you aren't just some kid. I don't want you to hurt Chas, I don't want you to make the same mistakes as I did. I just want to protect you and I can't"
"You don't have to John. All I want is YOU, not your protection just you and that stone heart of yours okay"
"Okay." John replied nodding slightly.
"Chas"
"Yeah John"
"My heart isn't 'stone' anymore"
"Yeah well you don't have to thank me or anything..." Chas said smirking into Johns shirt.
"Just promise me one thing." John said seriously.
"Sure... What is it"
"You'll ever put anything sharp and pointy anywhere near those pretty little wrists of yours"
Chas laughed.
"I'm serious. You mean too much to me and if I came home to find you lying in a pool of blood I don't think I'd be able to take it"
"I promise John"
"Good now get that hole of yours in the bedroom!" John said a smirk on his face as he released Chas from the embrace.
"Hey! John c'mon I ain't just a"
"I was KIDDING geez lighten up a little"
"HAHAHA very funny John"
"Hey I try my best"
Chas smiled the forgotten blade a long lost memory because he had John Constantine's love and there was nothing else in the world that he needed.
"CHAS! Please don't do this!" John pleaded inching closer towards the sobbing teen.
"You don't have a clue what my life's like! All you wanna do is fuck me! Is that all I am? A hole for you to screw? Is that all I mean to you"
"What are you talking about?" John asked his eyes fixed on the blade in Chas's trembling hand.
"I'm talking about THIS!" Chas screamed waving the cold steel in front of his face.
"Why's it okay for you and not for me huh? I can't stand IT! I can't stand YOU!" Chas screamed salty tears rolling down his pale cheeks.
He regretted it the minute he said it. John's face showed the hurt, the hurt that he never revealed.
"Fine Chas you can't stand me... but don't throw away your life. Trust me it's not worth it kid"
"I'm not a KID John! Even now you don't get me, you don't know who I really am"
"Then show me, let me know who you are Chas"
"Why I'm Chas Kramer! Punch bag, fuck toy and general piece of fucking SHIT for people to walk all over!" Chas sobbed his anger temporarily leaving him.
John took his chance grabbing the blade quickly from Chas's hand.
The boys eyes widened knowing he had lost, John had won... again.
"Chas c'mon talk to me, tell me what's wrong"
"HA!" Chas laughed.
"Same as always John, same old shit over and over... The fantastic life of Chas goddamn Kramer"
"Chas, listen to me. Everyone has a plate full of shit to deal with, you aren't any different! You say you aren't a kid so stop acting like a goddamn fucking KID already"
Chas was taken aback he didn't expect John to be so blunt with him but he was right playing games with John was the last thing he needed right now. He needed space. He needed to get rid of all these emotions he was feeling.
"Fine." Chas finally said pushing past John making his way towards the front door.
"You're not leaving, Chas not in this state." John said taking the boys arm.
"WILL YOU JUST STOP! You're such a fucking hypocrite john! First you tell me to stop acting like a kid and deal and now you won't let me"
"Acting like a kid Chas would be to walk through that door and slitting your wrists in some alley to get your own back"
"JOHN! Open your fucking eyes! You just don't get it, I NEED to get over this... You know I could deal, I could put up with all the shit I put up with but I can't deal with you. John I LOVE you, I love you and you can't bring yourself to love me back. Fine don't love me, no one has and no one ever will I can DEAL John but I can't deal with you as a constant reminder of what I could have!" Chas sobbed trying to pry John's hand from his arm.
John just stared looking deep into those big brown saucers that were Chas's eyes.
"Are you saying this is my fault? That you tried to kill yourself because of me"
"No, John I'm just saying... you... I... never mind it's not important." Chas sighed felling exhausted all of a sudden.
"It's important to me." John said softly, kissing Chas gently.
Chas closed his eyes letting the feeling of John's lips on his own comfort him, soothe him.
"I love you Chas..." John whispered softly into the kiss.
"Wha...?" Chas's eyes widened quickly pulling away from the kiss.
"Don't make me say it again"
"Just one more time, John so I know I'm not imagining it"
"I love you Chas." He said again closing his eyes.
Chas moved forward putting his arms around John, letting his tears fall freely.
"Thank you." Chas sobbed leaning his head in the crook of John's neck.
"You don't know how much that means to me"
"Yes I do." John replied.
"You think I don't get you Chas, you think I don't care but I do. You're not just a hole for me to screw, you aren't just some kid. I don't want you to hurt Chas, I don't want you to make the same mistakes as I did. I just want to protect you and I can't"
"You don't have to John. All I want is YOU, not your protection just you and that stone heart of yours okay"
"Okay." John replied nodding slightly.
"Chas"
"Yeah John"
"My heart isn't 'stone' anymore"
"Yeah well you don't have to thank me or anything..." Chas said smirking into Johns shirt.
"Just promise me one thing." John said seriously.
"Sure... What is it"
"You'll ever put anything sharp and pointy anywhere near those pretty little wrists of yours"
Chas laughed.
"I'm serious. You mean too much to me and if I came home to find you lying in a pool of blood I don't think I'd be able to take it"
"I promise John"
"Good now get that hole of yours in the bedroom!" John said a smirk on his face as he released Chas from the embrace.
"Hey! John c'mon I ain't just a"
"I was KIDDING geez lighten up a little"
"HAHAHA very funny John"
"Hey I try my best"
Chas smiled the forgotten blade a long lost memory because he had John Constantine's love and there was nothing else in the world that he needed.