A/N: This is the sequel to Capturing Hikachu, a crack!fic if there ever was one. I wrote this for Blind Go on LJ, and was as a result, the most correctly guessed author. Ahah. I think this will be my final addition to that particular crack world, and I won't be doing it again. Whew
As everybody knows, neither Hikago no Pokemon is mine. Thank you.
Hatching Eggs
Ogata frowned at the purple and yellow spotted egg lying innocently before him. It had appeared overnight, and no noise had woken Ogata from his sleep. Still, where it had come from was not in doubt. Who and how were the more appropriate questions.
"All right," he said, looking down at the culprits standing on the ground beneath him. "Which one of you laid this egg?"
"Hika!"
Hikachu looked the very image of a proud papa. Every once in a while he would flit to the egg, caress it gently with one tiny paw, and disappear only to reappear again in front of Oddkira to nuzzle him lovingly. From observing Hikachu alone, it would have been natural to assume that it was Oddkira who laid the egg.
The other half of the pokemon pair was not however, acting very much like a mother. Instead Oddkira eyed the egg with a very proprietary air. It tolerated Hikachu's exuberant showering of affection with an occasional returning nuzzle. Oddkira never made a move to touch the egg, but then again, it probably couldn't. Oddkira possessed neither arms nor hands.
"Fascinating," Professor Oaks said from behind. "It's impossible to figure out who is male or female in this pairing based solely from observation, let alone who laid the egg. I don't suppose you've tried checking?"
"How?" Ogata said, wondering why, if checking was so obvious, Professor Oaks hadn't tried to do it himself already.
"Oh, haven't you picked either of them up and poked or er…looked around? You know, checked for—"
"No," Ogata answered flatly. The glare he directed at Professor Oaks' growing enthusiasm let him know that he was not going to tolerate any molestation of his pokemon, even if recent events had led him to separate them from sheer frustration. Which was why the egg was doubly mysterious. How had his pokemon managed to hatch an egg between them when they hadn't been in contact with one another for the past few months?
"These two haven't been together for a while now, haven't they?" Professor Oaks said. "You reported that they don't get along?"
"Yes. They fight whenever they're together. The last time they fought I saw Hikachu use his lightning bolt on Oddkira, which was why I separated them." It had been worse than that. The squeaks coming from the pokeball that Ogata had assumed were affectionate had been anything but, and the latest fights they had had been absolutely frightening. Ogata groaned, and wondered why the two couldn't be like the other pairing. His recently caught Wayamander and Polisumi were both quiet, sweet pokemon who got along the way paired pokemon ought to. Months together and there hadn't been a peep from either of them. With Oddkira and Hikachu Ogata couldn't leave them alone for five minutes before a fight broke out.
"Well, the egg seems to have settled them at least," Professor Oaks said.
"For the time being," Ogata admitted. He turned back to his pokemon. Hikachu had finally calmed down, and was now curled around the egg with an expression of content. Perhaps it was the one who laid the egg. "I'll ask you two again. Which one of you laid the egg? Hurry up and we can get this over with and you two can be back in your pokeball."
"Kira," Oddkira said, but what that meant neither of the men knew.
"A mystery…" Professor Oaks said happily. "I don't suppose you'd let me keep these two for further observation for the next few weeks?"
And have himself free of the troublesome pair? Ogata quickly agreed.
"Since neither of you will answer," Ogata said, eying the innocently quiet pair, "I'll leave you both here until we can figure things out."
All he received as answer was Hikachu's preening. It's tiny chest was puffed out in pride, and the black and yellow striped tail twitched back and forth in excitement.
"Hikachu!" it said in farewell.
At three 'o' clock in the morning two weeks later, Ogata was unceremoniously awaken by the insistent ringing of his videophone. He greeted Professor Oaks on the other end with bleary eyes and a grouchy disposition.
"What is it?" he snapped. "It's three in the morning here."
Professor Oaks was so excited that he had paid it no mind.
"Ogata, you must hear this. I know now why your pokemon are always fighting!"
Sleep immediately left him. He leaned forward, and grabbed the screen with both hands.
"Well? Tell me?"
"I was going to!" Professor Oaks said happily. "But their fighting…it's not because they are trying to kill each other."
"It isn't?"
"No! It's their mating ritual." Ogata nearly fell off the bed in shock. "Yes!" the other man continued, unaware that he was about to give Ogata a heart attack. "Without the ah…stimulation their reproductive areas will not function."
"Alright. So can you explain then, how they managed to create an egg when I separated them?"
"Aaaah…" Professor Oaks said, sighing with triumph. "You see, it is separating them that allows them to start. After a fight, the two of them naturally separate. During that time the newly stimulated portions begin something very similar to asexual reproduction."
"Wait, they both do this?"
"Naturally. Each splits off a part of itself, and the pieces join outside to form an egg. A fascinating way to reproduce, don't you think? Those two are a fine example of symbiosis. I suspect that it is Oddkira who passes his cloning abilities to Hikachu while it is the latter…"
"Enough," Ogata said, waving his hand irritably. He did not want to hear anymore about his pokemon's mating habits. "So as long as I keep them together, they shouldn't mate, correct?"
"Well yes…but they'll be untrainable during that time."
Ogata switched off the videophone later that morning, angry at his now two useless pokemon. He woke up later that afternoon to see another round purple and yellow spotted egg on his coffee table.
Ogata cursed.