Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me; I'm just playing with Meyer's characters.

Chapter 1

EPOV.

This would be the first girl I would kiss in over a hundred years.

She was small, bright-eyed and perky. A fuzzy pink sweater clung to her ample curves, giving her a healthy glow I could never acquire. Soft lips curved into a smile as she leaned into her neighbour to hear the latest gossip.

I closed my eyes, picturing her naked. Mmm. Decent rack, but could lose a few pounds. Not half bad, I mused.

Enough for a quick fumble in the closet.

I chuckled darkly at the thought. After spending over a hundred years alone, I reckoned it was long overdue. I couldn't pretend anymore. I was so tired of forcing myself to smile and laugh in the stifling company of my family. Oh, I loved them with all my heart – but they had found in each other moments of release, their own personal moments of privacy. I shuddered at the thought of playing another wretched love song to be met with three happy couples.

I, Edward Cullen, formerly Edward Masen had finally snapped.

I knew watching Rosalie practically dry hump Emmett to death would push me to the limit, I thought sullenly.

I wouldn't have an Alice. I wouldn't even have a Rosalie.

Oh, but I'd tried. I'd searched through insufferable schools, filled with dull students and taught by idiots. I had lived in the continual showers of England, the clouds and snow of Canada, and had toured nearly all the states of America. Yet I had always failed to meet the one.

Her.

So here I was, in Forks. Another small time town, filled with small time people. I narrowed my gaze, looking back towards the pretty blonde on my right. She certainly wasn't my future.

But she could be my right now. However brief, she could help fill the aching void that lay heavy in my un-dead heart. With women, surely I could overcome the loneliness.

It was then that she turned around, to meet my scorching gaze. Her mouth dropped comically when she saw it was me. Her heart sped up so rapidly, it was hard for me not to notice.

That's right Allie Hartley.

Edward fucking Cullen is looking at you.

She quickly regained her confidence, shooting me a seductive smile. She looked me up and down, slowly resting her eyes on my crotch. She then licked her lips, as if she was hungry. I almost snorted with laughter.

It's meant to be me that eats you, love.

I shook my head in regret. These girls were all the same, preening over themselves with superficial smiles and twittering laughs. But goddamn it, I was sick and tired of being a fucking virgin. Alone, in what seemed to be the Cullen household of couples. It was a surprise I wasn't blinded from witnessing my parents making lovey dovey eyes to each other, or from the down right dirty acts committed by my siblings. A memory flashed over me, of walking in on Emmett and Rosalie's role-playing…

"You're a good kitty aren't you Rose?" Emmett crooned from the bed. Rosalie jumped up, clad in a shiny PVC cat outfit which squeaked every time she moved. I winced in embarrassment. Funnily enough, Emmett didn't seem to notice. Rosalie began rubbing her head on his chest, attempting to purr seductively. Suddenly, she went wild, tearing off Emmett's clothes and meowing loudly as she bent down to his…

I visibly shuddered.

I couldn't take it any more. I'd been strong, but now was the time for me to shed my Victorian attitudes and repressed attitude.

It was the time for me to get laid.

** ** **

Six months later.

BPOV

"I'm going to be late!" I groaned, running a brush through my hair. It caught on a roller, almost yanking out a clump of my hair.

"Fuck!" I screeched in pain. Damn Renee and her attempts to 'beautify' me. She'd insisted on accompanying me on my move to Forks, planning on a last girly night before she joined Phil on his baseball tour. She'd painstakingly sectioned my brown locks to be clamped into individual rollers that had to be kept in overnight. They had dug into my skull, rendering sleep virtually impossible.

Unsurprising then, that I'd slept through my alarm.

Twice.

I hastily managed to unclip the last offending roller in my hair, and managed to brush the rest of my brown locks. A quick glance at the mirror rendered me speechless. My dull hair had been transformed into a mahogany freaking mess. Biting back a scream I emptied my bottle of Evian into my hands, using the water to attempt to smooth down the frizz.

"Bella! Oh darling, don't you look wonderful!" Renee squealed, as she popped her head into my room.

"I look like I've been electrocuted," I muttered under my breath. I turned to Renee smiling apologetically, "thanks Mom, but I've really gotta dash, I'm running late…"

"I know sweetie, that's why I got your outfit sorted." Renee smiled widely. "I know you don't like to shop, so I did it all for you – look!" She thrust out a bag from behind her back.

I mentally groaned. Oh kill me now. Trussed up like a turkey on my first day of school. I don't think so. But one look at Renee's face told me otherwise. Her smile faltered, her hand still holding out the bag out to me. I eyed it with trepidation, envisioning floral patterns and loud colours. She means well I reasoned with myself, and I reached forward to take the clothes. "Thanks Mom, I appreciate the thought," I said honestly.

Her face lit up with happiness. "My pleasure! Now you better hurry or you'll miss your first lesson!" She swept out of the room.

I grumbled, pulling out masses of material that had been stuffed in one deceptively small bag. I grabbed some black skinnies with relief, and found a white rolling stones t-shirt to put on. I grabbed my red flat shoes, hopping on one foot to shove them on.

Flustered, I grabbed my bag and jacked and flew down the stairs. Renee stood next to Charlie, tears filling her eyes. She wordlessly handed me a pop-tart, before pulling me into a hug.

"I'll miss you sweetheart," she whispered into my hair. I squeezed her back, surprised to feel my eyes well up. "I'll miss you too Mom," I mumbled. We drew back, and I gave her a weak smile.

"I'll be fine," I reassured her. It's you I'm worried about. I glanced at the clock, noticing the time. My eyes widened, and I crammed the pop-tart in my mouth whilst flinging open the front door.

"Bye Mom, bye Charlie! I'll see you after school!" I yelled. I clamoured into my rust bucket, and screeched out of the driveway. My parents stood at the porch, watching me drive away. Charlie patted my mother's head uncomfortably, as she cried into his chest. I winced, understanding how awkward my father must feel.

I finally reached school, fifteen minutes late. I ran up to the entrance, fumbling for my timetable in my bag, almost missing the step. Stumbling into the hallway, I looked anxiously for Room 103, which housed my first class; biology.

"105, 104… 103!" I crowed with triumph. As I reached for the door handle, I curiously found myself trembling with nerves.

I had an awful feeling this would be an eventful first day.