Author Notes: Thought of this story at the dinner table. Couldn't resist. It'll be several chapters!

Warning: Slash, Swearing, mild violence, food fights, deductions, Road trips, Music, Brotherly 'Love', Queen, The Trashmen, Mycroft and Shelrock being difficult, Mycroft ready to kill everyone, Sherlock being bratty,

Characters Involved: Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, Greg Lestrade, and John Watson (Mummy and Daddy Holmes later on)

Disclaimer: this amazing cast of characters does not belong to me in any way shape or form. They go to their respected creators. Yadda yadda yadda Sherlock isn't mine yadda yadda yadda. i don't own the music either yadda yadda yadda

Sherlock glared at John from across the table. Family dinner? Mummy hadn't even been able to get Sherlock to go to family dinner, how had John been able to? Sherlock tried to remember how he'd done it when Mycroft's voice pulled him from his reverie.

"Pass the peas."

Sherlock watched the peas shuffle down to his end. He thanked them both and the meal continued on in silence everyone oblivious to Sherlock's internal screaming.

"So how was everyone's day?" John tried.

Sherlock stood. Breathing the same air with these people was one thing, trivial unimportant chit chat was the last straw.

The army doctor sighed, "Sherlock be reasonable." He knew this would happen. Everyone moved at once to get the detective before he ran from the room. A phone rang.

Mycroft sighed watching the phone screen glow as an incoming caller came up. "Mummy?" Mycroft read aloud.

Sherlock froze mid-step. Leap frogging over Greg, he looked over Mycroft's shoulder as he answered the phone. Mycroft shook off his younger brother escaping into the other room the lanky detective hot on his heels.

Greg watched the two linger in the hallway, after the phone snapped shut, for a moment. He'd never seen the two shaken like that. "They weren't expecting her to call?" He asked John and he shrugged. Minutes later, the two came back crestfallen looks on their faces.

Greg couldn't help himself. "Well?"

Mycroft looked at him. "Mummy somehow found out about our relations to you two and demands to meet you both."

Greg looked at John and Sherlock before looking back at Mycroft. It was true they'd all tried to keep their relationships secret. Sherlock and Mycroft had dangerous jobs. Who knew what a person could do with that information.

John raised his eyebrow. "How did she find out about us?"

Mycroft looked at him, completely serious. "Mummy knows everything." He said.

Greg stared at him, slightly scared, before shrugging. "Do you not want us to meet your mother?"

Sherlock was the first to react. "It's not that. Mummy lives several hours away and we'd all have to pulled around a dinner table talking about the weather." Sherlock bit out the last part.

Greg snorted. "Well, time to get out of your comfort zone. If your mothers half as scary as I think she is we'd better leave tomorrow."

Mycroft sighed picking up his phone. "I'll schedule a car to pick you up Gregory and a car to-"

"-We're not all going together?" John interrupted.

"Together?" Mycroft repeated, looking at John, eyebrow raised.

"Like, together together?" Sherlock asked staring at John the same way.

"It's not like I'm suggesting murder-" John said.

"Hours in a cramp car with the British government and his umbrella stuck up his arse and you might as well be." Sherlock mumbled.

"-It's just a road trip together." John continued as if Sherlock hadn't said anything. "We'll all be able to bond." Sherlock groaned just thinking about it.

"Though I don't agree with the umbrella comment, I do believe Sherlock has a valid point about our being in the same car together. It would be easier on everyone involved if I just had two cars take us." Mycroft said pulling out his phone.

"But Myc." Greg said wrapping his arms around the man. "We just want you two to learn to get along a bit better. Please." Mycroft looked at the man holding him and sighed snapping closed his phone.

"Fine."

"Traitor." Sherlock mumbled.

John elbowed him in the ribs. "So it's settled. One car, all of us inside?" John asked. Sherlock opened his mouth to say something. John elbowed him again and he bit his tongue. John eyed him as he blinked back tears and Mycroft called his assistant, her name was Daphne now, to get the car.

"This is going to be fun." John grinned and Greg mirrored the smile. the two began talking about what to bring along at the dinner table.

Sherlock stared daggers into Mycroft when he turned back to him. Mycroft shrugged. Greg's happiness came before his own discomfort. Sherlock sighed falling dramatically onto his couch watching his deranged family plan the trip. Two egotistical geniuses, one armed Detective inspector, and a trigger happy army doctor all in a packed car for who knows how long. This was not going to end well.

Chapter One Complete! Hope you enjoyed!