A HEAVENLY ENCOUNTER
I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.
"Can You Feel My Heart" by Bring Me the Horizon
Daryl stalked out the doors of the convenience store, searching each side of the street, looking for any evidence of the beautiful blonde girl who had been standing at the edge of the aisle where he was picking up some painkillers, observing him quietly and smiling softly. He had left the bar early that night having gotten into a fight with his brother's long time friend Martinez. Merle had been hitting on some poor girl who clearly was not interested and Martinez was egging it on. It had made Daryl sick to his stomach; the way Merle kept making vulgar comments and Martinez just eating it all up. Daryl had warned him in a low voice to cut it the fuck out. But Martinez had just looked at him and laughed. "What are you gonna do about it?," Martinez had bit out.
At that moment, the girl looking at him with a helpless look on her face, Merle laughing raucously at his latest barb and Martinez issuing that challenge; he had seen red. He had pulled his fist back and sunk it with all the force of his body into Martinez' nose, feeling the sickening crunch of splintering bone and the spurt of blood that followed. He knew he shouldn't have, but he felt better for having done it. He had wrapped his knuckles before getting on the bike.
When he had caught a glimpse out of her in the store right before she had disappeared, there had been a long moment between the two of them. She had smiled so softly at him then, her face almost bathed in sunshine. He had reached for her, completely an unconscious gesture. Something caught his attention momentarily just beyond where she stood, leaning against the pharmacy counter like she did so every day. When he turned around again, she was gone.
It hadn't been the first time he had seen her. He had seen her twice before, once a day last week when he was leaving the bike shop. She had been bent over a man sitting on the bench sitting across the street. He had been reading the newpaper and she looked to be reading over his shoulder. He thought it odd, but the man seemed to be completely unaware of her presence altogether. The next time he had seen her, he really had thought he had imagined it. He had fallen asleep against the outside of the shop a few days ago, right after lunch, and when he opened his eyes she had been standing under the neighboring tree, leaning against the trunk and watching him as he slept. He had reached up to rub his hand down over his face in an attempt to wake up and when he looked up, it was as if she had never been there at all.
Not seeing any evidence of her anywhere outside the store now and starting to wonder why she seemed familiar to him, he climbed on his bike and started it, fastening his helmet and speeding off in the direction of home, loving the vibration of the bike and the high speed he was chasing. He flexed his fingers at the next light. His hand was going to hurt like a bitch tomorrow, he thought. When he looked up, waiting for the light to change, he saw her again, beyond the next intersection. She held out the universal hooked thumb, her other hand propped on her jutted out hip.
She made a sight standing in the silhouette of the Georgia landscape, her flaxen hair brighter than the noonday sun looking radiant in the now soft glow of sunset. She was wearing a pair of tight-fitting blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket. The light turned green and Daryl was so mesmerized by the sight of her and making sure she didn't disappear this time, he nearly tipped the bike over at the slight curve before pulling up to where she stood. She smiled openly at him as he leveled his gaze at her. He was almost afraid to speak but he figured if she talked back to him, it might mean he wasn't crazy after all and she did really exist beyond his imagination. He pulled his helmet off so he could get a proper look at her. As he pulled it over his head, he half expected her to have vanished when he faced her. But there she was, looking directly at his eyes and smiling that bright as sunshine smile, her face full of trust and something that looked a lot like amusement. Like she knew something he didn't know. And in a way, she did; he had no idea where he knew her from. She clearly was privy to some information he didn't have access to. Oddly, it didn't bother him.
"Somebody as pretty as you shouldn't be out here thumbin' a ride. Didn't your mama ever tell you it's a dangerous habit to take rides from strangers?" The words rolled off Daryl's tongue like he spoke like this every day. But to tell the truth, he barely had two words to say to anybody, least of all Merle.
She laughed then, her soft contralto voice lilting in the muggy Georgia air, the day's humidity still being felt in the seam between sunset and dusk. "My mama told me lots of things." She said noncommittally. "You gonna give me a ride or what?" She tilted her head to the side, her blonde ponytail bobbing to the side. That's when he noticed the single long braid going down the middle of the gathered tresses. It might have seemed out of place on anyone else. But on her, it fit.
Daryl licked his lips, his mouth feeling suddenly dry, standing here and talking with this beyond beautiful girl. "Where ya headed?" Daryl asked her although he didn't know why. The way his heart was thrumming away seemingly right against his skin, he knew he would take her to the end of the earth if that was where she wished to go. The hell of it was that he didn't know why he felt that way. He just did and he was powerless to feel anything else but this awestruck wonder.
She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and he again got that feeling that he knew her from somewhere, something, some other time. "I don't know. What's your name, stranger?" she placed an emphasis on the last word, but the way her eyes bore into his seeming like they penetrated all the way in, it made him feel like she saw everything anyway and there was no way he could be a stranger.
"Daryl. What's yours?" He could not take his eyes away from her. It was a damn good thing Merle wasn't here to witness any of this. He'd be all over this like stink on a June and Daryl knew instinctively that Merle saying anything about this angel would likely irritate him; no make that enrage him.
"Beth," was her reply. "I'm going to the bus station in downtown Atlanta."
"Hop on," Daryl said gruffly before he could even have a chance to process what he had just agreed to. Beth beamed at him as she walked closer to the bike. He reached around behind him and retrieved the extra helmet reserved for the very few times he had somebody riding with him. For whatever reason, Beth didn't move to take the helmet from him and instead seemed to expect him to do something.
He hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do, then reached up and settled the helmet on her head, feeling all kinds of strange about messing up her ponytail even though it looked like it had seen better days in the first place. It just made her all that more endearing to him. He fastened the strap beneath her chin. His fingers skimmed over her jaw line as he pulled his hand away and his hand lingered just a bit longer than was necessary before he finally dropped it awkwardly back to his side.
Beth got closer and angled her body carefully until she swung one leg over the bike directly behind him and brought her knees up, pressing her chest into his back. Then Daryl felt her delicate fingers skimming the surface of his leather vest as they snaked around his middle to lightly clasp his ribs, her hold on him tentative at best.
He chuckled slightly as he turned his head to the side so she could hear him over the growl of the engine. ""S never gonna work angel," His chuckle was low and deep, but she could heard him nonetheless. He moved his hands up to hers on either side of his ribcage. He grabbed both hands and pulled her firmly against the back of him and pressing each palm into his abs. "You better hang on like this instead if you don't wanna go fallin' off the back. Unless you ain't fond of your skin." He said, smirking at her.
Beth nearly jumped off the back of the back when she felt it; the electric jolt that went through her body when he pulled her arms tighter around him and seated them firmly against his rock hard abs. She gasped a little and then coughed, hoping to cover up her surprise. She had heard of this happening before, but she had always been convinced that it would never happen to her. She was comfortable with her fate, relished it even. To say that it was surprising that she could feel him touch her would be a mild understatement. She was pulled so tightly against him now that she worried about releasing him at this point. If touching him brought an electric shock, then letting him go would surely be worse, wouldn't it?
Her reaction had been a little unexpected that she had nearly jumped away from him as he pulled her closer to him, but he had really only meant for her to safe. He hadn't meant to scare her and he felt like the worst kind of asshole for it. For the first time since he had stopped his bike to give her a ride, he felt a little anxious about the whole thing.
""Course I like my skin. I'll hang on; I promise," her voice was barely heard as a whisper over the loud hum of the bike. But as he could have predicted, she smiled at him, like looking upon him held the answers to all the world's problems. And when she smiled at him like that, all coherent thought left and he was left with nothing but gut reaction and his very inept social skills. Maybe he had imagined her reaction to his touch?
Seeming to find this an okay response, he kicked the bike back up and sped off, Beth gripped firmly against his back. He tried not to think how good it felt to have someone on the back of his bike. Beth riding behind him elicited all sorts of responses he hadn't had in a very long time. He loved the closeness. He loved the familiarity. He loved the way she kept gripping his leather vest every once in a while. He loved the way her fingers ignited something in him that he felt hadn't been awake for a very, very long time, maybe even ever. And he didn't even think of it in a sexual way. It was more like someone who had been deprived of oxygen while under water for an extended period of time. When they came back up, they sucked in air like their very life depended on it. Right now, that's the way Daryl felt. Like his breath of life hinged upon her very existence.
Beth was still reeling over the fact that she could feel his touch. It happened all the time, she had heard of it. She would have to ask Seth about it when she reported later that night.
The bus station was their rendezvous point, all of them. The Guardians met there every night at dusk and every morning just before dawn. It's where she had gotten this assignment in the first place. She had read his file; Daryl Dixon, drifter, minor tussles with the law, brother Merle in and out of prison. His file also said if he didn't change his lifestyle or find some direction, he wouldn't have much longer here on earth. The thought made her sad; not because he would die. She knew he'd be better for it in this cold cruel world with monsters roaming about. She would be sad because she wouldn't get to see him anymore. Once they made that ascent into Heaven, the Guardians gave up any claim on them.
He intrigued her more than she was willing to admit and she knew that the way her heart kept hammering in her chest every few minutes could not be a good thing. She turned her head to the side, shielding her face from the wind flapping about. She leaned her cheek against the back of his vest and felt the coarse stitching there. She remembered seeing a large pair of angels wings stitched on the back of the vest, like something out of Michelangelo's paintings. The wings looked like they belonged on him but his expression told her that he was not comfortable in the least. She sighed against him, feeling his warmth even through the vest and she barely had time to register the oddness of feeling warm when she wasn't supposed to be feeling anything at all. She was a Guardian after all and they didn't have sensations, not in the conventional sense.
She vowed to talk about all this with Seth later. For now she decided to enjoy the ride and instead concentrated on the things she felt that she could assign value to. She felt the wind whipping about them, the warmth of his skin through his leather vest, the way his abs felt beneath her. It was all abstract and not concrete but it was something and she would take it. She found herself wondering for the first time in all of her heavenly days what it would feel like to really touch someone. To feel all of the touch. To feel the pressure of the touch, the skin against the skin. She could only imagine it but her heart beat faster at the thought of it. She sighed as they approached the bus station, the city lights muting the canopy of stars that had been so clear just an hour before.
Daryl pulled up slowly to the front of the bus station, wondering how in the hell he was going to ask her for her number or if she would even give it to him. He had some insane need all the sudden to be near her and all the time. He felt almost irritated that he didn't want her to get off the back of his bike and most of all that she was going to be letting go of him soon.
"See ya later," he bit out, over his shoulder, just wanting to get it over with, the inevitable brush off that he just knew was coming.
Her hands lingered for a moment after she lifted her face away from his back, then he felt her hands drop away. He felt the absence of her warmth, of her proximity, of her beauty. Like being further away from her would somehow diminish her existence. He tried not to think too hard on the absurdity of his thoughts and what it might mean. As she swung her leg over the bike and planting her feet back on the ground, she found it odd that she had never been more unsteady. She had felt like she was floating along on the back of his bike and she never wanted to leave him. But she knew she had responsibilities to fulfill. She had to report off on her last assignment and give the update she knew Seth and some of the others were waiting for.
She hesitated near him, unsure of what to say now, this awkward tension between them, palpably hovering in the air. "Don't do that." She admonished gently, her mouth just barely turned up at the corners.
"Do what?" he demanded to know, hating that his voice had come out strained and angry.
"Don't act like this didn't mean somethin' to you." She looked at him pointedly and he found he couldn't form a proper response of denial.
Daryl stared at her a moment, contemplating what she had said and nodded slowly.
"So can I call you?," Daryl looked up at her, the way her nervous gaze kept flitting over the expanse of the bus station making him nervous as well. She reminded him of a bird, suddenly unable to decide if where it landed was safe or not.
Beth looked down at him then and studied him briefly. He was putting himself out here. From what she had read in his file it was not really in his character to initiate a second mode of contact; i.e. telephone call, e-mail, etc. She smiled brightly at him; pleased that she had some kind of effect on him. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad assignment after all. She always enjoyed them, but this one intrigued her to no end. It had been a long time since someone or something had piqued Beth's interest as much as Daryl Dixon did. Could have been centuries even. She knew she looked about all of 18, but in actuality she was much, much older than that. But time as a Guardian could never be measured in equal to that of mortals; that would be impossible. The dimensions were not the same, measurement of time and space could not be equal either.
"How about you pick me up here at sunrise?" She knew for a fact he had nothing planned for tomorrow. He never did on Sundays.
Daryl pulled his helmet off his head and turned his bike off, standing up to face her. "Who are you?" he asked her finally, his blue eyes boring into her bright green ones.
"I'm Beth" she said simply as if that was all the explanation that was needed. Daryl looked at her oddly for a moment, wondering why that really was enough explanation.
"I'll be here at 0600," Daryl whispered, deciding that he would give her the benefit of the doubt. Then he reached up to brush a stray lock of hair back behind her ear. She didn't flinch this time and he smiled. He wanted so very badly to kiss her right now, but he could count his knowledge of kissing on one hand so he just let his hand drop awkwardly back to his side.
"I'll see you then, Mr. Dixon," Beth said prissily before standing up on her tiptoes and without touching him, she placed a soft feather light kiss on his cheek.
Beth closed her eyes to press her lips to his cheek and she gasped inwardly at the feel of his beard stubble against her lips, the prickling sensation pleasant even as it tickled a bit. She set herself back down on the ground and after one last lingering look into his crystal blue eyes, she walked away, her fingers pressed to her lips as if she had just kissed him on the lips instead of his stubbly cheek. Suddenly she was afraid to ask Seth what all this might mean; why she could feel Daryl when she shouldn't be able to. Why she was so drawn to him? Why for the first time since she had been breathed into existence, she wondered what it would feel like to be human like Daryl. She swallowed thickly as she realized that she actually ached for that knowledge.
Daryl watched her go, clenching his fists at his sides in an attempt to keep from rubbing his cheek where her lips had just been. He got back on his bike and sped away, back in the direction of home and wondered where this angel had come from. He could hardly wait to see her again and that was an unfamiliar feeling to Daryl. He had never looked forward to anything in his life. It had never really gotten him anywhere before, having just barely survived his past and all the demons that come with it. But as Daryl thought on Beth, he knew that something had clicked into place inside of him. He couldn't put a name to it but he knew it was something good. That Beth was good and that being around her meant he might be able to be good too. As he watched the moon rise in the night sky, he pondered why she seemed so familiar to him and most of all he wondered why in the hell it felt like being with Beth seemed like coming home.
Okay this thought formed a couple of weeks ago and would NOT let go. Maybe it was my muse. Who knows. She has a mind of her own. But anyways, I don't know how it turned out but I kind of am intrigued by the angel/drifter part of the Bethyl dynamic. So you guys tell me what you think if you like. Thanks a bunch for writing. Lyrics at the beginning are from the completely awe-inspiring Bring Me the Horizon and their song "Can You Feel My Heart". I don't own this song or anything TWD.
PS – Please excuse any typos or gross grammatical errors. I have to work in the morning and am anxious to get this out. Thanks again!
PPS- If you are following Vanilla Fields and/or And the Walls Came Tumbling Down, never fear, I promise I have not given up, but they are taking quite a bit of research these days for updates, which I kind of predicted so I guess it is what it is. I will be updating Vanilla Fields hopefully by Monday morning.