"Night 'Lita," Odd calls. I smile and head into my room. As soon as I close the door, I flop onto my bed and sigh heavily. I am confused, very, very confused. And it's not about source logarithms. This morning Odd was going on and on about how much he hated Romeo & Juliet and how nobody would kill themselves for love. But, on Lyoko today, he jumped over the edge to shoot my bracelet in order for my wings to appear. If I hadn't flown up and linked hands with him, he would have fallen straight into the digital sea and died! Heck, if he'd missed my bracelet, we'd both be dead! He risked his life to save me!
This is where I get confused. Because Jeremie is willing to risk everybody else's lives for me but he's too frightened to risk his own. I know that he wouldn't.
Odd is always there to save me on Lyoko, and sometimes on Earth as well. It originated as him just doing that, before we became good friends. But somehow I always find myself and Odd in a compromising position on Lyoko and I actually like it. He's always there for me.
But Odd is just a typical player! His relationships last a maximum of two days each! Like today, for example, with the eighth wonder of the world, Brynga! He betrayed us for that blonde twig! However, I can't stay mad at people and he saved me from death- but still! Ugh, it's so confusing!
Jeremie's sweet, in fact, he's caring and adorable. But sometimes I feel obligated to like him. When he first brought me to Earth, we spent a night together around the town and I had the time of my life. He was acting carefree and jubilant, unlike his recent behavior. Ever since XANA unlocked the keys to Lyoko by gaining my memory, I felt as thought our connection somewhat disintegrated right then. He suddenly became so busy and had no time for anything but computers and Lyoko. I know, I know, he's doing it for us and the world and I shouldn't take it for granted, but I'm a 14 year old girl! I want to have fun sometimes! He never wants me to d.j at dances or try out for things like the Subdigitals concert! In regards to that, our first concert is coming up soon! I'm so excited! But anyway, Jeremie is great and I thought I really loved him, but it's seeming as though suddenly I'm finding all these holes in our relationship. We may both share a passion for math and science, but other than that, we're pretty different.
Odd on the other hand, is probably close to a polar opposite of me. He hates school, I enjoy it. He's not very intellectually talented, and I am. He's carefree always and has a wild inner spirit, I'm shy and emotional. But we both love music, and having a mean ride on the overboard. We both know how to have fun and arguing with Odd is kind of...fun. I mean, I get a rush when we fight. We don't fight often though. Jeremie and I fight more often than Odd and I.
But Jeremie- Jeremie. Overprotective, clueless Jeremie. The thing Jeremie and Odd both share is that they don't know how to admit they were wrong. Odd realizes it after he's done something, like with our fight a few weeks ago, but Jeremie just apologizes so that I won't be mad at him. He seems sincere but I don't really know if I believe it. He sometimes treats me more like a science project rather than a person just like him. Odd is always there to comfort me however, like when he found me crying in The Hermitage. He's the kind of friend who can sense when I'm upset easily and he knows a lot about the human.
Odd isn't school smart like Jeremie, but he's, oh how do I say it. Street smart! He knows how people work and he knows survival. He can figure something out easily when it comes to emotions. Granted, he does have a huge family. But he just gets people. And when we're on Lyoko and I'm holding onto him while on the overboard, I swear my hands get this tingly feeling when they're gripping his waist.
Lyoko, that's a whole other story with Jeremie, scared, unsure of himself Jeremie. Too scared to go on Lyoko. It's not like he understands how difficult it is. Some may say I'm being ridiculous after all he's done for me and how he basically is the reason we save the world, without him, none of this would have happened. Actually none of it, and I'm glad it did, because he brought the Supercomputer back to life and thus brought me life again. He materialized me and takes care of me, and programs everything on Lyoko for our benefit. He can fix a problem with the computer in a matter of seconds and because of him I found my father again.
Yet I feel this hollow emptiness when I think that I'm still in love with Jeremie. I think I was in love with him when I was first brought back because he was the one who brought me. And when I cupped his gentle face and kissed him, leaving him googly-eyed and stunned, I was sure I'd found the one. Especially because no one else would take him. It's rude, but it's true. I didn't care though, that he was geeky and strange, because I loved him. But almost a year later when Odd kissed me in the elevator, I felt this weird tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach and I didn't want it to end.
Jeremie's kiss was sweet- but it was missing one thing. The rush, the fireworks, and the tingly feeling. I got that feeling with Odd- I don't know what it is but I really, really liked it. Odd has saved me countless times but Jeremie is the reason I'm on Earth. I just don't get it. Why can't it be easier? I could compare and contrast the two for weeks, but now however, I am tired. I need my rest anyway. And tomorrow anyways, unless Sissi randomly decides to send Brynga back early, Odd will be rekindling his romance with the blondie. He commented on her eyes saying they were clear green. I have clear green eyes, I think. Why can't he comment on my eyes? What? What am I saying? Oh no, what is going on with me.
I turn off my light and and tuck myself into bed. As I fall asleep, the last image I see is us on Lyoko and Odd going,
"Are you Maya? I'm Odd. I have to admit, you're a real cutie- Jeremie's got taste."