A/N: Okay, this by far is the longest thing I ever wrote. So get a cup of coffee, better some fresh juice because it's hot, and try to enjoy it. K?
"I can't come, Bonnie." Grams says. "You're not the only member of this family who knows how to make a sacrifice."
"What does that mean?" Bonnie asks, confused.
"It means that I'm gonna be fine." She says. "I found peace because I made sure you'll find yours." Her smile is comforting and assuring. And for a moment Bonnie has nothing to worry about.
"I don't understand."
"Not to your concern. Just know that I looked out for you." She says with a sad smile, and pulls her in her embrace. Bonnie knows that she is looking out for her, when didn't she?
"I love you, Bonnie." She says and her voice cracks at last as she feels her sobbing against her shoulder. "You stay strong."
"I love you." Bonnie whispers.
She takes a deep breath and wipes her tears away as she watches Grams walking to the light, finding her own peace. She wants to break down, to cry it all out; it's been long journey for her. But it's not over yet.
"Bonnie." Comes a whisper from behind.
She turns around to see Caroline, eyes tired and face pale. She realizes that she's not the only one suffering.
"Liv's learned the spell." She smiles. "It's only about time and he'll be back." She nods, trying to assure her.
"What about you?" She asks. Her face is blank and eyes wide as she starts to understand.
"I'll…" Bonnie says but stops. She can't lie on Caroline, she doesn't want to.
"You can't pass through yourself." She says as she takes a step closer. "You're the other side's anchor, when it goes down you…" She trails off as the truth sinks in.
She's going to lose her, again. But this time, it's forever.
Bonnie bites her lower lip and looks down, when she looks up again, Caroline almost gasps at her face. Lips trembling and tears falling freely.
Without thinking, Caroline rushes to her and hugs her. She feels her hand holding her tight, fingers dipping into her skin. She feels her burying her face in her golden hair, and she holds her closer.
They let it out, both of them. Crying and sobbing. Memories of their friendship floating around. It's not the first time that they lose each other, but maybe because it's the first time they know before it actually happens.
Bonnie didn't know that Caroline would die in the hospital that night. Caroline didn't know that when Bonnie told her 'I love you' in their graduation it was her semi-goodye. They never said goodbye.
They pull apart and Caroline takes Bonnie's hands in her own. "This- there mus-we can-it can't-" Caroline can't even get any words out; she knows that this's it.
Bonnie watches her friend breaking. Her eyes are red from crying twice at the same day, lips trembling and cheeks wet.
"Hey. It's okay." She says as she puts her hand on her shoulder. "I've had enough; I've had a full life. I had you." Her voice cracks in the middle. She presses her lips to suppress another sob.
Caroline shakes her head and hugs her again. She thinks she can never let go.
She can't lose her.
She can't lose her too.
… …
The twins are sitting in the crypt, one alive and the other dead. Thanks to Caroline.
She knows that she shouldn't be here. She's quite aware of what she'd done and she knows that killing someone's brother isn't any good.
But she had to do it.
Liv looks up and closes her eyes. "What else do you want? Looking for another brother to kill?"
"I'm sorry for that." She says as she walks around, hands intertwined together, something she does when she's nervous. And if she isn't nervous for what's in her mind then when will she?
"I need your help." She says slowly with closed eyes.
"You've got to be kidding me." Luke says as he stands up.
"You killed my brother. Why would I help you, who are you gonna kill this time?" Liv shouts.
"I'm sorry about that okay?" Caroline shouts back. "But you wouldn't help us get him back."
She gets confused because of the way that Liv stares at her, just staring.
"Does he know that you have a thing for him?" She asks. And it takes Caroline off guard. Her eyebrows get furrowed and she looks at her as if she lost her mind, she even rolls her eyes and chuckles. But she stops in the middle of her fake act. She swallows hard because she can't run from it anymore.
"Do youeven know that you have a thing for him?" Liv asks, now aware of what's going on.
Caroline opens her mouth twice in attempt to defend herself, but nothing comes out. She ends up with her arms folded against her chest and a sigh leaving her lips.
"I need your help." She says in a low voice. And Liv chews her lower lips.
"No, no Liv." Luke shouts knowing that she can't hear him. "You've already got stuck in this."
But she doesn't hear him. So she hears Caroline instead.
… …
"Even when you're dead you're broody?" Lexi sighs as she watches him sitting on the bench, eyebrows furrowed and elbows leaning on his knees.
"Bonnie won't make it." He says without looking up.
"I know." She says slowly. "That's why you have to pass quickly got it?"
"It will destroy Caroline." He says. It's clear as crystal after how he saw them crying together.
Lexi is about to tease him before she sees his face. She takes a deep breath and sits down next to him.
"But you'll be there to hold her together."
He looks up and sees her smiling, but he doesn't sound convinced.
"What if…?"
"You'll be there." She interrupts him firmly.
"And you'll help each other. You'll get through everything together." She smiles again as she holds his hand. "Because hell would be heaven if you're together."
He's about to roll his eyes about her dramatic words but something stops him. It's like his brain freezes and everything is clearer. He realizes that she's right. He'd go through hell for Caroline, and he would go through hell with Caroline. Somehow she makes everything better.
He opens his mouth and stares at his feet. This isn't the right time for him to discover things, so he pushes it down.
… …
"Are you crazy?" The twins shout at the same time but only one of them is heard.
"You can do it; we did it before." Caroline tries to convince her as she holds the spell books in her hands. "Just read the spell."
"I know the spell that's not the problem. The problem is that I can't do it."
"But we did it before."
"You had a two thousand years old witch and three doppelgangers, can you bring me that?" She yells at her in disbelief.
"Qetsiyah was dead for most of those years and you can use something else." She says in a rush trying to convince her. "You can even use the death of the travelers, anything?" she sounds so desperate but it's not enough.
"I can't do this, Caroline. I'm sorry." She says as she sits down again.
"I have to start."
Caroline doesn't say anything as Liv starts to chant.
… …
It's been a while now since the spell had started. With Luke, Tyler and Enzo back to the living. Caroline stood by a close tree and observed everything. Her hand was playing with her necklace nervously while she waited for him.
"Elena, thank god." She says as she rushes to her friend. But something is wrong.
"No, Bonnie. Why would you do that? I can't leave without him." Elena says while crying.
"We'll find him."
"What's going on?" Caroline tries to understand. "Who are we missing?"
Stefan.
"Where's Stefan?" She shouts.
Bonnie starts to cough. Her hands are covered with blood from her mouth, and she falls into Caroline's arms.
"Oh my god. Bonnie?" She shouts as she holds her. Bonnie tries to stand straight and in attempt to she leans on Caroline, leaving blood on her hand while doing so.
"I have to find him." Stefan says.
"No." Bonnie manages to say through her coughs of blood.
"I'll go find him." Stefan says as he starts to walk away.
"No, Stefan. You need to go back." Lexi shouts.
"I can't leave him."
"I'll go with you."
"No, no. you stay here till I come." He says and starts to run.
"No, Stefan" Bonnie shouts while Caroline is still holding her.
"What? What's happening? Where is he? Bonnie, tell me." Caroline freaks out with wide eyes.
"He went to find Damon."
"No." She whispers.
This can't be happening. This is not the plane. He's supposed to come back. This can't be happening.
"No." She whispers firmly. Eyes looking at the crypt where Liv and Luke are. She has to do it. Now.
… …
"She said she can't do it." Luke shouts while Liv keeps chanting. "Can't you see she's going weaker already?"
"She's going weak because Bonnie is going weak. If I continue from here she'll have more time." She shouts too.
"She can't do it but you can." She says, her voice is getting calmer now.
"Why would I help you?" He says in case she forgot she killed him hours ago.
"Listen." She lets out a breath as she walks to him. "I'm sorry for what I did, but I have to save them. These people are my only thing; I can't let them… disappear."
He looks away with furrowed eyes.
"If this was about Liv, would you let her die?" She whispers.
He looks at her and sighs.
"Listen, I'm not asking you to go so far. If this will harm you or Liv then stop it. Okay?" She says.
"Fine."
… …
"No no no no." Damon says as he looks around. He's back. But his brother isn't.
"Damon." Elena sighs as she sees him.
"I was just trying to… she fell… I was just trying to…" His blue eyes are shining with fresh tears, shock finding its way to him.
"I have to find him." Lexi says.
"No, he told you to stay here." Bonnie tells her.
"No." Damon whispers to himself while Elena is busy hugging Alaric.
"I'll find him." Bonnie says as she reaches for Damon's hand. He looks down at her, tears threatening to fall. She's about to pull away but she feels too dizzy to move. She stumbles into Damon and he holds her. "Bonnie." He groans.
"I-I'm okay." She says as she stands straighter, only to fall back into his arms but this time unconscious.
Meanwhile inside the cemetery Caroline lies on the ground unconscious. Next to her is luke, chanting with his hands above handkerchief spoiled with Bonnie's blood, Caroline's blood next to it and Caroline's daylight ring in the middle.
His voice grow louder as the candles around them light brighter, wind going between them and moving everything except the spell contents and Caroline's body. When luke finishes the spell, he gasps for air, hands wiping away the blood from his nose. He looks at Caroline's body and wait for something. Anything.
… …
"What's happening?" Elena asks as she looks at Bonnie's body.
Damon can't take his eyes off Bonnie. His hands pushes her hair away from her face. "Come on, Bonnie." He whispers. And just like that her eyes shoot open. Her hands clutch to his shoulders as she grasps for air. And Damon takes a deep breath in.
"Bonnie Bennett, you scared the hell out of me." He says humorlessly.
… …
Her eyes open and she jerks off the ground, eyes turning around as she tries to catch up.
"What happened?" She asks. "Did it work?"
"There's only one way to find out." He says as he hands her a knife. She takes it quickly then slow down, she takes a moment before cutting her palm. And she waits.
She doesn't heal.
She stands up quickly and heads for the door. Then she turns around and looks at him.
"I'll try my best." He says.
She walks out and he take Liv's hands, who didn't stop chanting for a second. He starts chanting with her and their voices grow louder and louder.
… …
Damon helps Bonnie to stand up. For some reason she feels something is wrong. Something had changed. She looks around and her eyes grow wide.
Caroline looks at her from the cemetery's door, making sure that she's fine.
"Bonnie?" Damon says as he feels something wrong with her.
"Something is wrong." She says. Her eyes find Caroline and she notices her hand in instant, wound bleeding and not healing.
"Caroline?" She whispers.
"Which way?" She asks her with a smile.
"Caroline." She says again, louder.
Caroline doesn't answer her, she just titles her head and sighs with the same smile. "Which way?" she asks again.
Tears roll down Bonnie's cheek while no one around then understand anything.
"This way." She says and titles her head to the left.
She smiles and walks to where Bonnie told her.
… …
"Caroline?"
She turns around and sees Lexi in front of her. She doesn't say anything; she doesn't know what to say.
"What have you done?" Lexi asks, eyebrows furrowed and confusion filling her face.
"I have to find him." She smiles.
Lexi only shakes her head.
"Come on, you need to pass." Caroline says as she reaches out a hand.
"No. Not before him." She steps away from her.
"Lexi, you have to pass. One of us has to be there for him."
Lexi opens her mouth but shuts it again. She's right.
Caroline tilts her head with her arm in front of her.
And Lexi takes her hand.
She passes.
She passes through the girl that should've been waiting for him. She doesn't want to think about it, how he will react when he finds out.
No more Caroline.
"I'll find him." Caroline says.
… …
She's walking through the woods, looking for him. The wind is getting stronger, almost preventing her from seeing.
She covers her eyes with her hands, trying to avoid the wind and walk through it. She sees something, someone. Him.
He walks towards her and she puts her hand down with relief.
"Stefan." She sighs.
He runs to hug her but stops few steps away from her. His eyebrows get furrowed as he looks at her face. Her eyes are shining with tears.
"Wait." He whispers. "How can you see me?"
She bites her lips and with a title of her head, he gets it. And he doesn't want to. He wants to be wrong. This can't be happening.
"Caroline?"
It's the way he says her name, the way it slips through his lips. It's his voice, deep but soft, turning her stomach upside down. She was afraid she'd never hear it again. Without knowing it tears are falling from her eye. Her lips are shaking as she tries to find words for… whatever the hell this is.
But she doesn't say anything.
She just stares back into his eyes, now red and filled with tears as well.
"Caroline." It's a whisper this time.
She smiles up at him, tears going through her lips and she tastes her own salty tears.
"Come on." She says. "You need to pass."
"No." He mutters in shock as he takes a step back.
"Stefan." She closes her eyes and takes a step closer.
She feels like someone stabbed her with a knife in the stomach as she sees his face. He's crying. Tears falling freely. For her.
She wants to say something but she suddenly forgets how to speak.
"You'll be okay." She says. "Lexi is there and Damon. You'll be fine."
He shakes his head and stares at her.
"I'll be fine." She says.
"Caroline, I-" he shakes his head again, not knowing what to say.
"Just do me a favor, okay?" She puts on a smile although she's crying even harder. And with a step closer she takes in a shaky breath. "Don't forget about me, okay?"
He bites his lips and shakes his head.
"Don't forget about Caroline Forbes, okay?"
Her voice is soft; it reminds him of the girl he met at the bonfire years ago.
She stares at him and waits, waits for his word.
So he nods.
She lets out a sob and rushes to him, pulling him into her arms, while her hands cling to his shoulders. She closes her eyes and feels his arms hugging her back. And it's so strong. He never hugged her like that. He's more of holding her than hugging her.
He holds her, as if he can hide her from the world, from their fate.
She brushes her cheek against his shoulder and feels his hands going up and down on her back. And then she feels it.
She pulls back slowly and looks him up and down. Her hands move down his shoulders and his eyes follow them, till they land on her eyes.
"No." She says with wide eyes. "No no no no." She repeats as she keeps holding him over and over again.
He didn't pass.
His eyes fall closed and he lets out a breath that he's been holding. She's still trying; her hands feel warm against him as she holds his shoulder.
"No." She shouts in anger.
He holds her wrists in his hands and opens his eyes. His look hurts her even more; even now he's trying to make her feel better.
"No." She whispers.
… …
"No." Damon shouts as he storms into the crypt, eyes wide and searching for the twins. "Liv." He shouts.
Caroline walks in silently. Luke told her that he'd try his best.
"Damon." She says.
"This is your fault." He shouts as he turns around and points his finger at her. "If you didn't switch turns with Bonnie she would get to him in time."
"Damon." She says firmly. Her eyebrows get furrowed and she looks at him in confusion.
"And now you'll be gone as well."
His voice is softer, eyes wide looking at the ground as he takes it all in. This wasn't the plane.
She lets out a breath and closes her eyes. Then she turns her head slowly as she senses his presence. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to.
"He's here." She says.
He looks around and shakes his head.
Caroline turns around and starts to leave; she gives Stefan an understanding look before doing so.
Damon stumbles back and leans into the wall.
"We were supposed to have eternity, brother." He says.
Stefan only lets out a chuckle then sniffles to hold his tears.
"What we had was much better." He says while staring at him. And the fact that he can't see him or hear him makes it even worse. He takes a deep breath and steps closer to him. His hand is inches away from his shoulder while Damon is busy with looking at his feet.
He stares at his hand for few seconds before he finally holds him. One tear makes its way down his cheek when Damon feels it. He sees his brother looking down at his shoulder, eyes wide and mouth open, trying to say something but failing.
"Stefan I-"
"I know, Damon." Stefan smiles. "I know… brother."
His fingers hold him tighter before he lets go, for the last time.
… …
He steps out of the crypt and inhales deeply with closed eyes till he smells her scent.
She is leaning against the wall on his right. He looks at her and she's already staring. She opens her mouth and pushes her leg off the wall and turns around to meet him. He turns around fully and they're both staring at each other. She's just about to talk when someone calls her name.
They both turn around and see her. Lexi.
Caroline looks back at Stefan quickly, and his face is blank.
"Is he…?" She asks while looking around.
"He's here." She says and looks at where he's standing.
Lexi just sighs with tears in her eyes.
"Tell her to be good." Stefan says from behind Caroline with a tune of joking in his voice. And it makes her chuckle.
"He is telling you to be good."
She chuckles too.
"Stefan, I…" Her hands come up to her stomach as she takes a step closer. Tears already falling from her eyes, which somehow are looking directly into his.
He clinches his jaw and his hands turn into fists.
"Tell her…" He pauses as his voice fails him. It's barely above a whisper and it sends a shiver through Caroline's body, so she squeezes her eyes shut.
"Tell her that I'll be fine." He says.
Lexi nods trough tears when Caroline says it.
"And don't kill Damon." He smiles and so does she when she hears it.
He looks down at Caroline and she smiles at him. They don't know what to say. What do people say in such situations?
He opens his mouth to say something, but then he's looking at something behind her. She turns around to see Bonnie.
"Bonnie." She lets out a breath as the Bonnie walks to her. Stefan puts his hands in his pockets and with a smile he walks away to leave them alone.
"I don't know what to say." Bonnie says through a sob as Caroline falls into her embrace.
"It's okay." Caroline says, voice soft and eyes closed.
"I've had enough. I had you." She says.
She pulls back, hands falling down from her shoulder to hold her hands. "It's okay, Bonnie. I'll be okay. Be happy okay? Live and enjoy your life." Her smile is bright and big.
"And tell mom that I love her, okay?" She lets out a laugh.
Bonnie only nods.
She pulls back and walks away.
… …
Bonnie walks into the crypt and sees Damon on the ground, Elena's arms around him as she strokes his hair. But he isn't there. His eyes are staring at the ground. His eyes are empty.
He looks up at her and his eyes go wide, asking her one question.
"It's over." She whispers.
He runs out of the crypt, shouting Stefan's name as he looks around like a mad man.
"BROOOOTHER." He shouts angrily.
"Don't leave me." He whispers.
His eyes find Caroline, standing alone. She looks at them as they gather behind Damon. Elena, Tyler, Alaric and Lexi. With Bonnie standing next to Damon.
She smiles through the wind. She can barely stand still. She watches them as they fade, and no one is there any more. She stands alone.
Until he comes. The voice of his footsteps calm her down. It's so familiar; it takes her back to all those times he found her. When they were just about to start the night and laugh next to the bonfire. This time is different, there's no bonfire, in fact it's so cold. She can tell there won't be much laughter. And it's sure as hell not the beginning of a night.
"This place is going down, isn't it?" He asks as he stands next to her.
"It is."
She looks at him and opens her mouth, it's now or never. His look tells her that he knows what she wants to say, as always.
"I'm sorry." She says and he shakes his head, just about to interrupt before she goes on. "I should've been faster."
This time she manages to hold back the tears.
"I'm sorry that you had to do it." He says back.
She reaches out to his eyebrows, her fingers easing between them, wiping away the broody look. And they smile.
"Stefan, I-"
She pauses.
"You-"
Deep breath.
He watches as she struggles to find something to say. Only if he knew that she just doesn't know how to say it.
"Knowing you was the best thing that ever happened to me." She says and he smiles. "You, Stefan Salvatore, are the best thing that ever happened to me." She nods nervously as she lets it out. And it shocks her that this is the best she can do, the farther she can go. His gaze makes her even nervous. She wants to say something; this is the last conversation ever between them. It's now or never.
But she finds herself looking away and staring into the light in front of them.
"At least we know, that till my last breath… I won't forget about Caroline Forbes." His voice is a whisper and she can barely hear it in the middle of the wind. But she hears it perfectly.
She looks back at him and smiles, takes in what's in front of her. A genuine smile instead of a broody look while the wind messes up his hero hair.
She is not the first, neither is he. They reach for each other's hand at the same moment. And they hold each other.
The wind gets stronger suddenly and it pushes them a step back. But their hands never apart. Her other hand goes up to his jacket and holds him firmly while his other hand wraps around her back. She moves closer to his embrace and his other hand let go of her own only to move to her hair. He feels how her strands go through his fingers before he pulls her closer. Her head now against his neck.
She closes her eyes as she feels one of his hands on her hair and the other on her back, as if he's hiding her in his arms.
They both close their eyes and wait.
He feels her fingers holding his jacket much stronger, so he tightens his grip around her.
"Scared?" He whispers.
"No." she says. "I'm with yo-"
TBC.