"Hey, Doesn't That Remind You of Something?"


This short story takes place in a small high school, in Washington, D.C. As part of drama and english, two freshman girls, Claudia and Shannon, are assigned to produce a play. They're big Laverne and Shirley fans, so they decide to pick an episode to do as the play. In case you're wondering, Claudia is Shirley and Shannon is Laverne. Now, here's the difficult part: Who's gonna be Carmine? What episode will they do? Let's take a look......

(in the auditorium, Shannon and Claudia are looking at an episode guide trying to pick an episode.)

Shannon: We have a Lenny, and a Squiggy, and an Edna, and a Frank, even a Rosie Greenbaum. What's with you? What's wrong with the guys we saw?
Claudia: Carmine has to sing, and dance. That third guy has two left feet!
Shannon: Okay, then the dance studio episode is out, and all the Shotz talent shows too. Why you being so picky about a Carmine? (it hits her) Oh, I get it. You might have to make out with that Carmine, I get it.
Claudia: Not just that! (thinks about it for a second) Well, yeah, it's that.
Shannon: Then what about the episode where Shirley and Carmine break up?
Claudia: I don't want them to break up.
Shannon: Alright, then how about.......

(just then, a guy walks in. It's Mark, Claudia's ex boyfriend.)

Mark: Hey girls. You still holding auditions for that Carl guy?
Claudia: His name is Carmine, and no, we found one.
Shannon: No we didn't.

(Claudia elbows her, and she squeaks)

Shannon: (in Claudia's ear) Look, you have to admit Mark can sing. And he dances pretty good.
Claudia: Alright, I'll give him that, but that's all I give him.
Shannon: Just read one scene with him.

(then Mrs. Richards, the drama teacher, walks in)

Mrs. R: Hello girls. So, how's the production going?
Claudia: Uhh, real good. We have almost the whole cast assembled.
Mrs. R: Well this must be the young Carlton.
Claudia: It's Carmine, and this is Mark Johnston.
Mrs. R: How splendid. Audition for us Mr. Johnston.
Claudia: That's not really necassary....
Shannon: Yes it is, actually, we still haven't found a guy for the play who can sing and dance.
Mark: I've been taking dance lessons for 9 years. And I help out at the studio by giving singing lessons.
Claudia: That doesn't mean anything.

(Shannon pulls Claudia aside)

Shannon: Claud, you're fighting a losing battle. He can sing real well and you know that.
Claudia: Yeah, I know, but still....
Shannon: If you want we'll pick an episode without Carmine, but I'm telling you, this guy's gonna sell tickets like that. ::snaps fingers::
Claudia: How about the episode "A Date With Eraserhead"?
Shannon: You sure?
Claudia: Positive. C'mon.

(they walk over to Mark and pick up a piece of paper.)

Claudia: Here's your lines for this scene, okay? You're Carmine, I'm Shirley.
Mark: You think I've never seen one of those shows before?

(they walk on the stage and stand in the mock set)

Mark: Oh, standards, just like your standards. 'Hi Shirl, I'm a doctor' (does a fake laugh)
Claudia: (she skips a few lines) Fine with you fine with me. You know something, there's a thousand guys in that city who wanna go out with me and now's their chance and you know why?
(she opens the stage door)
Claudia: Because Mark and Claudia aren't going together anymore!!

(it suddenly hits her the stupid thing she said. She turns a deep red and tries it again)

Claudia: Because Carmine and Shirley aren't going together anymore! That's why.

(Shannon and Mrs. Richardson are staring at Claudia who walked out the stage door and at Mark who's standing there confused)

Mrs. R: You're our new Carmine, Mark.
Mark: Thanks, I guess.
Shannon: Yeah, um, listen, you need a blue letterman's jacket with "The Big Ragoo" sewed on the back.
Mark: Oh, yeah, I can get one of those.
Shannon: I'll be right back.

(Shannon runs into the hallway and looks for Claudia. Huddled in the hallway, Claudia's sitting there)

Shannon: Claud, what's wrong?
Claudia: Everything. I mean, did you see how I screwed up reading that scene?
Shannon: Everyonw screws up. It's normal.
Claudia: But it was infront of Mark! I mean, at least he's not Carmine.

(Shannon sighs and starts pacing with a worried look on her face)

Claudia: That sigh can't be good. What happened?
Shannon: You remember how you said at least Mark isn't Carmine?
Claudia:Yeah, what about it?
Shannon: See, Mrs. Richardson just cast him as Carmine.

(from the auditorium where Mark and Mrs. Richardson are talking you hear a blood curdling, glass shattering scream)

Mark: I guess Claud heard the good news.

Will this play be a total disaster? What Laverne and Shirley lesson will these kids learn? Stay tuned!